The Interloper
by Virginia Dare
Summary: A detective investigating someone from Iris's distant past becomes embroiled in the drama of the Crowe household. Flashbacks of Justin and Iris in much different times and lives take their toll on a pair headed for an uncertain future.
1. Chapter 1

"Can I look at it now?" Iris asked as she sat on the corner of Justin's bed watching him get dressed for the day. He looked at her through the mirror, his eyebrows knitting themselves into an expression of vague disapproval accompanied by curiosity. Iris leaned back on her arms, stretching the top of her slip tight across her breasts and uncrossed her legs. "It's just," she started with a casual tone, "I've never really looked at it in the daylight before."

Justin stopped buttoning the bottom of his shirt and dropped his arms to his side to get a better view up Iris's slip from the mirror, craning his head a bit dramatically, "I've never seen your knees." he reminded her.

Iris sat up quickly and pulled at the skirt of her slip so the fabric exposed her scarred knees. She looked toward him defiantly. Justin turned around to face her, letting his shirt fall open. He walked over to her and pushed his frame between her legs, so her face was resting just a hair above his belt buckle. She looked up into his face.

"Well," he said smiling wickedly, "don't look at me, look at it."

Iris pushed the sides of his shirt away and ran her fingers along the lines spiraling and intersecting across his pale skin, the knurls and knots and branches mirroring his own ribs. In the sunlight the stark contrast of ink and white flesh startled the flirt out of her and replaced the smile on her face with an open mouthed awe. "Did it hurt?" she asked as she looked into his eyes again. He grasped one of her hands in his, and brought it to his mouth, kissing her fingertips lightly. Things between them had become suddenly serious.

"Excuse me."

Iris looked toward the doorway first. Sofie was leaning against the door jamb, completely non plussed at the scene in front of her. "Yes dear?" Iris choked out, her voice a faint version of it's more commmanding self. Sofie didn't seem to notice.

"There's a detective at the door for you."

"For me?" Iris asked, straightening herself out more.

"What does he want?" Justin interrupted beginning to button up his shirt with the kind of assured grace that he never lacked.

"He didn't say," Sofie shrugged her shoulders, "only that he wanted to speak with Ms. Iris." Sofie shifted on her feet, "What do you want me to tell him?"

"Tell him I'll be right down." Iris said, exhaling loudly to signal that nothing could be helped, and with that Sofie disappeared.

"Is there anything I need to know?" Justin asked as he turned to the mirror again for a final preening.

"No." Iris said simply, biting her lower lip as she stood up, her mind racing through various scenarios. She looked at her brother wondering how many he knew about, wondering if he was ready to let her hang for something she hadn't yet discerned. With Justin discernment was always necessary. And she always forgot to pray for that particular gift. Always assuming she had enough.

"You look like someone just walked over your grave." Justin said, chuckling to himself.

"Did they?" Iris asked, boring into Justin's eyes with a will much stronger than she actually posessed.

"Not on my watch, my dear." Justin answered turning to face her and smiling somberly, to let her know he was indeed serious about the sentiment.

"Well then," Iris tried to smile as though that alone was enough comfort, "guess I should go see what he wants."

Justin watched Iris trapse out of the room as if she was on her way to the firing squad. Iris's march of death was interchangable with the loping strut of a cat that still had feathers dangling from its maw. 


	2. Chapter 2

Iris's room felt cold and empty to her as she reached into her closet for something to wear. She tried to remain calm as she patted down the collar of her dress, wondering if her and Justin should have tried to agree on something to say, though she had no idea what questions might be asked of her. She heard Justin's door shut and the familiar rhythm of his shoes against the wood floor. It was too late for a last minute intrigue.

Iris stepped carefully out into the hall, trying not to announce her presence to whoever was downstairs. As she edged closer to the stairs she tried to listen for voices, any snippet of conversation that might clue her in as to the purpose of the detective's visit. But she heard nothing. She reached the bottom of the stairs, and the house was quiet. Iris stepped into the front room more confidently realizing it was empty. She listened again for voices. She heard the faint squeak of chain through wood, and a cough. Iris went to the front door pushing open the screen slowly, trying to get a look at the detective through the mesh, while she could still hide her face, if only briefly.

The detective was sitting alone on the porch swing, his hat in his hands, looking out over New Canaan. It startled Iris how comfortable he seemed to be, as if it was his own porch swing he was rocking in. Iris didn't recognize him, not at all. She regarded his profile against the skyline, it was for all intents and purposes, typical, his hair was dark, but graying at the sides. She placed him at her age or a little younger. He had a large frame, but judging from the way he leaned back against the swing so casually she guessed the threat of his presence most likely came from swagger rather than bulk. The suit was tailored though, and nicely. Not typical for a policeman's salary, and not the most likely place he'd spend it for that matter. She let the screen door slam against the door frame. The detective jumped. Iris smiled.

"I'm sorry," she said as she walked toward him, "I didn't mean to startle you."

The detective stood up, laughing at himself. He closed the distance between them, almost too aggressively. He held out his hand, smiling warmly, but narrowing his eyes slightly in an acknowldgement of the little trick she'd just played. 

"Hi," he said, "are you Iris Crowe?"

Iris didn't answer, unsure of how to read the man before her. He knew all the gestures of polite display, but also didn't have a problem treating them as such. The detective pulled back his hand, realizing Iris wasn't going to play along.  
He ran his hand up the back of his head, looking off towards New Canaan again breifly, smiling with a strain Iris recognized as mild frustration.

"I'm Jack Tiernan, I'm a private detective." The words came out as awkwardly as they sounded.

"I gathered as much." Iris said, shifting on her heels before taking a step back to regain control of the space around her. She let her eyes move over his suit again. He caught her eyes with his, a twitching smile moving across his lips. Iris smiled back at him. "You seemed quite at home in that old rocker, Mr. Tiernan." she said, pushing a bit. 

"I guess there's just something about a porch swing," he said, eying the rocker before returning to Iris, "It just makes a place a home." the detective looked around the veranda, "even a big one like this." He wasn't smiling anymore, just looking at Iris steadily.

"The Lord has been very kind to us." Iris said, matching his look.

"Yes," he said, "yes he has."

"Is there something I can help you with Mr. Tiernan?"

"Actually yes," he said reaching into his jacket, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to waste your time." He moved in closer to Iris and pulled out a photograph. It was a picture of one of the houses Iris used to work in as a young woman. There were several people standing in the front of the house, all in their servants uniforms. She recognized herself immediately.

"Where did you get this?" Iris asked, grabbing the photograph and pulling it close to her chest to get a better look. She recognized the faces of old friends. She struggled to remember all of the names, but the girl standing next to her in the photograph she knew was Rose Thacker, more from the memory of the day the photograph was taken then from the faded image of her. The last real friend she'd had before life with Justin began in earnest.

"You recognize it then?" The detective asked, snooping over Iris's shoulder.

"Of course I do." Iris snapped, "it's a picture of me. I remember this house...the Dahlia's house." she looked up into the detective's eyes, realizing they were nearly the same shade as her own, as Justin's. Iris didn't like this at all. "The last name...pretty, like the flower. I've always remembered it." she tried to sound casual as she ran through every event that had ever taken place under that roof. It took all of her strength to fight back the shudder that wanted to overcome her. She didn't want to think about that.

The detective took the photo back from Iris, "I'm trying to locate someone," he said adopting a more business like posture, "The Dahlia's don't have employee records that far back. But they had this photograph and a few names." He motioned Iris to the porch swing, taking a seat after her. "Your name was one they recalled," he said, "on account of your brother." He nodded toward the house. "I just need to know if you could put a few names to the other faces." He handed her the photograph again and reached into his jacket retrieving a notepad and pencil.

Iris looked at the photograph again,"Well, that's me back there with my hair in the cap," she said pointing to the lanky ghost of her youth standing apart from the three stocky looking young men in the front, "that girl with the braids I'm holding hands with," she said tapping her fingertip over a young blonde woman's face, "that was Rose Thacker." Her fingernails trailed down the woman's back. She caught herself falling into the nostalgia of Rose's perfume lingering in a sweater she'd borrowed for a date almost thirty years ago. "The three boys were Mick, John, and Abel." she said as she tapped the head of each one, like she was naming angels. She watched as the detective wrote down the names. "I really can't recall their last names." she said as she tried to peer at what else was written down in his notes.

"That's all right" the detective said, closing the notebook briskly. He stood up suddenly and extended a hand to Iris. She allowed him to help her up. "You wouldn't happen to know where any of these people are now, would you?" he asked, smiling in a mock show of hope.

Iris looked at the photo again as they walked to the porch steps, then looked up at the detective, "I never really stayed in touch with the boys." She looked back down at the photo, smiling as she ran a finger over the smirking face of one of them, a blonde in his early twenties, leaning against the shoulder of a taller dark haired teenager in a driving cap. "I heard that Abel was chased out of town in some kind of lover's quarrel. But I don't like to gossip." She handed the photo back to the detective, "as for Rose, we lost touch when I moved to St. Paul with my brother. I thought I heard somewhere that she got married, but I really can't be sure."

The detective tucked the picture back into his jacket. "Was she seeing anyone serious when you left?" he asked with a leading curiosity Iris recognized from the detectives she'd spoken with after the carnival. "You almost sound like a real detective." Iris said, not wanting to linger in the memory of her and Rose long enough to recall the bitter parts. But already the dark feelings from her time at the Dahlia house was creeping into her psyche. "Is that who you're looking for?" Iris asked him, "this has something to do with Rose?"

The detective smiled down at Iris, "I can't really say at the moment." He chuckled a bit, "I mean, I'm not really sure yet. You're the first person I've talked to."

"You talked to the person who hired you." Iris countered lifting her eyebrows.

The detective smiled back at her, handing her a slip of paper, "Should you remember any more names, don't hesitate to call."

Iris took the card, and read the handwritten name and number, followed by a room number. She looked up at him sharply, "You're not local?"

He stepped down the first step, leveling their height. "Just passing through," he said looking almost through her, reading her. Iris felt naked for an instant. "Then again, maybe this whole thing will get settled right here." he said, looking back toward the skyline, the sun working its way high over head. He put his hat back on and looked back at Iris, "I don't imagine it will though." Iris looked down her nose at him, still not quite sure what to make of the well-dressed detective with bad manners. He squinted back up at her, his head moving up and down subtly. "Time's been good to you Ms. Crowe." he said, with a tone of genuine appraisal that brought a slight flush to Iris's cheeks before she could check herself. The detective abruptly turned and stepped down onto the lawn. Iris watched as he made his way back to his car.

Iris brought the card to her lips, recalling Rose and the boys in the kitchen at the Dahlia house. All of them around the table drinking Mr. Dahlia's brandy and smoking his cigarettes. Playing cards until dusk, while the family was away at a funeral somewhere in Oregon. 

"What was that about?" Sofie asked through the screen door. Iris turned around quickly.

"I'm not sure." she said, tucking the detective's card into the front pocket of her dress. 


	3. Chapter 3

Iris was scrubbing a mixture of ammonia and detergent into the sweat stains ringing the underarms of one of Dr. Dahlia's white shirts in the laundry room when the new girl walked in. She was slightly plump and her blonde hair was held up only loosely on top of her head. She was carrying her cap in the waistband of her apron. Iris immediately dropped her eyes back to the work at hand, crumpling the shirt in front of her and throwing it into the basket at the side of her feet, she reached into the pile of white clothes on the other side of her and began again searching for any stains. She found some kind of makeup smeared along the collar and grabbed the bottle of vinegar from the shelf in front of her and doused the area.

"That's not Mrs. Dahlia's color."

Iris looked up suddenly, her face losing all it's color. She turned to the girl next to her with a lift of her eyebrows indicating her utter shock, and Iris hoped, conveying the urgency with which she needed to shut her mouth.

The girl was smiling wickedly at Iris. She was beautiful, much more so that she, Iris quickly determined. Her face was much more open...friendlier than her own, and Iris felt a twinge of envy. Iris wanted to look more friendly, wished that her life wasn't written so clearly on her features.

"I'm Rose," the girl offered, "and you're Iris."

Iris crinkled her features a bit at the girls odd sense of manners.

"Mrs. Dahlia told me that you're the workhorse around here." Rose explained, "I think she meant it as a compliment." she quickly tried to reassure Iris.

Iris cracked a smile. "I guess you've figured out that's not one of her best qualities." Iris countered.

"Yeah," Rose agreed, "I was imagining a big matronly woman with braided buns in her hair or something." she looked at Iris appraisingly, "you look like a lot more fun."

Iris looked at the girl trying to wrestle her smile back into submission, but it was no use, she could already sense that her and this girl were going to get each other into trouble. "Rose. That's my mother's name." Iris said.

"Well, I guess I'm in good company then." Rose smiled. She took the cap out from her waistband and put it over her hair unceremouniously. "Why don't you hand me one of those shirts." she said reaching out her hand.

Iris dug through the pile on the left side of her and handed it to Rose. "When your done it goes into this basket." Iris nodded her head toward the basket between them.

Rose began examining the shirt for stains and Iris went back to blotting out the stain on the shirt in her own hands.

"So what did the detective want?"

Iris jumped at the sound of Justin's voice, pulling her suddenly back into the present moment. "Dear God Justin, you scared the living daylights out of me."

"I'm sorry," he offered, "you were just standing there looking off into space."

"Oh," Iris said looking around and down at herself, still a little confused. "I was just thinking, I guess I got lost in my thoughts."

"What's that?" Justin asked pointing at her dress.

Iris looked down and saw that the detective's card was peeking out of her pocket. She took the card out of her pocket and handed it to Justin. "It's his card. I guess he's not from around here, he's staying at the motel."

Justin took the card and turned it over in his hand for a few moments. "Jack Tiernan." Justin read the name like a question.

"Yes, apparently he's a private detective."

"Hmmn. Not real police." Justin said pocketing the card. "I'll have someone look into it," he looked at Iris smugly, "make sure he doesn't bother you anymore."

"Justin," Iris said, shock rising out of her voice, "I really don't think that's neccessary!" Justin looked at her suspiciously. "He's just looking for someone." Justin still didn't look convinced. "He's harmless, really." she smiled.

"Who is it he's looking for?" he asked moving closer to Iris so that she was forced to look up to look into his eyes.

"I'm not sure." she said.

"He didn't say?" Justin smiled. "That's not very advantageous on his part."

"That's not really my concern Justin," she smiled "I'm just saying."

"So," Justin said smiling down at her "someone from the Dahlia house is in a bit of a pickle? Can't say that I'm very surprised."

Iris narrowed her eyes at Justin.

Justin smiled widely answering the question he knew she wanted to ask, "Of course I was dear. You didn't think I'd actually leave you alone with some strange detective did you?"

Iris rolled her eyes and huffed, not wanting to admit that indeed, that was exactly what she'd thought Justin had done. Justin pulled Iris into his arms and kissed the top of her head. She didn't respond his embrace but rather let him maneuver her body, her only real act of resistance. Justin leaned down slightly to whisper in her ear. "All that ugliness is behind us now, remember."

Iris hestantly put her arms around her brother, returning his hug. "I'm sorry, I forget sometimes." she murmured into his chest. They stood there for a moment like that in the hallway.

"I won't let anything bad happen to you, I promise." Justin said as he gently rocked her in his arms. As Justin leaned down to kiss her neck sweetly, Iris snaked her hand toward his jacket pocket, slipping the tips of her fingers in enough to grasp the edge of the detective's card. Iris pushed Justin toward the wall with her body and stood on the tips of her toes to kiss him. He reached up both hands to hold her face and return the kiss and she slipped the card back into her own pocket, pulling away suddenly. Justin looked at her confused.

"Sofie." Iris said simply as an explanation. "She could come down the hall at any moment."

Justin rolled his eyes at her concern, and pushed himself off of the wall. "Breakfast is waiting." he said gesturing her to lead the way to the kitchen with his arm. Iris stepped ahead of him shoving her hands down into her pockets to feel the card. She toyed with the edges of it with her fingertips.

"I need to wash my hands." Iris said when they reached the doorway, and broke off through the livingroom.

Alone in the bathroom she reexamined the card, re-reading the detective's name scribbled across the back. She wondered if indeed he was looking for Rose. It had been so many years and still she thought of her friend often. Imagining what had become of her, and hoping that she had managed to find some kind of happiness. She placed the card in the very back of the drawer with her hairbrush and pins. She ran the tap water for a few seconds in case Justin was listening and closed the drawer. She turned off the water and made her way back to the kitchen, trying her best to hide the traces of hope and mystery that were surely working themselves across her face. 


	4. Chapter 4

Iris made her way through town, trying not to think about the detective's motel, and how easy it would be to slip unseen down the alley way to its main entrance. She was sure that in part the motel had been designed specifically to facilitate that kind of meeting. She kept her head about her and tried to focus on any other errand she could run. She made a straight path for the bookstore, though a book was more than she could really afford on this day. Iris caught herself thinking again of the detective's large build and tailored suit, she stopped herself from waxing philosophical about the wings of gray in his hair, she must absolutely not allow that kind of thinking to worm its way into her mind. Iris knew it was too late, but she was always one to torture herself over such things. She was almost to the doors of the bookstore when she thought she heard her name. She turned around and couldn't help the brief smile that came with the recognition of her detective.

"Iris," he stepped closer to her "I thought that was you." he was smiling broadly and his eyes gave a bit of a twinkle, which Iris immediately found unsettling.

"You may call me Ms. Crowe, Detective." Iris said trying to sound as put off as possible. She would be damned if she would let him think any of this flirtation was going to work on her.

"I'm sorry Ms. Crowe, but please call me Jack, or at the least, Mr. Tiernan." he said stepping up onto the decking in front of the bookstore.

"Very well Mr. Tiernan, can I help you with something?" Iris asked coolly but very much hoping that she could.

"I was just thinking, it's a hot day and maybe you'd like to join me across the street for some ice tea or soda perhaps?" Iris looked across the street at the diner, then around the street looking for any of her brother's thugs or just some of the gossipy women from the camps that were a dime a dozen among the migrants that now flooded the town. Iris was still getting used to the fact that being Justin's sister now brought with it a kind of celebrity she'd never quite anticipated. "Maybe you'd feel more comfortable talking to me without that big brother of yours listening in." he added as incentive.

Iris cocked her eyebrow at him, realizing that he had seen more than she had on her own porch.

"I spent ten years as a detective for the San Francisco Police Department Ms. Crowe, it's not a charm school." he said with a slight tone of arrogance that Iris actually found quite attractive.

"Oh," Iris said stepping past him toward the diner "and you didn't know that he's my little brother?"

"Well," he said following on her heels, "not anymore."

Jack and Iris sat across from each other in one of the booths along the window of the diner. They sipped at their iced tea in tandem, each taking the other in. 

Jack took note of Iris's perfectly set auburn hair, under a velveteen hat. She was wearing lipstick but no other makeup, her face was shining from the heat. He figured she wasn't just a pious woman for show. It was obvious from the hat that she had vanity, but the lack of makeup showed she resisted the urge to care. But the lipstick also showed an all too human need to fit in. Jack wondered if she would reapply it when she finished her iced tea. She was his age, which wasn't normal for him, but she had a determined face, that didn't seem to betray her emotions easily, and an honest face was a rarity throughout his days. He found Iris in a word, refreshing. Though he was all too aware that her expressive features could belie something shameful. He knew better than to fall for a suspect. But then again, he wasn't looking for a murderer, he was looking for a mother.

Iris liked his plain face. He wasn't a Valentino by any means, but his ordinariness made him handsome, a strange antithesis to her brother. Equally tall and strongly built, with blue eyes, but his eyes weren't glaring or exotic like Justin's, rather they were open and inviting. His dark hair and pale complexion made him seem almost cherubic, where as Justin's strong features and light hair made him seem aloof and mysterious, keen and judgmental, always discerning. If anything Iris thought to herself that her brother would seem the more fitting detective, and the detective's almost sweet appearance more fitting for a priest. 

She could see the traces of detective work with the big city police force in the slight graying of his hair at the temples, and the slightly crooked line of his nose, it'd been broken before. Iris caught herself wondering if he had any tattoos underneath that tailored suit. She imagined he must be trouble, to maintain that almost naive facade despite his obviously rough work. Iris had read a detective novel or two. She found herself repressing the urge to ask him how realistic The Postman Always Rings Twice was. She wanted to know if he'd ever roughed anyone up, or been double-crosseed. Iris was suddenly self-concious about her appearance, imagining the more glamorous women he was probably used to speaking to.

"Perhaps I would better be able to help you Mr. Tiernan, if you could tell me who it is you're looking for." she finally said.

"Well," he said appraising her "I'm looking for a woman." Jack smiled at his double entendre.

"As you can see Mr. Tiernan," Iris smiled, "there are plenty of those around here."

"Yes," he said "that's true." He leaned in closer, his eyes twinkling again, "but this one is special." 

"Oh," Iris cocked her eyebrow, "tell me more Mr. Tiernan." She knew she shouldn't be playing this game, but there was something so earnest about her detctive, that she couldn't help justifying it to herself that a little flirtation was harmless.

"The woman I'm looking for would be about...well, she'd be in her late forties." he said, meeting Iris's gaze with a look that told her he had that much about her pinned, and it wouldn't be necessary for her to deny it.

"You have unusual tastes Mr. Tiernan." Iris fired back through a half laugh as she took another sip of her iced tea.

Jack smiled with a slight smirk, he was really beginning to like his little Iris. "She would have worked as a...domestic for the Dahlia's between say 1908 and 1910."

I'm afraid then Mr. Tiernan," Iris set her glass down, getting more serious, "that you have your work cut out for you."

"Is that so?" he said, setting his glass down and leaning in more closely to Iris.

"The Dahlia's had a hard time retaining staff you see." she said, looking him directly in the eye. She looked down at the table for a moment before finishing her thought, "Especially female staff." She met his eyes again, all flirtation and glisten gone.

"I see," Jack said, well versed in this kind of innuendo, "I think I understand, young mai..domestics, a wealthy man."

"Some people think that money entitles them to all kinds of sin Mr. Tiernan," she smiled falsely at him, and he quickly memorzied every detail of that expression on her face for later reference, he didn't like it all. It was grotesque on her. "But of course, in your line of work, I'm sure you already understand that."

Jack lifted his eyebrows and laid both of his hands down on the table in a show of complete honesty. "Unfortunately, I do."

"Money is one of the first ways Satan tempts us to sin." she said, delivering a platitude she knew so well she seldom actually pondered its meaning. Yet looking into his eyes she found herself thinking of the lit match she dropped on the floor of the ministry and the way the Templeton's check had felt in her hands mere weeks later. A wave of guilt rode through her and she fought to keep it from crashing over her features for the detective to see.

"I've found that Satan rarely needs to get involved Ms. Crowe." Jack said, tilting his head in an attempt to get a better angle into Iris's face as she bowed her head. Her head shot up and her eyebrows lifted, questioning his logic.

"I just mean that poeple seem to do a good job of finding sin on thier own." he explaned. He smiled at her, trying to lighten the mood that was threatening to take over their conversation. 

Iris changed the subject for him, "I imagine they gave you my name because I was the employee they retained the longest."

"Yes," Jack said, "Dr. Dahlia was insistent that I direct all questions to you."

"I suppose I became the gatekeeper there, remembering everyone." she said, sipping at her iced tea and letting her eyes begin to wander around the diner, trying to casually apprehend whether or not anyone was listening in.

Jack picked up on her sudden discomfort, "Maybe we could take a walk to finish this particular discussion." He leaned in closer to her, "We wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea about the kind of woman Justin Crowe's sister is."

"You read my mind Mr. Tiernan," Iris smiled conpiratorially at Jack, "A walk sounds like a wonderful idea, you could escort me to my car."

Jack signaled the waitress. She walked over to the table, sizing up Jack and Iris. Iris smiled up boldy at the waitress, "Could we have the check please, dear?"

"Cook says it's on the house for you Ms. Crowe." she said before turning to Jack. "I say it's on the house for you Jack." The young woman smiled widely at Jack before turning toward Iris. She let her see the slight look of derision on her normally sweet features before walking off. The waitress was showing Iris she was a younger, more suitable mate for the detective. If they aren't already mates, Iris thought to herself. Jack noted the way that Iris took the girl's look without flinching, that she was inured to this type of humiliation.

"She likes you." Iris said plainly as they got up from the table. Jack smiled at her, offering his arm. 

Jack leaned down and whispered into her ear, "She's a little too young for me." He chuckled as he lifted his head again and said in a more normal tone of voice as they walked out, "Already jealous over iced tea, I've seen men come to ruin over much less."

"I saw several girls through that house." Iris stated matter-of-factly as they headed toward her car. "I had my suspicions about a few, but they never said anything to me."

"And why was it you left druing that time Ms. Crow?" he asked maneuvering her around a pot hole.

"My brother was cloistered in seminary during the first year, after that he was allowed to keep his own residence and begin working at a congregation. I came to help him so he could focus on his studies."

They reached Iris's car and Jack opened the door for her. "In these towns you never lock your doors." he laughed. "So what about Rose, why did she leave?"

Iris looked up into his face, "Can I be frank with you Mr. Tiernan?"

"Please."

"Dr. Dahlia never tried anything with me, I imagine because I was Reverend Balthus's daughter."

"Oh, I imagine it was more than that Ms. Crowe." he looked at her with tenderness, almost, "There's something about you that strikes me as being very...forthright."

"Whatever it was, me and Rose were very close, and I think that kept her safe from a lot of things. She wasn't necessarily practical. She was more sensitive than others."

"So you think something happened then," he said, "after you left?"

Iris stepped into her car, settling behind the steering wheel. "All I know is that I called for her a few weeks after I arrived in St. Paul and she was gone." 

Iris shut the door and Jack leaned into the window. "Thank you so much for your time Ms.Crowe." he said, a tension playing across his face.

"Yes Mr. Tiernan? Is there something else?" Iris said, dropping her hands into her lap and looking up at him. 

He smiled at her unapologetically, "I really like you Ms. Crowe." He studied her for a moment. "You're very...austere." he finally said.

Iris smiled and fought back a laugh. "Is this how you conduct all of your investigations Mr. Tiernan?"

He laughed without looking away from her. "No."

In that moment something changed for Iris, though she wasn't quite sure what is was. "Good day Mr. Tiernan." she said, starting up her car.

"Good day, Iris." he said before turning around and heading back toward the diner. She didn't bother to correct him, instead she watched him walk for a moment before driving away.  
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	5. Chapter 5

Jack knocked on the screen door, he could hear a radio playing inside. A man appeared behind the screen, he was a grizzled ghost of the blonde boy from the picture he had shown Iris, his light blonde hair was gray and sticking up in tufts now though. The features were the same, but as the man opened the screen door Jack saw a long tangled scar running down the man's cheek under his left eye, the lid of which looked as though the flesh had been soldered half shut. As the man searched Jack's face he realized the left eye didn't move, it was glass. The man had a strong build for his age, and his biceps were a dark tan against the white undershirt he was wearing.

"Can I help you?" he said, his voice was incongruously gentle to his appearance.

"Yes, I'm looking for Abel Winslow." he smiled. "I'm jack Tiernan, I'm a private investigator."

"I don't have anything to say to you." the man said, closing his screen door.

"Sir," Jack grabbed the screen door, laughing, "I'm really not here to cause you any trouble."

"Well, you already have." the man said. "Please sir, I'm just trying to help someone locate a relative."

"All my relatives are accounted for." the man said, giving Jack a window.

"I'm actually looking for a woman that you may have know when you worked for the Dahlias''"

"The Dahlias' huh?" The man stopped.

"So you are Abel Winslow I take it?"

"Yeah, that's me. I remember the Dahlias'. " He looked at Jack for a long moment. "Come on in," Abel said with a resigned register to his voice as he opened up the screen door again.

Jack followed him into the dark one room shack. The place was surprisingly tidy for someone Jack figured to still be quite blue collar, and with that eye, most likely never to see any kind of indoor or skilled labor. It was kept in the standard of most men, neat, but not necessarily clean. There was a decent layer of dust on everything, and the walls needed a good painting. Jack had never understood how people could live this way. He supposed that in all of his years working crime scenes he'd come to appreciate real cleanliness.

Able sat down at his kitchen table which seemed to also serve as a coffee table and nightstand. "You know if you really want to know about the Dahlias', the person to talk to would be Iris Crowe."

"Actually I was hoping to talk to you about Ms. Crowe."

Abel looked at him suspiciously. "Now I know can' t no family can be looking for Ms. Crowe. Her and her brother were orphaned when they was kids. The lady that raised her died a few years back and her daddy, the reverend who rescued them, was killed in the riots up at that religous camp they got up there but a month ago. She don't got no family except that brother of hers."

"So you and Ms. Crowe were close then?" Jack continued as he sat down across from Abel.

"I guess you could say that." Abel said.

"What could you tell me about her then?"

"She was a real harder work, devoted to that brother of hers. She was a real good girl. Always kept her seams straight. I fancied her for awhile. She had that red hiar," he smiled and nodded his head breifly, "and the attitude." He laughed. "She was an onory little thing."

Jack smiled, "She's still got it."

"So you've already talked to her then?" Abel asked looking up at Jack like he'd just been taken in.

"Yes." Jack said, "she gave me your name. It's alright." Jack tried to smile as genuinely as possible at the conflicted creature before him. He could tell the man wanted to help someone, most people wanted to help someone find a lost loved one, especially people like him that lived alone.

"Well, nothing came of it, but I was still real sad when she left." he finally said.

"What can you tell me about Rose?"

"She was a real looker, long blonde hair, pretty brown eyes. Her and Iris were inseparable...till the end anyway." his voice trailed off and he looked down at the table, remembering something.

Jack leaned forward as if he was trying to get a look at the same spot on the table. "How'd you mean?"

"Well, Iris was, as the lady of the house used to say, the workhorse, so she started to get priveleges, you know..." he looked up at Jack.

"Sure." Jack said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Iris deserved all of it." Abel looked at Jack more aggressively.

"Absolutely." Jack agreed, trying to sound as earnest as his belief that Iris did indeed, deserve such things.

"Anyway, I think Rose started to get jealous that Iris was getting things and she wasn't."

"How so?" Jack asked.

Abel leaned back in his chair stroking his chin. After a long silence he started, "Well, this one time the Dahlias left unexpectedly for a funeral up in Oregon, and we had the place to ourselves. " Abel looked at Jack sharply again. "We were young kids, so we decided to have a little fun."

"Sure," Jack smiled trying to keep Abel talking.

"So we sneak into the liquor cabinet. We talk Iris into unlocking the humidor. We were, all the boys anyway, that's what they used to call us, the boys, cause we were a few years younger than them. We're drinking and smoking, and someone says the flower girls, that's how we teased them back, we say they should be in dresses. So they sneak into Mrs. Dhalia's closet and they're wearing her dresses." Abel looked at Jack, assessing his take on the story so far.

"I understand," Jack reassured him quickly, "a little harmless fun while the Lord and Lady were galavanting around the countryside." Jack leaned his elbow on the table and rested his chin hin his hand. "Please, continue."

"So, we were just kids wanting a taste of the life you know? All that time catering to those folks." he stopped and smiled at the memory for a moment. "Me and Iris even danced." he laughed, "I'll always remember that. She looked like a real lady, real...regal."

"Sounds like a wonderful memory." Jack said, picturing the Iris he knew in an ornate dress like the ones he saw in the windows of the shops that lined Fillmore Avenue back home in San Fransisco.

"Iris's brother was in town visiting after he'd been away all year. Anyway the Dahlias had said Iris couldn't go home while they were away. But they were gonna be gone all week and that's how long her brother was going to be home." Abel shook his head reliving the unfairness of that edict. "We told her she could go visit him that night. She had to be back by morning because the Dahlias would call to talk to her, and we knew if she was seen coming or going during the day, the Lady's friends would tell on Iris." Abel laughed ruefully to himself, "They were those kind of people, we knew they were going to send people to call every day, just to make sure Iris didn't leave. Or the Lady of the house was that way anyway."

"Iris mentioned that the Dahlias weren't easy to work for." Jack offered hoping to keep the story going.

"I'm surprised you got her to admit that much." Abel said, "She was always such a good girl, never one to complain. The only time I ever really saw her get upset over the Dahlias was when she wasn't going to be able to see her brother, that's why we all agreed to help her out."

"So what happend with her and Rose?" Jack tried to keep Abel on track toward with it was he really wanted to know.

"Well it was time to go, and Iris and Rose went upstairs to put Mrs. Dahlia's things away, and they're taking a really long time, and I'm supposed to be walking Iris over to her family's house to meet her brother." Abel stopped again, and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and slowly lit one. He took a drag and exhaled, coughing. "The doctor says I got to take it easy on my lungs." he smiled. "So anyway, I know Iris is drunk and I'm sure tonight I might at least be able to get a kiss out of her." He coughed again. "I was young."

"Hey man, I've been there." Jack laughed, though he was referring to the present tense. He couldn't help but imagine kissing Iris midsentence, taking her by surprise, if such a thing would be possible. He tried to check himself with this attraction, but it was too late, and he knew it.

"Well I get up there and they're fighting. Rose was saying something about how Iris thought she was special because of all the priveleges she was getting, but that she would see, that one day all of this stuff was going to be Rose's." Abel ashed his cigarette. "I don't know something like that, idle peasant girl talk." Abel looked forlorn as he took another drag of his cigarette, "You know they all think Prince Charming is right around the corner."

"Yeah." Jack said dropping his hands onto the table.

"And you know what?" Abel leaned in close to Jack, "I wish there was one for each and every girl out there. I ain't like most guys. My mother, my sisters, spent their whole lives scrubbing floors. All the same, makes it hard on guys like us to compete." Abel leaned back in his chair.

"Don't I know it." Jack offered, "I chased down enough dead beat husbands that promised the world to some young girl, only to turn out to be a total fraud, gone after a few months."

"So I walk Iris home, but I don't get the kiss, she's way too drunk. Her brother' s waiting. Not to happy with me." Abel put out his cigarette. "Couldn't a been more than eighteen or nineteen, but he was already bigger than me and looking like a real gentleman. All that schooling had already grown him up, and he was her brother to boot." Abel smiled knowingly at Jack, "Even back then, I knew better than to mess with that. So I just delivered her into his arms and explained that her and a girlfriend had too much to drink on account of Iris was really excited to see him."

"So it was shortly after that Iris left?" Jack tried to keep the information coming.

"Yeah, shortly, well...maybe six months later. Iris left. Didn't really say goodbye or anything. Rose didn't seem too sad about it except..." Abel stopped, frowning to himself. "Well one night Rose gets this call , it's only a few seconds long. I hear her saying to come back , that they'll fix everything, then she hangs up." Abel pulled another cigarette out and lit it. "Rose tells me she thinks Iris might be in trouble." Abel took a few drags. "I like Iris so I ask her what kind of trouble, she says she doesn' t know, then just kind of drops it. A few weeks later Rose is gone."

"Wait, so Rose actually took a call from Iris after she'd moved to St. Paul?" Jack asked letting the surprise rise too high in his voice.

"Yeah," Abel said, leaning in, waitng for Jack to tell him the significance of this fact. "Does that help at all?"

"I'm not really sure." Jack said, trying not to tip his hat any further.

"I understand there were a lot of girls in and out of the house?" Jack said pulling out a pad and paper , hoping to take down some names.

"No." Able said frowning, "Just Iris and Rose the years I was there, and I got hired on the same time as Iris." He looked up at Jack, "Where'd you hear that?"

"Oh, just town gossip." Jack smiled, trying not to show the little crack that had just formed in his image of Iris. "Always good to straighten things out."

"Sure," Abel said, looking thoroughly unconvinced. "You know, I think I've said enough." Abel stood up, signalling Jack that he had ridden his luck as far as it was going to go.

"Uh, yeah," Jack said getting up and beginning to head for the door, with Abel right behind him, "Thank you for your time Mr. Winslow." As Jack stepped across the threshold he decided to roll the dice one more time. "You don't think Iris or Rose were pregnant when they left the Dahlia employ do you?" Jack asked, trying to communicate his good will as best he could through his eyes.

Abel looked at him for a moment before letting out a breath. "Not that I could tell Mr. Tiernan, but women can be good at hiding that kind of thing."

Jack turned and headed for his car.

"You know," Abel shouted after him.

"Yeah?" Jack turned around, squinting into the sun.

"I don't know who the daddy would have been," he said, "but then again," he brought his finger up to his eye and dragged it down the scar along his left cheek, "love makes people do all kinds of unimaginable things."

Jack took in the man before him for a few more seconds before turning back around and heading for his car. Jack sat behind the steering wheel thinking, trying to figure out why Iris lied about the other girls, if she was protecting herself or Rose. There was a loud smack on his window and Jack jumped. He looked over and Abel was staring back at him. Jack rolled down his window.

"You know Iris always talked about following her brother and what not, but Rose used to talk about moving to Hollywood. You know she was a real dreamer like that. I imagine Iris already told you that though. I don't know if that helps." He stood there open mouthed, his one eye glittering and moving over Jack's face, the other fixed on nothing in particular.

"Thanks, that's a great help." Jack reassured the man.

"You know, now that I think about it. I did see Iris one time a few years after she left, her and her brother had just moved back into Mintern. There was something a little different about her." Abel stopped for a minute looking off into the distance before returning his gaze to Jack and lifting his eyebrows, "Could have been motherhood." 


	6. Chapter 6

Jack decided that Coreen Templeton looked rather like a hermit crab tucked snugly into the deck chair she was sitting in, her coral dress fit snugly around her rotund figure and the rapid pace at which she was fanning herself gave her arms the appearance of antennae or eyestalks waving over her crossed legs, which pressed together could form the large cheliped of the gastropods he became all too familiar with in his time pulling bodies out of the San Francisco Bay when he was still on the police force. He smiled at her giving a little wink, she fanned herself more vigorously, blushing slightly. Jack turned his attention back to the game of croquet taking place behind him. Val Templeton was sweating in the afternoon sun in his high buttoned shirt and suspenders. The yellow bow tie he was wearing merely accentuated the utter roundness of his head, and begged any passerby to loosen it just a bit so that some of the blood could flow back to the body. Sweat was actually forming droplets across Val's bright pink complexion as he narrowed his eyes at the distance between his ball and the thin wire hoop plunged deep into the bright green lawn. 

Jack looked across the small obstacle course at Iris standing next to her brother. She was wearing a blue dress that lifted ever so slightly at the hem when she lifted her hand up to shade her eyes from the sun as she looked out over the camps for what Jack counted to be the fourteenth time in the last hour. Jack found the little flashes of garter belt just under her knees exciting enough in its own odd way to keep him from being annoyed at the tedious routine of looking and waiting that Iris seemed to be stuck in as the men focused intently on the game at hand. Jack studied Iris's profile as she stared out across the tents and swarming people down below, he liked the squint that her features took on when she was concentrating, it was his favorite expression in her repertoire he decided as he waited for his turn. He followed the shade of her hand down her neck and the freckles that teased at him from the collar of her dress, he wanted to wander even further into that dress and see if her breasts were equally spotted, or milky white and pale, you never knew with a red head quite what you were going to get. Jack let his eyes walk along the white collar of her dress as it circled back around to her neck, where whisps of auburn curl were dancing in the breeze, he traveled up to the smirking pout of her lips, he wondered if there was a smattering of freckles on her lower lip under the dark rouge of her lipstick. 

Jack continued his visual tour of Iris's body, moving up to take in the squint of her eyes, and was stopped abruptly by her icy blue gaze as she narrowed her eyes on him. He'd been caught. Iris simply moved her eyes up and down Jack's frame and cocked an eyebrow, tilting her head back ever so slightly so she could look at him with the exact degree of derision required of her virtue. Jack held his gaze and smiled to let her know that he approved of what he saw, but not enough to imply that he thought she cared for a second what his appraisal of her figure was. Jack found flirting to be one of his favorite social activities, it was an art and you could never spend enough time assessing strategies and implementing tactical maneuvers. He realized this was one of the reasons he found himself so attracted to Iris Crowe, she was smart and he was sure that there wasn't a single thing that she didn't see. Jack had to keep reminding himself that Iris had already looked him in the eye and lied to him twice, but he found himself willing to forgive her if he might get to press his mouth against her neck by the end of the day, Jack shook the thought from his head. She was trouble, and more than likely she was the woman he was looking for. Not that having given birth to a bastard twenty something years ago made her unappealing to him, but he knew that the drama that always ensues after such revelations would preclude much romance between the two of them. 

Jack broke his gaze from Iris after a few moments so as not to come off as overbearing and settled on Justin Crowe. Justin was staring straight at Jack, he'd been caught twice in less than five minutes. Jack made a note to himself that he must always be aware of where Justin was in proximity to his sister. Justin was wearing his cassock from the Sunday service still and Jack allowed himself a private chuckle at the slight ridiculousness of a long black robe in the middle of shining green grass and open cerulean blue sky all around them. Justin just looked rather dour in the middle of their game of croquet, come to think of it Jack thought, Justin looked downright Old Testament gently swinging his croquet mallet as he stood tall over his sister in his vestments, glaring down across the distraction of brightly colored balls and wire hoops at their feet. Realizing this second layer of humor in the situation was almost enough to push an audible chuckle out of Jack. Here were two burly men, Jack refused to count Val Templeton among them, in their respective uniforms glaring at each other over a game of croquet, a game for little girls in Easter gowns or people who take tea and actually use parasols. 

Jack had to admit he was a little offput by the sheer size of Justin, it was very rare that Jack came across another man built like him. Jack was a little more than used to commanding a room by simply walking into it. Perhaps that was another reason that Iris intrigued him, years with her brother, himself well over six feet tall and large, had immunized her to the kind of physical feminine frailty Jack tended to despise in women. Jack watched as Justin leaned down toward Iris, whispering something into her ear, placing his hand along her lower back and smiling, he felt his own hand twitching with the desire to be that close to Iris again. Jack kicked himself mentally again for not getting in a few more touches when he was walking Iris to her car a few days before. Jack reminded himself to keep his eyes moving and he looked over at Val Templeton standing next to his wife's chair, dabbing at his forehead with a handkerchief while she fanned him unenthusiastically with her fan, two sweeps toward him for every four toward herself. 

Jack looked back toward Justin and Iris, Iris cast a look toward the Templetons and then back at Jack and smiled. Templeton waved at Iris reminding her that it was her turn and she quickly ambled up to the course, positioning herself over her ball with her back to Jack, and he didn't waist any time trying to discern the exact shape of her hips under the blue fabric of her dress as she bent over slightly poising the helve of her mallet to strike as she turned her head and attempted to line the trajectory of her ball with the arrangement of hoops. Then Iris stopped and stood up straight, leaning over her shoulder to look at Jack, "What exactly am I aiming for again?" she asked in a tone of genuine confusion, which she punctuated with a knowing smirk in his direction. 

"Well," Jack said, walking up behind Iris and allowing his hand to graze every so lightly across her back, "you're trying to get your ball through that series of hoops." Jack pointed toward the curving series of hoops. "Also, you might want to try and knock your opponents out of the way, so you can get to the goal first." Iris looked at him putting on an appearance of utter confusion that turned Jack on to no end, not the stupidity of course, but the absolute gaul with which she was putting on a show, and how well she was doing it. "It's kind of like billiards Ms.Crowe," he said, "you want to try and predict the trajectory your ball is going to take after it strikes your opponent's." Iris looked at him blankly. "Here, Ms. Crowe, let me show you." Jack wrapped himself around Iris, allowing himself the briefest of intakes of her hair as he reached his arms around and laid them along hers, covering her hands along the handle of her mallet. He turned his face into her hair and whispered in her ear, "Just let me use your body to do it." Jack felt Iris relax underneath him surrendering control of the mallet. Jack brought the mallet back and tapped Iris's ball at skewed angle. 

Iris giggled like a little girl as her ball rolled smoothly through two of the hoops. Jack let his lips rest on the back of her neck for a split second before unwrapping himself from her body, as he slipped his hands away from hers she squeezed at his fingers, and it sent a spark through his whole body. Justin was still gently swinging his mallet in his hand, but he was more insistent now, and Jack knew he was merely acclimating himself to its exact weight and heft should he decide to swing it at Jack's head. Justin walked briskly to his ball behind Jack's, calculating force, angle and trajectory between his mallet, his ball, and the other balls in play in a few short moments before pulling back his mallet and taking his swing. Jack was sure that Justin's quick temper was going to cost him this game. Justin smiled smugly at the loud crack as his ball knocked Jack's out of play. He turned quickly, making the skirt of his cassock flourish slightly in the breeze, "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Tiernan." He walked up to Iris and put his arm around her shoulder gruffly, "I guess your out of play for awhile."

Man of God or no, Jack didn't like Justin Crowe. "That's quite alright Mr. Crowe." Jack smiled, "I've got Coreen to keep me company while the three of you work it out."

"Oh yes Detective," Coreen gushed, "do come have a seat and tell me all about this case that Iris is helping you with."

"It would be my pleasure my dear," Jack cooed back at her, casting a look at Iris who was nearly swallowing her lips to stifle her laughter, before turning his back on the croquet game and heading toward the hermit crab waving him in to her murky cove in the dark shade of the trees.

Jack sat across the low table from Coreen in a matching deck chair, which managed to leave his large frame more breathing room that hers.

"Don't be discouraged Jack," Coreen said smiling at him, "it's just since Tommy Dolan, well, Justin is very protective of his sister."

"Oh, I'm not discouraged in the slightest." Jack said grinning widely.

"Good, Jack, because I do love train wreck." Coreen said whistfully, leaning back into her chair as much as was possible.

"Excuse me?" Jack said craning his head to look at her.

She laughed heartily, "Oh, come on Jack, you heard me. The two of you, it reads like disaster."

"And what happened to the sweet woman who wanted to hear all about the case I'm working on with Iris?" Jack asked genuinely confused.

"Oh, she's right here Jack. I'm sweet, but I'm not stupid."

"I feel like I don't know you in the slightest." Jack said shaking his head, unsure of whether to laugh or walk away while he was still relatively unscathed.

"Listen Jack, you've got the town gossip at your disposal here for only the most fleeting of moments." Coreen smiled at him coyly, "Now why don't you ask me about something you really want to know about."

Jack regained his composure realizing that Coreen obviously liked him more than she did anyone else on the lawn, and that it was in his best interest to take advantage of that fact. "What can you tell me about the Dahlias?" Jack asked dropping all pretense, and speaking plainly to her the way he would an informant.

"Which incarnation of the Dahlias would that be Jack?" They both leaned back in there chairs, not looking at each other, but watching as Justin, Iris, and Val took turns swinging their mallets and chasing their balls through the grass. Iris reached up and fidgeted with the collar of Justin's robe. He grabbed her hands and pushed them away, before beginning to unbotton his robe, he took it off and hung it across the branch of a nearby tree, walking back to reveal blindingly white shirtsleeves.

"Well, I've been trying to locate someone that would have worked there between 1908 and 1910. They don't have employee records for that far back. They directed me to Iris, they said she might be able to remember names and faces. Dr. Dahlia is quite advanced in years now."

Iris was prairie dogging again, looking out over the camps, her hand shading her eyes. Her whole body was stretching up. Jack caught himself looking towards the camps as well, trying to see whatever it was that she was looking at. All he could see was swarms and swirls of people moving about, and the shining white canvas flaps of tents.

"I can tell you why there aren't any employee records, and just so you know Jack, Dr. Dahlia's faculties are not the reason he can't remember names and dates. The man is sharp as a tack, his daughter told me so." Coreen put her fan over her face as though the croquet players might be able to read her lips as she leaned across the table. "The first Mrs. Dahlia, the one that was around back then, she left Dr. Dahlia after she found out he'd been paying one of the maids for certain services, and the poor girl had gotten pregnant. Turns out that she wanted even more money, and the whole thing blew up in the poor girl's face. I imagine that Mrs. Dahlia destroyed any records she could get her hands on to avoid the humiliation, and of course the pay out." Coreen went back to fanning herself mildly, smirking at Jack.

"I don't understand, what kind of payout?" Jack asked.

"Well for some bastard of course. She wouldn't want any other children dipping into her finances. It's a hard world out there Jack, especailly for a woman without a decent man to rely on." She batted her eyelashes mockingly at Jack.

"And just where did you hear all of this gossip?"

"My mother." she said very primly.

Jack frowned slightly, not quite understanding.

"Just before I married Val my mother sat me down and explained to me about poor Mrs. Dahlia. Let that be a lesson to a woman, never hire young pretty girls to do the cooking and cleaning, its only a matter of time before they're doing the marrying and breeding. That was how she put it." Coreen raised her eyebrows at Jack unapologetically. "Oh please Jack, in your line of work you haven't learned yet that life isn't fair?"

"Of course I've learned that Coreen, but really, you should at least try to have a heart." he said contorting he face into a mild grimace of disgust.

Iris's hair was falling down and Justin picked something up off the ground. He presented it to Iris and she grabbed at her hair, exasperated. Jack watched as Justin stood behind Iris dutifully tucking the hair back into place, and sliding what must have been one of her hair pins back into place. She turned to Val, he seemed to be sizing her up, he nodded at her affirmatively, that Justin had fixed her hair well enough and they went back to playing.

"Don't you go feeling sorry for those little guttersnipes, they would trade me places in an instant without a second thought to putting me out on my oversized posterior." Coreen said half laughing.

"Can you tell me anything else about the pregnant maid?"

"Me, no. But I wonder if Iris might?" she looked at Jack like a sly fox. "What do you think Jack?"

Jack looked over at her bristling slightly at the implication, but knowing that it could very well be true. He relaxed his features and smlied weakly at her before turning his attention back to Iris and her brother in the center of the shining verdure all around them, leaning on each other as they watched Val take a shot. Iris looked over her shoulder at Jack smiling. Jack smiled back at her.

"One thing I've learned about people is that you never really know them." Jack said, catching himself waxing philisophical but deciding to finish the thought anyway. "You might think you do, but you don't. I don't think anything would surprise me anymore. Though I never stop hoping."

Justin, Iris, and Val started heading back toward Coreen and Jack at the table. Iris was laughing and talking to Val, he was watching the ground in front of him and it looked as though he was trying to stifle his own laughter. Iris looked up toward the sky and began moving her arms up and down in an exaggerated motion. Justin grabbed her arm suddenly and moved her out of the way of something on the ground in front of them. Jack sat up as they approached the table. Val came up to Coreen and kissed her on the cheek. "I hope my wife was good company for you Jack."

"Oh, most certainly Val." Jack responded perhaps too enthusiastically he thought.

"I'm going to run inside and freshen up dear." Val said to Coreen before jaunting off toward the house. Iris and Justin were still a good twenty feet away. Iris was examining the back seam of Justin's shirt, trying to see how far a loose thread had unravelled it seemed.

"It's too bad our time is up Jack." Coreen whispered. "You should have asked me about that."

Iris sat on the edge of her bed letting herself get lost in the patterns endlessly turning in her rug, the sound of Rose's voice, the laughter of children from down in the camps, the feeling of Sofie's hair against her cheek, the feel of Jack's kiss against the back of her neck that afternoon, they all came together and infused each other. All the sensations of her life diffused into the air around her, the spaces in her head that she could never quite seem to clear. She recalled again the sound of the match as she struck it and a wave of sadness crashed over her. She didn't want to chase it away, she tried to focus on it to make it grow into something big enough to overtake her so that perhaps should could finally feel something about it, and begin to repair. She was tired of feeling like a wicked thing, she wanted to feel broken. Iris walked over to her dresser and opened the drawer full of fragments of her broken mirror. She ran her thumb across the jagged edge of one of the shards, before deciding that the summer months would make hiding the cuts more difficult. Iris walked back to her bed and perched on its edge again, with no idea what to do with herself and her weird grieving.

"We don't have another Tommy Dolan on our hands do we?" Justin said from Iris's doorway. Iris looked up startled.

"What do you mean?" Iris said, tilting her head.

Justin walked across the threshold into Iris's room and sat down next to her on the bed. "I mean, some outsider, coming in to stir up trouble."

"Justin," Iris said, exhaling deeply "you were the one that brought Tommy in to stir up trouble in the first place."

"No Iris," Justin protested, "he came to suspect you all on his own. It perhaps wouldn't have been a problem if you hadn't put him in the position to get rejected in the first place."

"Justin I don't even want to talk about this, why revisit old wounds?" Iris got up from the bed and began pacing around her room, worrying the chain of her necklace like a rosary.

"No, Iris, let's talk about this." Justin said raising his voice, staring up at his sister from her bed as she paced back and forth in front of him. He reached out and grabbed Iris's arm, stopping her. "This is the root of all our problems isn't it? This whole business with Tommy."

Iris looked down into Justin's eyes, "The root of all of our problems, goes much, much deeper than Tommy Dolan."

Justin stood up so that he towered over her again, "What did I do to you?" He pushed himself into her space, "What did I ever do but love you and save you?"

Iris met his look, setting her jaw into a stern expression of defiance. "How can you look at me and say that, all of your petty torments?" She pushed her self up into his face as she continued, "You know exactly what is that you've done...that you do Justin."

Justin grabbed Iris and pulled her to him hard, "You're the one who set the fire, don't forget that!" he said in a heated whisper, punctauting each syllable with a tightening of his grip.

"If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have any of this." Iris growled back, "Look around you, I earned it on my hands and knees, I earned it with my soul, so that you could have everything you see before you." Justin pushed Iris away from him. She found herself backing away, unsure of what emotions she had just inspired in her brother, but still burning with her own anger too keenly to think clearly.

"You don't think that anything you do is wrong Iris," Justin said calmly, almost smiling at Iris as she smoldered against her bedroom wall, "your hubris astounds me at times." Justin walked over to Iris placing an arm on either side of her so she couldn't escape. "This detective is up to something, what is it?"

"He's just looking for someone." Iris focused her eyes down.

"If he was just looking for something then why does he keep coming around?" Justin pressed in on Iris more.

"I don't know Justin," she said bringing her head up but keeping her eyes closed, "maybe he's interested in me." she said, opening her eyes and rolling her head to the side, training her eyes on the opposite wall.

"I love you Iris," Justin's voice was clear and calm, "I won't watch someone take you away from me." he wasn't making a threat but rather what sounded almost like a plea. "Is there anything in your past, anything I don't know about?"

Iris returned her gaze to Justin, looking him straight in the eye. "No, Justin." she said, "There are no secrets between us."

Justin knit his fingers into Iris's hair and pulled her face to his, kissing her forehead. "I want to believe you." he mumbled into her hair, "I want to trust you." 


	7. Chapter 7

Iris woke up early, there was still a chill on the bedroom window over her bed, she reached up and touched it, making little circles. Her and Rose had hated the winters, even in Mintern. Iris had thought of Rose many times in St. Paul, wondering how she would fare in the snow, wanting to make a joke to someone/no one next to her, before realizing that Rose was gone forever. Iris hadn't realized how deeply connected she was to her until such a great distance separated them. It seemed odd to her that there was baby and somehow they weren't both a part of it. They were supposed to be there to comfort each other through those things, the first inklings of love were to be whispered into each other's pillows, their daughters were to be named after each other, their sons to have the names of the men they, and only they, knew they had really wanted to marry. 

Iris recalled the morning the two of them had been hanging sheets together in the backyard when Rose had asked her about Justin.

"Why is it you're so devoted to that boy anyway?" she'd laughed, as they balanced the sheet on the line together securing it with pins.

"He's my brother Rose, he has to do well, it's the most important thing." she'd responded, but then Rose had become more cross.

"He doesn't appreciate anything that you do for him Iris."

"He's young Rose, he will eventually, and that's all that matters."

Iris had laughed at her friend when she saw that she actually seemed angry with her for choosing to put her brother through school. "Why are you getting so upset?" 

"Because Iris," she'd said, ripping the sheet out of Iris's hand and throwing it back in the basket, "you're throwing your life away and I care about you."

Iris had laughed at Rose standing there, getting red in the face and so sincere, especially about her future, which was so obviously unimportant in the scheme of things. She was after all merely a maid, and a foundling at that. But then she saw a tear forming in Rose's eye, and Iris realized that whatever it was that Rose thought was going wrong, she was serious. "Justin is meant for great things, I was meant to bear the brunt of things, that's just the way of the world Rose. We can't all be selfish all the time. Someone has to have the job of being practical, and that's me."

"What'll you do when he gets married or something Iris? Where'll you be then?" Rose had said, trying to hang another sheet by herself, but she was being too forceful, continually catching it before it slid to the ground. 

"Well, I suppose then I'll be able to get on with my life Rose." She'd smiled at Rose trying hard to show her that she appreciated her concern, but that she did indeed plan on having her own life someday.

Iris laughed to herself as she surveyed her room. A memory of a gray bedroom in the early morning and a hand cupping her breast flickered briefly through her mind and Iris felt a pang of great shame move through her whole body. She realized how utterly stupid it was of her to indulge in the fantasy of Jack Tiernan being some kind of white knight. Iris knew she was well past her prime, and she never fooled herself that she was destined to be anything but alone, and really the thought didn't bother her so much. But now that she was growing more and more isolated from the world she missed that she had not had someone with her, to remember her own private life with. Who else was there to miss Rose? Who else to lament the baby? Who else for any of it. Days like this the loneliness was harder to bear than the memories themselves. Iris put on her slip and went fishing in the closet for a dress to wear, but nothing seemed appealing to her, she had no idea where the day was going to take her and she realized that it was going to be one of those days, the ones where she found herself in a funk that she couldn't get out of, when she questioned the purpose of even the most menial of tasks. Iris knew that no one was awake yet anyway, so she went downstairs without bothering to even grab her robe. It was cold, but she kind of enjoyed the discomfort. Iris moved through the kitchen but realized she wasn't really hungry. She moved into the living room and settled on the couch looking out onto the yard. The sun was slowly rising and the windows were clearing. 

Iris recalled the first winter she'd spent in St. Paul, staring out of the one window in Justin's flat watching people bustle down the streets, a strange sick feeling rising up in her stomach as she wondered if any of them were keeping secrets too, but fearing that she was entirely alone. She used to fill the hours writing long letters of confession to Norman, to her mother Rose, to Rose who she would never see again, to Justin even, explaining everything that she had done, everything that she was doing. She would articulate every imperfection of her soul, until the morning hours had burned away most of her guilt, and shame. She never fully lost the feeling of being filthy, at least back then, but she didn't write those letters anymore, and Iris considered that progress. That she had accepted what she was, what it was her destiny to be. It made it easier some days to look back and realize that every single thing in the universe had been aligned for this moment now, where she laid on the couch barefoot and in a slip with the curtains wide open, and sleep finally returning to her. She noted blissfully that she didn't really care much what happened to her anymore. She was sure she would feel differently when she woke to find Sofie or Justin tiptoeing around her. She let her eyes shut and tried to daydream into real dreaming.

When she'd first moved to St. Paul she had recurrent nightmares that she was in a nursery with a crying baby, but she couldn't manage to get to the top of the crib and see over the edge of it. Through the entire dream she would be clawing frantically between the wooden slats of its sides, trying to pull the blankets away from the bundled baby inside of it, so she might get a glimpse of it, and some how soothe its incessant screams. Screams that pulled at her guts as she stood by. The dream would always end the same way: she would have finally managed to stack a chair on top of a toy box and climbed onto them so she could finally see down into the crib, to see her baby. And just as she would look over the the sides of the crib, the baby would turn into a hideously deformed monster.

Iris would wake up screaming and usually Justin would be there trying to comfort her, but the dream would have so terrified her of his touches that she would actually punch and kick at him until he retreated from her bed. After awhile Justin stopped coming into her room when she woke up screaming about her baby. It was a strange feeling of relief and hurt when she woke screaming into an empty room. It wasn't until a few weeks later that Iris had heard Justin outside of her door amidst the phantasmagoria of dreams and hazy predawn murk and shadow in her room. She realized he was sitting outside of her door. She had crept to the door listening to him listening to her. The dreams never fully subsided until they were back in Mintern, until things had returned to the way they were supposed to be. Falling back into a normal life had done much to soothe Iris's soul of the cool anomie that had managed to overtake her so completely in St. Paul. She was feeling the malaise of that time coming back on her now as she realized she could no longer think on anything suitable to drift away with into dreams. She sat up on the couch cold, tired and frustrated.

Justin was sitting in a chair next the window in his study, one leg crossed over the other, reading the bible balanced on his lap. The sun was shining directly on his head, making his greying blonde hair appear golden, radiating like a nimbus. He fidgeted absently at his high collar as Iris stood in the doorway admiring his strong build and noble profile. He cut an impressive figure in his dark clothes, even engaged in the most ordinary activities. Justin looked up at her.

Justin could sense that Iris wanted to say something, she'd been walking back and forth in front of his open door all morning in that dreadful navy blue dress he hated. Justin tried to look amenable as he waited staring at her half in shadow and half in the large sunbeam that was currently dividing the room in two. He caught himself staring at her knees, the scars across them shining up bright pink in the light as it shined at the perfect angle under the pleated hem of her skirt and its displaced shadow, they looked more menacing than he had remembered the last time he had snuck a peak as Iris dozed on the sofa a week ago. Iris tilted her head to the side, her face moving through several tentative, thoughtful expressions and finally settling into one of cool resolve. "What would you have done," she said pausing for a moment to stand up straight and relax her shoulders, "back in St. Paul, if someone had found out?"

Justin closed his bible and set it aside and turned in his chair, looking at her sober and somewhat surprised. "We've never talked about this before."

"I don't want to now Justin." she said quickly tensing up, "I just want to know what you would have done."

Justin rubbed his hands over his face for a moment thinking. "I never really thought about it, Iris."

Iris turned and quietly shut the door before turning back around, looking at him with a familiar incredulity, "What do you mean you never thought about it?"

Justin looked up at Iris almost smiling, "It just never entered my mind as a possibility."

Iris walked closer to him, looking around the room, "Of course it didn't, you've always had me to to take care of you, why would you worry?" she said, almost muttering, as though she was talking only to herself.

"I'm not a child now, and I wasn't then." Justin said allowing his tone to rise more than he wanted it to. "Get off of the cross Iris, I never forced you to do anything." he said, a kind of blasphemy he reserved especially for his sister.

Iris turned on him sharply, "Really? What would you have done if I'd said no?" Justin opened his mouth to say something before Iris cut him off, "Forced me onto a table..."

"Don't start with that Iris." Justin interrupted as he stood up and walked to her quickly, grabbing her in his arms.

Iris searched his eyes as he stood there gripping her arms. She could feel each finger digging into her arms and knew that it was going to bruise. "That never occured to you either did it? That I would say no."

"I thought it was what you wanted." Justin's expression shifted into something forlorn looking. "The nightmares...I couldn't even get near you. It killed me inside." Justin released her and began his own pacing. "It had to end." Justin turned to face her, "You have no idea what it was like to live with you all of these years, knowing."

"You never forgave me for being happy when we came back to Mintern did you? You wanted me to suffer always, like you." Iris said with surprise in her own voice.

"Iris, it was you who never forgave me. That's what the fire was really about wasn't it? You always blamed me for keeping you from that dream, from getting married, having a baby. You wanted to take it away from me. You blamed me." Justin moved close to her again.

Iris walked away from him toward the door, already trying to make an escape. "I sacrificed for you gladly. I've given you what you wanted no matter the cost to me. When I told you, when you threw me on the couch...you'd been holding that inside for years hadn't you? It was you who never forgave me. Tommy, all of it, you finally had permission to punish me, didn't you? It was never about the fire, it was about St. Paul. It was about...you never got over it." she stopped and looked down. "That's why it okay now isnt' it?" she said as she looked up at him. "You can have what you want, and my suffering becomes irrelevant doesn't it.? This is what you've always wanted. I simply played into your hand didn't I?"

Justin walked toward her again, this time taking her in his arms so she couldn't walk away. "Your suffering is that you cannot forgive yourself, I won't take the blame for that, not anymore. I always took the blame for everything. I loved you too much not to, but you've always known that, and you've always used it to your advantage."

Iris wrested free from him and looked up at him her features trembling. "Really?" she whispered, "and who's at the advantage now?" Iris turned and walked to the door opening it before Justin could stop her.

"Now you're angry." he said almost laughing, not quite understanding what had just happened.

"Really?" Iris said a decibal shy of a yell, and walked out slamming his door. Justin stood in the center of the room looking out the window then down at his feet. He went back to his chair and sat down again. He opened the bible and started trying to read, but the words all melted together on the page. He looked out the window and saw Iris making her way across the yard, with that charging walk that was so Iris. He took his bible and threw it. He watched as the pages breifly fluttered before it came crashing down on the floor. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and ran his fingers through his hair.

There was a knock in the door. "Come in." Justin called out from his chair, straightening himself up.

Sofie cracked the door, peeking her head inside. "Is everything alright Justin?"

"Yes, Sofie. A book just fell from the shelf." Justin smiled trying to hide his racing thoughts.

"Remember the Templetons are supposed to come for lunch today. Mrs. Templeton just called to tell me she'd invited that detective."

Justin reflexively rubbed his temples, "Yes, of course." He looked at Sofie, "Of course, that's fine."

Sofie sensed Justin's discomfort, she opened the door more and leaned on the jamb. "Are you sure? I could tell her your not feeling well. You don't seem in the mood for company today."

Justin smiled at Sofie. "You are an angel dear, but I couldn't encourage you to sin by having you lie." He smiled, flirting, "Now could I?"

Sofie smiled awkwardly, "I don't think God would mind me sparing someone's feelings," she dropped her eyes down and brought them back up in a coy display, "but, you are the expert."

"It'll be fine Sofie, really. But your concern is appreciated." Justin stood up and picked up his bible, tucking it neatly back into an opening on the book shelf, hoping Sofie didn't notice the title. He turned around and headed for her at the door. She quickly stood up straight and took a few steps back into the hallway. "Now, tell me, what were planning on making for lunch." he smiled as he joined her in the hallway, shutting the door to his study. 


	8. Chapter 8

Coreen and Val Templeton stared across the table at Iris as she tapped her spoon against her napkin on the table, her face pursed into an expression of utter annoyance. Sofie sat next to her looking from the Templetons to Iris and then to Justin, sitting at the head of the table and looking equally annoyed at his sister's manners. Jack sat at the other end of the table with an amused smile on his face. 

Sofie leaned into the table to get a better look at Jack. "So Jack, being a detective," she started, "that must be really interesting."

Jack took her cue and gave a little wink before looking over at Justin who was still staring at his sister. "It has it's moments, certainly Sofie." 

Coreen leaned in as well smiling widely at Jack with a twinkle in her eye. Jack almost started laughing at her utter mischievousness before she could speak. "You know Jack, I just love mystery novels." She looked toward Iris, "Iris here was just talking to me about The Postman Always Rings Twice the other day."

Iris looked up suddenly and put on that grotesque smile Jack hated. "Yes, that's right." she said looking back at Coreen.

"You know, I've thought about writing a book myself." Jack started, determined to get a real smile out of Iris. 

"Oh really." Iris said lifting her eyebrows at him and setting down her spoon.

"Yes," he said leaning in a bit more. "I think I have the perfect opening line too, just like in all those books people are eating up these days." Jack was smiling wide now and eying everyone at the table. Unconciously they were all leaning in slightly to hear what he had to say, and it made his heart beat a little harder with delight. "Yes. Tell me what you think." He wiped at the corner of his mouth quickly though he had yet to eat anything. He straighted up in his chair and looked directly at Iris. He gave a quick glance in Justin's direction and noted that he was still looking squarely at his sister, and growing more impatient at her rapt attention on him. He quickly reestablished eye contact with Iris.

"Well go on Jack." Coreen piped in as he focused on Iris.

He cleared his throat. "She walked into my office," he paused looking as everyone at the table stared at him, their mouths slightly open, waiting, "like a centipede with 98 missing legs." Iris burst out laughing, her forehead straining like she was going to cry and morphing into the relaxed lift that Jack loved so much in her real smiles. Her eyes wrinkled hard at the sides and her mouth was open, her tounge barely touching the bottom of her upper teeth, like a little girl. "Now, that is indeed a beautiful smile Ms. Crowe, you should indulge in them more often."

Iris rolled her eyes slightly and relaxed her posture. "Thankyou Mr. Tiernan," she said, smiling more freely.

Justin set his spoon down and looked from his sister to Jack, "I actually prefer my sister with a more somber expression myself." He smiled wickedly toward Jack before opening his smile up into something more freindly for the rest of the table to see.

"Oh Justin Crowe," Coreen laughed, "you are the living end."

Justin looked at her chuckling a bit, "Yes, you're right." he said. Exaggerating his smile over the more sinister implications of his statement. Jack took note of it anyway.

Val Templeton looked down at the bowl of soup in front of him. "This soup smells wonderful Sofie."

"Thank you, Mr. Templeton," she said smiling openly, "Justin here actually helped me make it this morning."

"Jack, could you pass me the salt." Iris chimed in quickly.

Coreen let out a stifled laugh. "It can't be that bad Iris."

"Oh," Iris said opening her eyes wide in a gesture of innocence, "you didn't think I was implying? Oh no."

"Iris what has gotten into you today, this isn't like you at all." Coreen laughed.

"Oh, I beg to differ Coreen." Justin smiled good naturedly

"You know," Iris leaned in smiling, "Justin here is the reason I never got married." Everyone at the table looked at her intently. "I mean if this is what it's like to live with a man, heaven help me. I swear if he wasn't my brother, some days." She laughed to herself, and Coreen soon joined in.

"Well it isn't for everyone. My dear Val, I feel like I won the lottery." Coreen leaned against her husband. Justin smiled laughing through pursed lips and a smirk. 

"You Crowes, you're quite entertaining." Jack said as he took a drink of water. A laugh at his lips. 

Sofie looked around the table, troubled, before looking at Jack. "Don't believe them," she smiled, "it's normally all 'please and thankyou' and 'remember when' around here."

"Oh, I don't doubt that for a minute Sofie." Jack smiled, reassuring the girl that he got the joke.

"There," Justin smiled at Iris, "look at that, now you've implicated poor Sofie in your charade."

"Oh stop it you two." Coreen admonished. "Everyone knows that Iris is as sweet as the day is long, and that Justin is perfectly pleaseant." She looked over at Iris, "Even if he is a man."

"Yes ladies, I do admit to being a man. As a man of God, I will be the first to admit my folly. If only to serve as an example to others." Justin bowed his head in a show of mock humility.

"Don't start with that brother, we'll never be done giving penance." Val inserted stoically, before looking at his smiling wife.

Iris shot Justin a brief, icy glare before smiling again at the table. Jack took note of it and filed it under the growing list of mysteries to be solved about the woman before him. He watched as she took a tentative sip of soup, before looking toward Justin. Justin was staring right at him. "So Justin, I have a friend in the clergy. He tells me that the School of Divinity at St. Thomas has an impressive reputation."

"Yes, it does. It's a six year intensive curriculum." Justin said trying to hide his discomfort at the detective's investigation into his own life. "Like marriage," he nodded towards Coreen and Val, "it's not for everyone."

"That must have been very expensive. You were very lucky to have your sister to rely on." Jack added.

"Of course. I'm very grateful to my sister. I don't think it would have been possible without her." he said looking at his sister. Iris looked up at him, her features softened a bit.

"That must have been quite an ambitious undertaking for you Iris, a seminary tuition." Jack said probing her.

Iris looked at Jack squarely, "We may have been orphaned at a young age Mr. Tiernan, but I certainly didn't think that my brother should be deprived of anything because of it."

"Of course not dear." Coreen offered.

"He had a calling," Iris continued, "it seemed to be a crime not to help. I suppose if I'd felt pulled to something in the same way it would have been different. But when someone knows what they want, you can't help but want to see that dream realized."

"Not many people would have had that attitude Iris," Jack said, before taking a sip of his soup, he set his spoon back down. "I only meant to compliment your fortitude."

"It's really not necessary Jack, I think anyone in my position would have done the same thing." Iris said before taking a sip of her own soup. 

"I was just wondering," Jack said. Iris put down her spoon impatiently. "The Dahlias said you left their employ in May, but you wouldn't have joined your brother in St. Paul until September."

Iris put down her hands down flat on the table, and looked at him with the ugly smile again. "Mr. Tiernan, are we having lunch or an interrogation?"

"I was just wondering what you did for those three months?"

"Nothing." Iris said. "Dr. Dahlia must have been mistaken, that was an awful long time ago."

"Actually it was the first Mrs. Dahlia that told me that. She was quite insistent on that fact." Jack smiled smugly. "Charm school, Ms. Crowe."

"Yes, you desperately need to go to one Mr. Tiernan." Iris fired back before taking a drink of water.

"Am I missing something?" Justin said leaning forward.

"Oh my, this is turning into quite an interesting conversation." Coreen gushed.

"Coreen, really." Val said, nudging his wife.

"I wasn't aware that there was ever a second Mrs. Dahlia. All this time I thought him and Beth were still together. It's always sad to hear that a marriage hasn't worked out." Iris said fidgeting with her napkin, and punctuating the end of her sentence by looking up and smiling.

Jack laughed, "And your friends with our dear Coreen? Iris, I can tell that you don't lie very often," Jack said leaning in and making eye contact with Justin, who was glowering, but seemed willing to let the conversation continue, "because you're incredibly bad at it."

"Oh Lord," Iris said pushing back in her chair and shrugging. "I had saved up quite a bit of money working for the Dahlias and I realized that I could afford to do something for myself and still be on time with Justin's tuition."

"You never told me about this." Justin said a genuine look of surprise on his face. "I would have never begrudged you spending the money. It was yours of course. You had to have known that."

"Of course I knew that Justin, I just. I knew what I was planning to do and you would have gone out of your mind with worry." Iris said looking about the table.

"And what was that exactly?" Jack asked, trying to bring the conversation back around.

"I went traveling." Iris said simply.

"A young girl traveling on her own?" Coreen gasped, "Iris, that's unheard of! You are full of surprises today."

Justin leaned back in his chair pushing his soup aside, "You're right, I would have gone out of my mind. You're lucky nothing bad happened to you." Justin leaned in again to punctuate what he was saying. "Really Iris, do you have any idea what could have happened to you?"

"From what I've heard it was more dangerous to a girl's virtue to work in that house." Coreen offered.

"Coreen!" Val, interrupted.

Sofie let out a laugh, and quickly grabbed her napkin and put it to her face, trying to muffle her laughter.

"Three months is a long time to travel with money saved up scrubbing floors." Jack said, not wanting to give Iris any room in her explanation.

"Well, Dr. Dahlia gave me a very generous severance." Iris added quickly.

"That's odd, Dr. Dahlia doesn't strike me as a very generous man." Jack said pushing at Iris.

"Wait a minute," Justin interrupted trying to catch Iris's eyes, "Where did you travel to?"

Iris looked from Jack to Justin, and decided that the answer to Justin's question was safer. "Just extended stays on the stops to see you Justin, really. Just an extended tour of the places I knew I probably wouldn't get the chance to see again." Justin was still leaning in upset. "Justin, it was years ago, really. And nothing happened. Here I am in one piece. And another thing, I worked to put you through school, I supported both of us for over a year, I was not some naive girl. I'd like to think I knew how to handle myself."

"That I have no problem believing." Jack said. "But Abel told me a story about the boys having to sneak you out of the house in the middle of the night to see your brother on a visit because the Dahlias wouldn't let you leave the house. That hardly seems like the same kind of person that would give you a generous severance."

Iris looked at Jack, "You saw Abel? How was he?"

"He was alright, except for his eye that is. Seems he managed to loose it somewhere along the way." Jack said preparing himself for the invitation to leave he knew was coming. "He asked about you too, seems he had quite a crush on you back then."

"Well Mr. Tiernan, I honestly don't see how you could find anything he had to say remotely believable." Iris laughed, "I mean really, the Dahlias wouldn't let me leave the house? Believing something a man without enough sense to keep both of his eyes told you?" 

"I find it entirely believable that someone could have a crush on you." Jack laughed. 

"It was a payoff wasn't it Iris?" Coreen chimed in. "C'mon Iris, tell us."

"Coreen, I swear one more word from you." Val said through his teeth.

"Now Val, there's no need to threaten your dear wife in this house." Justin said in a show of gallantry that reminded Jack suddenly that Justin was indeed a member of the clergy. He berated himself for an instant for being too aggressive toward him in his efforts to unravel Iris.

"Coreen, blackmail would be positively untoward. Besides it's rude to discuss finances in mixed company." Iris said abandoning herself to the conversation.

"Look what you've started detective. I'm not normally one to ask someone to leave my home, but if you are going to continue to harass my sister, I'm afraid I'll have to." Justin said, quieting the whole table.

"I am awfully sorry," Jack said actually finding himself feeling guilty as he regarded the ruffled minister before him, and the sulking Iris, and strangely, the frowning Sofie.

"Really, Justin, it's my fault." Coreen volunteered, "I must admit I get a little carried away at times."

"Don't be so hard on yourself Coreen, you've had Jack's help along the way." Iris said looking sharply at Jack.

"Why don't I just do the gentlemanly thing then, and excuse myself." Jack said as he stood up. "Again, I'm sorry to have caused such a stir. The soup was wonderful Sofie dear," he said as he nodded his head at her. 

"If only it'd occured to you to be a gentleman a half an hour ago Jack." Iris said looking up at him smugly.

"Coreen, Val." Jack said nodding goodbye to them, "I can see myself out." he finished before turning and leaving.

The table sat in silence for a moment.

"Really you were too hard on him Iris," Coreen finally said, "he likes you."

"Don't be fooled, he's a snake oil salesman if I ever saw one." Iris said before taking a sip of water. "The first Mrs. Dahlia has been dead for over ten years."

"Iris Crowe!" Coreen gasped.

"The truth about my little vacation was going to come out before the second course anyway." Iris said looking at each person at the table before finishing. "It was a dreadful waste of money. I should've just saved it. Not one single thing worth remembering happened. And that's that, end of story."

"I know the Dahlias Iris, you're not going to convince me that Dr. Dahlia really just gave you a big severance." Coreen looked at Val again before leaning forward, but he'd given up hope. "What did you see? We're all friends here."

Sofie was leaning in too now. Justin looked at Iris and Coreen and tried to break it up, "Dear Coreen, this really isn't the kind of thing I want to have discussed around my table. Idle gossip is..."

"That Coreen is the five-hundred dollar question isn't it?" said cutting Justin off, "Or I suppose today it would be the thousand dollar question." Iris stood up. "If you'll excuse me everyone." Iris started to leave before turning around and adding, "that man a friend of someone in the clergy? Next he'll have you believing he's actually read a book." Iris turned back around and disappeared into the living room.

Coreen looked at Sofie, Sofie gave a little smile in Justin's shadow. "A thousand dollars..." Coreen mumbled. Sofie widened her eyes at Coreen, trying to hold back a bigger smile.

"Perhaps we'd best call it a day." Justin offered, "I think that detective has managed to spoil lunch for today, maybe next week we can try again."

"I think your right Justin." Val said beginning to stand up. "Come on dear, let's leave Brother Crowe to his day."

"Of course." Coreen said as she struggled to maneuver her weight out of her chair. She looked up at Justin, "I'm so sorry Justin. I don't know what I was thinking inviting him."

"I do." Justin said unflinching as he looked into her eyes, before softening his gaze, "It's quite alright. I don't think anyone is the worse for wear." Justin reached out and shook Val's hand. "We will have to try again." 


	9. Chapter 9

The river looked calm as Iris stood on the bank watching the rippling water. The sun was shining down directly overhead and the golden sheen of the surface looked like flowing honey. Iris remembered the days after it began when she would get lost in thought hanging laundry on the line in the morning the sun rising over Mintern, layering the yards and houses wth the same golden light she regarded before her. She would find herself recalling her arm hooked around his neck in the dark, and the strange burning, pulling, aching sensation as he moved inside of her, at the most inopportune moments. She would wonder if Mrs. Dahlia could tell as they stood next to each other in the kitchen, the older woman looking down at her breasts or her apron, appraising her figure before telling her she needed a new uniform. Iris would sit in the bathtub at night unable to shake the memory of the pain between her legs and the feeling of his shirt as she'd hooked her arm around his neck in the dark. The way his belt buckle had dug into her thighs as he moved between her legs, his pants halfway down around his own thighs, awkwardly thrusting inside of her. The way his voice had sounded saying her name over and over again, "Iris." A soft whisper at first, then almost a whine, "Iris." More insisistant.

"Iris." Iris turned her head suddenly to regard her brother standing next to her. "You're always a thousand miles away lately." he smiled, stepping closer to her.

"Just a few miles away." she said as she looked back out onto the river. "Back in Mintern."

"What was all that business back there." he said, his tone getting more stern. "Was it really necessary to feed Coreen Templeton that last little bit of bait, Iris?"

"I'm sorry?" Iris turned again to get a better look at Justin.

"The thousand dollar question." Justin reminded her. "I understand you're angry with me, though I'm not exactly sure why, but do you have to bring down the whole house with you?"

"You're not a child anymore remember?" Iris said turning back to the river again. "Be the man. Handle it." she said cooly.

Justin moved closer to Iris, grabbing her arm and turning her to face him. Iris looked frightened, unsure of what he was going to do. Justin looked angry at first but then he relaxed his features as he looked down at her. "I've never been that way with you. I've never treated you as anything less than an equal in our house." Justin let go of her arm, "which is much more than you could have hoped for with someone else by the way." he said shooting her a side long glace.

"Iris, upstairs." she said mocking Justin's tone from many weeks ago when he'd shooed her upstairs after Varilyn Stroud had knocked on the door in the middle of the night. Her pride had burned at the command when he gave it, much like everything else about his behavior in those weeks, and she wanted him to know she hadn't forgotten that he was just as capable as the next man of treating her as less than.

"That my dear," Justin said without looking away from the river, "had nothing to do with you being a woman."

"I'm going in." Iris said as she turned. Justin's arm was on her again holding her back. She stopped and looked at him with exasperation.

"You went traveling huh?" he said searching her eyes. "I can do the math Iris. Don't make me ask."

"Oh, you're a mathmetician are you? Please thrill me with your acumen." Iris said pulling her arm free from Justin's.

"The severance. Were you and Dr. Dahlia lovers?" Justin asked not looking away as Iris would have expected.

"I don't know if I should be angry or upset you could ask me a question like that with a straight face." she said growing indignant. "Are you calling me a mother or a whore Justin?"

Justin refused to look away, his face only grew more sincere as he walked closer to her trying to pull her to him. "Pleae say neither."

"Dr. Dahlia did proposition me." Iris turned her back to him. "I told him no. He told me not to be stupid that he was offering me more than I was worth," Iris turned to face Justin, "at face value of course. I told him that my body wasn't mind to give, it was God's. He called me a terminal fool. I told him that God would provide." She moved closer to Justin, "he said, 'Like God provided for your dead mother and father.'"

Justin pulled Iris to him and hugged her. "I'm sorry. I didn't really think you capable of something like that. It's that detective he put this idea in my mind."

Iris pulled away, "Oh, come off of it Justin, when was the last time someone made you think something? No, I think you didn't doubt for a second I'd be capable of such a thing. Isn't that the irony of men and women, once you knew what I'd do for you, you had to wonder what I'd do for someone else?" Iris turned and started to walk away.

"Don't walk away from me Iris." Justin called after her.

Iris turned on him, "Aren't I allowed any secrets?".

"Of course you are. You are entitled to a private life, of course" Justin said smiling, laughing walking toward her. "But how long do you think you can get away with using that excuse to hide things from me?"

"What is it I'm hiding?" she asked as he neared her, grasping her hand.

"I don't know Iris," he said as they began walking together. He looked down at her, "but I am going to find out." They walked on in silence, and Justin took her quiet smoldering for an affirmation that indeed she was hiding something much more than she was ready to admit. 


	10. Chapter 10

The sun was fading fast over the horizon as Sofie watched Justin and Iris emerge from the dark line of trees along the outskirts of the yard. Brother and sister were holding hands but their heads were distant, Iris pulling Justin along almost. Sofie made herself scarce behind the screen door watching intently to see what they would do. Justin halted pulling Iris back, he put his hand around her waist and appeared to be whispering something in her ear, but he was leaning into her, curving his back. Iris was pushing away and Sofie found herself strangely satisfied at the maneuver. She turned away, sensing a need for privacy.  
Sofie stopped her dusting and regarded Iris at her needlepoint for awhile. Justin could be heard shuffling about upstairs, and then he grew silent. Sofie wanted to ask Iris so many things, if she wore a bra (she would never let Sofie do or see her laundry, amazingly, stealthily), if she wore garters with her socks, if she'd ever let a man touch her…there. Female things, woman things, things that Sofie never got to discuss with her mother, never wanted to. "I didn't know you used to be a maid." Sofie finally ventured.  
"What?" Iris looked up from her lap suddenly.  
"I'm sorry." Sofie apologized before repeating herself, "I just said I never knew you were a maid"  
"Oh yes dear." Iris put down her needlepoint, "A long time ago"  
"So you and Justin," Sofie moved closer to Iris taking a seat as Iris made room for her on the sofa, "you've always been together"  
"Yes, yes we have." Iris said, smiling at the girl next to her, patting her leg.  
"You two must be really close." Sofie said, wanting to ask so much more about what she'd seen between the two of them. She'd never seen a love so close before, never seen two people so in sync with each other, except for maybe Rita Sue and Stumpy. But even they, she had to admit, had their down times. With Justin and Iris it seemed even the down times were up, they seemed to smart each other with an uncanny ability.  
"Well, we have seen each other through everything." Iris sighed.  
Sofie felt a new confidence brewing within her, "Why didn't you ever get married Ms. Crowe"  
"Oh Sofie," Iris smiled at the girl before looking off into the distance, "I suppose the right person just never came along"  
"Justin didn't like any of your boyfriends huh?" Sofie offered.  
Iris looked at her bewildered and sad for a moment, "I never really had boyfriends I don't think, dear." Iris said.  
Sofie saw a sudden flash of Jack Tiernan lingering over Iris's face as he pressed her against a wall, sliding a single finger down her cheek. "What about that detective"  
"Jack," Iris lifted her eyebrows, "oh please, Sofie"  
"What?" Sofie countered. "I think he's kind of cute"  
"You would Sofie. But I'm an old woman now." Iris laughed to herself.  
"He likes you, I can tell." Sofie said smiling, digging a finger into Iris's ribs.  
"Really Sofie, don't start that, the rumors will be flying." Iris joked. "Justin doesn't like him." Sofie smiled wickedly.  
"Well, my brother is an excellent judge of character." Iris conceded. Suddenly Sofie was overtaken with the image of her mother bent over a table and Justin as a young man on top of her. Sofie felt sick to her stomach, but the vision didn't stop as she stared at Iris's hand resting on her leg. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" Iris asked looking into Sofie's eyes.  
"Yes," Sofie huffed, trying to avoid Iris's gaze, "I'm fine." Sofie tried to fight against the image of Iris but she saw Iris's face clearly, watching what was happening to her mother. Another wave of nausea overcame Sofie, she felt like she was going to dry heave and she fought it hard, grabbing onto Iris's thigh. She could hear her mother screaming across the years, that much she was ready for. But a new sonic intrusion was overtaking her, the sound of Justin's voice calling out to his sister. Sofie looked at Iris again, searching her face for some sort of disproof, but instead all she found was the familiar set of features only aged finely with time, and Sofie knew it was true, knew that Iris had seen the whole thing. She shut her eyes to try and squeeze the screaming out of her mind, to sweep away the last echoes of her mother's begging as Justin forced himself on her in her own apartment. "Are you sure dear?" Iris asked again pressing a hand to Sofie's forehead, "You look absolutely piqued"  
"Yes," Sofie said removing Iris's hand from her forehead, "I'm just. I should go to bed." Sofie stammered out. Iris's hands now felt clammy and cold to her, and she didn't want them anywhere near her skin. Sofie got up shakily and nodded her head at Iris without looking at her, instead staring at the patterns in the carpet. "Good night"  
"Good night Sofie." Iris cooed after her, "You should get some rest. You really don't look well. Why don't you go ahead and sleep in a bit tomorrow morning"  
"Yes," Sofie said pausing near the hallway but not turning around, "thank you. Maybe I will"  
Sofie sat on her bed in her room, listening to the chirring crickets outside of her window. After awhile she heard the sounds of Iris making her way upstairs and the sound her bedroom door closing. She waited to hear the sound of the lock clicking over in the jamb, but it never came. Sofie felt a rage burning inside of her as she pictured Iris sinking into her covers, drifting off into dreams, smiling stupidly. She nodded her head to herself and caught her reflection in the mirror. She stared at herself for a long moment. She heard a sound like grating sand and realized a tiny fissure had formed at the corner of the glass. Sofie wondered if she'd willed it to happen in that moment, or if she was only now noticing a crack that had been there all along.

Justin was swimming in a dark current, he could feel something gently sweeping over his face, he struggled to open his eyes, he waded through the float of dark fabric, he was underwater. He pushed through skirts of black in black water, a stream of light funneled into the darkness. He pushed at the skirts more and suddenly the image of his mother's face appeared before him, pale and dead. Her eyes looked through him, at something beyond. Justin woke up with a start.  
He looked around the room in the dark until the familiar shapes of his furniture became clear to him in the moonlight. His throat was dry and he wanted Iris, wanted her to hold him in some way, to remember with him the horror of that night they died, the night they were the only ones reborn on that riverbank. Pride be damned, Justin got up and headed for Iris's door. Yet when he got there he wasn't sure whether to knock or not, normally he would just walk in, but things between them had become different, had become strained. He began to turn the knob but realized he didn't quite know what to say to her when he got in or if she would tell him to go away. Pride began to win over again and Justin walked downstairs to get a glass of water instead. As Justin stood at the sink looking out onto the yard he thought he could see someone standing by the large tree that loomed near the driveway. Justin strained to get a better look and realized he was looking at himself years ago. He was fidgeting with the cuffs of his jacket as he leaned against the trunk of the tree, waiting in the cold for his sister to arrive. He saw two figures approaching, one was bundled up and leaning against the other, it was his sister and the boy that escorted her that night. He watched as they conversed for a moment and then Iris stumbled into his arms. The boy disappeared into the fields. He watched as him and Iris moved closer to the house, Iris leaning into him and laughing. Justin moved out of the way to watch them longer without being seen, not wanting to interrupt this vision, memory, whatever it was. But regardless of his care the figures of him and Iris huddled together began to grow transparent as they neared the veranda before disappearing. Justin felt something tugging inside of himself like tears, he had wanted so desperately for the memory to last a little longer, and then he remember what had happened that night, what had been said that could never be taken back. Justin filled his glass with water again, determined that would be enough reason to enter Iris's room. They used to do the same thing when they were children, if one got up to get water in the middle of the night they would refill the glass and leave it on the other's bedside table, in case they woke up thirsty too. The stairs creaked under Justin's feet and he found himself growing nervous. He didn't want Iris to know that he needed her now, especially not after his declarations that he was not a child and did not need her in that way anymore. He flinched only now at the implications that such a statement might have for his sister, suddenly realizing the possible source of her anger. But he could never be sure with Iris and her temper, so he would never allow himself to be fully convinced that he really understood anything about her, other than that conflict was unavoidable and that to some degree she liked to be frightened.  
He opened Iris's door slowly afraid for a moment at what he might see. More memories of tangled bodies maybe, something wholly unpleasant, but as the door opened wider he found only Iris sleeping with her back to the door, and the stridulations of crickets outside the window. He walked toward her bed slowly not wanting to wake her, but wanting her to wake up. Iris stirred as if instinctively she recognized his presence when he came near her, but she didn't roll over or show any other outward signs of being roused from sleep. Justin set the glass down next to her on her nightstand and sat down on the corner of her bed.  
"What is it Justin?" Iris sleep grated voice asked him.  
"Nothing, I just brought you some water." Justin whispered taken aback, yet not, somewhere he knew she would wake up for him.  
"What's wrong." She said rolling onto her back but still not opening her eyes. She reached out her hand patting along the bed until she found where his was firmly planted on the mattress. She ran her hand over his.  
"Nothing, go back to sleep." He whispered leaning down to kiss her forehead. He let his hand travel over her body and rest over her heart.  
Iris pressed his hand into her heart, "Yes Justin, its still beating." She said dreamily before rolling over onto her side, into him, clasping his hand in hers as she curled about his arm and drifted back off into sleep. Justin hovered there for several moments, wanting to lie down next to her, but not. Finally he decided to go back to bed. He extracted his hand from the folds of Iris's nightgown and headed back into his own bed. Nestling down into the chill of it and recalling again the chill of that night as he waited for Iris to be delivered into his arms. How it had felt to lay with her in his bed nestling into the rough grain of the pea coat she'd borrowed from the boy she was with. She smelled like wine and cigarettes, but her hair smelled of the most exquisite perfume. He'd never smelled it on her again after that night. She explained through half closed lids and slurred speech that she'd been playing in Mrs. Dahlia's closet, and Justin had kissed her, allowing his tongue to actually move into her mouth. She tasted like chocolate truffles. Justin rolled onto his side and curled into himself, trying to shut out all of the bad parts of the memory and still somehow recall the good. But it wasn't working. He fell back into a fitful sleep.  
Sofie was reading the morning paper in the living room, half listening to the sounds of Iris and the security detail as they moved about the porch. Iris hated them and Sofie found a new satisfaction moving over her as she sensed the frustration in the loud sounds of chairs scraping against wood as Iris rearranged the furniture on the porch after they'd left. Justin was long gone down in the camps, making his rounds and saving souls. She wanted to go out onto the porch and tell Iris then and there everything that she knew and slap her a few times for allowing such a thing to happen to her mother. Sofie couldn't fathom how, as a woman, she could allow such a thing to happen. Did she have no pride? Did she feel no allegiance to anything beyond herself and her brother? No Sofie decided, Iris was indeed a cold bitch. Sofie wanted to make her suffer. The feeling of anger burned inside of her fiercely and it was uncomfortable, she wanted to do something to alleviate it. She spotted the needlepoint Iris had been working on the night before, the needle stuck into the muslin cloth in the middle of a thickly stitched green leaf. Sofie grabbed it up quickly and took the needle out, pushing it into the thatched thread of the snaking vine and trying to pull up the snug arrangement of threads. She managed to loosen only a few strands of the green fiber and gave up.  
"Good morning Mark." Sofie heard Iris greeting the postman, and quickly tucked the whole framed arrangement of needlepoint and fabric under the sofa cushion beneath her. "Good morning Ms. Crowe." The plump man said back. Sofie could picture his smiling, blushing face through the walls. He was one of those men, the kind with a natural creamy blush to his cheeks, like a fresh faced maiden, though Sofie was sure his reddened features were the result of the flask of whiskey that occasionally peeked out of the back of his belt. "What do you have for us today?" Iris said sweetly. It was a sweetness that made Sofie's chest tighten. She pulled out the needlepoint again and pulled at the fabric trying to perhaps break the thin plywood of the frame, but succeeded only in pulling the fabric off center slightly. Sofie finally gave up and pushed in on the sides of the circular frame until she heard the wood crack. She tucked it under the sofa again. Sofie got up and moved closer to the door.  
"Just the usual Ms. Crowe, and then," the man's voice trailed off and Sofie leaned against the door trying to peek through the screen door, straining to hear what was coming next.  
"This Ms. Crowe, I was instructed was for your eyes only." The man whispered before handing Iris an envelope. "Oh, I see." Iris said sounding a little puzzled.  
"It didn't come with the regular mail. I'm not normally supposed to do this sort of thing, but the man seemed very desperate." The postman continued. "Oh." Iris said, now seeming to understand. "Well thank you very much Mark. This will just be between us." She whispered.  
"Alright then Ms. Crowe, I'll see you tomorrow." The man said in a regular tone of voice.  
"Of course Mark, you have a good day now." Iris called out. Sofie quickly headed back to the livingroom, plopping down the sofa cushion that concealed the evidence of her earlier destructive impulse. She pulled the paper back into her lap and tried to look interested in the latest sports score. A rush of butterflies swarmed in her stomach as she heard the screen door smack against the door frame and the clicking of Iris's heeled shoes as she made her way down the hall, but Iris didn't pause in the living room, instead rushing up the stairs. Sofie heard the click of Iris's door and then the second click of her lock turning. Sofie listened for the next half hour as Iris opened and closed her armoire and shuffled about her room. Sofie tried to look casual as she heard Iris descending the stairs. She popped her head into the living room again briefly. "Sofie"  
Sofie looked up and tried to appear not to care one way or another that Iris was there, "Yes." She said lifting her eyebrows slightly.  
"I'm going to town to have lunch with Coreen Templeton, I'll be back for dinner." Iris said. Sofie decided that Jack was right, Iris was a terrible liar.  
"Alright Miss." Sofie said nonchalantly, secretly brimming inside with excitement at the prospect of rifling through Iris's things the minute she left.  
"Please Sofie, we've been through this, call me Iris." Iris said before disappearing back into the hall.  
"Iris." Sofie said to herself under her breath as she listened to Iris disappear out the door. She heard the bustle of men deciding who would escort Iris to her car and then the quiet as one of them won out the honor. Sofie jumped off of the sofa and headed upstairs. She entered Iris's room quietly at first, as though she might wake some spirit Iris left behind to safeguard her possessions. She went to the window and saw the cloud of dust obscuring the car as Iris drove away. Sofie quickly scanned the room and spotted an envelope on Iris's vanity. Sofie went to it and paused, debating whether or not to disturb it. Very slippery of you Iris, you should know better than leave something for the maid to find, Sofie caught herself thinking. She was about to pull the slip of paper out of the envelope when she heard one of the men greeting Justin at the door. She quickly grabbed the envelope and tucked it into the pocket of her apron and made her way downstairs. She made it into the hallway and saw Justin paused at the door holding it open as he talked to one of the security guards. Sofie quickly placed the envelope on top of the stack of letters that sat on the small table near the front door next to the coat rack. Justin turned around and let the screen door shut. "Good morning Sofie." He said smiling. Sofie was glad he was in good spirits, she was going to kill two birds with one stone.  
"Morning Justin." She smiled sweetly. "Well, you seem in a good mood, this morning. What a delight." Justin continued, the side of his eyes twitching as he smiled, his usual subtle flirtation.  
"It's a beautiful day." Sofie continued eyeing the stack of envelopes on the desk.  
Justin seemed to take her cue and walked toward the envelopes. "The mail already came today"  
"Yes. It sure did." Sofie said frightened and excited at the same time, hoping that what ever Iris had received this morning was something incriminating.  
"Well then. I suppose I should start with my day." He said gathering up the envelopes and walking toward his study. "These should keep me busy until lunch." Sofie noted with a little joy that he was toying with the edge of the opened envelope with his finger.  
"Oh, by the way," Sofie started, "Iris won't be joining us for lunch today. She said something about needing to go to town or something"  
"Hmmn." Justin said, wrinkling his brow a bit, but not revealing much more to Sofie, and with that he closed the distance to his study and closed the door.  
It was a few moments later when Justin peeked his head out of the door of his study and yelled to Sofie, "Where was it my sister said she was going"  
Sofie walked into the hallway, wanting to get a good look at his face. He looked remarkably upset yet put together, it was a specialty of Justin's Sofie had noticed. Like the morning he thrown his Bible across the room and she'd caught him in a fluster.  
"Something about meeting someone for lunch in town." Sofie smiled innocently. "Something like that, she was kind of in a hurry, she didn't really say. Only that she'd be back for dinner"  
"Thank you Sofie." Justin said beginning to slip back into his study.  
"Is something wrong Justin?" Sofie pushed, loving the look of horror and anger moving quietly under his curiosity.  
"No, no, not at all dear." Justin smiled before ducking back into his study. Justin quickly leaned his head back out, "You know dear, I think I'll take my lunch alone today, out on the veranda"  
"Oh, alright." Sofie smiled back at him before disappearing down the hall.  
Sofie watched as Justin sat on the veranda all afternoon waiting for his sister, his face set into an aggressive scowl when he thought no one was looking. His stoic features reminded Sofie of something like a gargoyle, and it made her smile to herself as she went about dusting and straightening things throughout a house Iris kept too immaculate to really require a maid in the first place. As the sun began to set there was still no trace of Iris. Justin appeared in the kitchen as Sofie began dinner.  
"Sofie, I'd like to have dinner alone with my sister tonight." He said seeming nervous.  
"That's alright, " she looked up at him, " I can take dinner in my room"  
"Actually, I need to discuss…" he stopped himself and walked closer to Sofie, so he was standing right next to her. She could smell the Vitalis in his hair and she had to look up at him to see into his eyes. She thought he might make a move to kiss her when he grabbed her hand, but instead she felt him put a wad of paper into it. She looked down and realized that there were several dollar bills there. "Why don't you go to town tonight, take a room, and buy your self a new dress. You need a new dress, don't you?" He looked at her with genuine questioning.  
Sofie wanted to resist, she wanted to see whatever was going to happen between brother and sister. She realized she was much more like Coreen Templeton than she thought. "Oh Justin, that's very generous, but really I couldn't." She tried to hand the money back to Justin, but he lifted up his arms in refusal.  
"Nonsense, Sofie." His features became more rigid. "Now, go and buy yourself a dress and a nice dinner. Take a night in the nice hotel, not the motel." He was much more sinister now. "Really"  
"Okay." She said giving in and hating it. She didn't want to miss this, but apparently she wasn't going to have a choice. "What ever you say Justin," Sofie smiled, "thank you." Sofie took the money and shoved it in her apron pocket. She turned and went back to the task of making dinner. She heard Justin retreat from the kitchen.

Sofie wanted to see the suffering, she wanted to hear the screams she was sure were going to be coming tonight. Sofie wanted Iris to pay in spades for what she had allowed to take place so many years ago. It wasn't fair that she should get to live out her days happy and pampered in this house when her mother had been forced to suffer. Forced to have Justin pressed against her in her own house, left with a child to take care of. It was Justin and Iris who had ruined her mother, taken her mother away from her. Made her crazy. It was the two of them that abandoned her to take care of a mad woman that could never love her. She wanted Iris to experience what it was like to be rejected by the one you love, to lose a family, to feel what it was like to have someone else take away everything that you had. Sofie couldn't make sense of her motivations even to herself, only that she felt justified in everything she was doing. The one thing she was sure of was that Iris and Justin deserved to suffer no matter how many immigrants they shook hands with or how much soup they ladled into tin cups. They were liars of the worst caliber and Sofie wanted to expose them for what they were. Sofie imagined Iris on her knees, broken before her having lost everything, having been exposed to her brother, having been destroyed, having lost everything. Sofie imagined Iris pleading, begging, asking her why, and Sofie imagined herself standing over Iris and spitting on her, before telling her smugly, "Because you knew, and you did nothing, so now, you get nothing." Sofie laughed maniacally to herself as she replayed her little passion play in her mind. Imagining how sweet the victory would feel. How good it would feel to see Iris on her knees, the one in rags, depending on her.

Sofie held the receiver to her ear, "Hello Mrs. Templeton, this is Sofie, I was looking for Ms. Crowe, she said you two were having lunch today"  
"Oh really dear. Well uh, yes, yes we were." Sofie was surprised that Coreen was lying for Iris, she hadn't struck her as being that close with her employer.

"I was trying to figure out what time she thought she'd be home for dinner may I speak with her"  
"Oh you know dear, she's indisposed at the moment, but uh, I'll tell her to hurry on home." Coreen was stilted. Sofie realized she wasn't much better of a liar that Iris.  
"Thanks Mrs. Templeton. Goodbye." Sofie hung up the phone smiling to herself. Covering for Iris or no, she figured she'd planted all the seeds she needed to in Coreen to have the rumor mill churning by the next service. Townies, Sofie thought, the easiest marks to make. 


	11. Chapter 11

Iris stood outside of Jack's door, casting sidelong looks down the empty corridors for any prying eyes. She turned sharply when she heard Jack's door knob turning. Jack stood at the door in an undershirt and his slacks. The sight of that much of his skin startled Iris. She looked up at him quizically. Jack smiled at her, before looking down at hemself. "I'm sorry. I wasn't really expecting you to show up."

"Are you busy?" Iris asked, a trace of agitation in her voice.

"No," Jack stepped aside and motioned for Iris to enter, "not at all. I was just shaving."

Iris looked at him for a moment before crossing the threshold into his room. Jack's room, was incredibly well kept, the bed was made tightly and, Iris noticed, the shoes lined against the wall neatly. Iris quickly cross-referenced this behavior with every house she'd ever worked for until she identified the habit with a wealthy illustrator she used to work for, cleaning his studio once a month. She figured Jack was in decent company. Justin was equally neat, but probably due to her own preening, and not anything else. She recognized that her penchant for cleanliness was not the result of any natural impulse. Jack's shirt was slung over the back of the one chair in the room. Iris wasn't quite sure what the etiquette was in this scenario.

"Please," Jack said as he motioned toward the bed, "have a seat."

Iris looked at him through narrowed eyes before setting her purse down on the end table, and taking an uncomfortably small seat as close to the edge of the bed as possible. Jack looked around the room for a moment, eying his chair before taking a seat next to Iris on the bed. He was mere inches from her, and the reality of the situation hit her with a strange excitement. There was no one to stop them from becoming much closer, no on to interrupt anything they should choose to start. Not that even the whipser of such a desire had gone between them.

Iris eyed his exposed arms. They were well muscled for someone that wasn't blue collar, that meant he was disciplined enough to stay in shape for the sake of it, and Iris knew from mere observation that such a trait was harder to find the older men got. His arms, the shoes, the suits, just shaving, it all came together in Iris's head, Jack was much more calculating that Iris had previously given him credit for. He probably never gambled a day in his life, which meant that he must have known she would come, and that he wanted her to find him like this. It occured to Iris that this whole flirtation could be part of some ploy. She moved her eyes up his arms and stopped at the tattoo. "Who is Madeline?" she asked.

Jack looked at Iris and rubbed the tattoo absently. "Madeline was my wife." he said not looking away from her. Iris didn't say anything, still looking at the name inked into his pale skin. She looked up at him again. "She died eight years ago." he said, "Sudden heart attack. It was unexpected she was a healthy woman as far as everyone knew."

"I'm sorry Jack." Iris said, not quite sure where this was headed. "That must have been quite a shock."

"I'd never lost anyone close to me before."

They sat quietly for a moment. "I didn't realize that you were a widow." Iris finally said without really thinking. Iris looked up at Jack again. He met her gaze, not really smiling, just taking her in. "Is that when you became a private detective?" Iris continued, feeling more and more awkward as the seconds ticked past.

"Something like that." he said relaxing a bit, but not yet smiling or moving away from Iris. "I had a hard time after Maddy passed. I found it..." he stopped, searching the ceiling for a moment, "difficult to return to my life as it was before."

"And how was that?" Iris asked, unable to check her curiosity. "You'll have to forgive me Jack," Iris said as she began taking off her gloves, "but here you've been sifting through my life, and I haven't the slightest idea about yours."

"That's usually how it works Iris." Jack said, still not smiling.

"So I am the one under investigation then?" Iris said, setting her gloves on the nightstand. "At least we can both just get that one right out of the way."

Jack didn't move or smile. "This isn't normally how I do things." he finally said.

"I don't understand."

"I think you do."

"Bringing people to your hotel room?" she said lifting her eyebrows, finally calling attention to the awkward social arrangmenet they were currently engaging in.

"I don't want it to be that way between us." Jack said, his voice ringing with sincerity. His eyes danced about the room for a minute before settling back on Iris. "I'm sorry about lunch the other day, but I have to admit my personal curiosity about you takes precedence even over this case." He looked at Iris even more pointedly, still not smiling. Iris realized that if Jack had a serious side, this was it, and she found herself actually becoming duely frightened, in a way that she was never with Justin. "I want you to trust me." He paused again, thinking very seriously about what he was going to say next. "I want you to like me." Jack didn't look away after his admission as is the usual habit of most people possessed of pride. Instead he drew closer to get a better look into her eyes, which she found herself trying to shift away, though her heart was leaping at the attention.

She still wasn't sure if this was some kind of trick or not, but there was something about his plaintive way the weakened her. The note had simply said "I want to see you.", and yet the sentence had worked on her senses like Whitman. Iris found herself in her car heading to his hotel room despite her best judgement. "You have the strangest sense of manners Jack." Iris said, still not sure of what exactly they were negotiating. "But I remember, you didn't go to charm school, and you were a policeman in San Francisco, that you were married to Madeline, and you've been a private detective for eight years now. And you want me to like you." Iris wasn't sure what else to say, but for all intents and purposes the man before her was a stranger. And yet not, he wasn't privy to her private life, but that didn't change the fact that he was, and in some way that did make them much closer than everyone she knew. In some ways even Justin, and the idea of it thrilled her.

Jack moved closer to Iris, "I went to Harvard. I graduated with a degree in history. I met Madeline there, she was a librarian. My parents were hoping for a lawyer or politician, like my brother. I have two of those by the way. I had a calling to police work." Jack looked around, looked into her face to see if he should continue. Iris wanted him too, though she didn't. "I was born in Delaware and raised in Maryland, until I went to school of course. I've never been to a church service in my life, me and Madeline eloped in San Francisco. My parents didn't approve of the match, she didn't have much." He stopped and looked at her, holding something back, "And yes, we lived in sin for a long time before we got married, and I don't regret any of it."

Iris tried to take everything in that he had just laid out before her, but also, she wanted to push it away. She didn't know what to say. "Well, now the suits make sense." she finally said. Jack just looked at her. "So in all those years with the police, did they ever mention not doing all this?" Iris said, wanting so much to close the short distance between them and just feel him. She wasn't used to this kind of talk.

"Maybe I'm doing myself in." Jack was still just looking straight at her, straight through to the core of her. In all her days Iris had never encountered someone with such an uncanny ability to push into a person. "But I don't think so." Jack moved imperceptable milimeters closer to her and she noticed it. Iris didn't pull away. "We're not children here."

"I'm confused." Iris said, frowning.

"I've learned everything I can about you from everyone else. Normally I'd be more patient, more carful, but I just want this out of the way." Jack wouldn't let Iris's gaze go. She wanted it out of the way too, but she didn't want to answer these questions, not with him, because she knew she would be forced to tell a truth that would unravel a thousand other untruths.

"And what is it that you know about me? I'm very curious to know." Iris said trying to deflect him in some way. His eyes flashed for a minute and she knew that whatever he'd heard it wasn't going to be sweetened to her taste. She didn't really want to know what people thought of her and her life. She didn't want to know what she thought about it.

Jack stood up and began pacing in front of her, "Iris Crowe, sister of Justin Crowe," Jack stopped and made eye contact with her, "older sister. Forty-eight years old, born Irina Belyakov, parents deceased. Justin is the only surviving relative, adopted by Norman Balthus after the death of your mother in a train accident. Graduate from highschool, honor student, accepted to college, but took up work as a maid instead to put her brother through seminary. Worked at the Dahlia's, recieved priviledges and a generous severance. Took a three month trip no one knew about, not even her own brother. Moved to St. Paul to live with your brother, life there was uneventful, you worked as a domestic there for several years in the home of an artist, a lawyer, another doctor, a few wealthy families." Jack stopped and looked at Iris, she wasn't as shocked as he thought she'd be, though he wasn't yet finished. "Having social parasites for parents can come in handy at times." he said as an aside before continuing. "You moved back to Mintern with your brother five years later and haven't worked outside of the church since, though there was a breif period of time when you were unable to work because of nightmares and nerves, the church sent you and your brother back to Mintern because they thought it might help your state of mind to be closer to home." Jack stopped again and looked at Iris. Now her mouth was working itself into the familiar dropjaw he was used to when it came down to this moment in an interrogation. "I did have a friend in the church, a very good friend." he explained, smarting Iris again that he'd heard her little comments after he'd supposedly left the house. Iris chastized herself for being so clumsly around Jack. Jack continued, "Never married, never publicly courted, but there was some talk about Tommy Dolan, and few gentlemen here and there in between." Jack stopped and stared at Iris, she was staring at him in an expression of near awe coupled with fear, and what Jack swore he sensed as relief. Relief he was about to inform her was premature. "And you've looked me in the eye and lied twice since we've met. The first..."

"You don't have to say it Jack." Iris interrupted, "I was fully aware of what I was doing when I lied to you. I'll not deny it now." She didn't flinch as she looked up at him, giving him a chance to read the set of her features when she told the truth. She tried to memorize the minute tensile positions of her facial muscles in her mind as she did this, so she might be able to recall them later, when inevitibly she would have to lie to him again.

"Were you having an affair with Dr. Dahlia?" he asked.

Iris looked down at her lap, she looked back up at him, "Why would that matter now? I don't possibly see how you're client could really be concerned with my romantic entanglements nearly thirty years ago."

"He's not." Jack said, moving closer to Iris to get a better look at her face. To be within touching distance of her.

"He's looking for a mother isn't he?" Iris said, her eyes searching Jacks's. He looked crestfallen.

"Well, I'm not her." Iris said trying to catch Jack's gaze again.

"What about the money, the three month "vacation?" Jack asked pointedly.

This was the part of him that Iris liked most actually, the part that was pressing for the truth in spite of his desire. The part of him that would doom any potential love between them. "Blackmail." Iris finally said. She hated attaching her own horns to the image of her in Jack's mind. Though why he wanted her she wan't sure, and the possibility that all of this had still been part of some scheme on Jack's part flashed through her mind again.

"For what?" Jack wasn't asking, as much as begging Iris to give up what she knew.

"He was sleeping with Rose, and I knew about it, as well as the others, and I had plenty of dirty linens and young girls' underpants to prove it." Iris rubbed her hands in her face before looking back up at Jack, but she couldn't read him. "I was young and desperate, you said yourself, Justin's tuition on a maid's salary, even with Norman's help, it wasn't easy."

"Why did it stop then? A young girl, money coming in easy, even if Rose had the baby, you still knew, he would still have to pay you off forever."

"Justin wanted me to come live with him, and I knew it wasn't right what I was doing. Dr. Dahlia offered me a huge amount of money to help Rose disappear." Iris looked away laughing softly, "She left him anyway, it was the right time to go."

Jack looked her in the eye steady and she knew he was was tyring to discern something.

"So the phone call and the trouble keeping hired help line was you protecting Rose?" Jack asked. "She was young and naive. Her life had never been easy. I just want her to be able to get on with her life." Iris grabbed her gloves off of the table and stood to leave.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked.

"Home Jack. Lunch will be ready soon." Iris started to walk to the door and Jack caught her arm gently. Iris was expecting the crude crush of a body she'd learned from Tommy Dolan and Varilyn Stroud. Instead he released her smiling for the first time since he'd opened his door to her.

"Hey." he said gently.

"Yes Jack?" Iris tried to sound cool and commanding, but she was sure she was failing.

He looked at her, a rush of expressions moving across his face, "Don't go."

"This is ridiculous Jack." Iris sighed, fed up with the rollercoaster playing inside of her own libido. She wanted very much to stay, but was determined that was exactly why she should go. This could only be bad. But she did want to know how those arms would feel around her. Precisely because he was unknown, his body already made a thousand promises to her.

"You're right." Jack said as he moved between her and the door, "I don't even know what your favorite color is."

Iris walked right up to him, allowing her body to press into his, ever so slightly. She leaned in close enough to kiss him, "I don't like color." she said.

They looked into each other's eyes for a charged second before they moved into a kiss. It started as soft, tender kiss, but within moments they were stumbling toward the bed. Iris's purse fell to the floor and contents scattered across the floor and she heard the seam along some part of her deress rip as they both fell onto the mattress. Their hands pulled and pushed at each other's bodies, clothes, hair as they lay next to each other locked in an endless kiss, breaking away ocassionally to trail kisses along each other's necks. Iris was used to a much different kind of romance; it took Jack what seemed like an eternity to her, just to work his hands up the front of her dress, so much so that the moment she felt his hands on her breasts through the thin fabric it was like an electric charge to her spine.

Jack sat back on his heels and took off his shirt, and Iris couldn't help the smile that came across her lips as she watched him in the falling light. She felt almost embarassed and moved her hands up to her face, but he pulled them away and pressed himself against her, settling back into place on top of her, kissing her so sweetly. Iris wanted to feel his skin against her own desperately. She pushed him back and sat up, awkardly pulling her dress over her head. She tossed it onto the floor, and pulled Jack back down on top of her, and he obliged, once again kissing at her neck and collar bone. "Wait a minute" he huffed lifting his head.

"What?" Iris asked, equally flustered.

Jack looked behind himself, before looking back at her cracking a smile, "You're still wearing shoes." He reached behind him pulling off her shoes, dropping them with loud thuds onto the floor. "That's not going to bother you is it." Iris laughed. Jack cast a ruefully look at the room in complete disarray and then looked back at Iris, her legs half hazardly wrapped around his legs, sitting up on her elbows, her hair coming out of its pins.

He smiled wickedly, "No. Not at all." he said and laid down on top of her again, kissing along her shoulders and finally pulling at the straps of her slip, tugging it down to expose her breasts. He sat back on his heels again, staring down her legs around his waist, her slip hiked up, exposing her plain white panties and nude gartered stalkings. He paused over her freckled breasts and smiled.

"What?" Iris said beginning to feel self-conscious.

"Freckles." he said before pressing himself down on her and kissing along her clavical. He didn't bite at her as she expected when she ran her fingers through his har, and his fingers slid along the curves of her body slowly and softly, never pulling or grabbing or pinching. Iris had never made love this way before, not that she minded the other way of doing things, but she was basking in the differences. The awareness of difference brought a wave of guilt and she wanted to tell Jack to stop, but he kissed her before she could and she was swept away in the tenderness of it all. They lay like that for a long time, locked in a half clothed embrace, the sun was already falling down below the windowsill by the time Jack began to trail kisses down her stomach and reach his hands under her slip to tug at her her underwear. And as she felt the pull of satin down her legs she knew she was never going to make it home in time, and there would be nothing for her to say. He would know. She wasn't sure how, but he would know.

Jack and Iris laid next to each other in his bed staring up at the ceiling listening to each other's breathing slow to silence. They both knew something was wrong, Jack just had no idea what, and Iris didn't know how to explain, but they both knew by the time they moaning each others names that this was going to cost someone something. "What is that thing on your side?" Iris asked.

"I got stabbed." Jack said.

"Oh my God." Iris said surprise lilting cutely from her tone in a way Jack hadn't heard before. He liked it.

"It wasn't as exciting as it sounds." Jack turned his head to face her. "It was back in college, we were out at a bar drinking and got into a fight. One of my friends accidentally stabbed me."

Iris laughed. "So that's what men do away at college?" she turned her head to face Jack, still smiling.

"What about you?" he said, looking at her with that look again. "Where'd you get those scars on your knees?"

Iris turned her head so she was staring at the ceiling again. "Let's make a deal hear and now Jack," she turned her gaze to him for a moment to catch his eyes, "No using that look when we're not dressed."

"Fair enough." Jack said, turning his head to stare at the ceiling again too.

"Blue." Iris said after a silence.

"What?" Jack said turning his head again.

Iris turned her head to meet his gaze. "My favorite color is blue. I was lying when I said I don't like color."

Jack watched Iris as she walked to her car, slightly disheveled. She didn't smile at him or wave good bye as she got in her car, just looked at him for a moment. Jack liked it that way. It felt more intimate to him as he closed the door and walked back to the bed and laid down, breathing deep into the pillow for a trace of her smell. I saw a single red hair glinting in the moonlight on the sheet. He picked it up and dangled it over his face. "Well, at least I know with absolute certainty you are not a ghost." he said to no one in particular before dropping the hair onto the floor. "He rolled over in the bed staring at the place she'd just been. "Who taught you to bite? The same one who did that to your knees.?" Jack closed his eyes and tried to shake the thought, but it was too late. He'd seen too many things in his work, and he found it increasingly difficult not to expect the absolute worst. 


	12. Chapter 12

The town was already dark as Iris made her way back to the new house on the hill overlooking New Canaan. As she watched the rythmic approach and dissappearance of trees along the shoulders of the road she found herself waiting for the earth to suddenly vanish beneath the wheels of her car, or maybe for the tectonic plates beneath her to break apart and drift into nothingness. But nothing happened. She realized that real fear hadn't gripped her until now, because somewhere in her mind she'd thought that she would never have to face Justin after doing what she'd just done with Jack. Iris had of course considered many lives away from her brother, but she'd never actually made a step toward any of them. It was strange, she thought, that the act of actually doing it had actually been much easier than she'd ever anticipated.

When she'd been with Jack earlier there had been a moment somewhere in between when they were kissing and when they were making love that Iris had worried what Jack might be able to figure out about her by the way her body felt, and the way it reacted to his. At that moment when he first pushed inside her she became terrified the way she was years ago when she'd used water to level the alcohol in the bottles of Dr. Dahlia's bar after the boys had spent the night drinking up his vodka and whiskey. She'd stood in rigid fear as he made himself a vodka tonic upon returning home from the funeral, waiting to see if he would taste the difference and find her out. Iris let out a sigh as she replayed those first few moments of lovemaking with Jack, he felt so strange inside of her, and as he began to move he'd sensed her fear, or the least sensed that something wasn't quite right. Iris was frightened of Jack's sensibilities, he didn't miss a thing, but she hoped he would misinterpret most.

He'd stopped and whispered in her ear, "It's okay."

And without understanding why Iris felt tears welling quietly in her eyes so she closed them and turned away from him, exposing her neck,  
and as he kissed her there, she grabbed hold of him tighter. Iris hadn't realized that those tears were inside of her and she wasn't sure what she'd been crying for, but it embarassed her. Jack must have figured that much about her, because he didn't try to kiss her until the minor spring of tears had run their course into the pillow and she was able to open her eyes. A wave of shame came over Iris as she realized that her wet eyes must have been obvious in the moonlight, herself recalling the many tears she'd seen shed at night.  
Iris hadn't worried that Jack had left any marks on her, that in itself a new feeling, but now she worried that her tears would make her eyes swell slightly. If Justin could tell that she was crying he would surely know that she hadn't been with Coreen, he knew she would never allow Coreen to see her any such state.

Iris pulled over the car and tried to see in the rearview mirror. Her eyes did look slightly swollen, Iris settled into her seat for a minute trying to regain her composure. She realized she was becoming paranoid, she'd only shed a few tears, she'd only cried for the breifest of seconds. Iris had been lost somewhere in a memory of rushed pushing and thrusting years ago and a more recent memory of being pressed into a wall as Jack began to move inside of her, she was trying to push all of these memories out of her mind but found herself getting confounded in memories of guilt and fear and force and nightmares when Jack's voice had roused her.

"Where are you?" he asked.

Iris had opened her eyes unsure of what was wrong. "What do you mean?"

"You bit me." he'd said, sounding confused. "I thought maybe I hurt you, or you wanted me to stop."

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" Iris had continued, wondering if such a thing was enough to stop a man like Jack. He didn't strike her as too delicate for that kind of thing, and she found herself almost feeling offended.

"Do you like that?" he'd asked her with genuine curiosity, and in that moment the fear had returned to Iris. She was sure that if she told him yes he would have obliged her and let her bite away whole chunks of his flesh without ever once asking to return the favor. But also in that moment she didn't want there to be any lies between them, even if only then. She'd surprised herself with what she'd let slip.

"No." she'd said, hearing the tone of wonder in her own voice.

Jack had leaned back down into her, sliding his arms all the way around her in a tight embrace, and Iris had wrapped her arms around his neck, turning her face into his hair and whispering, "Please don't stop." into his ear. They had continued making love that way for a long time, neither one pushing for a climax or an end to what they were doing, but just sort of loosing themselves in each other's skin and smell and breath. If not for the trickle of fear along her spine the whole time and the gravity of doom that loomed over them there on the bed Iris would allow herself to think that it had been a beautiful thing happening between them. Iris pulled back onto the road trying to push away the memory and the guilt of what she'd just spent the day doing, trying to recall what her demeanor had been like before she'd let herself go and allowed someone else to see so much of her. She tried to bury the memory of Jack's fingers moving across every inch of her body deep within her, she was sure that he could draw a map of her whole life from what he'd seen in her on this day.

As the lights of the camp drew near Iris chastized herself for being so foolish, for not making a better choice. Iris knew that now that she'd given in she could never take it back, and it would be that much harder to walk away. Iris tried to steel herself for what would be coming when she got home, she knew she should have thought better of it before telling Sofie anything, Coreen Templeton wouldn't cover for her, and most likely Justin would find a way to confront her about it before Iris had any chance to allay the situation, to embarass her if nothing else. When Justin became angry he was a child, and therefore above nothing. What Iris feared more was that Justin would have called no one, and sent no one to look for her, because that meant that he understood just how grave her absence today had been. A slight sweat started in on the bottoms of Iris's feet and the palms of her hands as she grew nearer the house. All of the lights were out except for the livingroom. Iris parked the car and sat for a moment debating whether or not to try and lie. Should she should think of a reason why she never made it to Coreen's, or perhaps something that held her up longer than expected? She tried to think of an errand that might take a long time.

It occured to Iris suddenly that before today she would be completely offended at having to report her whereabouts to anyone, and she decided that she would simply tell Justin that it was none of his business where she'd been or what she'd been doing. Iris decided if worse came to worse she would merely concede that she'd gone for a long drive to nowhere. As Iris neared the steps she realized that it was very likely any number of people from the camps saw her car near the motel, then again the parking area was hidden from the view of the main street. If Justin didn't send someone out to look for her, which she was fairly certain he wouldn't do, no one would have been likely to pay attention to her. Iris knew the women from around town paid extra attention to her now, but as always, to most of the men she was invisible, and in this moment she was thankful. Iris tried one last time to push Jack completely out of her mind as she said a brief prayer and opened the front door.

Justin was sitting his chair in the livingroom, but he had moved it so that it was facing directly down the front hallway, and the front door. He was still fully dressed for the day, his collar buttoned up to the neck, and he was still wearing his jacket. Justin was sitting ramrod straight, with his hands flat on his thighs in front of him.  
He wasn't bothering with the pretense of a book or the paper, which wasn't a good sign.

"Hi." Iris tried to say casually as she turned away from him hanging up her coat on the coat rack. She took as long as possible setting her purse down on the table near the front door next to a stack of letters. She took her gloves off carefully pulling at each finger before pulling at the entire glove. As she set them both down next to her purse she saw the letter Jack had sent her earlier in the day and a cool prickling sweat broke over her whole body and her stomach turned violently and suddenly. Iris tried to keep moving, taking off her hat with trembling fingers before turning to face Justin again.  
He hadn't even attempted to say anything to her, instead he was just watching her, tilting his head from one side to the other as she straighted herself in the large mirror next to the coat rack. Iris tried to stifle her fear. "Sorry I missed dinner." Iris smiled walking down the hall toward Justin allowing her eyes to fix at the landing at the bottom of the stairs a few feet in front of him. Iris felt sure that if she could make it to that landing, she could make it to her room. Iris was convinced with a night of sleep, or even just a few hours to herself she could reorient herself to her surroundings and safely quarantine her feelings from her actions. Iris knew it was foolish to think she would get away with anything, but she tried to believe she might so as to better appear innocent. "I got caught up"  
she said breathily, smiling at her brother. Justin still didn't so much as twitch the corner of his mouth, instead cataloguing every last inch of her as she moved even closer. "Well, I'm going to bed." she said as she neared his chair. Iris leaned down to kiss Justin on the cheek, resting one hand on the arm of his chair and the other on his shoulder, but before her lips reached his cheek she felt his hand around her wrist, gripping it tightly.

"You should have called ahead." he said, his voice barely containing a torrent of curses. He still didn't look up at her. "Where were you?"

"None of your business Justin." Iris said trying to sound nonchalant and offended. She tried to muster a faint laugh, as though the question was completely out of the blue.

"Who wanted to see you?" he asked beginning to pull Iris down to the floor. Iris was no match for him and gave up allowing him to pull her to her knees in front of him. Iris decided to give in and try another tactic, she'd never seen her brother's face so full of anger, even in the moments when the darkness took over there was a kind of wildness to it. This anger was calm and collected and Iris felt another wave of anxiety crash through her heart. It was beating heavy and Iris wondered how much more her body would take of this kind of living before finally giving out. Iris tried to show him how weak and powerless she felt at his feet, looking up into his eyes with wide soft eyes and lifted eyebrows.

"I don't know what you mean." she said.

Justin grabbed her wrist harder and pulled her toward him so that she was lifted off her knees and haphazardly leaning into his lap.  
"Someone sent you a letter saying they wanted to see you, and you jumped up and disappeared for the day." Justin whispered into Iris's face, his eyes moving back and forth quickly across her own eyes.  
"Who was it?"

"No one." Iris said, feeling her eyes stinging slightly. She felt like a little girl, guilty and afraid, but she also felt like herself,  
his older sister, being humiliated as if she had not experienced everything that he had only first and without anyone to guide her.  
Iris pulled her wrist free of Justin and fell backwards onto the floor. She started to get up and Justin stood up to tower over her.

"Tell me!" he yelled, so loudly that Iris jerked back and for the first time in her life felt the impulse to literally run from Justin.

"You'll wake Sofie." Iris whispered, grapsing for anything she could think of to check Justin's behavior, but he didn't seem phased.

"Sofie has the night off, I sent her to town." Justin said before grabbing Iris by the arm hard and lifting her up from the floor. He grabbed her by the shoulders and looked down into her face. Iris tried to fight back the tears of fear and frustration threatening to rush out of her, she was shaking and she knew it. She hated that Justin could see how frightened he made her, how powerless she felt in his presence anymore. Justin looked down at the collar of her dress,  
peeking under her slip at her breasts. Iris followed his gaze unsure of what it was he was looking at, she looked back up at him.

"What?" she said. "I don't understand what's wrong." Her voice began to break and she knew she was going to be in tears soon and it was killing her. She swallowed hard trying to conquer the lump in her throat.

"Where's your necklace?" he said, sounding like an angry parent.

Iris stiffened immediately. Trying to remember what she'd done with it. She retraced her steps earlier in the day, Iris never took her necklace off, except, she remembered, today, she hadn't wanted to wear it with Jack. She hadn't been sure what was going to happen when she arrived at his room, but something inside of her had told her to take off the necklace, and she remembered, put it in her purse. Iris caught herself wondering for a split second what Jack had ascertained from that circumstance, she was sure he didn't miss it. "I put it in my purse today," Iris said looking up into Justin's eyes like a compliant doe, "the chain was bothering me."

Justin shook Iris away from him and walked the short distance down the hall grabbing up Iris's purse. "Let me have a look at it then." he said as he began taking out one item after another and laying them on the table next to the mail.

"Justin, what are you doing?" Iris cried rushing over to him where he stood and trying to grab at her purse, "How dare you go through my things!" Justin merely brushed her away, before turning the purse upside down and letting the rest of the contents fall to the wood floor.

"No," Justin said turning to her, "how dare you!"

He watched as Iris moved about on her hands and knees gathering up her things. She looked up at him as she neared his feet. "What has gotten in to you?" she asked finding her righteous anger, finally.

"It's not here Iris." Justin said lifting her up by the arm again.

"You're hurting me Justin." Iris said as she tried to pull away from him.

"Where is it Iris?" Justin insisted, grabbing both of her shoulders and shaking her.

"I don't know, maybe it fell out in the car." Iris volunteered, now also unsure of what had become of her necklace.

"Well, let's go look then." he said, grabbing her roughly and pulling her out the front door.

"Justin, stop it!" Iris yelled as she tried to break free from his grip, but Justin was determined, pulling her in fierce long tugs across the grass to match his stride. "Who do you think you are"  
Iris yelled as she continued trying to fight free from his grip, but Justin seemed unphased. He yanked open the door and grabbed Iris shoving her into the cab of the car.

"Find it Iris!" he yelled, holding the door open and hovering over her. Iris looked under the seat and along the floorboards before turning around and looking up at him.

"It's not here." she said, her eyes red and swollen, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"How could you have lost it?" Justin yelled at her, "You were to never take it off." He turned around in the dark before stopping in front of her sitting limply along the running board on the driver's side of the car. "Ever." he said more quietly.

"I don't know." Iris said looking down at her feet and wondering herself how she could have lost it, but knowing where it was.

"Well, we're going to find it." Justin said, grabbing Iris again and dragging her back toward the house. "We're going to go everywhere you went today," he said as though he was scolding a small child, "and we're going to find it."

"Justin." Iris protested as they neared the steps and he pulled her roughly across them, "It's pitch dark outside, there's no way we are going to find it in the moonlight."

Justin pulled her through the front door and into the living room. He threw her roughly onto the couch and she stayed there for a moment frozen in the position she'd landed in. Justin looked down at her his face snarling into a grimace. "Don't look at me that way Iris." he snapped, "What did you think?"

"You've never raised a hand to me before." she finally choked out.

The shrill ring of the telephone cut through the silence. They both remained still staring at each other as the phone rang again, each daring the other to move. Finally Justin walked into the hall and picked up the phone. Justin carried the phone into the arch way so he could watch Iris as he talked. Iris kept her head bowed but sat up on the couch fidgeting with her dress, she looked down and saw that one of the buttons had popped off. She spotted it next to her feet on the floor and leaned down to pick it up, not making eye contact with Justin.

"Good Evening Coreen." Justin's voice had found it's familar deep calm. Iris looked up, her heart pounding against her sternum. Justin looked at Iris and his gaze softened, "Yes, she's right here, she just got home." Justin looked down for a moment and for the second time that night Iris had the impulse to make a run for it, straight for Jack's door. "Yes, yes, you can speak with her." he said. Iris looked up and Justin was staring at her, a lift in his eyebrows, he was holding the reciever against his heart, muffling it. "Coreen wanted to make sure you got home alright in the dark, she was worried about letting you drive home alone in the dark." He was eying her suspiciously and Iris tried to hide any surprise that might be attempting to break across her features. She decided that an innocent woman would be indignant after being proved true, so Iris merely took the phone from him and gave him a stern look. She kept her back to him and slowly put the reciever up to her ear.

"Hello." she said quietly.

"I had a wonderful time at lunch today Iris." Coreen said without a trace of sarcasm.

"Uh, me too Coreen." Iris said unsure and shocked.

"I'm glad you stayed to keep me company while Val's out of town, this big house can get lonely. Nothing to do but watch cars pass by all day." Now Iris could hear the Coreen in Coreen's voice.

"Of course, it was nothing Coreen." Iris said growing more confident,  
but realizing that this whole situation had just become impossible.

"A woman alone needs to be careful in town." Coreen said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, you're right." Iris said now turning around to take in Justin who was watching her, expressionless.

"Ah, Coreen, you haven't seen my necklace by any chance have you"  
Iris asked, trying not to flinch, but rather to put on a good show for her brother.

"No," Coreen said charged with surprise, Iris could hear the clinking of ice in a glass and knew that Coreen must have just slammed down her gin and tonic, "you can't find it!"

"No, I can't seem to find it." Iris said trying to sound heartbroken and not terrified, she wasn't quite sure what she was doing, but Iris didn't see any other way out.

"Well, you'll have to come over tomorrow so we can look for it"  
Coreen said with a fevered excitement that made Iris sigh loudly.

"Yes, that would be a great relief." Iris said. "Thank you so much Coreen."

Iris hung up the phone and handed the contraption to Justin. She looked at him ready to say something, but decided against it, instead turning away and walking toward the stairs. She heard Justin replace the phone back in the lacuna in the wall as she made her way up the stairs. He rushed up behind her as she reached the top landing and grabbed her by the shoulder, more gently this time. "What was that about?" he said. Iris eyed her door before looking back at him.

"Coreen just wanted to make sure I got home okay, and said I could come over tomorrow to look for my necklace." Iris shifted on her feet, cocking her eyebrows at Justin, asking if he was satisfied with her alibi.

"I didn't realize you and Coreen were so close." he said, not trying to hide his lingering anger.

"We're not, but since lunch the other day she's determined to get some big secret out of me." Iris said, adjusting the line of her dress where a button had been ripped away, trying to tug a bit of guilt out of her brother.

"That detective has really gotten her worked up." Justin said before Iris could look away. She tried hard to look unphased at the mention of Jack.

"That detective," Iris said, pausing dramatically and dropping her head in a mock show of exhaustion, "is giving me a headache. And now I can look forward to another day spent with Coreen talking about people and places that I would rather forget." Iris hoped her agitation was convincing though she knew that her brother knew her well enough to see through her if he really opened his eyes. Luckily for her, until now, that was a task he found almost impossible.

"I'll go with you." Justin said, and Iris knew that Justin was far from convinced about any of this without another word needing to pass between them. Iris looked up at him and smiled brightly.

"That would be wonderful. I know Coreen tends to be on her best behavior around you," Iris tilted her head to the side, "except for lunch the other day of course." Iris wanted to let him know that she wasn't afraid of his continued suspicion, even if she was bluffing,  
and secretly, utterly terrified, not just for her, but for Jack. "But then again, Jack won't be there to encourage her." she said before breaking away from Justin and heading toward her room. Justin stood watching as Iris opened her door.

"It's a good thing Iris." Justin called down the hall as Iris stepped into her room. She stopped and turned to look at him again as he stood forbodingly at the top of the stairs like the King of the Mountain. "I don't know how much more of his meddling I can tolerate.  
People should learn from Tommy's example." Justin paused for a moment smiling and looking around the hall and running his eyes up and down Iris's disheveled figure. "And I'll buy you a new dress tomorrow. I don't ever want to see that one again." Iris looked down at herself and the memory of Jack's hands moving up the bodice of it,  
moved over her again, pulling at something in her navel. Iris looked up at Justin and smiled weakly. "Good night my dear." He finally said before turning around and heading back down the stairs.

Iris closed her door and locked it behind her before taking off her torn dress and throwing it in the wastebasket next to her vanity. She stood in the center of her room in her slip and shoes for several minutes, reeling. 


	13. Chapter 13

Jack woke up early. He rolled over and turned on the lamp next to the bed and blinked a few times in the dim light. The room was still in utter disarray. The top sheet of the bed had somehow found its way to the floor and was crumpled up between the bed and the chair. He laughed to himself remembering the way he'd gathered it up and thrown it there in frustration at some point as him and Iris became tangled in it as they rolled back and forth across the bed.

Jack swung his legs around to the side and sat up on the bed, trying to gather his thoughts together. It had been careless of him to sleep with Iris, and he wasn't one to normally give in to his feelings in that way. Jack tried to imagine how explaining this would sound should Iris somehow be implicated as Caleb's mother despite her denials. Jack didn't really have to report to anyone anymore, but his friend Bruce had been helping him along the way with this case and more than being a friend Bruce had been a kind of mentor to Jack, and he wasn't looking forward to admitting to him that he'd slept with Iris, and Jack knew he would have to make this confession to Bruce the next time they spoke. To not mention it would be a kind of lie, and it was a sort of gesture of respect that you didn't lie to your peers,  
the whole practice just got so tired after awhile.

Jack got up slowly and gathered the sheet tossing it back onto the bed. Something on the floor caught his eye. He recognized Iris's necklace lying there on the ground. "Shit." he said, leaning down to pick it up. He cradled it his palm, walking back toward the bed, Jack turned the black cameo over in his hands, sitting back down on the edge of the unmade bed. There was something engraved on the back.  
Jack held it under the lamp shade to better scrutinize it. The engraving had almost worn away with time, confirming to Jack that it was more of an heirloom than jewelry that was always around Iris's neck, like a collar of the past. "Some one is missing you, Sweet sister...Love, Justin" Jack read aloud to himself. Jack laid back down on the bed, bringing his hands to his face. "Why can't it ever be easy?" he muttered. "Think Jack, think." he scolded himself as he got back up and surveyed the room, trying to think of what to do next.

Jack pictured Iris going out of her mind with worry, and Justin querying her about where her sacred cameo had gone. The unrelentingly chivalrous part of Jack's nature couldn't abide Iris being upset for a second. It was something he really didn't want to see. Her tears,  
well the tears of any woman really, killed some primitive part of him.  
But with Iris especially, after that day in the diner, with that waitress, he had decided that he wanted to be some kind of knight for her, if he could. And he knew he could. He didn't want her to worry for anything, Jack felt she'd spent far too much time doing that already. Jack's sole priority in making that happen, his main interest when it came to Iris anymore, was getting her away from her brother. Jack looked down at his bicep, Iris's teeth imprints were still there, mottled and deep purple. He looked at the clock, it was 5 a.m.

Iris woke up to the sound of her door closing, it was still dark outside. She pushed the covers to the side and got out of bed quietly, walking to the door. She pressed her ear to it and heard Justin's own door closing. He had been watching her again. Iris walked back to her bed and sat down, she looked at the clock. It was 5 a.m. She thought about trying to call Jack to see if he had found her necklace and might find some way to get it back to her, but she realized Justin was probably waiting for her to do just that. Perhaps that's what he'd been doing all night, watching and waiting for her to do something, maybe even utter a name in her sleep, or perhaps worse,  
to see into her dreams. She didn't know quite what was in the realm of Justin's powers, but she didn't underestimate them.

When Iris was getting dressed for the day she noticed that her dress was missing from the waste basket. A flutter of anxiety went through her wondering if Justin would be able to decipher something from the fabric. She worried he might smell Jack's aftershave wrapped around the fibers, though, she didn't recall him wearing any. She wondered if he would be able to smell the sex on it. The frustration of the days to come welled up in her. Of course she wouldn't be able to ask Justin about the dress, or admit to missing it in any way, but they would both know that he'd taken it.

At breakfast Justin was cold and distant, not speaking to Iris or even looking up at her as he cleaned his plate. Iris found herself hovering near Justin as she cleared his plate waiting for him to tug at her wrist or even grab her by the waist and pull her into his lap.  
She felt ruefull to know how they would normally spend a morning away from the maid on better days. Iris wanted to fix what went wrong yesterday with reassuring smiles, but she knew that Justin most likely sensed her desperation, which would only draw him more tightly into himself, and once lost in himself Justin was easily consumed by his own suspsicions, angers and fears. He would emerge only worse, more unreasonable, and dangerous.

As Iris stood in the kitchen tending to her nervousness she went to cradle her cameo and and with a sudden rush of adreneline realized anew that it was gone. She pictured Justin arriving at Jack's door with a herd of thugs and holding Jack down as he upturned his entire room and finding her cameo, dangled it in Jack's face before doing God knows what to him. And God knows what to her. A chill went over her whole body.

"Should we go then?" Justin said. Iris jumped at the sound of his voice. "You're on tenterhooks today, aren't you?" he said, smiling at her with narrowed eyes as she swooned. She caught focus of him in the doorway and tried to smile.

"I'm just still a little sleepy I guess." she said, "I didn't sleep well last night."

"You were rather fitful." Justin said, not apoligizing or attempting to hide the fact that he'd spent a good portion of the night next to her bed watching the movements of her eyes underneath their closed lids.

On the drive to the Templeton's Iris found herself growing unbearably anxious, knowing that her necklace was going to be nowhere, which wouldn't put an end to this whole sharade, but would rather fuel Justin's fury even further. Iris wasn't sure what he'd do to her, but he knew she wouldn't just loose such a thing, and not finding it at Coreen's would be as ample proof of her infedelity as if Justin had walked in her and Jack making love in his own bedroom. Iris tried one last time to make it right between them, using the only thing she had,  
her own body. Slowly as they drove she let her hand slide across the seat until it was on top of Justin's. He let it set there for a brief second before pulling his hand away to his lap. Iris looked at him through the corner of her eye. He was leaning into the window. At least he was finding it difficult to resist her. A sinking feeling moved through her as she realized it was going to take a miracle to get out of this cleanly. 


	14. Chapter 14

Iris left Justin to talk to Coreen on the loud floral print couch while she joined the maid, Anna, in the impossible search for the necklace which wasn't there. Anna was a thin girl, much like Iris. She was reaching behind book shelves in desperation. Iris spied Justin out of the corner of her eye looking at her more sternly the more outrageious the places her and Anna's hands sought out. Anna and Iris looked up at each other at the same time, finally giving up. A trickle of sweat ran down Iris's spine, more from fear than excertion. They looked toward Coreen and Justin sipping tea on the couch. Anna smiled weakly at Iris, who took her cue.

"Ahem," Iris said, clearing her throat. Justin and Coreen looked up at Iris and Anna standing limply before them. "Do you two mind if we look under you?"

"Oh my," Coreen said, setting down her cup of tea on the coffee table. "Of course you may. What was I thinking!" Coreen began to struggle to get up. Justin stood up quickly and offered Coreen his hand, she took it, and almost pulled him down with the force that was required to lift her from the couch. Iris shot a look at Anna, who was allowing herself a quiet chuckle. Iris widened her eyes at the girl, recalling her own tenure at the Dahlia's with a similar mistress.

"You'll have to forgive Anna." Coreen said bluntly to the room. "She finds my weight endlessly amusing." Iris suddenly appreciated how quick sha had been to write Coreen Templeton off, she was turning out to be much better of a person than money normally bought. "The girl practically starves me, and has me drinking more tonics than a lovestruck witch." The girl only smiled bigger at her mistress. Iris realized that it must be quite a love affair between the two, and Iris felt that she'd missed out on something with all of her mistresses.

"Come on Anna. Let's go tend to the teacakes." Coreen said, waving her arm at Anna. Anna crossed the livingroom and her and Coreen emptied out of the living room. Justin stood next to the couch watching Iris. Iris felt another swarm of butterflies float up through her, knowing that after this moment, Justin would have her. There would be no other explanation for where her necklace had gone.

Justin was smirking at her, ready for whatever would surely follow. What had Iris most terrified was that she had no idea what Justin was going to do to her. Iris breathed in and moved toward the couch. She tried to make a show of it, hiking up her skirt, trying once again to entice him with her body. She pressed her knee into the couch, and began to press her hand into the creases between the cushions. Suddenly her fingers landed on something hard and smooth. She ran them down the sides of it. Shock and relief ran through her entire body as she recognized the familiar dimensions of her cameo. Iris looked back over her shoulder at Justin, feeling newly confident. 

Justin was looking at her almost lustfully, almost. Taking in the exposed garter below her knee, and the naked white flesh of her thigh just above it. As she turned her head just so to regard him, he felt something like old desire shoot down to his belly. Slowly Iris lifted the black chain and cameo out from the couch cushion. She twisted around in her postion and sat down on the couch, letting out a sigh of relief and cradled the cameo in her hands, looking down at it, before looking up at Justin, smiling.

Justin walked up to her briskly and grabbed the cameo. He turned it over in his hands, smiling to himself before looking at Iris. He ran the chain through his fingers stopping suddenly on one of the links and bringing the chain closer to his face. "It looks like there's a kink here." he said, before closing his hand around the necklace and dropping it into one of his pockets. "I'll take it to the jeweler while you pick out a dress." he said patting his pocket, but still not giving away much in his features. Iris really couldn't tell if he was surprised, disappointed, suspicious, or relieved. He could have been any one of those things, or none. The only thing that was consistent in his manner was the focus of his gaze. Her, and only her, out of the periphery, dead center, sidelong, glancing back, it didn't matter. She was on his short leash, and she kept her head bowed to accept the collar of his fears, like a well trained animal.

"And how are things in here?" Coreen said as she charged back into the room, her eyes twinkling.

"Iris found her cameo." Justin said with embelleshed gusto. "Right here between the couch cushion."

Coreen shot Iris a bewildered look, and Iris exchanged the same look. Iris wondered if perhaps Justin had found it in the car or on the floor of the house and had meant to torture her throughout the morning. Iris let her eyes roam over to Justin, but he betrayed nothing in his demeanor.

"Well that's wonderful." Coreen finally said, "I knew you'd find it. You didn't go anywhere but here. I couldn't rest knowing you'd lost something so precious on my watch." Coreen moved to sit down on the couch next to Iris. Anna trailed behind her carrying a tray of teacakes. The thought of food made Iris sick to her stomach and she waved them away.

"That's quite alright dear." Justin said holding up his hands as Anna offered him the tray. 

The door bell rang. 

Anna put down the tray and disappeared out of the room.

"Are you expecting someone else?" Iris asked.

"Not this morning." Coreen said looking as puzzled as ever, "but you know, being the wife of a politician, you never know who'll stop by in search of hospitality."

"Excuse me Miss." Anna said as she stepped into the room, "but Detective Tiernan and Ms. Sofie are here."

Justin straightened where he stood, clearly bristling. Iris looked between Coreen and Justin. She looked again at Coreen, pleading.

"I'm so sorry you two. I swear I had no idea." Coreen said quickly, shifting in her seat on the sofa.

"Coffee with the Crowes I see." Jack said as he pushed into the room with slightly more swagger than usual. Sofie followed behind him mutely, stopping next to Anna.

"Good morning Detective." Justin said, smiling widely and turning around to face the interloper. Iris took note of them standing across from each other, both the same height and build, but completely different in bearing. Jack was wearing a dark grey suit and a white shirt with a pale blue tie, his graying hair curling slightly. He'd clearly been rushed that morning for some reason, he hadn't taken the usual time to groom himself. Jack still looked immaculate compared to most men, but there was a softness to his edges this morning that seemed almost natural. Justin cut a much more dashing figure in this particular room, in this particular light with his dark suit and slicked down hair. Iris half expected to see them begin walking circles around each other like thugs at the beginning of a knife fight behind the gambling hall. "I see you've stolen away our maid." Justin said eying Sofie as she stood nearly leaning on Anna. They looked like thin little twins.

"Yes, er, is it father or brother?" Jack said obviously eying the distance between Justin and Iris as Justin stepped in front of where Iris was sitting, trying to block his view of her as she sat stock still, all the color draining from her face. "I forget." Jack smiled straining the lift of his cheeks to emphasize how much good will he lacked for Justin.

"Brother." Justin said calmly, adjusting his lapels slightly, but standing his ground in front of Iris. Jack tilted his head slightly to take Iris in, before meeting Justin's gaze and smirking.

"Ah yes, Brother Justin. And," Jack paused narrowing his eyes at Iris, "and Sister Iris. Sounds rather like a nun, doesn't it?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Oh Jack," Coreen chimed in, "I disagree, I think the name Iris is a bit warm for a nun's name. No offense Justin." She quickly rebounded.

"It's alright Coreen." Justin said looking back at Iris and Coreen seated behind him, taking in Iris's rigid posture. "Catholics are rather solemn." Iris forced her body to relax and her mouth into a smile. 

"And how is it you came by our dear Sofie this morning?" Justin turned back to face Jack.

"Well, I found your lovely maid here enjoying breakfast by herself in the diner and I offered to escort her home. We saw your car in the driveway here." Jack said turning back to smile at Sofie. Sofie smiled politely until Jack turned back around, before letting her face fall into an expression of guilt and wonder directed at Justin.

"I imagine she was enjoying breakfast until you showed up." Iris piped up scowling at Jack.

"I saw that lovely new dress she was wearing and I just had to join her." Jack said locking eyes with Iris. "Such a pretty young thing." Jack added.

"Iris," Coreen interrupted, nudging Iris slightly and shaking her out of her stare down with Jack, "aren't you going dress shopping this afternoon?"

"Yes," Iris said still not looking at Coreen, but not quite looking at Jack either, "I am."

"Well Justin," Jack said, smiling at Justin, "you certainly like to keep your maids in style, don't you?"

"Hard work deserves reward Mr. Tiernan." Justin said curtly, before looking back at his sister who was now glaring at Jack. "Not that my sister is a maid, nor do I look at Sofie as such. She is very much a part of the family, and we treat her that way."

"Yes of course." Jack said straightening up. "I wouldn't expect anything less of a man of God." Jack looked around the room again at all of the faces in their various states of anger and discomfort. He felt a little satisfaction, one thing he couldn't abide was useless people. Not that he thought of Iris that way, but Coreen and Justin definitely fell into that category in his mind. "And tell me, what is the occassion for such reward?"

"That, Mr. Tiernan," Iris started, standing up, "is really none of your concern, now is it?" She smiled sweetly, wickedly.

"I suppose you're right Sister Iris." Jack said, looking around the room again. "The secret lives of women doesn't really interest me all that much after all." Jack began to make an exit, stopping as he neared the edge of the front hallway, where Sofie and Anna were still standing huddled together, watching the exchange with looks of confusion, and in Anna's case, horror. "The intrigue of hem lines and all that." he laughed.

"That's right Jack," Iris said walking up to Justin and leaning against him slightly, "don't you have to read through some little girl's diary or something?" she smiled and blinked her eyes at him, doe like.

"Fair enough Iris." Jack smiled at her, lingering for the briefest of seconds on her breasts, allowing the corner of his smile to twitch. "Well Sofie, it was quite an interesting breakfast." Jack said as he turned to go. "I trust you'll have a lovely day scrubbing floors and toilets for your family." Jack walked past the two girls nearly hugging now. When the sound of the front door closing rang through the room everyone's posture relaxed in tandem. There was silence for a moment as people looked from one face to the next, trying to figure out the appropriate thing to say or do.

"I'm sorry." Sofie started, "I tried to stop him, but I didn't want to be rude." Sofie smiled plaintively at Justin and Iris.

"Of course dear," Justin said soothingly, "and no one would expect you to be any other way." Justin smiled at her. Iris looked up into her brother's eyes, wondering if the little display between her and Jack had convinced him of anything. He looked down at her without a glint of a smile or frown, before breaking his gaze and stepping away from her.

"Well it seems there's no love lost between you two." Coreen said, throwing Iris a side long look. She was trying to help, and Iris felt almost guilty that Coreen had no idea how incredibly damaged and depraved the whole situation was. Iris decided that saying nothing would be the best solution to the situation.

"Well," Justin said reaching down to haphazardly hug Coreen, more falling into it than intending. "Thank you so much for indulging us, sister. We will have you over soon."

"Oh, anytime," Coreen said, smiling at Justin, "Iris is simply a delight," she cast a knowing look toward Iris. "Good friends are a tresture to be protected and cherished."

"Indeed," Justin agreed, casting an altogether different look toward his sister before walking toward Sofie and Anna. "Anna." he said, taking her hand in his, and clasping his other hand around it so that her cool limp hand was lost in his large warm grasp. "As always it is lovely to see you," he leaned in closer and whispered in her ear, "and taking such good care of our dear Coreen." He was flirting.

Sofie noticed and shot him a glance. They smiled conspiratorily at each other as Anna blushed at the utter heat and aggression of Justin's presence. She kept her head down. Justin pushed past her and made his way to the door, opening it and letting the sun shine in brightly. The singing birds and bustling activity on the street seemed to belie the cool, quiet tension of the Templeton household.

"It's been lovely Coreen," Iris said, leaning down and hugging the large woman as she remained seated on her sofa. Iris kissed her cheek delicately, and Coreen tugged Iris's sleeve breifly as a reminder that there was something between them now. Coreen maintained eye contact with Iris as Iris stood before her, Iris closed her eyes slowly, and bowed her head ever so slightly in a show of deference to Coreen. A mute thankyou. Iris turned and headed toward Justin and Sofie waiting at the door, smiling at her with a strange almost grotesque affect, that reminded her of the laughing hyenas she'd been warned not to impersonate in charm school so many years ago. 

Sofie stepped out onto the porch first, surveying the yard and street as Iris followed behind, a cool sweat moving across her body. Iris was completely unsure of what she was going to unravel next. Justin stood at the door ushering her out, and as she passed him, he placed his hand along the small of her back for a brief second, and it was enough to sooth her spirit. For the moment. 


	15. Chapter 15

Sofie sat on the ottoman outside of the fitting room in the crowded boutique. Dresses lined the walls from floor to ceiling, four deep, and the large free standing racks were crammed full of floral prints and frills. Sofie checked herself for having ever had a curiosity towards these things. She watched as Iris moved down a narrow hall toward the back, and disappeared behind folds of skirts. Sofie turned her attention to the shop window, watching people pass by. The shop girl was flipping through a magazine at the counter, twirling her dirty blonde hair around her finger. Sofie was beginning to feel restless. She didn't want to spend more time around Iris than she had to. Everything about her was grating on her nerves now. Sofie looked back down the hallway Iris had disappeared down.

"How deep is that hallway?" Sofie asked the girl. The girl looked up startled, she cast her gaze around the shop before noticing Sofie next to the window.

"Oh, there's a whole 'nother room back there." the girl said unethusiastically. Sofie rolled her eyes.

"Could you do me a favor? I'm going to run across the way to get a soda." Sofie smiled at the girl trying to turn on her charm. "If that lady I'm with,"

"Ms. Crowe?" the girl offered.

"Yeah, Ms. Crowe." Sofie smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear and shrugging her shoulders, "Could you let her know I'll be right back?"

The girl looked toward the narrow hall, "Sure." she said before dropping her eyes back down to her magazine.

"Thanks," Sofie said, before heading for the door. She got it half way open before she remembered Justin. "Oh yeah," Sofie said. The girl lifted her head again, lifting her eyebrows in annoyance. "If her brother, Mr. Crowe, comes in, could you let him know too?"

"Yeah," the girl said, straightening herself behind the counter and tucking her own hair behind her ears, "no problem."

Sofie turned again and headed out into the dusty street teaming with life. She looked through the window of the jeweler next door. Justin was leaning against the counter, as the jeweler examined something with his loupe. Sofie hurried across the street before Justin could see her and stop her. What she really wanted was a cigarette. Sofie tried to calculate how long it would take her to smoke a cigarette, and for the smell to leave her clothes. She decided she had enough time and approached the man she saw smoking in the alley way, holding several bags from another boutique. Some one else seeking solace from the tedium of women shopping.

Iris pushed through the skirts and dresses lining the hallway walls of the boutique, squeezing her in silk and toule and cotton before she emerged in the back room, practically barren with it's few simple dresses and shelves of shoes. The back door leading into the alley way was cracked and lines of light were cutting through the dim. The dresses lining the hallway made excellent insulation, making the back room remarkably quiet. Iris stood contemplating two of the dresses in front of her, but letting her mind wander. Normally Iris could shop a store within minutes, but today she couldn't concentrate, thoughts of Jack kept pushing out anything else. She found herself wondering which dress he would prefer, though she knew it was incouragable of her to be picking a dress to wear for Jack, when Jack was the reason she was in need of a new dress. A new thought crept into her now. It had killed her to be so near to Jack this morning and not near him. She felt an aching pain in her chest, the feeling of want. She wanted so much to be near him. Iris shook her head, knowing despite her best efforts she was completely taken with Jack.

"I like them both." Iris jumped and turned around. Jack was standing there, nonchalantly leaning against one of the shoe racks. He smiled warmly at her in all of her fluster. Iris faced him, not speaking. Jack let his eyes drop to her heaving chest for a moment, and he saw a flash of her breasts pressed up against him as she breathed heavily in a sense memory. Jack stood up fully and walked to her. She just watched him wide eyed as he grew closer. "I trust you found everything you were looking for at Coreen's" he said, drawing near to her, standing close enough to kiss her. Iris still just looked up into his eyes.

Jack began to feel uncomfortable. It suddenly occured to him that Iris might have had a change of heart about what had happened between them. He hadn't allowed himself to wonder about that, though he knew better. Knew that women could get cold feet. Jack wasn't a womanizer, but he'd used women before, had been slapped a few times and accused of all manner of seduction. "You're not having regrets are you?" he asked.

"You put my necklace there?" Iris finally asked. Iris looked into his eyes searching them, her face lifted in a kind of question. "Are you a magician?"

"There was misdirection and arcane knowledge involved, yes." Jack said, his eyes twinkling. "But I must say, contriving to get you alone in here, " he looked around, "strained all of my powers of telepathy and mind control." Iris smiled up at him. Jack leaned down and kissed her softly, pulling Iris to him, to feel the press of her body against his. Iris broke away first.

"Jack, we really should be more careful. Sofie is right outside, and Justin is next door." Iris looked around the room quickly, whispering, "If my brother caught us here."

"He'd what?" Jack laughed softly, pulling Iris to him again and kissing along her neck. "He's your brother Iris, not your husband." Iris pushed Jack away, holidng him at arms length and looking at him steadily.

"All the more reason he's protective Jack." she sighed, "and on top of that, he just doesn' t like you."

Jack laughed, "I'm a big boy Iris." he pulled her close to him again.

"Well, Justin's bigger." Iris said into his shoulder as they stood in an embrace. "He can be very vindictive and he holds a lot of influence right now."

"What's so terrible about you having a love life?" Jack whispered in her hair.

"This is an important time for him right now. He won't risk another scandal, not now." Iris pulled away from him, "There can't even be the appearance of impropriety. " Iris looked around, "We shouldn't even be talking right now."

"I want to see you again." Jack said soberly.

"Normally in the afternoons I take a boat on the river. There's an embankment a quarter mile up from the house." Iris said, shaking her head at her own lapsed reason, "I like to read there, no one ever bothers me." Jack grinned at her. "I can't make any promises Jack" she scolded, "If I think it's too risky I won't show up." Iris laughed, "I feel like a teenager."

Jack pulled Iris close again, kissing her deeply one last time. "You make love like one too." he said as he began to back away from her toward the door.

"Jack!" she called after him, "What if someone heard you talking like that? You have to be more careful."

Jack stopped. "Sofie is in the alley across the street smoking a cigarette, and your brother," Jack looked at his wristwatch, "is still indisposed with the jeweler next door until, well, I asked for twenty minutes." He looked up at her and smiled. "Remember, you're the one who left your necklace lying on my floor." Jack was standing at the door propping it open.

"How did you know about the chain? How did you know I told Justin I'd taken it off because the chain was bothering me?" Iris asked. "Or did it get damaged on it's own?"

Jack tapped his temple with his finger. "Logical reasoning." he said. "I just tried to think like you."

"No," Iris said, appraising Jack, "I think you're just magic."

"I like the green one." Jack said eying the dresses behind Iris, before turning and disappearing into the day. The door shut quietly after him and Iris stood half dazed for a moment.

Sofie was almost to the door of the boutique when Justin's arm reached out and grabbed her, spinning her around. "Where's Iris?" he said.

"Inside shpping." Sofie said, a little confused.

"Why aren't you in there with her?" he asked getting more upset.

"I just went to get a soda." Sofie said, getting upset herself.

"Sofie, you are never to leave Iris alone." Justin said, scolding her as though she'd abandoned a small child. "Do you understand?"

"I was just gone for a few minutes." Sofie said, getting angry. She felt Justin's grip tightening on her arm. They stared at each other for a moment before Justin remembered himself.

"I'm sorry Sofie." Justin adjusted his tone, now trying to sooth. "I just don't want that detective bothering Iris."

"I understand." Sofie said, realizing that things between brother and sister were as strained as she'd hoped they were.

"Are you two ready?" Iris said, stepping out of the boutique with a parcel under her arm.

"Yes," Justin said looking up at Iris and releasing Sofie's arm, "Shall we?"

"Which one did you finally settle on?" Sofie asked, eying the parcel in Iris's hands.

"The green one." Iris said as they began walking.

"I dont' think I've ever seen you in green." Justin said, shooting Iris a look.

"I've never been partial to it before." Iris said looking around them as they walked. Then seemingly out of nowhere Iris turned to Sofie. "Smoking really is an ugly habit for such a beautiful young girl Sofie." 


	16. Chapter 16

After supper Iris wandered out onto the porch alone. She sat down on the front steps and leaned back on her hands, watching the sunset and basking in the excitement that this celestial event now held, now that dusk was bringing the dawn, and the day that followed, just a little bit closer. Soon that fat star would be hanging high over head while her and Jack found shade under the canopy of her secret retreat across and up the river. She'd never imagined she'd be using the place for this kind of intrigue when she'd gone through great pains to hide it's existence from everyone, but most especially Justin. The fact that it had become such a sacred place had more to do with chance that any thing she could have planned.

When Justin and her had first began to build The Temple of Jericho and the the sprawling ranchhouse on the hill that they shared she'd found herself wandering along the river that ran the length of the property alone frequently. Justin had been slowly shutting her out, but it was more than that, she had been wallowing in her own melloncholy. Iris didn't really want to face people anymore than she had to. She accepted that the life she was living was the one that God had fated for her, and that every decision she'd made had seemed the best. Iris just wanted to be left alone to tend to her wounds, to have a moment to pull away and figure out what she must do. Iris couldn't make sense of it in her own mind, but she knew she had done awful things in her lifetime, and that undoubtedly deserved whatever was going to happen to her. The consequences were irrelevant to Iris, she would sit in a prison cell gladly, she would cut off her own finger if that was what Justice required. What she found unbearable was the lonliness of her current existence. To have sacrificed it all for naught. It wasn't fair. I

Iris was lost in these thoughts as she walked well beyond the first reach of the river when she noticed something shining up at her from across the perl of the water. On the other bank was a line of tall slender trees, and beyond that a small meadow, so bright and shining green that the sun was glittering off of the verdure like a bed of emeralds. Iris hadn't had a secret place since she was a little girl, but she'd felt suddenly pulled to this little meadow, thinking about it as she drifted off into sleep that night. The next day as she rowed herself down the river she felt her heartbeating a little faster, she kept looking behind her at the empty stretch of water and land, for anyone that might be watching. She felt a kind of tranquility moving through her as she landed the boat and stepped through the shining interstices of the dark barked trees obscuring the little grove from the world outside, the swirling dust of the Temple contruction, and on and on beyond that.

At first Iris would go out alone, with just a book and a blanket, but after awhile she found herself growing restless, wanting to make this place more her own. She knew she could sneak off with a canopy, and a a few peices of surplus furniture, but she was going to need help getting all of that to her little hide away, and finding someone to do that without letting on about it was going to be difficult. She tried to get the idea out of her mind, but she found herself awake at night trying to devise various ways to sneak off with a few items here and there, and somehow haul them all herself. Iris began watching the migrants keenly as she ladled out soup in the lunchlines down in the camps. She searched the groups of men that gathered together laughing as they cradled their empty tin cups outside of tents or on the backs of trucks. She dropped her eyes away from the beleagured women forced into rags as they held their babies. Sometimes Iris thought there was too much sorrow already on everyone to ask anyone to help with a burden. And then she'd spotted a young redheaded man sitting alone in front of the same small tent everyday for a week. He never seemed to change the expression of bewildered sadness on his face and Iris felt pulled to him immediately, as if God himself were trying to tell her something.

"His name's Christopher." Eleanor had said, catching her looking one day. Iris hadn't said anything back, just lifted an eyebrow. "He don't talk to nobody." Eleanor went on as she continued serving soup and smiling at the progressing line of tired faces. Iris shifted uncomfortabley next to her, nodding at the weak smiles of the grateful. "Don't know how they figured out his name, but they seem to think he's slow or something."

"Oh," Iris said, softening to the young man more as she watched him taking in everything around him, "that's very unfortunate."

"But he's a real hard worker, so's they put him to work." Eleanor finished, lifting her features primly.

Iris continued to watch the boy. He did seem a bit like a timid thing on first glance, the way he crouched down and into himself. But as Iris continued to watch she thought she could see a glint in his eye that indicated an active mind, and by the end of the day she was more convinced he was like a stalking animal, studying everything around him.

The next day Iris found herself tromping through the camps just before dawn, while most of the tents and canopies were dark. She had written him a note telling him that she needed him to help her with something and to report to her down by the river at ten o'clock, but as she'd stood at the flap of his tent trying to figure out how best to leave the note, it had opened. The boy, or young man just looked at her. Iris handed him the note and walked off. She hated making pleasantries and if he was in the habit of not engaging in them, she didn't want to be the one to stop him.

Christopher was already waiting for Iris when she walked down to the river later in the morning. She stood in front of him, taking him in and he made no effor to smile or hide, or even introduce himself. "I need some help setting up a canopy and some furniture in a clearing on the other side of the river." Iris said very matter of factly, she was trying to sound confident in what she was requesting. Christopher hadn't said anything, just nodded at her. "Well, come on then," she'd sighed, "let's get started."

Christopher followed her mutely to one of the storage sheds halfway between the ranchhouse and the camps, where the surplus anad scraps for construction was being stored. They stood together in the hot dusty shed and Iris listed off the items she thought she would need. Christopher had nodded at her and begun attacking the stacks of furniture and rolled up tarps. She would watch him for awhile, and then feel compelled to help him, but as soon as he sensed her near him he would stop and look at her until she conceded and walked a short distance away to watch again. It took Christopher a good hour to transport everything from the storage sheds to the river, as he insisted, silently of course, that Iris just sit. Iris left him to make lunch for them up at the house and when she returned she was surprised to find that he'd already moved everything across the river, to her meadow. They ate lunch silently, staring at the river together. When they arrived at the meadow Iris saw that Christopher had already laid a blanket out under a tree for her sit on while he staked out the tent and put the furniture together.

As the sun began to set Iris called out to him and nodded toward the boat, already adapting to the silence. As they rowed back toward New Canaan Iris thought about the inefficiancy of speech, and how uneccessary most words were. She'd looked at Christopher as he rowed and smiled at him. The next day Iris brought lunch and book with her to meet Christopher at the river, and she did her best through most of the morning to pay no attention to him. She was lost in her novel when a shadow suddenly came over her. She looked up and saw Christopher standing over her, handing her a sandwich. Iris looked at her wristwatch and realized that it was an hour past lunch. She looked back and Christopher apologetically, but without saying anything. He nodded at her and then sat down next to her on the blanket. In that moment Iris was both surprised and a little happy, recognizing suddenly the intimacy of such a gesture, he liked her, or at least didn't mind her.

As Iris ate her sandwich she looked around at the trees before her with their long skinny trunks, and the glittering of the river in their interstices. When Iris turned her head more, to follow the line of trees as it began to move around her peripheral vision and behind her she was shocked to see the canopy already erected, and the furniture already assembed into a makeshift livingroom of sorts. He had bolted together two deck chairs into something resembling a chaise lounge chair only slightly wider, and pulled together crates into a coffee table. He'd even arranged the candle stands symmetrically along the perimeter of the canopy like lamps. The flaps of the canopy were down except for the front one, which was rolled three quarters of the way up and secured almost decoratively, like theater curtains. Iris turned to him and smiled as big as she could, the corner of his mouth twitched slightly and he turned away, sipping at his water. Iris felt a little sad that the job was already over, though they'd shared less than a hundred words, she'd felt some sort of bond with him, and she was going to miss not having to explain herself.

As they'd crossed the river back toward the ranch house and New Canaan, Iris found a knot of anxiety tighten in her belly, wanting to ask him to keep her little meadow a secret, but knowing full well that such requests were the best way to ensure that everyone would find out. She looked at him as he rowed, and he looked at her not smiling, but not flinching either, just rowing. He was young and his face was dirty and his features wore a kind of worry that made him appear older yet still somehow innocent. "Sometimes a person just has to have a place of their own. Don't you think?" she'd asked. Christopher hadn't said anything, he just smiled at her. Iris hadn't seen him smile in the whole time they'd spent together. His smile brightened his face instantly, and she saw something like recognition flash in his eyes. She'd felt sure that he understood her.

When they'd landed at the riverbank Iris handed him a five dollar bill. He'd just looked at it and back up at her not making a move to take it. "Go on." she'd insisted, "You've earned it." He'd looked at her again and realized she wasn't going to let him walk off without taking it. He grabbed the money quickly from her hand and stuffed in his pocket, before turning around, hunching down into himself and walking toward the camps. "Christopher." she'd called after him. He'd turned around and looked at her blankly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." he said. His voice was a brief masculine sound and then it was gone.

A few days later when Iris had returned to the meadow there was a fresh peice of carpet laid out underneath the canopy. Iris had watched the trucks roll in the day before with rolls of carpet for the actual Temple slowly growing up behind the large Tabernackle style tents where services were currently being held. Iris wondered what Christopher had to do to sneak off with some ot it, or why he would do such a thing for her. Another time she left behind the book she'd finished reading, and when she came back the next day, it was gone, but there was a new layer of mosquito netting falling down from the canopy and bundling along the grass. closing her into her little cocoon. The next time she was down at the camps she spotted Christopher reading her book in front of his tent, looking up as people passed by, and following them with his eyes until the had completely passed. After that Iris would always leave her books behind, and from time to time she would step through the line of trees along the riverbank to find her sanctuary had grown in some way.

Iris smiled to herself, imagining what it would be like to show Jack such a place. She wondered if he would think her incredibly silly, a grown woman spending her time in a glorified treehouse. And then a wave a panic moved through her briefly, realizing that no one else had ever seen this place, that she had just invited him in to something it had taken so long to build. She was inviting catastrophe into her own sanctuary. Iris tried to push the thought from her mind, remembering again the way Christopher had refused to let her work. She decided that even if he wasn't nearly mute, he was most likely too much of a gentleman to have told her secrets to anyone else. She hoped anyway.

Iris thought of Jack's hands again, letting the memory of the warm fluttering sensation they left behind as they moved across her body sooth the raw nerves of her anxiety. Her skin chilled as if he was with her now as she recalled the way he'd kissed her softly on her back. The sensation of it seemed to pull at something deep inside of her belly, near her spine. Things had changed so much for her since her first affair. Back when sex was something entirely new to her. Back then her body seemed to ache for days after an encounter, and she thought she could see it changing right before her eyes, giving her away somehow. Iris swore that her breasts were swelling, that her hip bones were spreading, just a little more each time she looked in the mirror before stepping into the shower or the bath. Iris laughed to herself at how niave she had been, even at twenty-four.

The first time that it had happened she had locked herself in the bathroom at the Dahlia's and scrubbed herself for over an hour, trying to rid herself of the God awful feeling that was hooked firmly into her stomach and spine. She would break into a cold sweat everytime she remembered that first night, hands seeking her out roughly, a belt buckle digging painfully into the soft flesh of her inner thighs. Then anything could remind her of that night, and it was the unexpected recall that troubled her the most.

Rose had been able to tell. They had been eating lunch in the scullery after the Dahlia's had left for some backyard social in the neighborhood when Rose looked at her quizically. "What?" Iris had said, already burning with shame. "There's something different about you Iris." Rose had not smiled but, frowned, as though she was examining a specimen for highly specific classification. "I can't quite figure out what it is, but something is different."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Iris had said frowning back. "I feel the same."

"You're quieter lately." Rose had accused, half joking and half utterly serious.

It was a few weeks later when Rose figured it out. They were hanging bedding on the line to dry in the backyard, and Iris had been careless as she bent down, reaching into the laundry basket for the next sheet. The collar of her dress had fallen open just enough for Rose to see the tell tale mottled red and blue marks left behind by the ravenous, rough mouth an of eager, inexperienced lover. "Iris." she'd said breathing in heavily, "You have a lover? Don't you?"

Iris had looked down ashamed, convinced that if Rose was able to look straight into her eyes she would be able to see right through to the heart of her, and to the truth. Rose had always been one to tease Iris for being prudish, but in that moment Iris watched a different side of Rose's personality emerge. "Well, how was it?" she asked smiling, "Do you feel different?"

"I suppose." Iris finally said.

And then she'd felt something entirely unexpected, Rose's arms wrapping around her tightly. They rocked in that embrace for awhile as the sheets fluttered around them in the wind. It had been so long since Iris had felt that kind of female, maternal affection. It felt good, and Iris could still smell the float of Rose's wavey blonde hair, and the clean cotton of her uniform as she'd held her there in the afternoon sun, obscured from the dark Dahlia house, that imposed over everything it seemed.

Iris marveled now at the amount of honesty and secrecy they had managed to maintain as friends. Neither one enquired about the idently of the other's lover. Though Iris knew full well what Dr. Dahlia was doing with Rose, at that moment more acutely than she ever could have before. They had only ever talked about sex once. It was almost a month later and Iris and Rose were waiting outside of the library while Mrs. Dahlia attended a Women's Rotatry meeting.

Have you ever let someone kiss you, you know." Rose said, moving her eyes over Iris's lap as the sat next to each other on a bench tucked back behind the large building. Iris had looked at the ground not knowing what to say and looking back at her friend, who was waiting patiently. Looking at her completely seriously.

"Yes." Iris had said.

"What's it like?" Rose had asked, without a trace of disgust as Iris had expected.

Iris had thought about it for a moment, recalling the utterly alien sensation of a mouth moving over the most embarassing part of her anatomy. "It's uncomfortable at first, to have someone's head down there, but it's good." Iris had turned to look at Rose, and they both took each other in, neither one blushing or giggling. Iris was flooded with images of Dr. Dahlia in an undershirt and trousers trying to negotiate various exotic sexual practices with naive little Rose. Iris hadn't really realized just how naive until recently. The image was both comical and sad to her.

"But what does it feel like?" Rose had asked moving closer to Iris.

Iris thought for a long time trying to think of something to compare it to. "It's not like anything else I don't think." Iris finally said. Rose pushed closer to Iris nuzzling up to her.

"C'mon Iris, tell me." she begged.

"Well, at first it's like nothing, and then this feeling builds up inside of you, kind of like when you have to sneeze." Iris said, not quite comfortable talking plainly about such a thing.

"A sneeze?" Rose started to laugh.

"I don't know Rose." Iris had said, getting offended.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Keep going." Rose said stifling her laughter.

"And then, you just want the feeling to go on and on forever," Iris continued, "and your body tightens up and you can't breath and there's this big explosion inside of your body." Iris looked over at Rose gaging her reaction. "And then you, you know." Iris nodded her head, not wanting to say it out loud.

"You what?" Rose said, genuinely confused.

"You know, when you." Iris started to explain, but she recognized the puzzled look on her friends face. "You mean you've never?"

"No." Rose said.

"It's silly anyway, you just want to make a lot of noise and, I don't know. It's not that important." Iris had let her voice trail off suddenly feeling dumb or perhaps even worse, crude. She had never really talked to anyone, or heard anyone else talk about this kind of thing before.

"Don't you feel embarassed after awhile." Rose asked.

Iris had looked over at Rose taking in her curvey figure. Rose's body held entirely new mysteries to Iris as that point, now that she understood what bodies were for. And she found herself wondering at what Rose would feel like to a man. From they crisp bills Dr. Dahlia kept sliding into the envelop with Iris's pay each week, she had assumed, pretty good. Iris crinkled her features up at Rose jokingly, "I don't think men really care about that sort of thing."

As the last quivering sliver of the sun dropped beneath the horizon, Iris lamented with a renewed aching nostalgia that she had no one to tell about Jack's hands, or the place on the center of her back, that he'd discovered made her quiver when he placed the softest of kisses on it. She'd been in her own skin for nearly fifty years and never known what Jack determined in the first few minutes he'd had her completely naked before him.

The porch light flickered on and Iris turned to see who was interrupting her daydreams. 


	17. Chapter 17

Justin pushed open the screen door and walked toward Iris sitting on the steps in front of him, she didn't turn around, but rather just leaned her head back, so she was looking at him upside down. "Why are you sitting on the ground?" Justin asked sharply, "You're going to get your dress filthy." Iris sat back upright and paused for moment before standing, she felt a little dizzy. "I have something for you." Justin said, pulling her necklace out of his jacket pocket. Iris looked over her shoulder and smiled at him as he dangled the heavy black cameo in front of him. Iris turned her head back around without a word and Justin approached her lifting the open necklace over her head. Iris lifted her hair off of her neck and waited for him to latch the black chain. Iris smiled to herself as she felt his hands trembling with the effort of working the tiny clasp and eyelet with his large hands. He latched the necklace and smoothed a hand down the back of her neck. "Do you remember when I gave this to you?" he asked.

"Of course I do," she said without turning around. Justin rested his hands on the tops of her shoulders. "You gave it to me the day before you went back to St. Paul that first year."

"Do you remember what I said when I gave it to you?" Justin asked, leaning into her and resting his chin on her shoulder. A tendril of arousal began to uncurl in Iris's body, a Pavlovian reaction to her brother's rare moments of tenderness. She began to lean back into him before she realized what she was doing and Justin moved his arms around her waist and pulled her into him. It had been weeks since their bodies had been this close to each other, and Iris felt her's growing more excited despite what her heart was feeling. In that moment Iris decided that her body was a seditious and wicked thing, and closed her eyes, imagining that his arms were Jack's.

"You said that this would be our covenant with each other," Iris said, "like the rainbow, to remind me always that you were thinking of me, loving me." Justin's arms tightened around Iris and he leaned down into her neck. "And it has been my most prized possession ever since." Iris added, not quite lying. Justin kissed her neck breifly, but it was enough to send a rush of goose bumps down her arms and torso. Justin felt the minute flash of tension that went through her body, and bit at her neck. This second wave of arousal was enough to force a tiny whimper past Iris's lips. And that was all it took for Justin. He turned Iris around in his arms and kissed her hard, and Iris didn't resist as had been her habit lately, instead she matched the intensity and force of his mouth with her own. Iris thought of Jack's hands moving across her body, and she pushed into Justin, almost knocking him off balance. Justin pulled at her, grabbing at her soft flesh hard through her dress. The roughness of the action ripped her from the memory of Jack and thrust her back into the moment at hand, and the stronger almost primitive memory her body had of the kind of pleasure Justin could deliver.

The sound of pots and pans crashing to the floor in the kitchen startled Justin and Iris apart. Iris felt dazed as she watched her brother through half closed eyes, her head still spinning and her face rushed with blood. She couldn't recall the last time she'd felt a pull quite like that to Justin. Iris walked to the screen door. "Is everything all right in there?" she called out.

"I just lost my balance trying to get a pan off of the rack." Sofie called out from the reaches of the kitchen. Iris looked toward the kitchen window that looked out onto the porch. She felt a sigh of relief as she realized that thankfully, the curtains had been closed. She was never so careless with Justin, ever. And yet she couldn't seem to recall how the thought that someone might be watching them didn't cross her mind. Justin was watching her, hawk like. Iris smiled and tugged at the collar of her dress, she wasn't sure if she should be annoyed or thankful that Sofie's clumsiness had yanked her out of her brother's trance. Iris hurried inside, leaving Justin standing on the porch alone, watching the place she'd just occuppied.

Justin couldn't focus on the words befoere him. He rested the book he was reading in his lap and stared out the window. He thought about that first lonely year in St. Paul. It was then that he'd realized how acutely he needed Iris. The days were almost unbearable and he sought solace in God as much as he could. He focused on the soft fleeting memories he had of Iris, wiggling her pink toes as she laid on the sofa barefoot, reading a book of poems after work one summer afternoon. The way his name sounded falling from her lips as she read the notes his teacher had written about him in his report card the morning after he'd graduated from highschool. Justin had to admit that by the time he'd arrived in Mintern for Christmas his sister had become a fetish for him. He was obsessed with her perfect love. The memory of that lonely time spent without her terrified him more than damnation itself. That year in St. Pual had been a kind of hell for him. Justin put down his book and headed for bed.

Justin stopped in front of Iris's door, wanting really to crawl into her bed next to her, to make love to her, feeling that he would know for sure then, that he would be able to tell from the feel of her. Justin recalled the day after his eighteenth birthday, sitting on her bed as she sat in front her vanity brushing her hair. She'd just turned twenty-four herself, and Justin thought she looked beautfiul. She'd been growing more and more secretive since she'd begun work at the Dahlia's a few months prior. He'd spotted an envelope on her dresser, and when he'd gone to pick it up Iris had yelled at him.

"What is it?" he'd asked, "a love letter?" He was trying to taunt her, but too much of him at that young age was threatened by that reality, to make jokes about it.

"Something like that." was all Iris had said as she nonchalantly went back to brushing her hair, as though she hadn't just yelled at her brother. And as if she had not just told him that there was something in her room that was off limits to him.

Justin had hated her work at the Dahlia's. He'd even composed a long letter to her, explaining that he would rather find some other way to fund his education, than lose her to this new job. She merely wrote him back one sentence and slipped it under his door. "Don't be foolish. Iris." She'd used her made-up name, the one that she used for other people, regular people. And she'd forgotten the love.

Justin wondered anew if she'd had an affair with Dr. Dahlia. He tried to think back to that night she'd come to visit him, stumbling drunk, and he'd forced himself on top of her in his bed, and she had not resisted. He searched the memory for any evidence that she knew anymore than he did about what they were doing as he hiked up her skirt and pulled at her panties. Justin remembered the look on her face as he pushed and huffed on top of her. She was half-dazed, and surprised. She looked like the man last week who came to the service for the first time in ten years trying to figure out why his happy bouncing three year old little girl had suddenly been struck down with pneumonia. Yes, that was the expression on Iris's face at the moment he pushed inside of her. No, Justin reassured himself, she hadn't known anymore than him about that particular sin.

Justin sat down at the edge of her closed door, on the floor, the way he used to in St. Paul when she was having the nightmares. After awhile he could hear the faint sound of rustling covers or worn bedsprings as she slept. The first night in his room, afterward it was equally quiet, his body was tingling all over, Justin, in all his life had never felt such relief as the moment he'd held his sister to his body and kissed her like a woman, like a lover. Iris had been quiet. She stood up in his room and was trying to straighten her stalkings up her thighs in the moonlight when she stopped suddenly and looked at her hands.

"What is it?" Justin ahd whispered as he got out of the bed as well and began rearranging his clothes. He felt ashamed somehow that they hadn't even bothered to take their clothes off before lying with each other.

She looked at him fearful and angry and bewildered all at once. "I'm bleeding." she'd said.

Justin hadn't been sure what to do, but felt a new sense of responsibility to Iris, as her man in some respect. "Doesn't that happen sometimes?" Justin had asked, not that he'd heard that from any books or Elders or instructors. That he'd heard during the many lunches he had taken in the supply closet next to the girl's bathroom during his freshman year of highschool. When he was still having trouble getting along in the world of regular people. The kind that came from normal homes with real parents. He had overheard through the ventilation system one girl ask another if she had bled the first time with her boyfriend. Justin had been horrified and fascinated by the talk of these young girls on the other side of the wall from him, primping in front of the mirror as they taught each other about the way things really worked.

"No," Iris had said, walking over to the bed and sitting down, parting her legs slightly, and sliding her skirt up toward her waist, while still holding it over her most private of places, still shy. "On my thighs, Alexsei. Your belt buckle cut me." she said, looking up at him in the moonlight, her eyes glimmering with tears before a silent spring of them came. She was bawling silently.

"I'm sorry." he said, growing frantic, "Let me see them." he'd said kneeling between her legs, and pushing them open wider. There were two long cuts along her right inner thigh. They looked like two black seems in the dark. He hadn't known what to do to stop her tears then, he didn't realize until much later that her tears had nothing to do with a few scratches. In that moment he did the only thing he could think of to do, he kissed them to make them better. As he trailed soft kisses along the weeping cuts Justin had felt an urge to cry, not realizing he'd been so rough with his sister, that he hadn't even noticed that he was hurting her. As he neared the joint of her inner thigh, he realized that she hadn't yet put her underwear back on and he could smell her. It excited him in a way he had never known before, and without any foreknowledge from friends or even the muffled secrets of the girl's bathroom at lunch, Justin made his first sexual discovery as he began to kiss between her thighs, getting lost in her anotomy and every taste and smell of her, every nuance of her sex. The sound of Iris's stifled breathing filled the room as she tried to fight the welling feeling inside of her body, until finally she gave up and began to make the sweetest sounds Justin had ever heard, panting and gasping and moaning as he knelt before her in the winter, in the moonlight.

As Justin had walked her back to the Dahlia's later that night he held her hand, and tried to keep her from falling. She hadn't had a drink in hours, but she still seemed drunk, and unable to orient herself to her surroundings. When they neared the house he'd dropped her hand, and saw that his own hand was bloody. He'd grabbed her hand roughly and held it open in the moonlight and saw the bloody crecent shapes where her fingernails had dug into the soft pads of her palms. She'd been squeezing her hands into fists so hard as she fought her climax that she'd drawn blood from her own flesh. Iris had looked away disinterested, and still somehow seeming drunk. He had pulled her to him roughly now that he was bigger, and he was stronger, "Ira," he said, and she turned to regard him, "please don't do this anymore." he said looking into her eyes. She still had that huanted look to her. "Next time use my hands, okay?" he said tilting her oepn bloody palm back and forth in the moonlight. Iris finally looked down at her red hand, and looked up at him.

"I was trying not to like it." she said very plainly. "It didn't work very well." she smiled up at him. Justin was puzzled by her and frightened, her affect was all wrong and he knew it, though at eighteen he hadn't quite had the words for it, and he had felt, he was the one that had done it to her, whatever was broken inside of her now. Just had kissed her there in the dark at the edge of the Dahlia's yard, and turned around and made the walk home alone, as feelings of relief and shame dueled in his mind for reign over his temperament for the rest of his life with Iris.

As Justin sat outside of Iris's bedroom twenty-five years later listening to her sleep, he found himself on the verge of tears, caught in the despair of what a life without her would be like, but checking those quiet tears was a rising anger, anger at the idea that Iris thought she could just walk away. Justin remembered how he could still taste Iris on his lips that winter night as he walked home, a taste as familiar to him as water now, not sweet or bitter or salty like skin, but Iris, she tasted like Iris and when he climbed through the window of his bedroom he could still smell her arousel in the air, a smell that had become native to him too. Justin stood up feeling his anger even more at the thought of Iris giving away his treasures to another. "Only God could love you more than I do." he whispered into her closed door before retreating to his bedroom. 


	18. Chapter 18

Iris turned in her bed, wondering if Justin would try to enter, not wanting him to, but wanting him to all the same. When she closed her eyes she remembered again the way things had been when she'd first moved to St. Paul. The whole way there she'd been overcome with anxiety thinking of how their meeting would be. After that first night in Mintern, he'd come to her again before leaving and it had been easy enough to let him do what he wanted. But after time had seperated them for awhile, the gravity of what had happened weighed on her.

When she first arrived at his door he hugged her and kissed her on the cheek and helped her with her bags, not betraying for a second that anything had changed between them. Yet as she unpacked her bags and settled in there was an uncanny silence between them. Justin's cool demeanor had actually hurt Iris, though she was glad he didn't want to continue things as they had been, she felt something like anger that he'd put her through all of it in the first place.

The first week that she was there she was careful to avoid any physical contact with Justin, and she would double check that the doors were closed before she began changing in the morning or at night. She wouldn't even shower until he was already out of the house. Justin noticed her change, her distance from him, and it made him angry, until the tension that filled his apartment was palpable. 

One day after dinner as Iris sat on the sofa knitting while Justin read she found herself suddenly crying, unable to take the tension that was constantly in her stomach and throat anymore. She tried to stop her tears quietly with the cuff her her robe, but her eyes wouldn't stop crying. She'd never felt anything quite like it before, but it was as if there was an endless supply of water inside of her body. 

"Iris," Justin said, "what's wrong?"

Iris had tried to look up at him, but the tears were coming too fast in her eyes and she had to look back down, and it was as if Justin asking the question had somehow unleashed whatever sorrow she had managed to keep at bay up to that point. She began sobbing, unable to articulate an answer. 

She'd felt Justin's arms around her and it was both a welcome and repulsive sensation. She turned into him and cried for a long time until she was exhausted. She was divided between her one confident and the one who brought such heavy sorrow on her. Justin rocked her silently for a long time until Iris fell into a half sleep. She had a vague awareness of being carried to his room and him setting her in the bed before curling around her and bringing the covers over them both. And then she drifted off into sleep. 

They made love that morning.

And every morning after, and sometimes in the evenings, and even once all day when she'd stayed home with the flu. Until the nightmares came, slowly pushing him out of her room. Everything culminated in yet another fit of mysterious tears as they ate dinner silently, except that now when Justin had asked her what was wrong she had shouted "How could you do this to me? How could you have done this to us?" and she'd looked up at him and his face was completely ashen.

"I love you." he'd said quietly.

"Then how could you damn us both?" she'd cried, getting increasingly hysterical. "I can't live like this anymore Alexei." She'd gotten up from the table and begun walking to her room but Justin had chased after her and stopped her, pulling her into his arms. She'd tried to fight, but he was much too strong for her and she'd finally given up, falling limp into his embrace.

"I'm sorry Ira, please I'm so sorry." he'd said into her hair. "I didn't mean for this to happen." He'd stroked her arms and her back, his own voice breaking, "I was weak, but I promise I'll be stronger, I'll find a way. Please don't leave me."

Iris thought about the twinge of pleasure she'd felt in the time since that night when she would hear Justin in his room, whipping himself. It was a testament to his need for her, more so than his desire. It was the way he'd found to live with her and not lay with her. It made them even in her mind. She had always been most upset by the fact that Justin never once seemed to feel guilty about anything that they were doing, shamelessly sliding a hand up her skirt as she reached for jar of preserves on the top shelve of the cupboard, or kissing her stomach as she napped on the couch. The least he could do was feel the agony of desiring something he couldn't have.

Justin woke up with a start, he looked around his room, but everything seemed as it should be. And then he heard someone screaming his name, it was a muffled sound. Justin's senses came back to him and he realized it was Iris calling his name from her room. The same frantic anxiety that used to run through him twenty years ago, ran through him again, and he was lost in a lucid dream state dashing out of his room and down the hall to Iris, though somewhere in his mind, he was back in his apartment in St. Paul, and when he got to her door he hesitated. Then he heard the sound of someone on the stairs. He looked and saw Sofie staring at him, her hair disheveled and her robe only half on.

"Go on to bed Sofie." he said waving his hand at her. "I've got it." Sofie looked at him for a moment, just standing in front of his sister's door. Justin looked down at himself, realizing where he was and who, and he opened Iris's door. He stepped half in, before looking back out at Sofie, to shoo her one last time. She turned and headed back down the stairs and Justin stepped into Iris's room. 

Iris was sitting up in bed looking blankly into the darkness and breathing heavily. Justin sat down next to her on the bed, leaning his back on the headboard and pulling Iris into his lap to hold her. She was shaking and still looking blankly. "Justin." she muttered. Justin realized she was still dreaming. He pulled her tighter to him.

"Shhh. Ira, it was just a dream." he said stroking her hair. He felt her stop trembling and hold on to him tighter. She sniffled in the dark and Justin realized she was crying. "It's okay Iris." he said again, and he felt her relaxing. He listened as her breathing slowly returned to normal, lulling him to sleep. His eyelids got heavy and eventually shut.

Iris woke up on top of and tangled around Justin. She hovered over him for a moment trying to figure out how to crawl over him and off of the bed without waking him. Justin's eyes fluttered open and he stared at her, she searched his eyes, confused as to how he had gotten there. Justin reached up and tucked the hair that was falling in front of her face behind her ears and pulled her down to him. He kissed her and Iris obliged but didn't give in, feeling more sober than she had last night. He rolled over on top of her and lifted his head up.

"You had a nightmare." he whispered. "You were screaming my name."

"I'm sorry." she whispered back.

"I didn't know if you wanted me to rescue you, or you wanted to be rescued from me." Justin looked at her for a moment in the moonlight, flooded with memories of a thousand other moments like this.

"Alexei," Iris said turning her head to the side so she wouldn't have to face him, "please."

Justin hovered for a moment before rolling off of Iris and slipping out of her bed. His body aching with desire, his head relentlessly playing back images of Iris in various states of undress, the sounds she'd made during various encounters. He looked down at her looking past him, the back of her hand to her mouth in the familiar language of her body saying she was too troubled to do what he wanted. Justin turned and left.

Iris watched the door close behind him and a sinking feeling went through her, wondering how long she could keep all of this going. 


	19. Chapter 19

Iris spent lunch time down in the camps serving soup in the lines. Justin and Sofie joined her briefly, and the excitement of Justin's presence caused a hectic pace to overtake the line causing Iris to break a sweat running back and forth between cooks and dishes and waiting cups and children and scattered voices. Yet everytime she looked up Justin's eyes were keenly on her, following her every move. The look on his face was one of both suspicion and desire. 

Iris bent over into a barrel filled with ice blocks and let the collar of her dress fall open slightly, knowing without having to check that Justin was surely seeing this. It was a display to please him, to appease him. She stood up and could feel streams of sweat running down from her hairline in the summer sun. Justin was in front of her almost immediately, fanning at her briefly with a fan borrowed from some fawning woman. Iris smiled into its breeze for a moment and Justin handed the fan off to her. She took it up and began fanning herself as Justin reached to hug her goodbye. She hugged him breifly with her free arm, leaning over the barrel of ice. She looked over his shoulder and saw Sofie standing behind them, looking at them with a trace of anger. Justin kissed Iris's sweat slicked forehead and Iris pulled away quickly. Justin slowly licked her sweat from his top lip while staring her down. Iris wondered if Jack was somewhere watching this exchange, and she was sure he was. 

Satisfied with Iris's activities and whereabouts for the next few hours Justin and Sofie turned and left heading back to the house so Sofie could begin the stew she was planning for dinner and Justin could begin scheduling meetings and sermons for the week. Things were falling back into a normal routine and Iris wondered how long she could maintain this little sherade. A week, a month, a year, a lifetime. She wondered how long it would take before Jack would be begging her to move away with him to San Francisco, or beg to let Justin know that they were courting. She lamented again how little he would ever be able to understand about who she really was. She wanted to enjoy for the moment that what they had was so simple and pure. Iris understood this would change, that it would have to. Things had changed between Iris and Justin, and what it was that she held over him, kept him at bay with was gone now. They were both damned and they knew it. The moment she'd confessed to him about the fire and he'd kissed her like that, everything had changed. She knew from that moment on that she had lost the power over him. That she had lost control.

After the crowds had begun to disappate Iris wandered down to the riverbank where a few boats were landed. Christopher was there, as if he knew, he smiled at her and motioned to one on the end. He motioned for her to get in, that he would punt it out into the current for her, but she just smiled. Leaning onto his shoulder instead, and taking off her shoes and socks. She tossed them into the boat and hitched up her skirt wading into the water a few inches. "It's awfully hot today." Iris said to him smiling and letting the current run over the tops of her feet.

It was completly quiet when Iris arrived at her little sanctuary. She landed the boat and stepped off into the grass, getting lost in the soft wet sensation under her feet. She curled her toes into it, before crossing the threshold of trees. She made her way inside of the canopy, rolling down all the walls and misquito net and plunking down into the wide chaise lounge arrangment, exhausted. She laid flat on her back and hiked her skirt up to her thighs, and unbuttoned her dress a few inches in the front, and she lay there panting in the heat for a long time, listening to the current of the water and wondering if Jack was going to actually show up. She tried to shoo away the thought of Justin somehow invading this place. She'd had it here for almost six months and he'd yet to stumble upon it once, that she knew of anyway. Iris was quick to dismiss the thought. She was sure if Justin had come across it Christopher would somehow have known and would have warned her off the place completely. She had decided in recent weeks that he was her guardian angel.

"You look beautiful." Jack said.

Iris turned her head and smiled. Jack was standing behind the misquito net at the entrance of the tent, his light linen suit almost matched the canvas walls, and this was only the second time Iris had seen him without a tie on. "I thought you'd never show up." she said without making a move to get up. Jack opened the netting and stepped through looking around at the little place she'd created for herself. 

"This is very nice Ms. Crowe." Jack said assuming his detective voice. "Entertain many men here?" he said lifting his eyebrows at her. 

"Why Detective Teirnan, I never." she said with mock appal as he drew nearer to her. 

"Don't disturb yourself on my account." he said as he stood over her. She turned her head so she was staring straight up at him. 

Justin sat at the table on the porch reading through the mail, sorting through which letters to answer, which letters were donations, and which were requests for him to speak, arranging them in piles. Sofie sat at the other end of the table helping him as the stew simmered on the oven. "This one looks important." Sofie said as she handed him an evelope across the table, "It's addressed to Iris, it's from Los Angeles. From Rose Sterling."

Justin grabbed it quickly. "Hmmn." he said tucking it into his jacket pocket, without looking up. Sofie watched him for awhile longer trying to figure out if Iris was in trouble or not, but she couldn't really tell.

"Wasn't that the lady that Detective Tiernan was looking for or something?" Sofie tried to say casually. She'd overheard enough conversation to glean that a Rose was involved, though Rose was a common enough name. 

"I'm not really sure Sofie," Justin said looking up at her, but if it is, we best keep this between the two of us, at least until he's gone." Justin smiled at her, trying to gage which side she was on, though he kept hoping there weren't sides. He wondered how much the little angel before him knew that he didn't. Iris was full of the secrets of the houses she kept, and he was sure Sofie was privy to more than he wanted her to be. But again, he thought, Sofie might be something he could use to his advantage. If Iris wasn't already. "I don't like it when he comes sniffing around here, especially my sister. I'd hate to give him reason to come back around her...here again."

"Oh, I wouldn't really worry about him." Sofie said, "I think he's moved on already."

"How do you mean Sofie?" Justin asked.

"Well, you know that morning that I saw Jack at the diner?" she said, not looking up from her task of sorting through envelopes, trying to look disinterested in what she was about to say.

"Yes." Justin said leaning in to the table unconciously trying to bring his ear as near to Sofie as possible.

"I saw him waiting outside of the diner for someone and then I saw Anna from the Templetons walk up and they were talking really close." She looked up at him matter of factly, so as not to seem as though she was insinuating something untrue, "You know, the way people are when they're involved."

"Ah. Yes." Justin said, agreeing in the mock polite manner that good people should when discussing such things.

"She seemed upset about something, and he was trying to reassure her, and then he gave her something. I didn't quite see what it was, but it seemed like a charm or something. You know, a token, something you give a sweetheart." she said, still at the task of her sorting.

"What are you trying to say Sofie?" Justin half laughed, though the thoughts were beginning to nosedive into each other in his brain. On first glance this piece of information should have been a relief, but Justin instantly saw Jack Tiernan placing Iris's necklace into little Anna's hands and sending her back to the Templeton's to have it retrieved. A simple parlor trick. 

"I'm just saying, I think that Jack's head has been turned in a new direction, that's all." Sofie looked up at him and smiled. "She could hardly look him in the eye when they were in the room together. That's definitely a sign that a girl has a crush on a fella."

"Of course." Justin smiled, "You'll have to forgive me Sofie, I don't know too much about those matters."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Sofie said laughing to herself. "I wasn't thinking. I was just trying to."

Justin cut her off. "It's alright Sofie. I understand what you were trying to do. And I appreciate it. And it does make me feel a little better about this whole situation. The last thing I wanted was another person coming around and trying to turn my sister's head in an effort to get closer to me."

"Of course." Sofie said smiling.

"I'm not some kind of ogre trying to keep people away from my sister you know." Justin lied.

"I understand. You have to protect family. It's the most important thing." Sofie agreed with his sentiment. Enjoying the subtle fraying she was pulling at in the Crowe family tapestry. She wanted to watch the whole thing unravel, and it seemed to her, she wasn't going to have to do much to make that happen. Justin was moving his eyes over the envelopes in front of him, but Sofie noted with delight that his features were twitching and he had completely lost the ability to concentrate. He was looking now toward the camps, though it wouldn't do any good, you couldn't really see much of anything of import from the porch. "What was it my sister was going to be doing down in the camps today after lunch?" Justin asked Sofie his voice almost breaking. Sofie actually felt a chill go down her own spine. Justin was very, very angry. His voice never cracked. Ever.

"She didn't say." Sofie offered. "I better check the stew, you'll excuse me Justin." Sofie said getting up from the table and heading into the kitchen. Sofie hovered over the sink peeking through the curtains as Justin sat at the table. Then suddenly his hand came crashing down on the table, sweeping all of the envelopes off of it, sending them scattering across the yard. He stood up knocking his chair to the ground and stomped off the steps toward the camps, leaving clouds of dust behind him as he went. Sofie smiled to herself. Iris was in big trouble.

Iris sat straddling Jack's lap as they kissed, pawing at each other and breathing heavily. Jack pulled at her waist and hips bringing her as close to him as possible. Finally he pushed her back onto the oversized pillows that served as cushions on the rickety wooden furniture serving as bed for them at the moment. He was pushing at her and she felt a weird chilling sensation running through her, anticipating the feel of him inside of her. It was a new feeling. "I want you." Jack whispered into her ear as he grinded into her. "I want you Iris." he said again. 

"Then take what you want." she whispered back. And with that she'd felt a violent tug at her underwear and the sound of tearing as he pulled them down her legs. She watched as he tossed them to the ground and began undoing his his belt buckle. She reached with her foot to help tug the waist of his pants down and he laughed as he settled on top of her again, pushing inside of her. A strange familiar pain began to pull at her, at her inner thigh, and she realized his belt buckle was digging into her thigh as he thrusted into her. The strange sensation made her whole body stand at attention, and she could feel herself getting wetter, almost on the edge of climax. "Jack." she whispered, "Jack." 

Without really stopping Jack pulled the belt out of his slacks and threw it to the floor. He reached his hand down and spread her legs further grasping her thigh where his belt buckle had been and slowly running his thumb over the small scratch that was there now, soothing away the hurt. He slowed the pace of what he was doing and kissed Iris slowly and sweetly as he went. He broke away from the kiss and buried his head in her neck again, still slowly stroking her injury with his thumb. "Sorry." he muttered, "I wasn't thinking."

"It's alright." Iris said, "I'm not made of glass." She pushed his hand away from her thigh and wrapped her legs around his waist and ran her fingernails down his back through his shirt.

"God, Iris," he panted as he began to move faster, "you don't feel like anything else."

People cleared out of the way as Justin entered the camps, it was clear he was on a mission. He searched the faces of the bewildered, dirt smudged masses for someone that looked familiar. He spotted a woman standing near a tent with a child hugging her waist, that he recognized from earlier in the day. He walked toward her aggressively and she looked dumbfounded to him as he drew near to her. He tried to cool his affect before he began speak, both things he was finding harder to do.

"Excuse me, what was your name again?" Justin said.

"Karen." she said looking like a little lamb. Justin looked down at the child hugging her waist. He seemed to sense Justin's purpose and looked rightfully frightened and hugged his mother's waist tighter, hiding his face in her stomach.

"Karen." Justin smiled at her and the woman seemed to relax a bit. "I'm looking for my sister Iris, have you seen her by any chance?" Justin really tried to stir some sweetness into his question, wanting to be careful not to betray his intention. But his mind was running rampant with ideas. First was to throttle Iris within an inch of her life, the second was to tie her to the bed or lock her in the basement for the rest of time. He didn't want to dwell to much on the other possibilities he'd been considering. But his plans for Jack...well, that would be Iris's special punishment. A special torment just for her.

"Usually about this time she wanders off somewhere down the river." The woman offered.

"Down the river?" Justin asked, confused, but suddenly realizing that things between his sister and Jack could perhaps have been going on much longer. He could hardly contain his rage, he wanted everyone before him to suffer, especially these daft migrants that had been allowing his sister whatever secrecy she'd been enjoying in the midst of them. 

"Yes, Christopher might know more." The woman said nodding in the direction of a young red headed man standing on the bank of the river.

"Thank you Karen." Justin smiled and began walking off in that direction.

"But he's..." Karen tried to warn him about Christopher's relationship with speech, but Justin merely waved his hand at her tromping off through people.

"Dear lord." Karen muttered to herself, completely taken aback by Brother Justin's behavior. She wondered what it could be that would upset such a man so much.

Jack and Iris sat huddled together silently watching nothing at all. "I have news." Jack said looking down at Iris who was snuggled into his body. She looked back up at him. "I got a lead on Rose." he continued. "I'm leaving for Los Angeles tomorrow to follow up on it."

"Oh." Iris said pulling away from Jack and tensing up.

"What's wrong Iris?" Jack asked straightening up and trying to look at her. Iris dropped her head down so he couldn't see her eyes.

"I guess I just wasn't prepared for that." Iris said. Jack tried to lift her chin with his hand, so she would have to let him see her eyes.

"I just." Iris closed her eyes and opened them again slowly, looking at Jack, "I'm not looking forward to her finding out I told her secret."

"Iris, what kind of a man do you think I am?" Jack smiled, almost laughing at her. "Of course I'm going to protect you." he said with a tone of incredulity.

"I just, I.." Iris looked at the ground again. "It just makes me nervous, that's all."

"Listen Angel." Jack said as he pushed her down and moved on top of her, "I would never do anything to hurt you." he said, and then kissed her on the center of her chest. "Never, ever, ever." he said between trailing kisses up her neck before kissing her on the mouth and darting his toungue along her lips until she wrapped her arms around him and returned the kiss. They broke from their kiss and Jack just stared at her for a long time. "You know Iris, I've been doing this a long time." he finally said.

"I know." Iris said reassuring him and running her hands up his shirt, playing with the buttons.

"In my experience with things like this...well, time has a tendency to heal a lot. Rose is probably going to be more relieved than anything else to have this whole thing done with." Jack said looking soberly into her eyes, not wanting to part with her until he was sure she was completely comfortable with what he was leaving to do. In all of his career he'd never become involved with someone he was working a case on, and now he realized why. He was entirely willing to forgoe any meeting with Rose if Iris insisted that it not take place. Jack just hoped that Iris didn't realize that.

"I certainly hope so." Iris said looking away wistfully. Jack got up and found his belt on the floor lacing it through the belt loops of his trousers and buckling it. He leaned down and picked up Iris's underwear. He dangled them before her for a moment and she tried to grab at them, but he pulled them out of reach. 

"Jack." Iris said, sitting up and making another more earnest attempt to grab them.

"You know, I think I'll need something to take with me to Los Angeles, to keep me from going crazy with desire for you Ms. Crowe." he said smiling and shoving them into his pocket.

"Excuse me."

Christopher turned around. Justin Crowe was standing before him, barely containing his heaving. Christopher ran through all of his actions in the past six months helping Iris build her little hideaway, and wondered where he had erred, thinking that surely this would be the only reason that Justin would speak to him. Christopher wondered if he'd been seen taking something, and how he might explain it away without giving up the fact that Iris had a little hiding place from the rest of the world. A hiding place that Christopher himself enjoyed on occassion. Christopher wasn't sure why, but he'd let himself be punched square in the face before he'd tell on Iris. He felt she understood him somewhat, and more importantly she just let him be. And the five dollars and the books didn't hurt either. He didn't see either of those two things coming into his possession by any other means any time soon.

"I understand you know where my sister Iris can be found." Justin walked closer to the boy, sensing something very odd about him immediately. Christopher just stared at him blankly, hoping that he might fall for the dumb thing as easily as most other people did. "Well?" Justin said again, pressing even closer to the boy. Christopher felt slightly intimidated. Justin was a good head taller than him and wider all the way around. Though he was a minister and that counted for something. But Christopher had long ago figured out there wasn't something right about that whole story. It didn't make sense a woman like Iris having to hide from him, or every maid in the house going batshit crazy within a few weeks of service. Christopher wasn't stupid, much to the opposite, sometimes he saw things too clearly. Like now. Whatever it was between brother and sister, he meant Iris harm and it was obvious from his demeanor. 

"That boy can't help you Brother Crowe. He can't talk." Both men looked and saw a skinny old man standing next to one of the boats. Christopher recognized Gene, the man that lived next to him. 

"Have you seen my sister?" Justin turned and started walking toward Gene. Christopher edged away quietly walking down stream toward Iris slowly. The voices of Justin and Gene grew faint as Christopher casually followed the river, he looked back and saw Gene pointing down river toward the hiding place, and Justin move toward one of the row boats on the embankment. Christopher turned around and kept walking counting in his head to ten before turning around again. He could see Justin struggling to get into one of the boats as Gene helped him. Christopher turned around and began running as fast as he could.

Jack and Iris were standing in front of the tent kissing and Iris tried to snake her hand into Jack's pocket to pull her panties out of them. Jack caught her hand and brought it forcefully behind her back, he pulled away from the kiss. "Now Ms. Crowe, don't make me subdue you. I am a professional you know." Iris struggled briefly in his grasp before smiling up at him.

"Detective Teirnan, is this how you handle all of your suspects?" she asked coyly.

"No." Jack said turning serious. "Never, not once."

They both turned their heads at the sound of sudden violent splashing in the river beyond the wall of trees in front of them. Jack moved first to investigate before Iris pulled at his arm. "No Jack, you're not supposed to be here remember?" Jack hesitated and then fell back behind Iris. Iris stepped forward nervously before Christopher appeared before her soaking wet. He was heaving and leaned over to catch his breath. He looked up and saw Jack, he didn't betray any surprise or expectation. Christopher stood up staring at Iris, Iris seemed shocked standing stock still.

"Brother Justin is coming." he said simply before looking past Iris at Jack who emerged from the tent. Iris turned around already trembling. She knew Jack was going to read the fear in here eyes, she just hoped he wouldn't argue with it.

"Jack, you better head out now." she said, "Christopher can take you." Jack looked reluctant. "Please Jack, just go." Iris said. She felt Christopher move past her, he approached Jack with a determined swagger, walking past him and the tent and stopping at the edge of the trees along the far end of the meadow.

"C'mon sir, you can't do her any good being here right now." Christopher said with a finality that chilled Iris to the bone. She realized that she was in no kind of trouble she'd ever known before. Jack turned silently and followed the boy into the trees, disappearing into the dark.

Iris straightened her hair and her dress and moved into the tent, straightening the pillows and furniture out with a hurried pace. Her heart was beating so hard she had to sit down. She tried to look natural somehow as she waited for her brother, completely unprepared for what was going to happen. Trying to figure out what is that he might have discovered. What might have so suddenly roused his anger. Iris wondered if Jack was seen by anyone, if it might be something she could assuage with a smile and a laugh. But the expression of Christopher's face had told her exactly what he'd seen in Justin, and that kind of anger, even she was defenseless against anymore. Iris thought about running, but she had no where to go, and if she disappeared for too long, than Justin would know that she knew that he knew. The complexities of the game they were playing made her dizzy. She sat waiting, ready to cry, biting at her lip, wondering how far her brother would go if he knew she'd let someone else inside of her, and feeling she was about to find out. 


	20. Chapter 20

The instinct came very strong as she heard the boat landing just beyond the tent. The instinct to run. But Iris fought it, instead sitting straight up in her seat waiting for the vision of her brother to come before her. As she saw his dark figure moving toward her through the netting in front of her, she felt her heart begin to race. She was ready to cry, to give up, to fall at his feet and beg forgiveness. Her lack of spinal fortitude made her feel shame in the same instant, Iris knew that she looked terrified and there was nothing that she could do about it. 

Justin pushed open the curtain and stepped into her sanctum. His eyes were black and all trace of her brother was gone. Iris began to tremble as Justin approached her, his face working into a grimace, but she tried to track him steadily with her eyes. Justin loomed over her and she looked up at him, she could see her own diminutive reflection in the black pits of his eyes and she steeled herself for whatever was about to happen next.

Iris felt it before she saw it coming, the sting and the force of Justin's hand across her face. It felt like she'd been hit with a two by four, and it sent her to the ground. Iris sat there panting on all fours for a moment, trying to regain her breath, but he'd knocked the wind out of her. She could taste the sweet metallic flavor of blood and knew that he'd cut her lip badly. She could already feel the swelling starting. She couldn't stop coughing, or seem to start breathing right again, it was like a heavy stone was tied to her chest. She felt Justin's shadow looming over her. She looked up at him, she felt a trickle of blood flow down from the corner of her mouth. "Do you know what the punishment is for infedility? Do you know what God does to the unfaithful?" Justin asked. His eyes had returned to normal, but they were burning holes through her.

"I." Iris tried to speak but before she could get a word out the back of Justin's hand came crashing across her face, his knuckles grazing her temple. The force was much less this time, but it was still enough to knock her back down to the ground again, and it left a throbbing in her head. 

"Don't." Justin spat, "The sound of your lies makes me sick to my stomach. You disgust me." Justin picked Iris up by the arm and began dragging her toward the boat. Iris's whole body was on fire, yet a chill was moving across her skin. Her head ached and her face was throbbing and swelling and she could taste blood. "Get in the God damned boat Iris." Justin said cooly and Iris obliged. 

They only stayed in the boat long enough to cross the river and then Justin forced her out to walk. "I don't want to cause a stir my dear." he said as he grasped her hand and walked along side her toward the house. There were sparse clusters of trees along the way and as they walked in silence Iris let her eyes move across them. In the branches of a tree Iris caught sight of Christopher. He was watching from the shadows. As they passed he moved a hand over his face where Iris could feel the swelling in her own, and she knew if must look horrible. Iris stopped.

"What?" Justin said as he stopped a few steps ahead of her and turned around.

"I can't." Iris said, bringing her hands to her face and beginning to cry.

"Yes, you can." Justin said, coming close to her and embracing her, without any affection. "Don't start this with me." he commanded and pulled her hands away from her face. He dragged her on and when Iris looked into the trees again to see Christopher, he was gone.

As Justin nudged Iris up the front steps a tall skinny old man emerged from the house, handing Justin a bright new key. "Here you go Brother, brand new, should work like pie now." he said before passing by the two of them and down the front steps.

"Thank you Brother Gene, and on such short notice." Justin smiled.

"Just glad I could help." the old man replied before turning back around and heading off toward the camps. He didn't even give Iris as second look, it was as if he was in a trance, not really taking in anything in front of him.

"I don't understand, what do you need a key for?" Iris asked turning to Justin. He just looked back down at her, without a trace of emotion, save contempt. Iris's stomach turned in a knot as he felt Justin pull her towards the door. Iris was stuck between wanting to please her brother, her great fear of him, and somehow, strangely, in the middle of all of it, a desire for him. 

As they neared her room she saw the large lock on the outside of her door, and she began to resist, pushing against Justin's arm, but he forced her now, pushing her into the doorway. She turned around in his arms, so her face was buried in his chest. "No, please." she begged, her eyes beginning to well with tears again. "Please don't do this to me."

Justin pushed her back so he could take in her face. He stared at her for a moment before pulling her to him and kissing her violently, pushing all of himself into her body, until she was struggling inside of his arms, resisting his mouth. Justin pulled away again, and looked at her with something savage. "It's because I love you Iris." he said before pushing her hard in the direction of the bed. Her body made it to the edge, and crumpled to the floor before it. She looked up at him, her chest heaving. He paused for a moment and Iris wasn't sure what he was going to do to her next, then quickly he stepped back and shut the door.

Iris got up and ran to the door, pounding her fists against it as she heard him working the lock. "Please Justin, you can't do this to me!" she screamed through the door.

"Nyet, Ira!" he screamed back before she heard his footsteps retreating down the hall. She slid down the door and sat crouched there, feeling sorry for herself, and fitfully, crying to no one.

Sofie stared at Justin blankly as he came down the stairs dangling the shiny key in his hand before tucking it in his pocket. "Sofie, you're not to go upstairs until I say so." Justin said as he passed her, a strange sad, smug look was working across his features. 

"But." Sofie tried to ask, incredulous at the thought that he was actually going to leave Iris locked up there for any serious amount of time. But Justin just raised his hand at her, as if to quiet her objections. 

"I'll be taking food up to Ms. Crowe. There's no need for your services up there." Justin said without looking back at Sofie before he stepped into his study and closed the door.

Sofie stood at the foot of the stairs dumbfounded. This wasn't like any family feud she'd encountered, and something like remorse came over her as she looked up at the empty landing. She could hear Iris pacing, stuck up there like a caged animal. 


	21. Chapter 21

Iris woke up to the sound of banging against her window. She got out of bed to investigate and saw Justin on the other side of her window, balancing on a ladder and placing a piece of wood across the frame. As he nailed it into place, the dark replacing the landscape outside revealed a little bit of her reflection. He looked right through her. When he placed the next slat across the center of the window, she got a glimpse of her face. Her lip was swollen and she had a large black eye. She flinched at her own reflection before turning around and laying back down in her her bed waiting for him to finish. 

She pulled a pillow over her head and tried to squeeze out the relentless banging but it reminded her of the sound her headboard had made as Justin made love to her the day she'd stayed home sick with the flu in St. Paul. Iris had tried to tell him no, but he'd refused to heed to her protestations, and crawled into bed with her. Her fever had run so hot that his bare skin felt like ice to her when he first pressed into her. And he'd let out a strange sigh when he'd gotten inside of her. Iris had never forgotten that sound. She could still smell his sweat as he made love to her, she was so hot he could barely touch her. It seemed more and more though, that Justin couldn't control himself, pressing her against the wall in the hallway, pulling her onto his lap as he read. That day she'd asked him to stop, but he'd kept going, pinning her down and continuing on, moving a hand to cover her mouth. And then he'd finished inside of her.

That was why she had to put an end to it. It had to stop she felt, or she would eventually lose herself. Justin was becoming increasingly aggressive, and when she'd walked in on him and Apollonia what had terrified her most, was that she could see herself there underneath him. She returned to the apartment in a daze, wondering if it was her fault for letting him be that way with her, for training him to think it was okay, and terrified that Justin wanted Iris that way, to destroy her, to take all of her for himself. To leave nothing behind. "I never meant for you to see." was all that Justin had said in defense of his behavior when he returned home to Iris that day. And guilt kept Iris silent, she had told Justin only months before they couldn't continue on. Iris hated herself for having thought, better her than me.

The banging stopped and Iris removed the pillow from over her head. She thought of the morning when she'd found Celeste naked and trembling with crazy next to Justin's bed. She knew all too well what had brought Celeste to that state, and it was a humble reminder to her desire, the danger of what Justin could do. It was dangerous to see your own depravity, much more dangerous than bearing witness to his. To be betrayed by your own body was enough to drive you mad. Iris wondered how far gone she was already, knowing that the only thing she could be certain of, was that she would never know how crazy he'd made her already. She wondered how much Jack could see.

She heard Justin at her door, fiddling with the locks and Iris sat straight up in the bed, ready for him when the door opened. Justin's jacket was gone and he stood before her in his undershirt and suspenders. He ran his thumbs through his suspenders breifly before shutting the door behind him. The room was cool and almost completely dark now that the window had been boarded shut. Justin moved his eyes over her body. "You're still wearing the same dress." he said, moving closer to her and taking a seat next to her on the bed. "You didn't bother to change clothes?" He looked at her sweetly, as though nothing out of the ordinary had taken place between them. Iris instinctively touched her face where it was swollen, and turned away from him to hide her black eye. Justin leaned across her and turned on her bedside lamp.

"I fell asleep in them," Iris half mumbled into her hand. "I didn't see the point of changing them when I woke up."

"Standards have to be maintained Iris." Justin said, his tone becoming more stern. He moved closer to her on the bed Justin leaned in and touched Iris's face where it was hurt, delicately resting his fingertips on her injuries and placing a soft kiss on her cheek, before letting his hand fall down to her shoulder. "Don't be this way Iris." he whispered into her ear, "It's for your own good."

Iris tried to pull away, "How is it for my own good?" she asked.

"Iris, he could never know you like I do." Justin said sliding his hand down to her breast, "How long do you think it could last before he'd find out about the things you've done?"

"Please Justin." Iris said her voice starting to break, "I just want to be happy."

"Don't I make you happy Iris?" Justin asked letting his hand slide down her dress and up under the skirt of it. "I'm the one that knows you inside and out." he said as his fingers found her naked sex. Iris tensed at the first sensation of his fingers against her. She could smell his sweat. A cold sweat broke out down her spine as his fingers found there way inside of her her. Justin let out a long sigh into Iris's ear. It was that sound again. Iris closed her eyes and gave into the feeling, like her whole body was on fire. She felt drunk. "Can't you feel that?" he whispered into her ear, "Your body knows who it is that loves her, who it is that understands all of her mysteries and loves them."

Iris breathed out sharply as the first tense wave of pleasure moved through her, then another. "Even all of your darkest places, Iris." Justin continued as he pushed her back on the bed. He pushed her skirt up and began to move down between her legs. Iris began to tremble and she tried to fight the feelings inside of her. She clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palms, and silent tears slid down her cheeks with the pain. Justin grabbed both of her hands and held them over her stomach, forcing them open and kissing them. "Don't fight it Iris, you always fight so hard." he said before placing her hands back down at her sides and moving to kiss her thighs. He pushed her legs open and went to kiss along her inner thigh when he caught sight of the faint scratch there. It repelled him back like a bee sting.

"God damn it!" Justin shouted before he could think. He moved from the bed toward the door, but instead of leaving he began a kind of frantic pacing, looking at her, then looking away, then looking at her again.

"I never meant for you to see." Iris said sitting up in the bed and moving her skirt back down.

"Don't!" Justin said walking up to her and grabbing her arms hard, shaking her, "Don't start that with me. The first thing I ever learned how to do was to please you Iris." Justin threw her back down so she was laying on the bed and he climbed on top of her, pinning her down. "Everything you told me to do, everything you said, I did. Everything. I did everything for you. You said I had a destiny." Iris was flinching and twisting underneath him, her black eye and swollen lip reminding Justin to keep his wits about him this time. Justin released her and stood back up, returning to his frantic pacing. "Well, I did it!" he yelled, stopping and opening his arms, indicating the small empire around them. "And now?" he lowered his voice again, approaching her, "And now, it's not good enough for you?"

Iris sat up and looked into her lap, shaking her head. "I never meant for it to happen." she murmured.

"Oh, we're back to this again." Justin said, dropping to his knees in front of her. "How long are you going to use St. Paul against me? I won't do it anymore Iris. You wanted it to happen." He said, standing back up. Iris's head shot up and she looked him straight in the eye, her face wet with tears.

"No, no I didn't. I never wanted it to happen." she whispered, shaking her head.

"C'mon Iris, let's not rewrite histopry my dear." Justin said, adopting a swagger as he moved close to her again. He sat down next to her and leaned in, whispering "You loved it. Didn't you?"

Iris's body shuddered as she gave into a fit of tears, shaking her head no.

"I gave you what you couldn't ask for. I was your prince." Justin continued. He lifted a hand to her face and Iris felt a strange tingling there, and then his hand moved down to her breast again, and he pushed her down on the bed again, climbing on top of her and kissing her neck. "I can heal you Iris, whatever's wrong I can fix now. There's nothing I can't do for you. No way I can't take care of you." he whispered into her ear. A flush went over Iris, her whole body felt electrified underneath him, and the most primitive part of her want him to take her right there. The part of her that recalled every time he'd ever moved inside of her, that remembered every wincing bite, every bruising clutch of her flesh. She relaxed beneath him and he began to hitch up her skirt. "Just admit to me that you wanted it, admit it to yourself, and this can all be over." he said as he unbuckled his pants and positioned himself between her legs.

Iris forced herself to remember the ache of his hand as he hit her, anything to fight the desire in her own body. She flipped through bible verses in her mind until she finally eeked out, "Do you know what the Bible says about men who make love to their sisters? Do you know what God does to men who damn their own flesh and blood?" Justin stopped and dropped he head into the crook of Iris's neck. "C'mon baby, don't be this way." he said. In all her life Justin had never once referred to her by anything more affectionate than Ira. Her whole body tensed underneath him.

"Get off of me." Iris said finding her resolve, "Your hands condemn me."

Justin pushed up off of her and he stood next to her on the bed. Iris rose up and stared at him defiantly. "Condemn you Ira, really." Justin said smiling, and for a moment Iris braced herself for another hit. "I'm the only person who ever gave a fuck about you." he said maintaining the chill in his voice. Iris couldnt' recall him ever cusssing at her before, the pendulum was swaying back and forth in him and she could see it. It didn't bode well for her, or the Alexei she had known in childhood. "Mother could have cared less, and father never came back for his little girl, did he?" Justin asked almost spitting in her face as he punctuated the words mother and father. Iris stared up at him, though tears were streaming down her face. "No Iris, I'm every moment that ever mattered in your life."

Justin turned to leave. "What is it that you're doing to me now then?" Iris called after him. Justin turned on his heel at the door.

"I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago." he said looking are her full of derision. "I'm being the man, I'm taking care of things. I'm protecting what's mine." Justin nodded his head as though he was thinking to himself, "It was my fault for letting it go on this long. I should have locked you away a long, long time ago." Justin looked down at the floor, then across the room at his sister. "I loved you, I wanted you to be free. But I see now, you can't. Your like Lucifer, power hungry and jealous." Justin thought again before looking at Iris one last time, "So selfish." he said wrinkling his features as he opened the door and exited. Iris listened to the sound of the lock and dropped back onto the bed, leaning into her pillow and sobbing hard and loud. She didn't care anymore if he could hear her.

Justin leaned against the door listening to the choking, deep sobbing of his sister and he tapped his forehead agains the door ever so lightly a few times, in his own frustration, before walking down the hall toward the stairs. Justin told himself that he would try again when he brought her breakfast, to pull her close to him and hold her, to undo whatever spell Jack Teirnan had cast over her. 


	22. Chapter 22

Jack walked up the brick pathway to the white house that loomed over the perfectly manicured green lawn, and the symmetrical topiary of pink rose bushes. Jack noted that they were all somehow the exact same shade of blush, not a varied hue among them. They were prize winners. The door and trim along the house was a shining lacquered black. The house was a stark contrast to the newly afforded opulence of the Crowe house. This home, this landscape, had been the product of a different kind of planning.

When the door opened Jack was struck by the woman stadning before him, he was in a word, beautiful. She was a little plump all the way around, and her blonde hair was turning white toward the front, but her complexion was completely devoid of lines or wrinkles, it was this anomalous quality, Jack decided, that made her appearance so striking. She smiled at him, not knowing who he was, and Jack recognized Rose immediately. Her face had an open quality to it, that made her cheeks seem rosey like a little girl, and her eyes twinkled just so. Jack could see what the allure of Rose would be, she was open, inviting. She also looked naive. Even at fifty. Jack knew too well that such a quality was the biggest aphrodisiac to men like Dr. Dahlia. 

Jack thought Rose and Iris must have made two sides of a coin as young friends. Iris was closed tight, and untouchable. Time wore on her, and while it didn't detract from her beauty, at least to him, it made her seem keen. Jack was attracted to Rose because she looked like she would feel wonderful in his arms, he was drawn to Iris because her embrace seemed like something that had to be coaxed out. Iris was a mystery to unwind, Rose was a joy to behold.

"I'm looking for Rose Thacker." Jack said, adopting a friendly tone. Rose's expression fell only slightly as she knitted her light blonde eyebrows together. It'd been a long time since Jack had really looked at a natural blonde. 

"I haven't been Thacker for a long time." she smiled, "it's Darling now." Rose opening the door fully and motioned for Jack to enter. "Please, do come in." she said. Jack crossed the threshold and took in the shining wood banisters, the marble floors and figures, the framed canvases along the walls, and the glittering chandelier overhead. Rose had done well for herself it seemed. Jack dropped his eyes back down to her light brown ones. 

"I'm Jack Tiernan." he said reaching out his hand. Rose grasped it firmly and shook.

"Hi Jack." she said, still smiling. "You'll have to forgive me, but I come from regular folks, and I feel more comfortable with informal addresses." she smiled bigger. Jack strangely, could see how Iris and Rose would have gotten on well. They had different aims, but neither one seemed to care much foe pomp and circumstance.

"Well Rose, perhaps we could have a seat, if you have a moment." Jack said, still posturing a bit, but smiling with the earnestness that made him so good at what he was about to do.

"Sure." Rose said walking ahead of him into the front parlor. Jack watched the switch of her hips as she walked ahead of him. The skirt of her yellow dress hitched with her walk, and Jack had to admit it stirred him up a bit. She worked her body with the confidence of a taxi dancer, though her figure was a bit heftier than most women he'd seen that walked attached to. Jack decided that's what he liked about it. It was defiant. As Jack moved his eyes down her figure he realized she wasn't wearing any shoes, but her feeet weren't calloused. He figured she must spend most of her time indoors, though she was definitely still a down to earth person, having been unable to adapt to all of the customs of the new class she found herself in.

"This is a lovely home you have here." Jack said as he took a seat across from Rose in an overstuffed chair, as she settled into a matching loveseat, curling her legs up under her more like a child than an adult. 

"I fell in love with a rich man, well he became rich." she laughed. "He was British too." she added. "What was a young girl to do?"

"How did you two meet?" Jack asked, actually curious to hear about what had become of the poor pregnant maid from a middle of nowhere town.

"Oh, twenty odd years ago I worked as a maid for a producer in the Hollywood Hills." she said, looking up toward the ceiling and dreamily began recalling her courtship. "Roger was a theatre actor who'd moved to Hollywood to be in pictures." she went on. "He wasn't having much luck, but he'd become friends with my employer, and they began working on a screenplay together." she gushed. She leaned in toward Jack, "Everyday they would have lunch together, and I would bring it to them on the balcony that overlooked the whole city." Rose dropped her tone, "Of course I thought he was absolutely handsome, but I was just the help so I knew better than to stand around looking coy. But one day after I brought their plates into the kitchen, I was loading the dishes into the sink and I noticed a slip of paper under Roger's plate." Rose looked up at Jack and smirked, "So of course I picked it up and read it. It was a little verse." Rose paused and lifted her eyebrows again, she had wonderfully expressive eyebrows Jack noted. "Do you want to hear it?"

Jack began to open his mouth when Rose continued on, "Okay, I'll recite it to you." She straightened up on the sofa as if she was getting ready to recite a theme in highschool speech class. "Whirlwinds and whirlpools, you are such as this, improper and strong, pulling me into my nature." She smiled, happy she'd managed to get it right, and relaxed back into the loveseat. Jack sat back and smiled, Rose was the most youthful fifty year old he'd ever seen.

"Well," Jack said smiling, "so he was passionate about you from the beginning?"

"I thought it was for someone else!" Rose laughed. "I went back and handed it to him, apologizing." she said. "He put it back in my hand, and held it there long enough for me to go weak in the knees, and told me that it was for me."

"So what happened?" Jack asked, leaning on his knees and motioning with a twirl of his fingers the decadent details of the room they were sitting in, the fixtures along the walls alone worth a small fortune.

"I told him I couldn't accept it." Rose said, leaning back, "I was determined to be an independent young woman at the time." She looked at Jack smiling, "But he wouldn't relent. Finally my boss told me that I had to go on a date with Roger, because he was tired of having him over for lunch everyday." Rose sobered her tone, playing with a doiley on the arm of her loveseat. "We were married a month later, and stayed together until he passed away this last winter." Rose looked up anticipating Jack's curiosity. "Roger died of pneumonia while he was back in England visiting family." Rose looked down, and for the first time Jack saw something that looked like discomfort on her face. The pain was still fresh.

"Sounds like a fairytale beginning." Jack said, thinking back to his own dead wife and their hurried dash to San Francisco to live in sin in the golden hills of California.

"Not at first," Rose looked up and smiled. "We were poor at first, living in a one room bungalo on the outskirts of town." Rose laughed. "But thankfully it turned out Roger was a better writer than actor, and he got signed on at one of the studios." Rose looked around the living room. "We built a fortune slowly, putting most of it into this house." she smiled, "It's all I have left of him, of us." She looked away wistfully.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Jack offered. "I'm a widow myself. I lost my wife Maddy eight years ago." Rose reached out a hand and Jack reached out and squeezed it. She had the softest skin he'd ever felt.

"You poor dear, so young." Rose exclaimed with genuine sympathy and sorrow. "The greif does strange things," she said, wiping at a few errant tears. "It was just me and my mother growing up, and she died from the drink when I was a teenager." she said, half-smiling strangely. "We never had children, and after Roger died, I was desperate for comfort. I only just recently wrote to a friend I hadn't spoken to since I was back in Mintern." She paused, "That's where I'm from." Rose exhaled dramatically before continuing on, "I don't know why after so long." Rose giggled, "I saw her picture in the paper and got the impulse to write her." Rose collected herself. "Can you imagine? After twenty years, pouring your heart out into a letter?" 

"That's alright." Jack said leaning in closer to Rose, "When Maddy first died I used to fall asleep fully dressed on the couch in the living room." Jack laughed softly, his eyes shining. "I didn't have anyone to tell me it was time for bed." They both sighed at each other and relaxed a bit more.

"Well Jack," Rose said smiling at the rather odd order of etiquette they were following, "now that we've gotten all of that out of the way," she gave in and actually laughed, "why don't you tell me what brought you to my door?" Jack felt a little unsure of what angle to take with Rose. He appraised her for a moment, and decided she was the inverse of Iris, so he should take the inverse approach with Rose, and be direct.

"I'm actually here to talk to you about Mintern, Rose." Jack paused and looked at Rose, she tensed up and that troubled look moved across her features. Jack didn't like it. "I'm a private detective and I'm trying to help someone locate their mother." Jack finally said, trying to push the words out as fast as possible. Rose just looked at him for awhile before looking down, then looking back up at him, like a little girl. Then she brought her hand to her forehead, running her fingers along her hairline, and looking completely her age. She looked at him across the table.

"I've been waitng for you for a long time." she said. She sat up straight and blinked a few times,. "So, tell me about him." Rose smiled at Jack like an eager schoolgirl.

"His name is Caleb. He's twenty-five now. He lives in San Francisco," Jack paused, Rose was smling, her eyes twinkling. "where he met and hired me." Jack stopped again for a moment, lifting his eyebrows.

"Please, go on." Rose said, "I'm not upset, really." she reassured him.

"He was completing part of his studies here in Los Angeles when he came across his birth records." Jack shifted in his chair, "All he knew was that his birth mother was twenty-four and unwed from a town called Mintern in the Central Valley. Caleb found out from a nurse who worked at the hopsital at that time, that a Dr. Dahlia had helped arrange for her stay becaues she had worked for him when she came into the family way." Jack smiled sheepishly at Rose. "Your son is very bright," he said adding a hint of admiration to his voice, "I've been doing this for a long time, and I can tell you that last bit of information couldn't have been easy to get out of a person."

Rose smiled proudly, absently rubbing her stomach. "What does he look like Jack?" she asked.

"He's a little shorter than me. He's sturdy." Jack smiled, he'd never actually done this part before. "He's blond, and he has brown eyes, just like his mother." Jack paused again for a moment remembering his secretary Helen smiling and blushing as she'd handed Caleb a cup of coffee back in his office in San Francisco. "And I believe my secretary finds him quite charming." Jack laughed.

Rose smiled bigger, bringing her hands up to her mouth and a tear streamed down her cheek. "Is he happy?" she asked.

Jack thought for a moment. "Well, I think that's something you could decide for yourself if you wanted to. Caleb would very much like to meet you Rose." Jack said smiling at her, trying to open his features into an expression conveying the hope Caleb had when he'd hired Jack.

"There hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't thought about him." Rose said. "It was such a confusing thing when it happened. I was so frightened."

"I can only imagine Rose." Jack tried to reassure her.

"The father was a wealthy married man, and I was just a maid. He insisted I give it up. He was a doctor too, he wanted me to kill it at first, but I wouldn't." Rose said, looking at the floor. "To make matters worse, my best friend at the time took off to live with her brother across the country right before I started to show." Rose looked off to the side, at something out the window.

"So you didn't have anyone to help you when the baby came?" Jack asked, checking off now the third thing Iris had lied to him about. His mind raced to think of why she would have really left the Dahlia employ early, why she would have abandoned her friend.

"No, Iris had well..." Rose trailed off.

"Go on Rose." Jack encouraged. "It's okay. I'm not here to judge anyone." Jack said, getting up and moving to the loveseat to sit next to Rose.

"Iris, well. I'd been sleeping with this man, and I thought Iris was too. Then one day she shows up with love bites all over. I started to notice little changes." Rose looked up at Jack. Jack looked back at her, all trace of his sincerity brought to the forefront. He was good at making people confess things, and this was one of the most important confessions, the one he had the most personally at stake in.

"I suppose it doesn't matter now." Rose shrugged. "Iris, that was my best friend, she had a new lover. Someone young from the marks he left on her." Rose began to play with the edge of her dress. "I was already jealous before, then I was happy when she got this new boyfriend. I thought it meant I could have Dr. Dahlia all to myself again." Rose stopped, realizing what she'd just let slip. 

"No one's going to tell Rose." Jack reassured, "If it makes you feel any better, I already had that much figured out."

"Then everything collided. I think Dr. Dahlia found out, about the boyfriend, and got mad at Iris, because he started treating her differently." Rose said, rubbing her temples. "Which made me more upset, because I thought Dr. Dahlia really loved her to get so mad."

"How so Rose?" Jack prompted, moving a hand over hers, and looking at her with open affection. She returned the look with her wet stare, and he knew she was getting lost in his eyes. He squeezed her hand to intensify the effect. 

"He would berate her in front of everyone, and he must've been saying even worse things behind closed doors, because Iris always looked scared. She would just take it, which wasn't like her." Rose said, dropping her eyes. "Iris was an unusual person Jack, but when she got her new boyfriend, she seemed to become more moody, almost melancholly."

"Did you tell Iris about the baby?" Jack asked, edging closer to Rose.

"Mad as I was at her, she was the first one I told." Rose laughed. "I was so happy at first, thinking Dr. Dahlia would have to leave his wife. When I realized that wasn't going to happen, I just got mad at Iris. Mad that it happened to me instead of her." Rose leaned into Jack. "Then there was her brother. Everything for him. I guess she finally got fed up with Dr. Dahlia and left to stay with her brother. Or maybe..." Rose stopped. Jack was afraid Rose was getting cold feet.

"Or maybe what Rose?" Jack asked, rubbing a hand along her back.

"I got a call from her from St. Paul. I felt like she was trying to tell me something." Rose sighed. "She just said my name, and she was crying, but trying to hide it. Then she asked me if I could 'forgive her if she told me she'd', if she told me she'd'...and that was it." Rose turned to Jack, he could see she was still puzzling over the meaning of it. "I thought she meant if she confessed to having an affair with Dr. Dahlia." Rose looked down at the floor. "And in the middle of all of it, there was this baby, waiting to be born."

Jack pulled Rose closer to him. "Rose, I can't think of a more complicated situation to have a child in." Jack pulled away from her looking into her eyes and smling. "And I think Caleb will understand. He's very anxious to meet you. He was adopted by good people. He's lived a life of priviledge, and he knows that. He's not angry with you."

"I've thought back on that time so much Jack." Rose said, smiling weakly. "I've wanted so many times to try and find him."

"I don't think it matters so much who found who Rose." Jack said. 

"You're right. I'm just nervous. Twenty-five years is a long time to carry around this burden." Rose said.

"Well, it's not a burden anymore." Jack smiled down at her.

"You have no idea how relieved I am that this has finally happened." Rose conceded.

"Actually, I find that people usually are in these types of situations." Jack said taking on his more professional tone again. "If you want, we could call him right now and you could talk to him."

"Oh, I don't know." Rose said, unsure.

"C'mon," Jack said standing up and helping Rose to her feet. "Twenty-five years is a long time, you said so yourself." Jack wrapped an arm around her diminutive shoulders guiding her to the phone. "I tell you what Rose. I'll call him and tell him that I've found you, but I won't tell him I'm with you, and if you want to, if you feel ready, you can take the phone and talk to him."

Rose looked up at him unsure and he picked up her telephone and dug in his pocket for Caleb's number. He looked at Rose as he dialed, "I guarantee your going to be wrestling me for the phone as soon as I get him on the line." Jack laughed. "I've seen it a dozen times."

Rose smiled weakly at him, and suddenly Jack's head shot up. "Hello, Caleb? Yeah it's me Jack." he smiled down at Rose. Her eyes were wide and her face flushed, her hands were clasped together in prayer at her lips, and she was already reaching for the phone. 


	23. Chapter 23

Justin sat in his study looking out the window as Sofie hung the week's laundry out on the line, slinging his long robes over the lines and straightened them along the wires. Justin toyed with the envelope still in his pocket, the letter from a Rose, most likely the Rose. He debated whether or not to just open the letter plainly and decide whether or not it was something for Iris to see, or to try and stealthily open the letter somehow before sliding it under Iris's door as if nothing had happened. Justin wasn't quite used to being the tyrant to Iris's cowering peasant, and he didn't like it, but he wondered now if a line had been crossed that couldn't be gotten back over. Justin was wondered how fully to abandon himself to this new dynamic at play. Some part of his better reason was yelling at him to race up the stairs and unlock his sister's door immediately with the hopes that she might still have some ability to forgive him for his actions in the past few days.

Justin thought again of Iris as a young woman, coming home each day from the Dahlia's exhausted and quiet, a million miles away from him. It filled him with sadness again. He thought of the time in St. Paul when she'd lost her mind right before his eyes. He'd never been so terrified as in that moment as he watched her screaming and yelling before him about damnation, ripping at her hair and collapsing on herself. He'd felt like a child that had broken something that he had no idea how to fix. The first few weeks it'd been easy enough to stop what he was doing. The idea that Iris didn't want him was enough to make him sick when he would remember anything intimate about her at all. The last thing he'd ever wanted to do was take advantage of his sister. Iris's seduction held no erotic pull for him at all. He took comfort in that much. But as the weeks gave way to months he found it harder and harder to remember why exactly it was forbidden, only that it was. And for the many years between then and now it had stayed that way, a desire that wasn't quenched or ignited by much of anything, but rather a steady, constant thing, that way merely controlled through habit.

Justin dug into his pocket and opened the envelope without trying to hide what he was doing. The letter was written on good stationary, Justin immediately recognized it as something a woman of a high station would have in her social arsenal. The handwriting was slanted and delicate much like a woman of learning. The writing was so neat that Justin recognized it for the late draft that it was. It contained none of the stops or crossed lines of a letter written as it was thought, but rather it had the polished look of ideas that had been refined over and over again into paragraphs that seemed rather anemic. Justin realized that this was indeed the Rose from Iris's past. She was writing to tell Iris she had seen her in the paper and was surprised to learn that she'd been back in Mintern for so many years. Rose went on to explain she'd been married and widowed and now lived in Los Angeles. The letter ended without really asking for a response, or inquiring much about Iris's life. It was more a brief statement than anything else. Justin thought it was rather odd in that sense.

The past twenty years passed through Justin's mind as he thought of his sister and caressed the heavy stationary in his hands. A moment in St. Paul as she sat on his lap breathing heavily as he unbuttoned the top of her dress. Years later standing together at the entrance of the church shaking hands with each family as they left, the first day at First Methodist. A little girl had emerged from behind her mother's skirt and looked up at Iris plainly and said "You're pretty." Iris had smiled at the girl before turning to Justin and looking at him with an expression he couldn't quite understand, but he later interpreted as grief over her own lack of children. As Justin made his way upstairs with the letter in hand he thought again of Iris only a few months ago in his bedroom, sitting on his bed in her slip, watching him get dressed. The return to a kind of domestic bliss after so many years of denial had been all too brief. He stood in front of her door, debating whether or not to just unlock it in this moment and bow his head in shame.

He couldn't do it though. Instead he slipped the opened letter under her door and walked away. He heard the sound of Iris on the other side of the door, picking up the letter. He stopped for a moment, waiting, listening for any other sounds. He heard the faint strain of bed springs and realized that Iris was sitting down on her bed now. Justin walked back to the door and let his hand rest against it for a moment, wanting to unlock it and push his way in. He just stood there for a long moment. He heard Iris take a sharp breath in, and then the wet sniffling of stifled tears. Her tears destroyed him. He reached up quietly and slipped the key into the lock and turned it until the hasp opened in the lock and opened. He slid it from the latch and dropped it into his pocket. He stood for a moment again at the door, questioning his reasoning over and over again, but unable to follow a line of logic further than his desire to open the door to his sister.

Justin slowly turned the handle and pushed open the door. Iris was sitting on the bed in the green dress she'd bought the other day in town. Her hair was down and she was barefoot, yet she still did look put together. She didn't look up at him, but rather continued reading the letter she held in her lap. Justin closed the door behind himself and stood there silently, until she finally looked up at him. Her eyes were wet and her skin looked slightly pink and raw, but she didn't look angry or sad per se.

"How long ago did I get this?" Iris asked, curiosity the only definite emotion in her voice.

"Yesterday." Justin said folding his hands in front of him, not making a move to come closer. "It came in the mail, I put it in my pocket to give to you," he said before looking off to the side, "and then I forgot." Iris looked back down, cradling her cheek where she'd been hit, remembering what it was that had distracted her brother. "You look better today." Justin ventured as he craned his neck to get a better look at her face. He'd tried to take back the anger he'd manifested across her features the day before, but he'd left before he'd really gotten a good look at his handiwork.

"Yes." Iris looked up at him, and he could see now that the line of her jaw had returned to normal and that the ugly black eye that he'd hardly remembered giving to her had disappeared. "It was quite a surprise when I looked in the mirror." she said without changing her tone. Iris continued to watch him as he stood before her, and he let his eyes move over her body. After several moments Justin crossed the floor to Iris and sat down next to her on the bed. Justin slid his arm around Iris's shoulder and pulled her to him. He leaned down and kissed her shoulder through her dress.

"You know," he said lifting his face and tucking her hair behind her ear, "if I could have given you a normal life, I would have." Iris turned to face him, looking at him with a lift of her eyebrows, expectantly. "We all made choices Iris." he said before leaning in and kissing her forehead. "Just ask me, and I will forgive you." Iris pulled away from him. "Iris," Justin said, straightening his posture, "you can't really believe that you could have any kind of life with that man? What do you think would happen when he found out about the fire?" Iris looked at him, narrowing her eyes. "Oh, come now Iris. You don't think he'd find out? He's a detective Iris. I bet you at this very moment he's making his way to the prison to see Tommy Dolan. What do you think Tommy will have to say?"

Iris got up from the bed and began to pace around the room. Justin sat watching her, smiling. Iris stopped and looked down at him, tears springing from her eyes without benefit of sound. "I thought I had to, I thought it was for the best." she said. "You wanted me to do it."

"No Iris." Justin said standing up and moving to hug her. "I never wanted that. You decided that. Can't you see, it's your nature. A normal life has never been in the cards for you. You will always be pulled to what you are." Justin took her face in his hands and kissed her softly. Iris didn't react and Justin pulled away. He dropped his hands to his sides. He looked at her again before moving past her to the door. He turned to face her at the door. Iris still had her back to him, her head even still slightly tilted toward the place he'd just been. "Do what you want Iris." Justin called out. Iris turned around and looked at Justin quizzically. Justin pulled the key from his pocket and dropped it on the floor in front of him. "I'll trust you not to leave the house." he said, and turned on his heel and walked out.

Iris stood there for a moment, staring at the key on the floor, then up at the open door in front of her. She looked back toward the bed and the open letter that was laying there. She walked over to her vanity and opened up the first drawer pulling out a piece of paper and a pen and began drafting a letter to Rose, confessing everything. Iris's head began spinning as her hand formed the familiar words, into the the strings of sentences detailing the horrid truths she'd made since she was a young woman in St. Paul. She scratched them out and began a new, this time drafting a letter to Jack, but she quickly scratched out his name and wrote Rose's again. She wrote out a single sentence and sat back staring at it, rereading it over and over again silently. _I've always been in love with my brother._


	24. Chapter 24

Iris felt strange when she woke up, it was pitch dark in the room, and then she remembered the wood panels that Justin had nailed over her window. She got out of bed and walked over to the window and peeked through one of the small cracks between the wood slats, but all she saw was black. It was still dark out. Iris turned on her bedside lamp and the warm glow of the room reminded her of early mornings in her room in Mintern when she would wake up before the rest of the house and get ready for work at the Dahlias, before it was decided it would be best for her to live in the Dahlia house full time. Iris smiled to herself at the memory of the peaceful quietude afforded her in those mornings. Iris felt something stirring in the air, that she must get ready for something today.

She took a long bath. And after she took a long time getting dressed and pinning up her hair. She sat down at her vanity and opened the drawer full of her makeup. Makeup she never really had occasion or desire to wear. She looked at herself in the mirror, appraising herself, she took her time putting on an entire face of makeup. She'd looked at herself when she'd finished and was actually impressed for a brief second. She couldn't recall a time when she'd been more done up. She wasn't sure why the impulse had overtaken her, but she had nothing better to do than submit to it. She looked around the room for a moment, taking in the quiet solitude of it. Iris decided that maybe she would do this every morning, that it was time for something to change. She heard something at her window and her heart raced.

She edged close to the window, someone was loosening one of the slats. She waited with baited breath, worried that it might be Jack.. Iris looked at herself in the mirror, from across the room she could see her entire figure, and she realized that she looked like a beautiful woman. It startled her a bit. She turned her attention back to the window in time to see one of the slats being pulled away. Christopher was standing there, perched on a ladder. He held up the slat and looked at her questioningly. Iris simply shrugged her shoulders and he let the slat fall to the ground. It didn't make a sound as it landed in the soft grass down below. Iris moved closer to the window, wondering what Justin would think if he came in on this scene, with this young redheaded boy looming at her window before the sun had even brightened the sky enough to properly illuminate his angelic features.

Iris looked back at her door, but the house was still quiet and the door was latched. If Justin tried to come in she would have plenty of time to shoo Christopher away. Iris turned back to the window and move closer to it smiling. Christopher moved his eyes up and down her figure and lifted his eyebrows in an exaggerated look of approval. Iris smiled and batted her eyes at him briefly. Christopher's expression shifted back into the more serious state at which it rested most of the time and he placed his palm to the glass. Iris reached out and touched the glass with her own hand. Without really thinking Iris moved closer to the glass and placed a kiss on the window, closing her eyes and resting in the position for a minute. When she opened her eyes she saw that Christopher had closed his eyes too, and was resting his forehead on the glass. He looked up and blinked at her a few times. Christopher reached into his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper he pressed it to the glass. There was a handwritten message scrawled across it. _Are you alright? Do you need anything?_ Iris looked up at him and lifted her finger for him to wait and she went to her vanity and quickly wrote out a note and pressed it to the glass. Christopher nodded an affirmative to her and began to descend the ladder. Iris watched as the sun began to slowly brighten up the day through her window. She noticed her lip print in the deep plum lipstick she'd put on. She went to wipe it away, but stopped short and decide she liked it where it was.

Iris looked at herself in the mirror again, and indulgence more like her brother than herself. She stepped into the dark hallway. She crossed over to Justin's door and pushed it open. His room was still dark with all the curtains drawn and she could hear him breathing steadily. She sat down next to him on the bed, not sure what she was going to do. She waited for him to stir. Iris sat for a long time watching her brother dream. Justin slowly roused from sleep. He sat up on his elbows in the dark, blinking away the last traces of sleep. "Are you a ghost?" he asked with a voice heavy with the night.

Iris smiled in the dark. "No."

"What are you doing in here?" Justin asked, not angry or curious, but surprised. He sat up more fully in the bed.

"I don't know." Iris said truthfully. "I woke up early." she offered as explanation.

Justin pulled the covers back and maneuvered around where Iris was sitting so that they were sitting side by side on the edge of his bed. He ran his hands through his hair and looked at her, discerning her made up appearance more clearly as his eyes adjusted to the light. "You're made up for the day already?" He said, frowning slightly. "Am I supposed to take you somewhere? Did I forget something?" Justin asked forgetting himself and the strange course their relationship had taken over the past months, still orienting himself to the day.

"No." Iris said.

Justin looked down at their feet and turned to Iris smiling, "You're not wearing any shoes yet."

"Don't really need them if I'm just going to be walking around the house I don't think." Iris said, wiggling her toes. Justin reached down and grabbed one of her feet, pulling her whole leg into his lap. Iris fell back onto the bed, bending her knee to accommodate the gesture. Justin brought her foot to his mouth and kissed the top of it as Iris watched him keenly. He set her foot back down softly and crawled on top of Iris, hovering over her as she laid perfectly still beneath him. "You look beautiful." he said, and he leaned down and kissed her on the collar of her dress. Justin sat up and Iris propped herself up on her elbows to get a better look at him. "Come on." he said extending a hand out to her, "You'll ruin your hair rolling around on the bed like that." Iris took his hand and he pulled her up from the bed so they were standing together in the center of his room, breathing into each other's faces. Light was beginning to fill the room. Justin cradled the side of Iris's face with one hand and brought the other hand to her mouth, taking the cuff of his pajama sleeve and wiping the rouge off of her lips. He looked down at his sleeve briefly, at the dark burgundy smear there now, that resembled dried blood in the twilight of the morning. He looked down at her and smiled before leaning down and kissing her. Iris surrendered to him this time, letting her arms snake under his and around his waist. Iris felt something inside of her, a tingling desire pulling at her from the bellybutton as she submitted to the force of his mouth.

Iris pulled away from the kiss and bowed her head, bringing her hand to her mouth, almost embarrassed at her reaction to his affection. Iris always forgot how powerful the pull of Justin was. She looked up and caught his eye as he stood before her. Even first thing in the morning he was beautiful, one of the mot handsome creatures she'd ever known. Such thoughts at one time had been merely pride and only pride. Iris felt a waive of guilt at the desire that now inspired such thoughts. She looked down again trying to cool her desire, remembering every slight she ever suffered at his hands. Every ache she's felt because of him. More and more this was tactic that was failing Iris. Since the change had started to take place. Iris took the force with which he'd hit her the other day as a consolation that at least he was finding it harder to control his feelings for her as well.

They stood like that for a few moments quietly. Iris turned and walked out of the room without saying anything else.

Iris retreated to her room until she heard the shower in Justin's bathroom turn on. She made her way up into the attic and began digging through the old boxes of letters and photographs and scrapbooks. She wasn't looking for anything in particular, just reminiscing. She sat on the floor, fully made up and barefoot until the sun was beaming into the attic windows and she felt her skin baking in persistent sunbeam. She made her way down the stairs and felt a chill over her body as she stepped into the cool hallway. She walked down the second set of stairs leading to the living room and kitchen. She heard muffled laughing and peering around the corner to see Sofie and Justin sitting at the breakfast table sharing a joke over something in the paper. Iris just stopped and stared for a moment. Iris heard something near the front door and turned her head away from the scene in front of her. She thought she saw Christopher's familiar silhouette moving behind the closed screen door.

"Iris, you look beautiful." Sofie said, startling Iris's attention back to the breakfast table.

"Oh, thank you Sofe." Iris said smiling half heartedly at Sofie and Justin as they both stared at her from behind their respective sections of the morning paper. "If you'll excuse me." she said before heading for the front porch. There was nothing on the other side of the screen door now as she approached it. She leaned against the screen, half opening it with her body weight, searching the open yard in front of her. Christopher stepped into her line of vision, smiling. Iris smiled widely and pushed the door open all the way, lingering before stepping out onto the porch, looking down at her barefoot. Contemplating whether or not to put on proper shoes. She decided against it and stepped onto the wood porch. The wood was still cold from the evening under her feet. She let the screen door slam shut and Christopher followed her the collapsable table at the far end of the porch. Christopher pulled out a chair for her before taking his own seat. They sat for awhile not looking at each other, but not really looking at anything else either. Christopher pulled a beaten up paperback novel from out of his coat and handed it to Iris.

"It's a good one then?" Iris said, smiling at him. Christopher just smiled briefly before reaching into his jacket and pulling out another small beaten up volume and opening up to a book marked page. And they settled slowly into their chairs, not looking up to acknowledge each other a second time.

Justin and Sofie stood at sink, watching as Iris and Christopher sat reading together on the porch. "What do you think it is between the two of them?" Justin asked looking down and smiling at Sofie.

Sofie looked back out at the two figures hunched over their books. Sofie looked up at Justin and shrugged her shoulders slightly. "Maybe she's teaching him to read?"

"I thought he was slow." Justin said, not really to Sofie as he looked back out onto the porch again.

"Well no one's ever heard him speak a lick." Sofie offered. "Even if he ain't slow, he must be afflicted with something." Sofie looked away wistfully, unable to bear the sudden sharp memory of her own mother. "It ain't normal to be silent like that." Justin looked down at Sofie. "I mean, never having anything to say for yourself? Can you really imagine that?" She explained.

"Maybe he doesn't think people are worth talking to." Justin offered to no one again, already looking back at the stoic tableau on the porch.

"That's even worse." Sofie laughed.

"But it would be rather miraculous don't you think Sofie?" Justin said turning to look at her fully. "Something like that would require a great deal of self-control."

"Well," Sofie said smirking, "I don't think we're dealing with a miracle Justin. I think he's just damaged like the rest of the migrants that find their way here." Sofie looked out the window again, "Probably looking for Iris to heal him or something." Sofie nudged Justin out of the way. "Now go ahead and get out of my way, I need to wash these dishes and start getting lunch ready."

"Oh yes, I'm sorry." Justin smiled sliding out of Sofie's way and retreating into the living room. Sofie watched as Justin disappeared completely from view and leaned more fully over the sink trying to get a better look at Christopher and Iris on the porch. Watching for any secret signals they might be sending each other. A few extra blinks or maybe a crossed leg and a sigh at just the right moment. She wasnt' quite sure what Iris was up to, but Sofie's remorse only gave her enough guilt to feel happy that Iris had been freed from her room. But she was no where near sorry enough to tolerate seeing Iris happy and content. Sofie felt something strange in her stomach as she took Iris in. She's never seen her made up that way before, and Sofie was realizing in this moment, that Iris was a beautiful woman, and something else. That there was more depth to her than Sofie had given her credit for. There was a confidence, a power that she had, that she never used. Much like Christopher's voice. Sofie thought again about what Justin had said. Sofie wondered at how much self-control Iris had. A sinking feeling moved through Sofie, she had misjudged Iris, but by how much?


	25. Chapter 25

Justin was getting lost in Iris as he sat on the other side of the porch from her and her redheaded little minion. He couldn't recall a time when he'd seen her more decorated and painted. But it was more than that, the whole manner in which she was carrying herself was different. As though his whole life there had been a completely different person inside of her than the one he'd known, and she was only now emerging for the world to see. She looked gorgeous but there wasn't a single thing about her betraying that she didn't look this way every day. There wasn't anything about her that matched with her status of ugly duckling. Of course Justin had always been in love with Iris in some way or another, but he'd never really been with the physical of her, it had always of course, been much more complex than that.

Justin was spying the pout of her mouth, exaggerated by the dark lipstick she was wearing. She'd reapplied since she'd been to visit him this morning. Justin recalled again the way her lipstick had looked smeared across his sleeve. He felt ugly at being aroused by what it had reminded him of, but in his own mind he unleashed his more nefarious desires for a moment. His whole body ached to be inside of her at this moment, not for release, but just relief. The growing restlessness that was within him, that was only growing as he neared closer and closer to his destiny, and in these moments he would become overwhelmed with the gut level belief that being inside of her would somehow be able to set a peace over him. He felt his collar getting tighter, itchier. He slid a finger between his flesh and the course fabric of his shirt to try and sooth the growing determination in his mind. He tried to think of anything else. He imagined Jack kissing Iris, tried to conjure the image of her head thrown back in ecstatic pleasure as the large detective worked on top of her, something to calm down his desire.

But he couldn't get any of those feelings to stick at the moment. Instead he caught himself staring at her bare feet sliding back and forth against one of the table legs as she sat reading, absently twirling a piece of her hair. The memory of being on top of her in his bed in the morning shadows threatened to break Justin right out of his skin. He tried to stare at the newspaper in front of him, to focus on something other than the idea of grabbing her up from where she sat and dragging her into the house. Justin closed his eyes as sighed deeply, letting himself imagine how it would feel fuck Iris right there in the hallway, with the threat of Sofie a few rooms away humming a tune and cooking lunch. Justin caught a shiver, and set the paper down. He sneaked another look at Iris, she was looking over at him, not suspiciously, but with a look of what Justin took for genuine curiosity. She smiled at him briefly before turning back to to her book. She was flirting with him. Justin watched more openly now, watching the subtle movements of Christopher's feet under the table, never quite touching Iris's, but some how miraculously mirroring her movements exactly.

Justin felt a twinge of envy realizing that Iris and her young charge were much more like brother and sister that he and Iris were, or had been in a long time. Justin tried to think back through the flash book images of their childhood, suddenly feeling unsure that they had ever been that close. Iris it seemed to Justin, had always known him better than he knew himself. But when he thought back on it, most of his memories were of chasing Iris off into whatever dark places her mind was wandering. He'd never doubted her devotion to him, not once. But the frustration he was feeling now, the intense conflict of wanting to grab her up now and devour her, was the same frustration he'd felt for Iris his whole life Always he felt so close to her, yet somehow so far away. Justin always sensed that there was some part of her that she was holding away from him.

He hadn't planned on it, on what had happened the night that he made love to her in his childhood bed. Granted, some part of him had always known that there wasn't something quite right about him, he'd just never known quite what it was until that moment. He'd been so angry at Iris for being drunk that night, but he hadn't meant to hurt her, and he hadn't thrust himself on top of her out of petulance either. The angry at her drunk state was just a mitigating factor. It had been the emotional abandonment of her work at the Dahlia's. It had been the year sent to live in seminary, with nothing to think of but every moment they'd ever spent together. At first he'd been horrified when he'd caught himself thinking about her naked body as he drifted off to sleep, but steadily over time he'd become comfortable with the thoughts, not even bothering to chide himself for wondering what it would feel like to kiss her. What it would feel like to be inside of her. Until before he realized what had happened, he was married to her in his mind.

Without question, without reservation he wanted Iris. He hadn't even thought about how he might bring it up to her, or how those feelings might change the way he acted toward her when he saw her. That she might figure it out about him. He didn't care. The way it'd worked itself out in Justin's mind was that it was destined to be. It was his fate. As Justin had pushed inside of his sister, getting lost in the feel of her, even as awkward and inexperienced as he was, all he'd thought was that God had given Iris to him as a gift. That his whole life, that everything in the universe was fated to bring them together. Iris hadn't fought him, and later that night as he'd knelt between her legs like he was praying, and he'd listened to the sounds of her first orgasm, he knew that she'd felt it too. Justin felt he'd become a man that day, because he'd learned how to make Iris happy.

In the early time in St. Paul Justin had felt that he needn't really bother with any other accomplishments in his life. Justin would sit through classes thinking about the way Iris's little body felt pressed up against his, shuddering uncontrollably as he worshiped her sex. His mentor had tried to bless him one day in the office, and as Justin had sat with his head bowed, waiting for the feel of his teachers hand against his forehead, he'd broken into a cold sweat remembering the smell of Iris sitting on the kitchen table with her skirt hiked around her waist, her hands pulling at his hair, not wanting to come, coming anyway. Justin wanted to be with her all day everyday, inside of her as long as possible. He never grew tired of the sounds she made, the way her body looked and felt. Not once. In twenty odd years of living together Justin was still aroused by her. Iris was an infinitely opening mystery to Justin.

He focused his attention back to the table and watched as Christopher got up quietly from the table and tucked his book back into his jacket. Iris looked up at him for a moment and nodded her head at him and he turned around and walked into the yard toward the camps. Iris just returned to her book, bringing a hand unconsciously to her mouth. Justin's passions had actually managed to cool themselves for a moment as he sat taking Iris in. Wanting more than anything just to feel the slender dimensions of her body against his in just an embrace.

Justin crossed the porch to his sister and she looked up from her book smiling as he neared her. She already looked beautiful in her dress and her perfectly painted face, but her smile was an intoxicating thing to Justin, a delicacy. Justin slid Christopher's chair around and sat down next to Iris. "What are you reading?" he asked, not really looking at her, but marveling at the set of her hair and the perfectly layers blush on her cheeks. It was at once ridiculous and effective, as far as love spells went.

"Just a book." Iris said, closing the battered novel without bothering to mark her place. She turned to Justin and smiled more.

"Are you going to tell me what this is about Iris?" Justin finally said, looking down at his sister, but knowing already that he was, and always had been, at the mercy of her happiness.

"What do you mean?" Iris asked, not mocking humility, but not quite playing dumb either.

"Don't get me wrong my dear," Justin started smiling down at Iris with as much warmth as he could muster, "you look beautiful everyday. Regardless of how much you paint your face or pin your hair. However, I wouldn't mind if you dressed this way every day either. However, " Justin paused dramatically looking out at the yard. "I can't help but wonder what you're planning." Justin looked back down at Iris before continuing on. "I woke up this morning and you were in my bed smiling." Justin dropped his voice to whisper. "You've not bothered to even try to read the book in front of you."

Justin leaned back in his chair taking Iris's hand in his under the table and squeezing it briefly. "It's strange to me that you've gone from being quite upset to hanging out on the porch barefoot winking and nodding with a slow whitted Okie from down in the camps."

Iris let out a deep breath and tucked strands of hair that weren't there back up into her head. Justin waited for her to say something, but she just sat there quietly. She sat back in her chair, aligning her posture with Justin so they were both looking out into the rolling yellow hills that surrounded the house. "I just felt different this morning." she leaned forward and rested her head on the table. "I have no idea what's going to happen, I just woke up this morning and felt the urge to get dressed, like really dressed.." Iris lifted her head back up and settled back into an upright sitting position. "I just get the feeling that something important is about to happen."

Justin leaned forward on his knees, looking at the ground and then at Iris's feet. Her toes were turning a strange shade of lavender in the chill of the day. Justin noticed the weather for the first time in over month. The seasons' were changing, and though the sun was up high in the sky the chill of the night before was still setting on most things. "Iris look at your feet." Justin said laughing softly and shifting his eyes down below the table. Before Iris could really react Justin had grabbed both of her feet and set them in his lap. He rubbed his hands together and wrapped them around her cold flesh. "You're lucky your toes don't fall off Iris?" Justin said smiling rubbing his hands vigorously across her feet to warm them. "They're freezing."

"I suppose they did get a little cold out here." Iris said staring at them in Justin's lap.

"Well let's go inside and get some shoes and socks on you." Justin said, glad for this moment of utter respite from their struggle together.

Justin sat on the sofa in the living room looking out the window at the sprawling land that surrounded the house, wondering how it was going to be when it was a real kingdom full of buildings and nobility. Justin watched the train of trucks and cars glittering along the horizon, bringing in people and supplies to his New Canaan. It looked unbelievably hot down in the camps, but Justin rubbed his hands together again thinking about the chill of Iris's skin a few minutes prior. The chill of Iris's skin against his as he made love to her that first time flashed into his mind briefly The walk from the Dahlia's, even with the benefit of wine, had still been long enough to leave her with a cold, and when she'd arrived at Justin's her skin felt like ice against his. She'd laughed that even the elements couldn't seem to touch him he was so beloved by God. That's when he'd done it. When he'd pushed her down on the bed and kissed her. Justin laughed to himself comparing the boldness with which he'd gone about doing such a terrible thing compared to now. Justin focused again on the cars in the camp, noticing a shift in their direction. One was breaking away and driving toward the house.

Justin jumped to his feet thinking instantly that it was Jack coming to take his sister away. Maybe to elope with her in Mexico or whatever it was that men like him did. "Iris." Justin yelled out, already angry that she was going to force his hand this way, by blatantly, cavalierly bringing the detective back to the house. Coreen Templeton bed damned, Justin had made himself a promise about what he would do to the man he caught fucking his sister.

"What is it?" Iris called out as she clunked down the stairs, half in and half out of her shoes.

"Are you expecting anyone?" Justin said turning to her and pointing to the car making it's way toward the house.

"That's not one of the camp cars"? Sofie interrupted as she peered down the hall at Justin and Iris, both looking at each other quizzically.

"No." Justin said a little quicker and a little meaner than he'd meant too. He looked back at Iris sharply. But Iris just lifted her shoulders and shook her head. They both sat there for a minute each trying to think of who would be coming to see them unannounced. They both had their secrets, and they both worried that one day those secrets might cost them dearly.

Sofie was already at the window. "I don't recognize the car from town." she said as she pressed her face against the glass like a little girl.

"Well, Iris said finding a new kind of resolve from somewhere inside of her new dress, "Why don't' we go say hello?" Iris pushed ahead of Justin and opened the front door, only to have Sofie rush past her. "Sofie I don't' think it's going to be that exciting, I don't care who it is." Iris called out, almost laughing.

"Oh, I just wanted to hurry up and get the chairs Iris, I'm sorry." Sofie called out as she quickly unfolded more chairs. "I wouldn't want us to seem inhospitable." Iris stood in the door way watching as Sofie quickly worked at the furniture.. Her arms were sturdy and strong. Iris thought to herself that it felt kind of good to actually let Sofie do work. Iris felt the heat of Justin's body standing behind her. He reached out a hand and placed it on the back of her neck firmly. It sent of rush of fever and chill through her, both fear and intense arousal. Iris's shuddered a bit as she stepped away from Justin and out onto the porch to face whatever was waiting out there.


	26. Chapter 26

It was a woman. That much was evident as soon as she stepped out of her car. She was wearing a light dress with some sort of dark pink pattern on it. She was wearing a dark hat with some kind of light floral accent. The state of her dress matched her car, tastful, but evidently expensive none the less. As the woman began to walk toward porch, Iris recognized something. The woman's loping gait, somewhere between being bowlegged and and strut, Iris only ever knew one person to possess such a walk. A strange feeling came over her, she felt light headed and nervous, and at the same time hopeful. She was sure it was Rose. Iris realized now that what she'd been feeling all day was the intention behind Rose's words in the letter she'd sent. Iris knew Rose better than she thought, some where in the brief summary of a life lived and the well edited prose Iris had gathered that Rose was working up to this moment. Even if it was an unconcious observation. Iris couldn't move, still unsure as the woman drew near, she didn't feel ready for this moment, after so many years, and after the circumstances under which they'd last spoken to each other. Iris thought back to the night she'd called Rose from St. Paul, wanting desperately to tell her about what was going on between her and Justin. She had hoped that perhaps in telling someone it would make it easier to leave Justin somehow, to put a stop to what they were doing. She had been terrified of losing her brother, of being alone. Rose had been the first person in her life she'd thought she could rely on if she should ever lose her brother.

It was that constant tension that had driven Iris half crazy over the years. Giving in to Justin's desires, tolerating his malignant nature, overlooking the awful thing she'd seen in St. Paul, all of it was to keep him close, to keep from losing him. And yet, she wanted to be free of him. But when it had come down to it, she couldn't bring herself to tell Rose, couldn't quite trust that she would forgive her and love her still. Though they had shared much, there was so much that they could never share. It was then that Iris had realized how utterly alone she was in the world. That she could never share her burden with anyone else. That no one would ever understand the awful things she would have to do.

The woman was half way across the yard now. Her dress was silk, and it clung to curvy figure as she walked in a sensual way that was almost obscene except that it wasn't. The dress was perfectly acceptable for day time wear, but the creature inside of it transformed it in some indescribable way, into something provactive. Her hat covered one side of her face in its shadow. Velvet and silk in a depression, Iris found herself smiling.

"Who is that?" Sofie asked in a whisper, looking at Iris. Justin turned and looked down at Iris as well, but Iris just kept looking ahead in a kind of trance. Justin and Sofie eyed each other.

"Excuse me." Iris said vacantly, and stepped forward, moving down the front steps of the porch. Justin and Sofie watched, puzzled as Iris stepped down onto the grass, lifting a hand to her forehead to sheild her eyes from the sun. The woman stopped in front of Iris and the two women stood facing each other for a few seconds. Iris said something and the other woman responded, but Justin and Sofie couldn't quite make out the words. Then the woman grabbed Iris suddenly in a hug. Iris reached her arms around the woman. The woman was a little shorter than Iris and when she hugged her, her head rested on Iris's shoulder so that her face was turned up toward the sun. The woman was smiling widely and her skin seemed to glow in the sun. Justin felt a spark of attraction like he'd been punched in the stomach.

"Wow." Sofie said, is if she could hear the thoughts in Jusitn's head. Justin turned and looked at Sofie. Sofie smiled at him, her face about to break into a laugh. "That woman is beautiful." she said, lifting her eyebrows.

"Yes, yes she is." Justin said smiling back at Sofie.

"Who is she?" Sofie asked again.

Justin was looking back toward the two women again. "I'm not sure Sofie, but I think we're about to find out." he said, nodding his head toward the women walking arm and arm toward them. Sofie watched as they approached. As they got closer Sofie could see that the woman was older, but she seemed somehow rather ageless. Her complexion still had the kind of radiance of a young girl. Or perhaps it was her size, or the roundness of her features that gave her face the silhouette of a child. There was something even in her expressions, they seemed almost childlike. Sofie wondered if this was something cultivated or something natural. Iris and this woman looked nothing alike, yet they seemed at the same time to fit each other, they seemed not like a couple, but more like a pair.

When they reached the porch Rose smiled unabashedly at the two stoic figures before her. Her face has an open friendly quality that Sofie liked immediately. Iris was smiling wide, but her face had a strange expression, one of almost surrender. Whoever this was Sofie could tell that Iris was overwhelmed by her presence. And Iris never looked overwhelmed.

"Justin, Sofie," Iris said, looking up at them and then back at Rose, and then back at them, "this is my dear friend Rose."

"Hi." Rose said, stepping forward a bit and reaching up to shake Sofie's hand first. As Sofie shook Rose's hand she caught herself looking down the front of her dress. Iris and Rose were still standing in the grass and as she leaned over the stairs from the porch to reach her it gave a perfect view. Sofie caught herself looking but Rose either didn't notice or didn't care. "So you take care of these two do you?" she asked casually. Sofie already liked this woman.

"As much as Iris will let me." Sofie said looking over at Iris. Iris smiled sheepishly. Sofie hadn't known that such a side to Iris existed. Rose turned to look at Iris and stroked her hair affectionately, Iris looked away coyly. They were like two kittens in a litter playing with each other. "Still keeping the world spining on its axis are we?" Rose said giggling.

"Well you know, once a maid," Iris said looking at Justin and Sofie before looking back at Rose, "and all you see is what needs to be cleaned or mended."

"Oh, I know." Rose said loosening her posture and reaching a hand to Iris's shoulder. "It used to drive my husband crazy that I never left a room without taking something with me that needed to be put away."

"Yes." Justin interrupted. "If you're not carefull Iris will clear your plate before you've had time to set your silverware down."

Rose laughed. "Like a machine this one. One of the most efficient creatures I've ever known." she said smling at Iris with a look of almost romantic adoration. Rose turned back to Justin and reached her hand out to him. Justin shook her hand. Sofie watched to see if Justin would spy down Rose's dress the way she had, but he merely jutted out his chin a bit and leaned down, with the kind of benevolent smile that he always used after church service. "It's lovely to finally meet you Justin. We all heard so much about you at the Dahlia house. It was an unsual thing, a common girl like the rest of us putting a person through college. It was the most outrageous thing we'd ever heard." Iris looked at Rose laughing quietly.

Justin released Rose's hand and stood back up, putting his hands behind his back and looking down at the two women.

Rose looked at Sofie, cocking an eyebrow, "You know back then the idea of a working class girl having ambitions like that was in and of itself and offense to the upper class. It was no small feat what Iris did. No one was prouder that she pulled it off than all of us at the Dahlia house." Sofie looked over at Iris, and her head was bowed humbly. Sofie felt herself softening to Iris yet again. She was fighting it, but she was beginning to understand what the cost of being Justin's sister had already been. Rose turned to Justin again, taking him in. She leaned into Iris to whisper something. "You raised yourself quite a man."

Iris nudged Rose playfully, "Oh, come on now. He wasn't that much younger." Iris said.

Rose looked up at Justin again. "You know, I've read about you in the papers, heard you on the radio. And now standing in front of you, it's hard to imagine you ever being a little boy. And yet, whenever Iris used to speak of you all those years ago, I always imagined a gangly little boy." Rose's expression became wistfull, as though she was really remembering back all those years and getting lost. "You'll have to forgive me," she suddenly snapped out of it, "this kind of directness is one of the benefits of old age." she laughed.

Justin smiled, "You don't look at day over forty my dear. I'd hardly call that old."

Rose laughed, "I'm fifty years old Justin Crowe. But you may continue to flirt with me if you wish."

"Rose." Iris said, pushing at her.

"What?" Rose said smiling.

"Touche, Miss, I'm sorry what was your last name?" Justin said leaning forward a bit. Sofie saw there was a trace of blush left in his cheeks and smiled.

"Darling." She said reigning her laughter in.

"Rose Darling." Justin repeated smiling.

"It sounds so lovely when you say it." Rose said, batting her eyelashes. Sofie wasn't sure she'd ever seen anyone with the gaul to openly flirt with Justin in the entire time she'd been in their house, and she found herself too amused by it. She wasn't sure if she was going to be able to hold in her laughter. Not at Rose, but at Justin. To the untrained eye he was the image of grace, but Sofie could see by the way he was shifting ever so slightly and the way he kept swalling as he stood before his sister and Rose, that he was thrown by it. Sofie looked at Iris, Iris looked at Sofie and in a split second she realized that Iris noticed too. They exchanged smiles and it was the first time she'd felt a comraderie with Iris in months. She tried to not like it, but she couldn't help that it felt good to be on Iris's side.

"Why don't we all go in?" Iris said, climbing the two front steps and reaching out a hand to Rose.

"I'll make some lemonade." Sofie said, stepping ahead of everyone and rushing inside. Justin caught the screen door before it could slam against the door jamb. He held it open ushering Iris through and rolling his eyes slightly at Sofie's exuberance. As Rose passed through Justin straightened his posture and leaned down toward her neck, almost intimateley and whispered, "She seems to like you." Rose felt a twinge of something go through her as he stood behind her, something almost filling the space between them, it was a sense of his desire. Not necessarily for her, but she could sense he was showing her that there was a strong desire within him. She sensed a wicked confidence. She turned to him and winked, giving a little smirk to let him know that she sensed it, and wasn't afraid of it.

Iris caught this little exchange from the corner of her eye. She was pleased to see that Rose had grown out of her naivity. It occured to Iris that after what Rose had been through with Dr. Dahlia and the baby and the other things she'd briefly alluded to in her letter, that she wasn't very easily intimidated by men anymore, that Justin would only have as much luck with Rose as Rose wanted him to. "So tell me Iris, you were never one for makeup and fancy dresses when I knew you." Rose didn't really finish her question as they moved down the hall. She didn't have to.

"Oh," Iris said looking down at herself as they moved into the living room, "you know, it was the funniest thing," she said as she sat down on the couch and signalled for Rose to come sit next to her, "but I woke up with the strangest feeling this morning and I had the impulse to, I don't know, it's silly, but look now you're here." she said. There was a tenderness to her expressions as she said this, smiling on the verge of tears. Jusitn hadn't really seen her look or sound this way before. Justin took a seat across from the women. Rose was looking around the room, taking in the house that his ministry had built.

"I think I understand." Rose said as she looked back down at Iris. "We always had a way with each other like that. I always felt you inside of me somewhere." Rose moved closer to Iris, running a hand over her hair. Justin couldn't decide if her actions were more like a mother inspecting a child who'd just returned from summer camp, or an awe struck lover. "It was the strangest thing, but I was thinking about you a lot over the past year, and I remember one afternoon I was really thinking about you, and something told me to look at the paper, and there was you and your brother."

Sofie came into the room carrying a tray of lemonade. She set it down on the coffee table and went about handing everyone a glass. As she handed Rose her glass, Rose stopped her. "You are a beautiful young girl, you know that?" Rose said. Sofie blushed and pulled back, tucking her hair behind her ears and looking at the ground. "Really, don't waste away too much of your time here my dear. Promise me you'll try and see a little bit of the world while you're still a free thing." Sofie still just stood there awkwardly. She looked up coyly, and everyone was staring at her.

"I don't know about all of that." Sofie finally said.

"Nonsense." Rose said, sipping some her lemonade. "You're a beautiful girl, and Iris wouldn't let you be responsible for a thing if she didn't think you were sharp. Believe you me."

Sofie looked at Iris. Iris nodded at her, "It's true."

"And for heaven's sake marry up." Rose finished laughing as she sipped her lemonade.

"Amen." Iris said as she lifted her glass to her mouth in a kind of toast.

"Iris, I don't think I've ever heard you say such a thing." Justin said smiling at the two women huddling closer and closer together on the couch.

"Really?" Rose said looking from brother to sister. "Iris here was the shrewdist of the bunch when we were young."

Sofie was smiling, relieved to have the attention off of her, but also wanting to hear more about Iris as a young woman. Rose glanced at Sofie. "You could learn a thing or two from this one." Rose offered.

"I don't think Sofie wants to learn how to be a fifty year old spinster Rose." Iris smiled.

"Oh don't be coy Iris." Rose interjected. "You've got it made and you know it. Here you are in a lovely home, free to do whatever you want, and you don't have to spend your days constantly doing all the things that get undone."

"You know Rose, that's very abnormal." Iris said looking around the room. "Most women want to get married and have children and a family. My life, it's not for everyone." Iris took a sip of her lemonade and dropped her gaze to the couch.

"You are definitley a rarity Iris, but you're not abnormal." Rose said very matter of factly. The room was silent for a spell. There was a tension about everything now.

"I'm going to go get started on lunch." Sofie said and made a quick exit.

"Well Rose, you can still bring a room to standstill can't you?" Iris said, hardly stifling a laugh. "You know part of what I've always loved about you was your ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time."

Justin shifted in his chair.

"Don't worry Justin." Rose said smiling. "Me and your sister talk this way to each other all the time. I'm not offended."

Justin was a little taken aback by Rose's frankness. He felt a twinge of envy, that perhaps this woman knew a slew of things about his sister that he did not. He wondered which Iris is was that Rose knew, which one he knew, and more importantly which one was the real one. "All the time, I thought you two hadn't seen each other in years." Justin said.

"You're right." Rose said crinkling her features and moving closer to Iris on the couch. "Isn't that the darndest thing. It feels like no time has passed at all." Iris looked at her smiling. Rose turned more to Iris, looking at her directly as if Justin was no longer in the room. "I've missed you intensely." she said.

Iris's eyes misted a bit, "Me too, so much." she said. She wanted to say more and Rose could sense it. She looked at Justin sharply, then back at Iris.

"I'll leave you two alone to catch up." Justin said as he stood up. He exited the room though he really didn't want to. He wanted to know everythign there was to know about Iris. He wanted to somehow reach into Rose's head and steal all of her memories. As he stood in the hallway just outside the living room eavesdropping he wondered if he posessed that power. If there was a way he could somehow see everything Rose had seen, know everything that she knew the way he'd been able to with Scudder. The memory of Scudder sent a shooting pain to Justin's chest. Phantom pains to a wound that wouldn't seem to fully heal.

He thought of all that he had yet to do. The ministry, the migrants. A fate so big that it frightened him at times. Justin ached for Iris to be near the way she was when they were children again. The more he thought about the destiny before him the more he needed an anchor to protect him from oblivion. He peeked around the corner into the living room at the two women on the couch, huddled together. He looked across the hall the other way into the kitchen were Sofie was milling about. Either image was suddenly too much to bear for him in light of the fate coming to everyone. Both equally irrelevent and ridiculous when he considered the war taking place all around him. The war that no one could see. The war that had left him with his injury. That had given him a taste of his mortality.

Justin moved down the hall to his study. Once inside he locked the door and made his way to the vent in the wall near the floor. He knelt down next to it, and listen. Iris and Rose's voices funneled clearly into his ear. Something he'd discovered when the house was first built, and the reason he'd insisted on making that room his office. It served the more paranoid part of his personality, to know that he could leave visitors in the living room and with a little subterfuge he could learn their true motives. Of course his intention had been to only take advantage of this little accident of engineering on people like Val Templeton or Tommy Dolan, but Justin was far beyond pretending to himself that he wasn't desperate. As Justin sat on the floor listening he kept his eyes on the door, imagining how ridiculous he would look should someone somehow manage to barge in on him.

Justin's pride and vantiy won out and he got up and searched the spines of the books on his shelf for something interesting to read. He pulled out his copy of Anna Kerinina and walked back to his desk. He sat down and opened the cover. There was a note in the front cover in pencil, in Iris's hand. It read:_ the premise is just ridiculous, really._ Justin laughed to himself. He started to read but felt restless, so he moved his chair over to the window where he could see outside. He sat in his chair, and tried again. He made it through the first page before he could make out the sounds of Iris and Rose talking. Justin looked about the room as if someone might be able to see him, and inched his chair closer to the vent. He returned his attention to the book, but the voices coming from the vent became crystal clear to him, as though he had tuned into a station on the radio. He gave up and simply stared at the open book in front of him while listening to the conversation unfolding in the next room. Soon the sunlight and the words on the page were too much a distraction for his brain and he slammed the book shut. He pushed the chair out of the way and laid down on the wood floor next to the vent and closed his eyes to shut out any other distractions, focusing on the soft susserant sounds of the women's voices. Justin thought back to the period of time in high school when he spent his lunches in the janitor's closet next to the girls restroom, listening to the trilling, gushing sounds of young girls confessing anything and everything to each other.

Justin realized that he'd always been a spy to the mysteries of women. Perhaps that was why he always wondered about Iris, why he always felt he was in danger of losing her. He had learned from an early age that women were full of secret desires that men knew nothing about. That they could hide almost anything from men, and that they were almost never quite what they seemed. He hated them at times for this, for making fools of men. Justin always wondered at what Iris was really like, always wanted to really know her, and always sensed that he didn't, that she was always stubbornly keeping some part of her to herself.


	27. Chapter 27

Justin tried to picture the women as he listened to their voices, but as they spoke he found different images from the past, from times that never were flickering in his otherwise dark mind. Their words moved across the dark in bright white.

"Start at the beginning then Rose." Iris said.

"A detective showed up at my door." Rose said her voice hinting at disbelief. Jack's face flashed in Justin's mind, and Justin recalled the way he'd looked sitting on the porch rocker next to Iris as he'd spied them through the living room window. He'd thought the man was no match for his sister that day. Justin winced in his mind. There was a silence.

"It's alright Iris, I know that Jack spoke to you, and that you didn't tell him anything." Rose said. There was a silence again. Justin wanted to see them, he wanted to see what Iris was doing with her eyes, so he could now what was really being said between the two of them. "It wasn't your secret to keep though, you weren't obligated."

"I could never hurt you Rose. I'd do anything to protect you. I only wasn't sure if you wanted to be protected from him or not." Iris said.

"Protect me from Jack or from my son?" Rose said laughing. Justin thought of Rose's shape, the way her breasts looked when she laughed, the way she sunk in her chest slightly with each laugh.

"I don't know either one I guess." There was another long pause. "So what was he like? What's his name?" Iris's voice was high and eager.

"His name is Caleb. Oh Iris, he's beautiful. It was amazing. He's a doctor, he's, I don't know. He lives in San Francisco. Jack and I went up there two days ago. I was driving back to Los Angeles today and I saw the exit for Mintern, and I just, well I just knew that if I didn't come now I'd never have the courage too."

"Well I'm glad you did Rose. It's so good to see you. It's really healed my heart today." Iris said in the soothing tone that Justin recalled from the first few days when he'd returned from the mental hospital. He could still feel the smooth play of her fingertips trailing down his neck as she'd tried to comfort him once, when he'd tried to talk to her about it. Justin's stomach lurched a bit, he didn't realize this memory was so potent for him.

"Does your heart need much healing these days Iris?" Rose asked very pointedly. Justin moved as close as he could to the vent, trying to hear something more than her words. There was a long silence. "You don't have to say it Iris, I knew it the minute I saw you. I've always been able to read you. You know that."

"Oh yes." Iris said, and from the strange modulation in her voice Justin could tell she was crying, or trying not to. She laughed. "You were the only one who ever suspected a thing."

"Well, then, they weren't paying attention. It was clear as day something was going on with you." Rose sounded indignant. "God Iris, you're the only person that makes me feel this way. Remember that day I got mad at you for working to put your brother through school."

"Yes." Iris's voice sounded smaller.

"I was so angry that you were throwing your life away, like it was my life. I'd never felt anything like that. I remember when that happened, and I could tell that you, you know you had a lover or something, and I was so, I don't know." Rose said, her tone was getting erratic and she was really searching for her words, she sounded more and more like a teenager.

"Rose, let's not talk about that here." Iris said. Justin felt a cool hive move over him, as though he'd been caught doing something awful.

"Why not? We're old women now, surely it doesn't matter to anyone here." Rose was pushing at Iris.

"Rose, it's just inappropriate." Iris's was getting snippy.

"At least just, tell me who it was." Rose insisted. Justin's stomach turned in a knot.

"Just some guy." Iris said her voice was flat.

"That's it?" There was playful edge to Rose's voice. "What happened?"

"Whatever happens with those things I suppose." Iris sighed.

"He stepped out on you?" Rose asked.

Iris laughed. "Oh goodness no."

"Well then?" Rose wouldn't let up. "Weren't you in love?"

"It wasn't that simple Rose."

"Was it because of your brother?"

"In a way." There was a long silence. Justin reached out and touched the grate over the vent as if he was stroking Iris's hair, feeling a sudden deep longing for her.

"That boy cost you everything." Rose said with an edge of anger.

"He's hardly a boy Rose."

"Is he why you never married? You never married did you?"

"No. I never wanted to."

"So was there anyone else after the mystery man?"

"Rose, really."

"What Iris? Your brother must know you've had boyfriends. I mean you can't live with someone that long and not know."

"It's not that. Well it is that, but I'd rather not dwell on the past."

"Are you at least going to tell me about Jack."

"Definitely not." Iris was trying to whisper. Justin froze, as if stilling all movement on his part would make Iris speak louder.

Rose laughed. "Jack told me that Justin didn't approve."

"Oh he did? What else did he tell you?"

"Nothing really, he was a perfect gentleman, but halfway to San Francisco he confessed to me that he in fact knew you. I'd been talking about you nonstop and he felt guilty that he hadn't let on that he had already spoken to you about me. Of course I asked him how you were and he said he'd offended your brother straight away. Of course I told him that although I'd never met Justin, I'd never liked him either."

"Rose."

"What Iris? Don't interrupt me."

"Fine, go on."

"I figured out he was smitten. He didn't have to say anything. He talked about you the way I used to."

"What do you mean Rose?"

"He was upset that you were so devoted to your brother, that you hadn't lived more. Angry like it was his life he was talking about. Not yours. I used to be that way all the time about you. I wanted your heart all to myself."

"I don't understand Rose."

"Oh come on Iris, wasn't it obvious?"

"What?"

"That I was in love with you." Rose's voice was becoming stronger again. "God Iris, I would have followed you anywhere, anything you asked I would have done it. You'll never know how devastated I was when you left to Stul. That day when you called I wanted you to come home so badly. I thought we could live together and raise the baby together. It was ridiculous, but that was how in love I was. You didn't know that?"

"Of course I did Rose."

"Then why did you leave?"

"Because." Iris gasped and Justin knew she was crying. He wanted to charge into the room and order Rose out immediately, wanted to hold her and somehow make it right. "I couldn't take you where I was going."

"What does that mean?" Rose said, her voice rough and angry. "I never understand what you mean when you start to talk that way."

"I'm sorry. It was the best thing for everyone, is what I mean."

"The best thing for Justin."

"Rose, stop it."

"It's the truth isn't it?"

Iris was laughing. "Rose really."

"Don't laugh at me. What is it with you two. It's not normal. People grow up they start their own lives. A fifty year old woman and her preacher brother, I mean really. With your own maid and matching towels?"

"So now you're going to insult me?"

"Well Jesus Christ Iris."

"Rose, it was twenty years ago." There was another long silence and then muted laughter. Then whispers Justin couldn't quite make out. He decided it was time to interrupt. He opened his door quietly and stepped into the hall. He saw Sofie leaning against the wall peering into the living room, eavesdropping. She snapped her head up suddenly and looked genuinely frightened.

"Justin." she said loudly. "I was just going to tell everyone that lunch was ready."

"Wonderful, I'm starving." Justin said, not quite smiling.

"Thank you Sofie dear." Rose called out from the living room. Sofie quickly turned and headed back into the kitchen. Justin walked a little further down the hall and peered into the living room himself. The two women were standing up and facing each other in a half embrace, as if they might kiss.

"I love you." Rose said, patting her hand along the collar of Iris's dress.

"I love you too." Iris said smiling and wiping at her eyes quickly. A pang went through Justin's heart realizing he'd never heard his sister convey such as sentiment so plainly and sincerely before.

"Is Sofie a good cook?" Rose asked half laughing and pulling away from Iris. Justin made his entrance.

"Are you two catching up then?" he said smiling at the two women. They looked at him aggressively, he'd timed his entrance a little too early.

"Hardly." Rose finally said. "Perhaps after lunch we'll go for a drive and visit some of the old haunts."

Iris eyed Justin, to let him know that she knew he didn't want her to go, but that she was going to go anyway. "That sounds lovely."

"Oh, maybe we could even visit the boys. Jack told me were Abel was. Did you hear he lost an eye?" Rose was smiling and her movements and expressions resembled that of a small child to Justin. He smiled at the strange contradiction of Rose's bearing.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea Rose." Iris said eying Justin again, to let him know that she didn't plan on testing her tether that much.

"Don't you want to see it though? I bet it's absolutely horrid, and I want to tease him about it." Rose said.

"That's very macabre." Justin interjected.

"I've never understood the relationship that the two of you had." Iris said as they started to walk to the kitchen.

"It was always a playful competition between us." Rose said matte-of-factly as they walked through the hall.

They all took their seats at the table and Sofie went around the table setting out the plates and napkins as the conversation continued.

"Competition over what?" Iris asked.

"Over you of course." Rose said without flinching. Sofie dropped the last plate she was holding, and everyone looked at her.

"It's okay." she said as she stood up examining the plate in her hands. "It's not broken. I'll go get another one."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I understand." Justin said, a little shocked at Rose's frank admission of such a thing.

"It's probably best you don't, given your line of work and everything." Rose said smiling at Justin.

"There you go saying the wrong thing again Rose." Iris said smoothing out the napkin her laugh, completely resigned to the discussion. The room was silent and Sofie returned carrying a new plate, and a tray of sandwiches. Sofie took her place at the table and waited.

"Should I say grace?" Rose offered.

"No." Iris said quickly. "I mean, that's uh, Justin usually does that." She looked down the table to Justin.

Justin reached across the table with both arms taking Sofie and Rose's hands. Iris did the same and they all bowed there heads. Justin ran his thumb across the top of Rose's hand slowly, opening his eyes and staring at her. She looked up at him smugly, waiting for him to start. Justin looked down the table at Iris, her head bowed and her eyes faithfully closed. He looked over at Sofie, her eyes shut tightly, waiting. He looked back at Rose. She licked her lips briefly and then bowed her head again. Justin dropped his eyes and started.


	28. Chapter 28

Iris sat in the passenger seat of Rose's car watching the landscape loping along the shoulders of the road. She rarely got to see the world around her when she was driving, her attention was too divided between shifting gears and the destination and other cars, and usually Justin sitting next to her. Rose turned to Iris and smiled. A warm feeling curled inside of her. "I'm sorry about what I said about you and Justin." Rose said, as she looked back toward the road.

"It's alright." Iris said looking out the passenger window. "You've always had a hard time reigning in your feelings. I know you don't mean it." Iris started laughing, she turned to look at Rose. "That was quite a show you put on for my brother though."

Rose smiled, glancing at Iris quickly before returning her eyes to the road. "Oh he can take it." she said with a certain kind of roughness that Iris recognized as true Rose. Not the little girl that she played at being to everyone else. This was the woman that had had baby and given it up, and moved to Los Angeles by herself, completely destitute and somehow managed to make a way for herself. The enormity of those achievements wasn't lost on Iris. It was kind of tragic to her that because of the nature of the obstacles Rose had overcome, not many would be privy to the amount of courage and strength of will Rose possessed.

"It's amazing what you've become Rose." Iris said suddenly getting serious.

"I was just following your example Iris." Rose said nonchalantly.

"Well, if you say so." Iris said without a trace of sarcasm. "Where are we going?" Iris asked, realizing that they were passing straight through Mintern.

"North." Rose said, smiling.

"What's North?" Iris asked.

"So tell me about Jack." Rose said ignoring Iris's question.

"Where are we going?" Iris asked again.

"Don't worry about it." Rose said laughing.

"Rose, I really can't be away that long. I have responsibilities, things that need to be attended to." Iris said getting more insistent and straightening up in her seat.

Rose looked over at Iris recognizing the real distress written on her features. "Fine." she sighed and pulled the car over.

Iris looked around at the empty fields on either side of them. "I didn't mean we had to stop right here." Iris said.

"It really doesn't matter to me where we go. I just wanted to talk to you. This place is as good as any." Rose looked around. "Let's get out and go for a walk."

"Okay." Iris said shrugging her shoulders and getting out of the car. The two women tromped into the field running along the shoulder of the road. The tall grass was yellowed and over grown, and they quickly found themselves waist deep in it.

"How 'bout here?" Rose asked stopping suddenly. Iris turned and smiled at Rose, remembering the game they used to play when they wandered off from the Dahlia house during the lunch hour.

"You go first." Iris said, watching as Rose stood up straight and closed her eyes, letting herself fall back into the tall grass. Iris laughed and walked over to where Rose was now laying in the grass like a bird tucked into a nest. She turned around and let herself fall onto the cushion of the thick grass. They both turned their heads to face each other.

"Now, tell me about Jack." Rose said smiling.

Iris looked into her eyes, suddenly realizing that she didn't have to hide anything from this woman. Iris bit her lip, and looked at Rose one more time, debating whether or not to tell Rose the truth. "I'm so in love." she finally let out, and suddenly Iris felt a weight lifting off of her.

Rose rolled over so she was laying on her side facing Iris, resting her head on her hand. "I knew it." she said with an exaggerated tone of victory. "Tell me about it." Rose urged widening her eyes to Iris.

"Oh, who cares about that stuff. It's been twenty years why don't you tell me what you've been up to, why don't you tell me about Caleb." Iris said rolling onto her side to match Rose's posture.

"I care." Rose said looking straight at Iris. "Who cares about the time that's past. I want to know about you right now. How long have you two been seeing each other. You are seeing each other right?"

"A few months." Iris said, picking at the grass before her. Iris looked back up at Rose, she was waiting eagerly. "What do you want to know?" Iris asked.

"Anything. Tell me about him." Rose said leaning in towards Iris.

"You've met him already." Iris said.

"I met Detective Tiernan. I want to know about Jack." Rose said.

Iris laid down flat so she was resting completely on the grass, "Jack is, an amazing kisser, and, the best person I know I think."

Rose smiled down at Iris. "So why aren't you in San Francisco with him?"

Iris laughed. "Rose you are so impulsive. Those of us that live down here in the real world have to keep our wits about us."

"Iris haven't you ever once wondered what it would be like to just, have a feeling and give in to it?" Rose asked.

"It's not that simple." Iris said smiling up at Rose. "And before you start in about Justin, it's an issue of respect. I live with my brother, we share a life together and he has certain ideas about what is appropriate. He doesn't mind me having a suitor, but obviously he doesn't think I should have a lover, that I'm not married to anyway. And given what he's become now, I have to consider how shacking up with someone would look." Iris said, surprised at how easy it was to tell a convincing lie.

"Well then why don't you get married?" Rose said lowering her face down to Iris's playfully.

"Oh Jack said I wouldn't marry him did he?" Iris laughed.

"Well, we didn't get that far into it." Rose said sitting up.

Iris sat up as well pulling some grass from Rose's hat. "Neither have we." Iris said.

"Oh. Well you know how I am, completely devoted as soon as I'm devoted." Rose said turning to Iris.

"Speaking of which, if you're not careful with my brother, he'll be in love with you by the end of dinner." Iris said nudging Rose.

"You know it's too bad you're his sister, or else you'd understand how good looking that man is." Rose said.

"I have eyes. He's my brother. I knew he was handsome before anyone else." Iris leaned back on her hands hoping that she was convincing as a proud sibling. "But if you break his heart I'll never forgive you."

"He's a big boy." Rose said looking back at Iris over her shoulder. "Bigger than you realize I think. Did you see the way he looked at me in the hallway?"

"Rose, I really don't want to think about my brother romantically." Iris said, meaning that statement in a way Rose could never comprehend.

"Is he seeing anyone?" Rose asked .

"Dear lord, you're not interested are you?' Iris said, feeling absolute horror, knowing that if anyone could seduce her brother it would be Rose. If nothing else because of Iris.

"I'm just curious." Rose said. "I don't know much about preachers."

"Not that I know of, but I think his cassock intimidates women, it doesn't really say romance. " Iris said, actually wondering if women did approach her brother that way.

"Are you kidding, that just makes him even sexier." Rose said turning around. Iris wasn't sure if Rose was serious or just trying to tease her.

"Rose, really." Iris said .

"What? Is someone listening in. It's just the two of us." Rose said turning around crawling on her hands and knees to where Iris was sitting slightly behind her.

"God." Iris said. Rose came closer and starting to crawl into Iris's lap, pushing her down in the grass.

"God can hear my thoughts before I even speak them Iris." She said hovering over Iris flirtatiously. "In which case, trust me, I'm already in big trouble." Both women started laughing and Rose collapsed on top of Iris. Iris wrapped her arms around Rose and they laid like that for awhile, until they stopped laughing and then they just held each other for a long time. Each one getting lost in memories of a lifetime ago.

"Will you stay for dinner?" Iris asked .

Rose lifted her head up and moved off of Iris. "I'll stay as long as you want." She said smiling.

"I keep forgetting we're not little domestics anymore. It's so strange to not have to ask anyone for permission to do whatever we please." Iris said rolling on her side to face Rose.

"I never thought I'd be where I am now." Rose said. "I still can't believe if most days. I still feel guilty when someone knocks on my door and I'm reading a book or listening to the radio instead of dusting."

"Oh God, I can't keep to a task if Sofie comes in the room. I feel so bad watching her clean up my messes. Justin insisted I hire some help, but I can't get used to it." Iris said.

"What's really going on Iris?" Rose asked. "I mean, why aren't you happy?"

Iris looked at Rose. "Why don't you tell me more about what Jack said about me?" Iris said smiling and settling down into the grass. "And don't leave anything out."

Rose shifted excitedly, smiling , eyes twinkling. "Well...I asked him how you looked, and he thought about it for a long time and then he said, 'she's very pleasant to look at'. And he said in this way, sort of looking up at the sky like he was solving a math problem."

"He's such an odd man." Iris said.

"I think it's one of the kindest things someone could say about someone's looks if you think about it. Most other things are judgments or intentions. You know good, or sexy, or old. But when he looks at you he's pleased. Its a beautiful sentiment Iris." Rose said. "I think I fell in love with him at that moment. Did I mention that Jack is my new favorite person?"

"I thought it was Justin." Iris said smiling.

"Oh no, I still despise him, I just want to kiss him once or twice. That's probably why I do." Rose said laughing.

"Rose, why do you tell me these things? And really, you shouldn't hate Justin. He didn't ruin my life. You need to get over that." Iris said half serious, half joking.

"Come on Iris, I want to kiss half the world. He's your little brother, it's naughty. And teasing you about it is turning out to be outrageous fun, so I think I'll just keep on with it." Rose said with a kind of mock aplomb.

"I'm sure he would love to indulge you in a kiss Rose. I mean, I wouldn't recommend using terms like boy and little to describe him but, he's not a Catholic. He can date." Iris said.

"I don't think I'm his type, I'm a little long in the tooth for all that." Rose said.

"Rose, you are everyone's type. " Iris said laughing and eying Rose's ample chest. Rose looked down at her own chest and then back up at Iris. "Not all men care about that Iris. As a matter of fact that was the other thing Jack said."

"Jack talked about my breasts?" Iris said sitting up. "What a cad!" she added lifted her eyebrows and letting her mouth fall open in genuine shock and horror.

"Not quite. We were drinking together and joking around you know." Rose said .

"You always could drink like a fish. I guess some things never change." Iris said with a tinge of disappointment in her voice.

"Hey I've always been an earthy gal. Don't start judging me now." Rose teased.

"Far be it from me Rose. Now please tell me exactly what Mr.Tiernan said about my breasts." Iris was no longer amused.

"Oh Iris. It wasn't like that. I was talking about how beautiful I always thought you were and how I was always jealous of your figure because you were so thin and you have these great long legs you always hide and , in his defense he was already pretty tight, and 'he said and breasts like two little martini glasses, perfect.' I was drinking a martini and I lifted it up and I looked at it and I said 'After all these years?' and he said 'Like a pixie.' It was very cute." Rose looked over at Iris. Iris was bright red.

"I would be flattered if I wasn't absolutely horrified Rose." Iris finally said.

"I imagine he'd be horrified if he knew I'd told you that. It was just one of those things that happens when you drink together with someone. It was just mouthing off. You know how it is Iris." Rose said trying to reassure Iris.

"No, I don't." Iris said still upset.

"He likes the way you look, and he thinks your body is perfect Iris, get over it." Rose said with a huff. "He's a man in love."

"Do you think?" Iris said bringing her hand to her mouth like a nervous schoolgirl.

"Yes. Without a doubt." Rose said soberly. "You two haven't talked about it?"

"No. I won't let him." Iris said.

"Why not?" Rose asked, moving close to Iris.

"I guess part of me doesn't want to know. I'm not ready for everything to get complicated, you know?" Iris said looking over at Rose.

"Yeah, I know." Rose said hugging Iris close to her.

"Should we head back for dinner?" Rose asked after a pause.

"Sure." Iris said standing up and looking around them at the vast emptiness and rolling hills. "It's so beautiful out here. I never really look at it." She said. Rose stood up and looked around too.

"Yes. It is beautiful." The two women started walking back to the car. "Not as beautiful as San Francisco though." Rose added.


	29. Chapter 29

Sofie served a ham for dinner. Justin and Iris sat on opposite ends of the table, flanked by Sofie and Rose, each lifted their heads and opened their eyes at the same time as Justin finished saying grace with a brief "Amen." Justin started the table service and their was a clanking and muffled requests as they passed dishes back and forth across the long table.

"Should I get the wine?" Sofie asked Iris, eying Rose. "I mean since we have company."

"No, I don't." Iris started.

"That sounds wonderful." Rose cut her off. She smiled at Sofie.

"Alright Rose, but I won't have you running around in your underthings, with that long hair flying around, and teaching Sofie how to spit tobacco like your 'pappy' taught you." Iris said, casting her eyes across the table.

"Iris, I am not the girl I used to be, I'm a dignified lady now." Rose smiled. "I have much shorter hair now. You just can't tell because it's pinned at the moment."

Justin laughed looking at her. "You are very charming Rose." he said.

"Have I charmed you Justin?" Rose asked smiling as Sofie left the table to retrieve the wine.

"Yes. Very much so Rose." he said, looking down the table at Iris. She shot him a stern look in return.

"That's not a sin or anything is it?" Rose asked playfully. Sofie returned from the kitchen with a bottle of wine and three wine glasses. She sett one down in front of Rose, Iris, and Justin each.

"Justin doesn't drink Sofie." Iris said.

"It's alright Sofie." Justin cut in. "Since it's a special occasion, I think I'll make an exception." Justin said, "Drinking isn't exclusively forbidden, it's being a drunkard." Sofie stood by confused for a moment before looking at Justin tentatively. He nodded at her, and she returned to her chair. Justin began to pour wine into his glass.

"Iris told me today that you are allowed to date. I didn't know that was so." Rose said.

"Rose." Iris said rolling her eyes and letting out a sigh.

"It's alright Iris." Justin smiled. Justin turned to face Rose. "Yes." Justin stood up taking the bottle of wine and approaching Rose.

"So where exactly does a man such as your self, a man of the cloth, take a woman on a date?" Rose asked as Justin leaned over her pouring wine into her glass. She looked up at him and they locked eyes, and he let his eyes drop down to her breasts, and then back to her face and he smiled. She smirked slightly.

"That depends, where would you like me to take you?" Justin asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"Are you asking me?" Rose said bringing her hand to her chest.

"Yes." Justin said.

"Well, I don't know what there is to do in Mintern." Rose said, batting her eyelashes.

"I suppose I could show you, say tomorrow. We could make an afternoon of it." Justin said, smiling down at her.

"That sounds wonderful." Rose said, taking a sip of her wine.

Iris let out a sigh and Justin and Rose looked over at her. She was staring down at the table pursing her lips. Justin walked over to her with the wine.

"Iris you look positively livid." Rose said, laughing.

Justin placed a hand on Iris's shoulder and kissed the top of her head before pouring wine into her glass. "Relax Iris, it's just a friendly date." He said before standing back up. Justin walked swiftly back to his chair. Iris swirled the wine in her glass briefly before bringing it to her mouth and tilting it back, drinking the entire serving down in one gulp and setting the glass down loudly on the table.

"I hope you two have a wonderful time." Iris said. "Now, let's talk about something else."

Sofie giggled into her napkin. Iris shot her a look and she stopped immediately. Sofie looked around the table.

"I ran into John several years ago in Los Angeles." Rose said to Iris.

"Who was that?" Sofie asked.

"John was a boy that used to work at the Dahlia house with me and Iris. He was the handsomest thing you've ever seen. Just beautiful really. A real work of art." Rose gushed.

"And how was John?" Iris asked. "He was always dear to me. He was much more sensitive than most boys. I think he was my closest confident before you were hired on."

"I know." Rose said, smirking. "I heard."

A chill went through Iris. She could tell that Rose had something on her. And that she was going to unleash it. Her one pet peeve about Rose was that she too thoroughly enjoyed seeing Iris uncomfortable.

"What did you hear?" Iris said, grabbing the bottle of wine Justin had left next to her on the table. She poured herself another glass.

"He told me that when you two used to get bored around the house you two would sit around and think of different ways to kiss and then practice them." Rose said giggling as she did so.

"That is not the way it happened." Iris said before drinking down her second glass of wine. "I thought I was doing the Lord's work." She said as she set her glass back down.

"Now this I have to hear." Justin said beginning to cut into his food.

"Well me and John were alone at the house together often, and we became close. One day he told me that he wasn't normal. That he didn't have feelings for girl's like other boys. He asked me if he could kiss me, to you know see if he could feel something. Then we started trying other ways to see if there was some way that would make him feel something." Iris looked around the table.

"He was slick that one." Justin said.

"Did it work?" Sofie asked. Everyone at the table looked at her.

"Apparently not, because when I ran into him he was very openly, well you know. I mean that's more commonplace in Hollywood. You don't talk about it, but everyone knows who's who." Rose said.

"Well, I tried." Iris said laughing and turning her attention to her plate.

"Yeah he said you two quit when he tried to talk you into going all the way in the back of the Dahlia's car." Rose said laughing. "He said that you told him you couldn't do that unless you were married. He told me that he always thought if he had to marry a woman he would hunt you down."

"Well I suppose thats a compliment." Iris said, looking up toward Justin. Justin smiled back at her and looked around the table at Sofie and Rose. Rose was leaning back in her chair and taking Iris in, and Sofie was watching Rose keenly.

"He says to this day whenever it rains he thinks of you. I'm not sure what that means." Rose said taking a sip of her wine.

"We had this thing about kissing in the rain. We waited around six months for rain so we could kiss that way. It was the last way we tried to kiss, before he tried to talk me into, well, you know." Iris said pouring herself another glass of wine.

"Careful Iris, you'll be drunk before desert." Justin said eying her as she toyed with the stem of her wine glass.

"I used to always wonder about that boy. He was so gorgeous and I would flirt and flirt with him and he would just stare at you doing the dishes or something and smile. Now it all makes sense." Rose said smiling.

"How was he? Was he happy?" Iris asked.

"Well a lot of wild partying had only preserved his good looks. It was unfair." Rose laughed.

"That was my Johnny Lee." Iris said wistfully. "I adored him. He was my first girlfriend."

Iris and Rose both laughed at each other, before remembering themselves, and straightening up. "Sorry Justin. I'm sure this is completely inappropriate." Rose said looking around the table.

"Not at all." Justin said, feeling a bit benevolent. "There's no scandal in being young. Besides I haven't seen my sister laugh in awhile."

Iris rolled her eyes at Justin, and brought her wine glass to her mouth, smiling at Rose.

After dinner Sofie showed Rose to her room downstairs and Justin and Iris retired to the upstairs. Iris was drunk and as she sat on the edge of her bed her head was spinning. Justin came into the room.

"Are you alright." he asked gently.

Iris opened her eyes and looked up at him. "I'm drunk." she said as if she was stating her name to a stranger.

"That's alright." Justin said stroking her hair and resting his hand on her cheek. He leaned down into her. "Why don't you lay down?" he whispered into her ear.

Iris obliged letting herself fall to the side. Justin lifted her legs onto the bed and took off each of her shoes delicately.

"Justin." she said, keeping her eyes shut.

"Yes." Justin said kneeling down on the floor next to her head.

"Please don't take Rose away from me. She's all I have." Iris said.

Justin stood up without responding.

"Justin." Iris called out again.

When Justin looked down at her again her eyes were open. She was staring up at him blankly.

"Yes." he said, exhaling loudly.

"Kiss me." she whispered.

Justin leaned down and kissed her gently on the forehead, and began to rise again. Iris grabbed his shirt. "Not like that." She whispered, looking into his eyes. "A real kiss."

Justin leaned down and kissed her hard, weighing down on her, letting his tongue move into her mouth. She moaned slightly an matched his effort pulling him down on top of her. Justin got lost for a moment, himself a little light headed from the wine. He wasn't' sure how long they'd been kissing when he finally broke away from her. The first time he'd stopped a kiss between them since he could remember. There was a light knock on the door. Justin got up and answered the door. Rose was standing before him, her hair was down and fell into a blunt bob at her chin. She was in a pair of men's pajama's. She looked odd, but Justin decided, adorable. "My sister's very drunk Rose." Justin said.

"It's alright, I've seen her through it a dozen times." Rose said pushing past Justin.

"Is that Rose?" Iris called out.

"Yes dear." Rose said smiling at Justin and winking.

"Rose, I'm drunk." she said as if it was some kind of secret.

Rose looked back at Justin smiling. Justin lifted his hands as if to surrender control of the situation to Rose. "Good night Rose."

"Good night, Justin." Rose said, catching his gaze for a minute, before turning her attention to Iris.

Justin shut the door and Rose sauntered over to the bed, crawling in next to Iris.

"Rose, what the hell were you thinking accepting a date with my brother." Iris whispered.

"I was thinking that I would get to spend the day with him, and that during that whole day you would be alone with a telephone, and a car, and a road that leads to San Francisco, this place where a certain Detective lives, where no one knows you, and you can do whatever you want." Rose whispered back. "I might enjoy myself, but I was thinking of you when I accepted Iris."

"Be careful Rose." Iris said.

"Its just one date." Rose said. "I promise I won't make him fall in love too hard. It's just a little carrot and stick that's all."

"What about bait and switch?" Iris asked.

"I don't understand." Rose said cuddling into Iris.

"What if my brother makes you fall in love with him. He's the kind of guy that would make you feel like a queen Rose. And you know how you fall for that." Iris whispered. "Then we'd have a real mess on our hands."

"Just promise me you'll only go on this one date okay. This isn't a long term solution to my Jack problem. You can't date my brother for the rest of my life, that would be ridiculous." Iris said closing her eyes and beginning to drift off to sleep.

"I promise." Rose whispered into Iris's hair, kissing her on the temple. She looked around the room and back down at Iris. She crept out of the bed and folding the covers over Iris and turned out the bedside lamp and slipped into the hallway and back downstairs to the guest room.


	30. Chapter 30

Iris woke up to a throbbing headache and the sound of clanking dishes downstairs. Iris stood up and almost fell back down. She managed to gain her bearings and realized she was still wearing her clothes from the previous evening. Iris sat back down on the bed and went to take her stalkings off, but felt suddenly dizzy and collapsed back on the bed. She pulled the covers back over herself and quickly drifted back to sleep.

Iris awoke again to the feeling of something like a feather against her bare thigh. She opened her eyes slowly. Justin was unfastening one of her garters and the cuff of his sleeve was rhythmically grazing across her skin as he did so. "That tickles." she said.

"Rose didn't manage to get you out of your clothes last night." Justin said, letting his hand drift between her thighs, stroking her legs haphazardly.

"Oh." Iris said, rolling onto her side, and trapping Justin's hand between her legs.

"Come on now, you need to change out of these things." Justin said. He pulled each of her stalkings off, rolling her back onto her back though she was resistant. He pushed her skirt up to her waist and pulled her arms to make her sit up so he could pull it over her head. She sat limply in her slip and let herself slump into Justin.

"I feel terrible." she mumbled into his chest. "And I'm cold."

"Its overcast. The forecast is for storms." Justin said, hugging Iris for a minute. "You need to at least wash your face and brush your teeth Iris, then you can come right back to bed. Sofie can do your errands for the day...When you kissed me last night, you left lipstick on me. It's a miracle Rose didn't notice." Justin added as an afterthought, looking out the window at the utterly dreary landscape.

Iris pulled away from him. "I'm still wearing lipstick?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yes." he said bringing his sleeve to her mouth and wiping away the last traces of lipstick, lifting his sleeve so she could see.

"You'll ruin those pajamas." Iris said, pulling at his sleeve. "If you leave it with me today, I'll get those stains out." she said.

"I kind of like them." Justin said. "But I suppose I should let you take care of it." Justin unbuttoned his shirt and let it slip off of his shoulders.

"Not right now." Iris said, sitting up straighter and looking at the door.

"The door's locked Iris." Justin said folding his shirt and setting it on the nightstand next to her bed. Iris reached out a hand and traced the tattoo inked across his torso. Justin grabbed her hand and moved it over the wound in the center of his chest and pressed it flat there, closing his eyes and exhaling in a sweet ecstasy. Iris pressed her hand into him and leaned against him again, this time kissing his chest, and running her hand along his skin, feeling his muscles tremble as her fingertips bounced along his abdomen. Justin snaked his fingers into her hair, holding her to him. Iris moved up and began to kiss his neck softly, and she knew that she was going to give in this morning, she was going to give him what he wanted. So that maybe he wouldn't think to take it out on Rose, so that he wouldn't think to worry about Jack. So that she could sleep easy again for the first time in months. Because she desired him too, no matter how much she didn't want to.

Justin and Iris made love quietly in the gray twilight, completely naked on top of the covers of her unmade bed. Justin moved slowly on top of her, kissing along her neck and whispering softly into her ear sentiments she couldn't quite make out. It was always uncomfortable for Iris when they made love, and Iris decided more than any physical incompatibilities the real culprit was the fact that some part of her could never fully relax around the idea of her brother inside of her. Yet despite this she found herself whispering "More." into Justin's ear every few minutes, and he would oblige her, shifting himself on top of her, or moving some part of her body this way or that to accommodate what she was requesting. As the pace of what they were doing began to increase Iris found her hangover catching up with her, and nausea began to move through her as Justin thrust on top of her.

"Stop." she finally gasped. "I'm going to be sick."

"Dear God." Justin whispered as he collapsed on top of her and then rolled off onto the bed.

Iris stumbled quickly onto the floor and then into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her. Justin laid on his back, panting trying to calm his body down, until the sound of Iris retching in the bathroom distracted him from his aching body. He pulled himself out of the bed and traipsed over to the bathroom door.. Iris was still retching. "Iris, let me help you. I can make you feel better." he said quietly into the door.

"No, I don't want you to use any of your magic tricks on me." Iris called back, before retching into the toilet again.

"Don't be foolish." Justin said into the door, stroking it with his hand is if it was her face or her hair.

"I'm fine." Iris called back, flushing the toilet. Justin could hear the tap in the sink running and the sound of Iris brushing her teeth. The tap suddenly stopped and the door opened under Justin's hand. Iris was looking up at him, her hair pinned back, and her face still dripping with water. She had a towel wrapped around her. Justin looked down at her and smiled. "What?" she asked.

"Your modesty." Justin said as Iris started to walk back toward the bed. He reached out and pulled the towel away from her.

"Justin." she turned around trying to cover herself.

"I like the way you look." he said, following behind her. She rushed to the bed, pulling a sheet over herself as she laid back down.

Justin crawled onto the bed pulling the sheet off of her and moving on top of her and kissing up her torso, sinking his flesh into her flesh, savoring the sensation of so much of their skin touching. He slid inside of her easily and returned to his place whispering tendernesses into her ear. It was hard to tell how much time passed before Iris began to tighten her legs around him, breathing erratically as his pace increased. The gray light of the overcast day made the atmosphere, somehow timeless. It was quiet save for Iris's whimpering until Justin let out a single "Oh, God." as he poured into her.

Justin and Iris laid wrapped together listening to the sounds of Sofie performing her daily chores downstairs. "I love you Iris." he whispered into her ear.

"I know you do." Iris whispered back, before drifting off into a heavy sleep.


	31. Chapter 31

Iris woke up alone. The room was bright, but the grey day made it hard for her to tell what time it was. She wondered for a moment if she had dreamt Jusitn being in her room, but a quick moment in her body and she realized that she wasn't wearing any clothes. She looked at the nightstand and saw the top of his pajamas was still folded neatly there. Iris listened for a moment to see if she could hear any activity in the house, but she heard absolute silence.

Iris forced herself out of bed to start her day. She felt terrible and found herself taking great pains to get ready again on this new morning, in some way to detract from how utterly awful she felt physically. Her fingertips and toes felt cold as she sat in front of the mirror putting on a face full of makeup for the second day in a row, and she realized it was the first time she'd felt cold in months. She looked out the small window in the bathroom and saw that the world outside was dull and colorless. She couldn't see anyone moving about in the yard.

Iris put on the dark blue dress she had that Justin hated, it was made of a thicker fabric. And she dug into the back of her closet for a sweater. She pulled at the first one that met her hand and pulled on the thick forest green thing, though it looked a little too bright, or long or heavy with her dress. As she sat on the edge of her bed rolling they dark grey jersey knit socks she'd pulled from the back of her drawer she looked up at herself in the mirror. Iris surprised herself at the warmth of her appearance, and she realized with a smile that this was the benefit of makeup she'd never considered, or perhaps never needed.

She thought of the image of Rose that she always carried with her, sitting in the sun of a window in the skullery of the Dahlia house, holding up a mirror and dotting her lip rouge on the apples of her cheeks and blending them vigorously. It made sense to Iris now that Rose was almost always recovering from a night of drinking and toward the end, carousing with the good doctor. Iris had always thought it funny, and marveled at how Rose could so thoroughly abuse her complexion with heavy creams and constant rubbing, and of course at night, rigorous scrubbing, following by the lathering of even more creams, and somehow still manage to stay beautiful. Iris ran her hand across her own cheek thinking of the irony that Rose was so dependent on something she most likely didn't need. It was kind of a metaphor for her personality Iris decided as she stood up and headed for her door, finally starting to feel warm.

When she got to the door she noticed that there was a note on the floor that someone had slipped under the door. She picked it up and read it as she opened her door.

_Ira,_

_Sofie went to town to take your place at the Rotary and run errands. You'll have to start dinner. Rose and I are gone looking for something to do with the afternoon._

_J_

_To my Lovely Iris,_

_I left you something in the icebox, drink it...It works everytime._

_Love,_

_Rose_

Iris folded up the letter feeling a tension rise and fall in her stomach. She remembered Justin's shirt and fetched up into her arms quickly before stepping out into the hall. It was dark and dreary in the house. Iris made her way downstairs quickly, and was thankful the temperature was a little warmer. She dropped the shirt onto the table and went about turning on the lights in the living room and dining room, hoping to warm up the atmosphere a bit.

The cool outside wore on her mood so she closed the curtains too as she went through the rooms before taking up the shirt from the table and moving into the kitchen to begin working on the stains along the cuff of the sleeves. She searched under the sink for her cleaning agents, but found they'd been moved. She headed down the hallway to the laundry room, realizing it was an idosynchracity of hers to do her cleaning and mending in the kitchen, where she could still be near activity. It was a habit she'd picked up working with Rose, so they could be together as one did the dishes or prepared meals. As she moved through the dark hallway she passed the telephone and thought of Jack. The tension moved through her body again. She felt a different kind of nausea moving through her this time.

It was guilt. She wanted to call him, but she was afraid he would somehow sense what she'd done. She stood there for a moment in the cold tucking her hands into the sleeves of her thick knit sweater feeling an anxious sweat moving over her. The memory of Jack smiling at her across the table at the diner that first afternoon they'd talked together in town flashed in her mind. She recalled the warm temperature that day as they'd walked across the dirt lot in the middle of town to her car. Then she thought of the feel of Justin's skin as he'd laid next to her this morning. It occurred to Iris how much easier it would be just to forget Jack, to send Rose on her way back to Los Angeles, and to bow her head and accept the life that up until a few months ago had perfectly adequate for her. Iris decided not to call. It would be too risky anyway. She found her supplies quickly in the laundry room and made her way back to the kitchen. Pausing again briefly in front of the telephone, half expecting it to ring.

Back in the kitchen Iris remembered Rose's addendum to Justin's note and opended up the icebox. A glass of some dark colored liquid was chilling in a tall glass. Iris wasn't looking forward to adding to her cool temperature but she pulled the glass out and set it on the counter. She stared at it for a long time trying to figure out what might be in it, but it looked something like grapejuice or gravy. Iris tried to smell it, but it was too cold to really smell like anything. Iris closed her eyes and drank down the thick mixture quickly. Surprisingly it didn't taste very bad, it didn't taste like much of anything actually. She set the glass in the sink and waited. It was so cold she could feel it as it made it's way down to her stomach. Iris set to work dousing the lipstick stains along the cuff of Justin's shirt. She laid the sleeve out flat against the counter and took one of the brushes she stuffed in her pocket and began scrubbing.

The outside edges of the stain began to break up and bleed, and the force with which Iris had to scrub was enough to warm her up. She took off her sweater and set it aside. She opened up the bottom drawer next to the sink and pulled out her neatly folded apron. She shook it loose and admired it for a minute in the warm lamp light. Iris smiled to herself. Rose would be laughing hysterically at the site of Iris's apron, too, too clean. Iris made a note to herself to start living in things. She put the smock on and went back to work on the shirt. She mixed together a paste of ammonia and detergent and worked the fabric with the brush, making soft circles until there was a layer of pink foam on the fabric of the shirt. She got lost in the repetition of the activity, allowing her mind to drift to Christopher of all people. She thought of his smile and the way his face had looked as he'd pryed loose the boards covering her window.

Iris wondered what it was that he thought of all the things he'd seen. He hadn't seen many that she knew of, but what he had seen must have been perplexing. She tried to think of how she would put the evidence together if she didn't know what the full picture was. Iris couldn't really think of anything that made sense, but was thankful, that the average person would find the logical conclusion preposterous. _Wouldn't they?_

A rough hand suddenly came over Iris's mouth and pulled her into a hard body. Another arm came around her waist and pinned her more securely. "Shhhh." a familiar masculine sound cooed into her ear. Iris moved her eyes down and took in the strong fair forearms around her midsection. The arms were large and strong like Jack's, but the sleeves were the dirty torn cuffs of a thermal shirt that Christopher would wear. The arms relaxed around her, one hand moving up to her shoulder as a mouth pressed into her neck, sending a shudder down her whole body, they way only Jack could. And Iris relaxed back into him. He moved another hand behind her and she felt him pull at her apron strings, and slide a hand under the front of her apron, moving up to the bodice of her dress and dipping a hand to her collor, cupping a breast. Jack sighed into her ear. "Are you smiling?" he asked.

"Yes." she said, moving a hand to cover his on the outside of her apron.

"Your heart's beating very fast my dear." Jack said cupping her breast more firmly.

"You scared me half to death Jack." Iris said trying to turn around. Jack pulled his hand out of her dress and released her so she could turn around. She faced him, looking at his chest first. He was wearing dirt caked overalls and a white undershirt that was equaally stained. She leaned back against the counter and moved her eyes up to his face. He was smirking at her, but his eyes were clear blue and looking right through her under their dark brows. Iris smiled and he pushed into her kissing her softly, until she matched his movements and they worked their way into a more substantial kiss. Jack pulled back, wiping at his mouth immediately and looking down at his hands at the lipstick smeared there, he rubbed his fingers together until the lipstick was absorbed into his skin. He looked up at her and smiled.

"I take it you didn't know I was coming." he said. "Or at least I hope that you don't plan on keeping your lipstick on around me."

"Jack, what are you doing here?" Iris whispered, looking towards the doorway behind him.

"Don't worry about it Iris. Christopher has it under control." Jack's eyes twinkled. "I don't know about that boy. The way he snuck me in here." Jack said, leaning into Iris and smiling, "Do you realize how much that kid knows about this place?"

"It wouldn't surprise me." Iris said shrugging her features briefly.

"It's a little dangerous." Jack said running a finger along the line of Iris's lip, fixing a smudge of lipstick. "He could take it into his head to take advantage of that knowledge."

"I know, I'm sure you've seen it all." Iris said rolling her eyes.

"I never lie to you Iris." he said straightening his features. "It's never my intention to frighten you unnecessarily. I just want to bring your attention to things." he said, stroking her cheek and smiling.

Iris grabbed Jack's hand and held it to her face for a moment. "Christopher would never do anything to hurt me." she said, kissing his hand. "He would view that as declasse." she smiled.

"Oh really." Jack said lifting his eyebrows. He laughed and pulled Iris to him, lifting her slightly off of her feet. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let him, pull her as he walked backward and stumbled back into a chair, sitting down roughly, and pulling her into his lap. "Tell me little girl, when Christopher explained to you his manifesto on manners."

Iris kicked her legs slightly and smiled at Jack. "I'm your elder sir, and don't you forget that." Iris said as she settled more comfortably into Jack's lap. "But, if you must know, me and Christopher don't use words, we don't need to." she said, adopting the posture of a learned lady.

"Is that so?" Jack said, switching into the mode of interrogator.

"That's right." Iris said, straightening her back. "We can lay thoughts out in each others minds like words on a page."

"Like lovers?" Jack said smiling, but cocking an eyebrow.

"Oh, well yes. I mean of course the fact that we are lovers helps. I did mention that didn't I? That we were lovers." Iris put her hand to her chest like an austere socialite. "He says I remind him of his dear mother." she said, raising the pitch of her voice slightly, and annunciating her words breathily before breaking into a fit of soft laughter.

"Oh well, that won't do, that won't do at all." Jack said, shifting into a stern tone. "I'll not share you Iris." he said and pulled her closer to him, sliding a hand up under the skirt of her dress, running a finger under the edge of undewear at the joint of her leg and hips. Iris grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him deeply, relishing in the warm feeling that moved through her whole body as she pressed into the hard solid muscles of his chest, and the sturdy shape of his arms.

"Your so strong Jack." she whispered into his ear. "You make me feel safe."

"I wish I made you feel safer Iris." he said in a tone that did little to mask his frustration at the current situation. Jack moved his hand down to the garters just below her knees, holding up her socks. He ran his finger inside the top of one of them, back and forth slowly. It sent chills through Iris's whole body. She missed Jack's affection suddenly and intensely, and her eyes began to well with tears. "I want us to be together." he said as she buried her head in his neck.. "Tell me what you want and I'll do it." Iris pulled away and faced Jack, tears were threatening to overflow from her eyes. "What do you want?" he asked again. Iris sat silent, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I can't." Iris finally said. "Not right now. I can't think. This is too much for me."

"What's too much for you?" Jack said, reaching up and wiping the tears from her face. "Please don't cry baby, that's the last thing I want you to do. Please. We only have a little more time together."

"This is so silly." Iris said wiping at her face. "You drove all this way and I'm crying."

"I'd drive all day and all night just to stand next to you Iris" Jack said, pulling her arms away from her face and pulling her back down towards him. "Just tell me what you want. Do you want me to move here and live in a shack on the other side of the river? Do you want to come with me to San Francisco? Do you want to get married? Just name it and I'll do it." He kissed her, pulled her into him hard.

Iris pulled back. She looked at him and then looked around at the house. "I want to go somewhere were no one knows me." Iris started, without looking back down at Jack, but rather looking at the landscape she knew to be on the other side of the drawn curtians, looking over the images of a life that existed in her mind alone, in her memories. "I want to live far away from my brother and the Church of the Air, and Dignity Ministry, and the migrants, and the memories of Dr. Dahlia. I want to see all of my old friends, and drink with them late into the night without worrying about what might be said or heard." Iris looked down at Jack.

"I can take you away right now, today." Jack said, his voice rising with his hope. "You never have to see this place ever again if you don't want to."

"No Jack. I couldn't just leave my brother, or the ministry, or my responsibilites. Those are the fantasies of a selfish little girl, not a grown woman with her wits about her. Certainly not the woman you know." Iris said, growing calm. "We can talk about this more later, but these aren't the decisions a person should make in the heat of the moment. We're talking about lives here, and not just ours." Iris said, with a crescndo of confidence in her tone.

"I want to get married Iris." Jack said flatly. Iris looked down at him, testing his gaze. "I know how I feel about you, we're not children. I hardly think it's prudent to waste time." Jack straightened in his chair. "This is serious."

"Are you proposing to me?" Iris asked wriggling off of his lap to stand in front of him.

"I suppose so." Jack said leaning forward on his knees. "I know it's not the most romantic gesture but, I'd like you to think about it." Jack stood up so he was standing in front of Iris. "I'm offering you a life, a life you want."

Iris dropped her head, shaking it. Jack grabbed her chin and tilted it up so she was forced to look at him. "Don't give me an answer now. Just consider what I've said, there's no time limit on you. This isn't an ultimatum. But if your hestitant because your unsure about me, don't be." Jack leaned down and kissed her. Iris just looked at him, expressionless. "I have to go now, but Rose is supposed to come up to San Francisco to meet with Caleb again in a few days. Will you think about coming with her? Just for a day. Just to see, how it, you know." he said. Jack leveled his gaze at Iris, pushing his will into her, focusing all of who he was into looking at her, at seeing her, at being seen by her.

"I'll think about it." Iris said. She felt sick. She felt lightheaded.

"I love you." he said quickly, leaning in and kissing her a final time on the cheek before turning and ducking out of the kitchen. Iris stood there for awhile, looking at Justin's shirt crumpled on the counter, the empty glass in the sink. She crumpled to the floor and felt the whole world tipping on its axis. She felt unbelievably hot. She brought her palms to her cheeks, and her fingers were ice cold. Iris couldn't breathe, she thought she might be able to close her eyes and literally die. She opened her eyes again, but the kitchen was still there and nothing had changed. Iris told herself she had to just go on like nothing had happened. She told herself to not think about it. Not yet. Iris slowly stood up. She went to the counter running the tap and holding Justin's shirt under the running water, running her thumb across the lathering stains as the water washed away the traces of her lipstick. Eventually all that remained were two very faint pink clouds. She rung the shirt out and carried it dripping to the laundry room to hang. She stared at the shirt for a moment, hanging over the washbasin, dripping slowly. She looked outside and saw that it had begun to rain. Tracks of water were moving across the small window above the shelf lined with cleaning products. Iris wiped at her eyes and looked down at her hands. Faint black smears ran along the sides of her fingers.

Iris made her way back to the kitchen and tried to think of what to make for dinner. Her mind wouldn't work. Iris walked out onto the front porch. It was raining hard and no one could really be seen anywhere. The men that normally did the security rounds were huddled under trees along the edge of the property, Iris knew more than saw. She felt lost. She looked along the landscape in front of her for anything that looked familiar. Panic started to moved through her. Iris saw something bobbing in the periphery of her vision. She looked over to the right and saw Christopher's form moving toward her from a cropping of trees. He was jogging swiftly. She stood waiting as he came up the stairs until he was standing in front of her. "I have to make dinner." she said, and a fresh set of tears fell down her cheeks.

Christopher moved past her and opened the door stepping into the house. He turned and motioned for her to come in. She followed him in as he walked to the kitchen. She sat down at the table in the kitchen as he opened all of the cupboards.

"Where are the pots?" he asked.

"Down there." Iris said, pointing behind him.

"Don't worry. It's going to be okay, alright?" Christopher said kneeling down in front of her as she sat. "I used to have make dinner for me and my sisters all the time when my ma took sick. It'll be okay." Christopher got back up and began moving about the kitchen. Iris got up quietly and made her way to the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror for a long time before getting her bearings and beginning to clean up her face. After several minutes she began to move in a more fluid motion, until she was able to steady her hands enough to reapply the eyeliner and mascara she'd cried off. When she finished Iris looked at herself in the mirror and took herself in, mystified by her own reflection. Mystified at the fact that she somehow looked as though nothing at all was the matter. Iris looked at herself again before turning out the light and making her way back to the kitchen.

Christopher was standing over the stove stirring a large pot and Iris could smell that it was vegetable stew. There was flour all over the counter and Christopher pointed to the oven. "There are rolls in there, and the stew should be ready soon." he set the spoon down and approached Iris. He reached into her hair and pulled out a pin dropping it into the front pocket of her apron. "C'mon." he said pulling her by the hand toward the stove. He reached over to the counter, placing his palm into the layer of flour on the tile. "Here." he said touching the tip of her nose. He walked behind her and brought his arms around her back, wiping his hands across her torso, leaving trailing hand prints along the front of her apron. "There, now you look the part." he said. He moved around to the front of her and looked her up and down.

Iris looked at the boy before her, wondering again, what it is that he thought was taking place in this house. What exactly he thought was at stake here. She opened her mouth to try and form a question she didn't even know how to ask. Unsure if she was going to ask something, or maybe confess it. Christopher kissed her on the cheek and pulled back, lifting his hand to her cheek and running his thumb along the apple of her cheek as though she was a child herself. He dropped his hand down. "A free fish understands very little about what is happening to the hooked one." he said. He stared at her for another moment. Locking eyes with her, lifting his eyebrows as if to ask if he'd answered her question adequately.

"Thank you." Iris whispered.

Christopher nodded his head and disappeared down the hallway toward the laundry room. Iris wondered what escape route there was there that she didn't know about.


	32. Chapter 32

Sofie spied Justin and Rose out the window of the meeting hall. The women of the Rotary were sitting around in a semi circle discussing the benefits of a pot luck or barbecue for the end of the summer, and which charities might be the most worthy. Sofie could tell from the lackluster enthusiasm of the women and the hesitant way some kept giving into the majority that Iris normally held some station of significance here, and that someone, or some voting block was taking advantage of her absence.

"What did you say your name was dear." a blonde headed woman asked her. She had a naturally shaky voice and her eyes were a kind of bug eyed blue that is expected of yellow hair. Sofie recognized this woman was attractive by normal standards, but she held absolutely no charm. Sofie turned quickly to face the group.

"Magda." Sofie said with a smile. "My name is Magda." Sofie turned to face the group and relished the fact that she was a good ten years younger than what could be deemed to be the pretty woman. The collection of female like creatures currently bickering in the stale meeting hall were all in various states of what Sofie liked to think of as Coreen-hood. Some were gaining the weight faster than others, some were developing the kind of loud, unapologetically superficial personality and mannerisms, while others were already becoming hardened by their disdain for people like Sofie. Young, pretty girls who had yet to sell themselves into the kind of indentured servitude being a middle class housewife seemed to entail. Sofie wondered what was worse, facing a life of scrubbing toilets, or a life spent pretending to care about people that pretended to care about you. As she took in the women before her she decided that she would rather be on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor than stuffed into the strangely accented hats and god awful tailored dresses that these poor women were forced to live in. Sofie realized that they all must be incredibly bored. The end of the summer social was something to do.

"Well Magda, did Iris give you any instructions as to what her wishes were on any of these matters?" another woman asked. This woman had dark hair like Sofie and she seemed close to what Sofie might recognize as normal. Her dress was plain and her voice still seemed like it belonged to someone that regularly talked with other people, and not small dogs and children. Sofie wondered if these women realized that their voices had a habit of working in a register completely unsuitable for interaction with the public, and even more so for saying anything you wanted anyone to listen to with any degree of seriousness or thought.

"I was just instructed to listen." Sofie lied. She hadn't even been told that much. Justin had merely listed off to her Iris's usual activities. Not even activities so much as places she went and the times she went there, and who generally he understood to be in attendance at these meetings. Sofie had stepped off the porch with a chuckle realizing how little Justin understood about what it was that Iris did with her time. As she made her way through town she stopped at the library to do "something dealing with donations", she met with a thin man in a sweater vest with a white broom mustache. He'd engaged her in a long conversation about the importance of literacy in the migrant population and they'd gotten into a conversation about gypsy folklore. Through the course of the conversation Sofie had figured out that Iris was the buffer between Justin's intensity and idealism and people living and working in the world beyond the confines of the ministry. It was this man, George she came to find out, who explained to her what it actually was that Iris might be doing at a Women's Rotary meeting, and what it might be important to take note of.

Sofie hadn't got the impression that any of these people were entirely fond of Iris, but they all seemed in some way or another keenly interested in what it is that she needed or wished them to do. Sofie decided as she walked to the meeting hall a few minutes before this meeting had begun that Iris like a pinion, a necessary, but at times limiting thing. Yet without it, things seemed disparate, energy wasted. And she was right, sitting in this small room with these women she was watching a complete waste of time happen. Sofie wasn't sure if they actually needed Iris to do work, or make decisions, or if she'd managed to create a dynamic wherein all of these women lacked the confidence to go about making decisions without Iris there to tell them they were the right ones. Sofie felt she would actually have more respect for Iris if the latter were true. But Sofie had to admit, this was more because she instantly disliked these women.

"Well, it doesn't really seem like anything is going to get done today Betty." the dark haired woman said to the blonde who had slowly become the center of attention. She'd started the meeting standing in front of her chair, but she was already standing in the middle of the circle now, and moving her arms dramatically from person to person, conducting the important business of Mintern social politics.

"Eliza, we are perfectly capable of having a meeting without Iris Crowe." Betty shot back. Eliza didn't seem phased, but turned away more it seemed to Sofie out of boredom or apathy than wounded pride or disagreement. Sofie felt like ruffling some feathers as she took one last glance out of the window and saw Rose and Justin disappearing down a side street.

"I'm sorry ladies, but Iris never talks about what it is you do here. I have no idea what it is that your planning. Is it something important?" Sofie asked the floor. All the women stared back at her blankly. Sofie glanced quickly over to Eliza, who gave the slightest crack of a smile, and Sofie knew she'd been successful.

"Iris has never mentioned the social?" Betty asked. Her eyes bulged, bug like even wider than Sofie had previously thought possible and there was a strain on the edge of Betty's voice, that normally Sofie associated with tears. But with these women and their high trilling whispering voices it was hard to tell what they were actually feeling. They always seemed on the verge of ecstasy or collapse. Or so you'd think if you listened to them without benefit of sight.

"No, I can't say that she has." Sofie said smiling. "She told me just to listen to what was discussed, and not to worry about it too much and just show our support." Sofie said, almost feeling bad as she surveyed the round table of faces, moving between expressions of anger and sadness. Each woman was either realizing that she spent most of her days wasting her time caring about a silly picnic, or she was realizing that to some people their life's work was an afterthought. Eliza was smiling, at least she had a sense of humor about how she spent her days. Another woman, an older woman sitting behind the actual circle, with white hair and a face as wrinkled as a prune was fully laughing into her handkerchief. Sofie was looking at two ends of a spectrum, the old crone who'd been a part of salon society so long she no longer cared about much of it, and Eliza obviously a new arrival into this queer phenomenon, with enough of a foot still in the regular world to see the ridiculousness of these gestures.

"Well." Betty said, straightening herself out, "I suppose we should get on with it then."

Sofie tuned out most of what was said through the rest of the meeting. She made eyes with the old woman and Eliza occasionally as the meeting went on. She didn't bothering looking outside or trying to openly amuse herself with something else. Rather she tried to focus as hard as she could on Eliza, to see if she could perhaps read her mind the way her mother had tried to tell her she could. This was Sofie's favorite practice lately, and she found that she could get away with it completely undetected as she seemed merely to be a quiet person, or to be listening intently to the conversations going on around her. Sofie hadn't felt real success the way she had reading cards with her mother. She didn't have anyone to really show her how. Sofie was beginning to understand a little bit about what she could do, but was still miles away from understanding how to use that knowledge to her advantage.

Sofie liked Jack for this reason above all others. She could read his thoughts like book. There was nothing dishonest in him, but more importantly, there was no contradiction within him. Sofie had found that the most common thought she read in people was that of confusion and conflict. People were much more complicated then they seemed, and they had all this conflicting parts of themselves all reacted to the same thing at once. Sofie found that reading people was kind of a gamble in that way. You had to trust your gut in a way, which impulse you thought a person was most likely to follow. Iris had surprised her running off with Jack. There wasn't an ounce of Iris that believed she was going to get away with what she was doing, and Sofie marveled at the fact that even so, the first morning Justin had freed her from her cage, she'd sent Jack word through her mute messenger.

Sofie felt something suddenly. It was like a blanket wrapped around her, but it wasn't a material thing, it was a sudden weight of feeling. Sofie looked up and saw Eliza looking out one of the windows. Sofie followed with her eyes and saw Justin and Rose walking arm and arm. Justin was holding an umbrella over Roses head. Sofie felt something strange pull in her heart, an open warm feeling, and anxiety wrapped tightly around it. Sofie recognized the feeling immediately as lust, as longing. Eliza was attracted to Justin. Sofie smiled into her lap. That was a feeling she'd encountered enough times since she'd started working at the Crowe house and Sofie didn't really hold it against anyone that felt it. Justin was a handsome person and he could harness his passion eloquently behind the pulpit. Justin was indeed everything that Iris wasn't. If Iris couldn't win, Justin had never lost. Sofie hadn't seen it before, but now she understood all to clearly that Justin was an easy victory for this reason. He lived in fear of losing it all, as sure as Iris was that she'd never get away from Justin, Justin was sure that defeat would find him eventually.

There was a commotion at the door and Justin emerged from behind the doors in the back of the meeting hall. The chill outside had flushed his face in such a way that he looked suddenly radiant, and Sofie could feel the sudden overwhelming fawning of every woman in the room wash through her at once.   
"Good afternoon Ladies." Justin bellowed into the room smiling broadly.

"If you'll excuse me." Sofie said getting up from her chair and walking to the back of the room to meet him.

"Sofie, it seems we've been caught in the rain, so we'll be riding back up to the house with you." Justin said. "We'll just be waiting outside when you finish up." Justin said placing a hand on Sofie's shoulder gently. Sofie stared at him for a moment, trying to see if she could feel whether or not something had happened between him and Rose, without having a vested interest in the answer itself.

"Brother Crowe." Betty called out, "Why don't you join us in your sister's absence."

Justin stopped in his tracks taking in the woman in front of him. Sofie already knew he was going to say yes. Not out of embarrassment, or because he felt awkward saying no, but because he couldn't resist the chance to be surrounded by adoring subjects. The fact that they were women was a mere afterthought to him really. Justin's weakness was that no amount of adulation was ever enough, no amount of praise was enough to convince him that when tested, when he was truly tested, he would fail. Justin had no idea how to fail.

"I'm afraid ladies, that I have a guest with me at the moment." Justin smiled.

Sofie had already been walking back to her seat, expecting Justin and Rose to be right behind her. She stopped and turned around, surprised that she'd been wrong. That he was going to refuse this opportunity.

"It's alright Justin." Rose called from behind the door. Sofie knew that Rose was going to be emerging from behind the heavy wooden doors any second and she didn't want to miss a single look on the womens' faces. Sofie quickly turned her back to Justin, so she was facing the semi-circle of women, who were all standing now, except for the old crone in the far back. "I don't mind at all." Sofie heard Rose finish, and then she watched as the eyes of the women before her widened briefly and their chests heaved in unison. Sofie had never felt anything quite like it before, but the ugliest feeling of inadequacy moved through her, and she couldn't push it out of her mind fast enough. Sofie turned back around and there was Rose.

When they had parted ways this morning, Rose had been wearing a pretty pale blue dress and a simple red flower in her hair. But that dress was unrecognizable. Somehow Rose had managed to get totally soaked in the rain, and now the dress clung to every nuance of her frame, and her hair hung down wet. Even Sofie felt it, the urge to reach out and just touch her.

"You'll have to forgive me." Rose said walking ahead of Justin towards the women. "I seem to have gotten caught in the rain." Rose approached Sofie, grabbing her hand and pulling her back toward the circle of women.. "I'm Rose." she said moving towards the periphery of the circle. "I'm a dear friend of Justin's sister Iris."

"It's lovely to meet you." Eliza said standing up and moving closer to Rose, to take her hand. "I'm Eliza. If you'd like I can show you to the restroom, we might be able to ring some of those things out." Sofie focused hard on Eliza but she couldn't sense anything. "My word, you are a beautiful thing." Eliza said .

"Oh my goodness. Thank you so much." Rose said, laughing nervously. "Aren't you kind? Perhaps you could show me to that restroom."

"Follow me. I think there are even some donated clothes in a box back in the office, maybe something you could use to dry off with." Eliza said as Rose followed her into a hallway behind the old crone, who sat smiling widely at the women before her.

Sofie felt an arm on her shoulder and looked up to see Justin standing next to her. "So what are you ladies discussing this week?" Justin said smiling at the women assembled on the floor.

"They're deciding on the details for the End of Summer Social?" Sofie said looking from face to face. The women all seemed keenly disinterested in the words coming out of Sofie's mouth. Half of them still had their eyes cocked toward the hallway were Rose and Eliza had disappeared, and the other half were gaping open mouthed at Justin standing before them smiling.

"My favorite event of the year." Justin said enthusiastically. "You ladies always make it such a delight."

"Oh come on now Brother, a man of God ought not to tell lies." a voice bellowed from the back.

Justin smiled even bigger. "Is that Constance I hear?" Justin said crossing through the circle of women to the old crone sitting in the back. He quickly hugged her where she sat and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Praise the Lord." she muttered, smiling up into his face as he stood back up.

"Indeed Constance." Justin said looking around the room at the women standing nervously.

"Justin, things are falling apart without your dear sister bless her heart." Constance said, threading all of her words together with one breath. "And these chattering ninnies here are loathe to admit that Iris is the only one is who can tell the mayor or any of the other committee chairs around this town what exactly we intend to see happen at this event, and more important she's the only one they like because she's the only one none of them are married too." she finished, looking sternly at the women before her. Sofie giggled. It was funny to see women twice her age being lectured like schoolchildren. Constance looked hard at Betty standing sourly in the middle of the circle. "Iris is the only woman in this town marriage hasn't made absolutely useless." Constance finished.

"Well, my sister should be back with you next week." Justin smiled down at her.

"Wonderful." Constance said reaching out a hand to Justin. Justin helped her to stand. "If you'll excuse me ladies I'm going to go home and straighten my spice rack." Constance cracked as she walked towards the exit. She stopped as she passed Sofie. "Take care Sofie, and mind you make sure and tell Iris how terrible this whole thing went, so she doesn't take it into her mind to miss anymore meetings."

"Certainly." Sofie said bowing her head to the old woman.

"And be sure and tell her that this was the biggest waste of my time, and I take it personally." Constance added shooting a look across the room to the women making a tight circle around Betty now.

"I'm sorry dear, I thought your name was Magda?" Betty said, tilting her head and taking Sofie in.

"No my dear." Constance called out, almost to the door. "Sofie, she said so when she first arrived here. Really Betty, it's only two lousy syllables. You must learn to bother with people that you aren't hoping to make use of just as well as the ones you plan to take full advantage of." With that Constance disappeared out of the door. Sofie was a little embarrassed to make eye contact with Betty when she turned back around.

"That woman has hearing like a fruit bat." Betty spat into the ear of the woman standing next to her. "I'm sorry I forgot your name Sofie. There was just a lot of confusion when you arrived." Betty said smiling at Sofie, without actually bothering to move any of the muscles in her face toward a happier expression.

"It's fine." Sofie said smiling and shrugging her shoulders. "It happens to the best of us."

"Right." Betty said, rolling her eyes briefly and turning her attention to Justin.

"So Brother Justin what brings you to town today? Aren't you usually busy up there in that camp you've started." Betty asked.

"I was on a date with Rose, and I thought I'd show her around Mintern, so she could see how it's changed over the years." Justin said, not bothering with pretense.

"Why Justin, I don't think I've ever known you to date." Betty said.

"How does your sister feel about this?" Another woman chimed in. There was an awkward silence for a moment, and the woman turned light pink. "I mean, you said she was, or she said she was, someone said she was a good friend of your sister's." the woman explained.

"Oh, it's really not all that serious." Justin winked at the woman. "Rose came to visit Iris, but Iris was feeling under the weather, so I merely stepped in to show her around, and make sure she enjoys her stay."

"Well, that's awfully sweet of you." Betty said, letting her eyes twinkle at Justin.

"And here I thought you were really romancing me?" Rose's voice echoed over the din. Everyone looked back and there was Rose in a pair of dark brown mens trousers and a little boys thermal undershirt. Eliza was standing next to her smiling widely.

"You're ready to go pick cantaloupe Rose." Eliza said appraising her.

"I must say I've never seen a more striking young man." Justin said. Sofie watched him carefully. He was beaming. It never failed to surprise Sofie how much Justin was an ordinary man still. Utterly delighted to be in the presence of a beautiful woman, no matter the circumstances.

"If you two would like to continue on your date, I really think that we've accomplished all that we can for today." Betty said as the other women began milling about for their bags, gathering together whatever papers they'd attempted to haul out in the first five minutes of the meeting before it'd become apparent that Iris really wasn't coming.

"Shall we then?" Justin said signaling for Sofie and Rose to walk ahead of him to the door. The two women moved quickly for the door. Rose grabbed Sofie's hand and squeezed it, before dropping it and sliding her hand up Sofie's back, and bringing it to rest on her shoulders. It was an affection that made Sofie smile, and she hoped that the women behind them noticed it.

Rose leaned into Sofie's ear. "Did you see the looks on their faces? I was worried I wouldn't be able to get wet enough without Justin noticing I was trying." Rose whispered.


	33. Chapter 33

Iris sat at the kitchen table thinking about Jack. She ran her finger in circles along the dark wood, replaying again in her mind what had been said, and the gravity of what he'd confessed, professed. It weighed heavy on her. In the hours that had passed since he'd left her Iris really hadn't moved much. She'd taken the rolls out of the oven hours ago. And the stew was still simmering on the stove. The stew smelled wonderful to Iris, but she couldn't bring herself to eat it, though she was starving. When she'd taken the rolls out of the oven earlier she'd tried to bring one to her mouth, but she hadn't been able to go through with it. The clock struck eight o'clock, it was the third time it had chimed while she sat quietly at the table, thinking of Jack and waiting for her brother to get home.

Iris stood up from the table, deciding that she didn't have it in her to endure another dinner with Justin and Rose. It was late enough for her to get away with turning in without arousing too much suspicion, and probably without being disturbed by them when they got home. Iris didn't want to think about anything but Jack. She wanted to crawl into bed with Jack and never wake up apart from him again. Iris turned the stove off and headed down the hallway to the laundry room. Justin's shirt was dry and she folded it over her arm and headed back down the hall toward the stairs and her bedroom, and the sweet release of sleep.

Iris stopped by the phone. She found herself dialing the number before she could really think about it. As she listened to it ring she tried to force herself to hang up, but she needed to hear his voice, no matter the potential danger. "Hello?" Jack's voice crackled over the phone line. Iris couldn't bring herself to answer. "Hello." Jack's voice sounded again. There was a long silence. Iris found her eyes welling up with tears again. She wanted just once for something in her life to be simple. "Iris?" Jack asked, and Iris let herself go, crying a few fits and jerks into the receiver.

"Yes." She said as she collapsed to the floor, cradling the phone, hardly able to keep her grip on the ear piece as he held it under her hair.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked.

Iris sobbed harder into the phone.

"Breathe Angel, breathe." He coached her over the line. Iris tried to reign in her tears. Finally she felt under control.

"I love you too." She whispered into the phone. Iris heard the sounds of laughter on the porch and a jolt of electricity moved through her body. "I have to go." She whispered quickly into the phone and hung up. She quickly replaced the telephone into its lacuna in the wall and moved into the kitchen.

Iris straightened herself a bit as she listened to the sounds of Rose and Sofie and Justin moving through the front door and then the living room. Iris straightened up and forced a smile across her face as she focused on the entry way to the kitchen from the front room. Rose appeared first smiling brightly. It warmed Iris's heart slightly and calmed her.

"Well hello madam." Rose said in a deep voice as she rushed to Iris, "May I have this dance?" she said as she grabbed Iris and pushed her into the icebox, leaning her face in so she was close enough to kiss her. Iris widened her eyes at Rose a bit confused.

"Excuse me sir, but I'd kindly ask you to take your hands off of my mistress." Sofie laughed, somewhere behind them. Iris peeked around Rose's shoulder and saw Sofie standing in the doorway, laughing.

"Quiet down Sofie, can't you see I'm romancing Ms. Iris here?" Rose said playfully, before turning her attentions back to Iris and bringing a hand up to stroke Iris's hair. "Might I say madam, that this apron is just lovely?" Rose said, running her hand down the front of Iris's smock, her hand landing on Iris's breast briefly. Rose winked at Iris as she did this.

"Young man, this is completely inappropriate." Iris said playing along, and pushing Rose away from her. "I wouldn't let my brother catch you at such an activity."

"What's going on in here?" Justin's voice boomed. All the women looked at him. He smiled widely. "I'm glad to see your feeling better Iris." Justin said letting his eyes linger on her. Iris felt a wave of nausea move over her remembering Justin's hands all over her earlier in the day. It was an embarrassment as though they had never been lovers. She felt shy and disgusted and nervous all at once. Rose looked at her suspiciously.

"What did you make for dinner?" Rose said bouncing over to the stove and lifting the lid off of the pot. She dipped her finger in and stuck it in her mouth, sucking at it almost seductively as she eyed Iris then, Justin. "It tastes delicious." Rose said smiling.

"It's just a stew." Iris said. "I'm afraid it's all I had the energy for."

"I'm sure it will be wonderful." Justin said moving toward the cupboards and retrieving a stack of bowls. "Shall we?" he smiled, taking in all the women.



After dinner Rose and Iris sat rocking together on the porch swing looking at the camp twinkling in the distance. The rain was still falling rhythmically and it was lulling Rose into a half -sleep in Iris's arms. Iris was listening to the clanking of dishes as Sofie cleaned up after everyone in the kitchen. Iris looked around for Justin, through the cracked curtains inside she saw him sitting in a chair in the living room next to a lamp reading the morning paper. He looked up and out at her on the porch. He didn't smile or make any other real expression. Iris realized that he couldn't actually see her through the glass because of the lamp light and the dark outside. He looked almost wolf like. He could sense her attention, but perhaps himself didn't realize what it was that was making him look up.

"What do you think is worse Rose?" Iris asked, stroking Rose's hair as Rose sunk into her breast. "To have a great happiness and no one to share it with, or a great sadness."

Rose settled down into Iris's lap. "Hmn….I don't know." She said. Squeezing at Iris's thighs and pressing her face into Iris's skirt. "I guess a sadness." Rose decided. "I mean a happiness can keep you happy if you can't share it, but a sadness does nothing for you when you can't share it." Rose said. They were silent for a spell, just rocking in the chair. Rose turned onto her back so she was looking up at Iris. Iris continued to look out at the glittering lights of the camp. "What is it you've got Iris? Surely there's nothing you can't share with me." Rose said.

"Neither. I was just wondering." Iris said.

"Nonsense Iris. Don't you dare speak to me as if I don't know you." Rose said.

Iris looked down at Rose in her lap. "Really it's nothing. I know I can share anything with you." Iris said. "You're my best friend." Iris leaned down and kissed Rose softly. Rose reached her hand up and pressed Iris's face to hers and kissed her more deeply. Iris pulled up quickly. The porch light flickered on. Rose sat up. Both women looked toward the door. Justin opened the screen door and stepped out onto the porch.

"What are you two doing?" Justin asked, smiling at them.

"I was just telling Rose good night." Iris said, standing up. "I'm heading off to bed. I still don't feel so well."

Iris walked to Justin and kissed him on the cheek. "Good night."

"Good night my dear. Hopefully tomorrow you'll be feeling better." He said, reaching around her and hugging her briefly before letting her go. Iris disappeared into the house.

Rose stood up and walked over to Justin. They stood side by side looking out at the camps. "I must thank you for a wonderful afternoon Justin." Rose said looking up at Justin. "I had a lovely time."

"Well, keeping company with such a beautiful woman was hardly a chore Rose." Justin said, smiling down at her. Rose smiled up at him, blushing slightly. "You do have one of the most beautiful smiles I've seen." Justin said, looking at her more seriously. "Even on a woman in trousers."

"It's not my best feature." Rose said, smirking at him playfully.

Justin turned into her and grabbed her in his arms. Pulling her into him hard and kissed her. Her mouth was soft and she returned the kiss tentatively. Justin moved one hand up to her hair, and let another run over her breast, grabbing at it. Justin's body reacted to the fullness of Rose's bust more than he wanted to, causing him to grind into her. The action caused Rose to open her mouth to him more and he kissed her with even more force. And then abruptly he pulled away. He looked down at her and smiled. "Is that what you were fishing for?" Rose stood before him looking dazed. "Have a good night my dear." Justin said before walking into the house.

Rose made her way back into the house wandering into the kitchen where Sofie was still cleaning. "Well I guess that answers that question." Rose muttered under her breath as she moved next to Sofie to help her put the last of the dishes away.

"What?" Sofie asked turning to Rose.

"Oh nothing sweetheart." Rose said looking over at Sofie. "Has anyone ever told you, that you are absolutely gorgeous?" Rose asked.

"No." Sofie said looking down for a moment feeling embarrassed. She sensed the honesty with which Rose was offering the assessment and it made her even more self conscious.

"Well, that's a shame. All girls should be told they are beautiful. Even if they aren't. Not that that is the case here." Rose quickly added.

"Thank you Rose." Sofie stammered out, looking back up at the older woman before her. "Especially coming from you."

"You wanna know the secret?" Rose said softly, almost whispering. Sofie looked at her intently. "Plenty of drinking and smoking and well, you know, other –ing things." Rose added.

Sofie laughed to herself. "Don't let Justin or Iris hear you say that."

"Oh I know. Praise the Lord and Hallelujah, and all that. That'll get you straight to the crucifixion. But from what I understand Jesus didn't look so great toward the end." Rose added.

"Rose, that's down right sacrilegious." Sofie smiled.

"Yes, yes it is." Rose said reassuringly. Rose shrugged her shoulders. "You have a good night sweetheart. I'll see you in the morning."

Sofie watched as Rose sauntered out of the kitchen. She could give Rita Sue a run for her money, Sofie thought. If anyone could. Not much of one, but she could.



Iris felt Jack's hands moving up her torso, cupping her breasts. She felt the press of his body against hers. The solid shape of his arms on either side of her. She weaved her fingers into his hair and kissed him as he made love to her in the dark. She felt her whole body welling, vibrating with the warm tickling sensations running over and through her. She felt the strange smoothness of his skin against the inside of her thighs and her knees as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She tried to pull him to her tighter, closer, and then suddenly she opened her eyes and realized she was alone, in the dark of her room.

Iris laid there for a moment in the dark listening to the crickets outside of her window. Her body was on fire. She reached between her legs to sooth her sex, but realized quickly that wouldn't do. She needed another body. She knew where to find one. She tried to roll on her side and drift back into the dream/memory of Jack. But she couldn't conjure the feeling again. She stared at her closed door, and felt again the strange aching sensation between her legs. Her nipples almost burned as the fabric of her nightgown rubbed against them with each heavy breath she took.

Iris got out of bed and walked to her door, opening it slowly. The night air was cold on her, and she stood there for a moment, waiting to see if the temperature would be enough to calm her body down. But all she could think of now was the sensation of Justin's mouth against her sex, the feel of Jacks kiss against her breasts. The warm pocket of air between her naked body and Jack's thrusting torso as he'd made love to her that first time. That first time. She could hear the rip of her dress again and it made something inside of her break open. She made her way across the hall to Justin's door. She paused, pressing her forehead into the cool wood of his door. She couldn't stop herself. She pushed the door open.

Justin's room was exceptionally bright because of the moonlight coming through his window. He was sleeping fitfully and Iris thought again about retreating back to her room. She turned to leave, but instead found herself shutting and locking the door. She turned back around and looked at Justin again. He was kicking away the covers. She wondered what he was dreaming about, wondering if he was missing her too. She approached the bed and stood for a moment at the edge of it, watching him. He was sweating though it was cold.

Iris reached down and touched his forehead. He opened his eyes with a start, breathing in sharply and almost jumping into a sitting position on the bed. He looked at her completely startled in the moonlight. Somehow it surprised Iris that her brother would have not sensed her somehow, especially after the changes that he'd been going through.

"What is it? What's wrong?" he asked. Iris realized that her presence in Justin's bedroom was actually quite unusual. She had never sought his company in this way before.

"I want you to touch me." Iris said, standing plainly before him.

Justin looked at her for a moment, appraising her. "Take off your nightgown." He said.

Iris quickly lifted her nightgown over her head and dropped it to the floor, forgetting her modesty all together. Justin moved so he was sitting on the edge of his bed in front of her. He stared at her in the moonlight for a long while, before grabbing her and pulling her onto his lap. Iris let out a gasp. "Where do you want me to touch you?" he asked.

"Anywhere, I don't care." She said. "I just want your hands on me." She whispered into his ear as she pressed into him.

Justin moved a hand between their bodies, cupping her breast and running a thumb across her nipple. She let out a whimper into his ear, and he dropped his head suckle at her other breast in the dark. Iris breathed harder as he worked at her, running her fingers through his hair and holding his head close to her heart. Iris moaned as he began to bite at her, she could feel him growing hard beneath her.

He shifted and turned, pressing her down flat onto the bed almost violently. He maneuvered a hand between their bodies, pulling at the waistband of his pajamas, and then he pushed himself roughly inside of her. She let out a gasp as he began thrusting at her. A rain began to fall loudly outside. "Call me Angel." She whispered into his ear as he buried his head in her neck.

"Anything you want Angel." He whispered back. Iris relaxed around him and he pushed further inside of her.

"Again." Iris commanded as Justin moved in violent fits and jerks on top of her.

"Cry out for me Angel." He said into her ear. "Like you used to when we were young." And as he thrust into her over and over again, Iris obliged, whimpering into his ear, slowly, building into an the gasping cries of anguish melded with pleasure, that stoked the fires in the most base parts of Justin's heart.


	34. Chapter 34

Rose woke up in the bright shaft of a sunbeam, instinctively she swung her legs around and forced herself up before she could think about drifting back to sleep. Old habits of domestic employment found Rose standing in the middle of the guest bedroom, shivering a bit in the morning cool and quickly working through any lists of things to do. She realized that she was out of clothes and that she would need to get more. She calculated in her mind the amount of time it would take to drive down to her home in Los Angeles and to return to Mintern, or to San Francisco. She decided it would be easier just to buy new clothes in San Francisco while she was visiting Caleb. Rose laughed to herself at the fact that money hadn't entered her mind as a concern in this little equation, something she hadn't worried about in a long time, but the reminder of this lack was no doubt brought about by the fact that she found herself standing in the guest bedroom of Iris Crowe's house.

Rose wanted to pinch herself, having never thought there would be a time when she would see Iris again, let alone stay with her. It was surprising to Rose how easily she cuddled back into Iris's arms, how little needed to be said about the time spent away from each other. To be frank, Rose wasn't that concerned with what had taken place in the time that had intervened between the two of them, and she sensed that Iris didn't much care either. Or perhaps they had never really known that much about each others lives before, it seemed quite natural to continue to skip over the specifics now. Rose looked at herself in the mirror and rubbed her eyes. They sagged more than they used to. She took in her whole frame and found herself wanting. She thought of Iris's slender figure and felt a tinge of envy. Rose thought again about the task of shopping for clothes and thought of the spectacle of looking at herself in a dozen or so mirrors as she changed in and out of things, and it was almost enough to make her consider simply returning home to fetch the few things she new fit like a glove and that she looked quite lovely in.

Rose stepped into the bathroom and washed her face and brushed her teeth. She pulled her hair back and began the task of putting on her makeup. She knew it was silly, and in fact she would be quite embarrassed if someone caught her at the act of applying makeup before changing out of her nightgown or eating breakfast, but Rose couldn't bring herself to be seen by people. There was only a brief period of time in which she wouldn't wear makeup, the five minutes before she laid down to bed, and the first five minutes of waking. And if she was making love to someone at bedtime, then she'd sleep through the night in her blush and powder, or wait until her husband fell asleep and creep into the bathroom to wipe it away. Rose thought again of Iris, she'd always been envious of the way Iris could just do without all of that. That Iris couldn't care less about what other people thought of her appearance. Of course Rose justified that with Iris's complexion, or with her figure, or with her features, or coloring, that she looked beautiful without it. But at other times Rose found herself looking at Iris's face as a canvas waiting to be filled up, at her whole person as a beauty waiting to be discovered.

As Rose looked at herself in the mirror after she was done, she caught herself smiling a bit. Vanity or no, Rose had to admit to herself, that she was a pretty thing to see. She figured that given what all she'd been through in life, God must have seen fit to give her something. No one was more surprised than she that she'd managed to maintain her appearance. She'd always looked old for her age because of her lifestyle, her clothes, her bearing. And then one day it seemed as though time stopped for her. Rose didn't question it much, just thanked the Lord and used it to her advantage. Iris had been blessed with fortitude, Johnny Lee, well along with his looks, a decent amount of brains. Rose figured that she'd been given her looks as a survival skill of sorts, and therefore didn't feel much guilt about using them to her advantage. She always knew that her ticket out of the hard life was attracting the attention of a man. Iris tried to tell her different, and in regard to Dr. Dahlia she'd been right, but in the scheme of things, Rose decided that Iris either loved her too much to see the truth, or just didn't see the truth of how the world worked.

Rose stepped out into the hallway and looked around. The house was silent. There was the sound of some movement outside. Rose looked out the windows in the front room and saw that while it was no longer raining, the landscape was still dripping and dreary, but bright, very bright. Rose passed Sofie's room and pressed her ear to the door. She could hear some movement and figured it must still be quite early. She thought of the mornings at the Dahlia house and Johnny Lee. Iris had never once let on to her that anything was going on between her and the handsome, aloof boy of the house. Rose was sure that she'd gushed to Iris more than once about his looks or his manner. As Rose climbed the stairs to Iris's room she laughed imagining the skilled and beautiful Johnny and the plain and practical Iris. Rose understood what the attraction was for her, but she wondered at what it had been for Johnny.

Rose stood in front of Iris's door for a moment and a pang of jealousy moved through her. Iris had always seemed to have an easier time at pleasing people, though Rose wasn't sure that was the exact way to describe what she felt. More that people, or the right people, always seemed to like Iris. It was at those times that Rose would find herself wondering why her looks hadn't been enough. When she wondered what it was about Iris that was so much better than her. Rose had to admit though, that if there was no better way to describe it, there was something about Iris that was just "right". If Iris did have flaws, Rose wasn't sure what they were. Iris always did the right things; always felt the right way about things. Getting Iris to come with her to San Francisco was going to be tricky.

Rose looked across the hall at Justin's bedroom door. She caught herself wondering what he would do if she snuck into his room and woke him up. Rose realized she was grinning. She quickly played out the scenario in her mind and decided that whatever humor it might afford, the potential for embarrassment or hostility was too great. Rose pushed open Iris's door.

Iris was sleeping on her side, quietly. Her hair was down and falling in her face. As Rose got closer she realized that Iris was wearing a man's pajama top. Rose laughed, wondering whose it was, knowing that Iris would never be seen actually purchasing men's clothes. Rose herself had taken to wearing her husband's pajamas after he died, in some way it made her feel close to him. Rose wondered if Iris was wearing something she'd wrestled away from Jack, or Justin. Jack didn't strike Rose as the type to wear pajamas really, but Justin most definitely would. Rose smiled at the idea of brother and sister sharing pajamas in such a way. Close family relations were a mystery to Rose. Though this circumstance had made it hard for her to comprehend why Iris would sacrifice so much of herself for Justin, it also made her feel lonely. Thinking of Iris and Justin's relationship made Rose feel as though there was something that she was missing out on completely, that there was some feeling of love or loyalty that she would never be able to understand or enjoy. Rose was beginning to have some sense of it with Caleb. When she thought of him she felt a kind of comfort, a sense of belonging or place.

Rose sat down on the bed and gently pushed the hair out of Iris's face. She leaned in closely.

"Iris." She cooed into Iris's ear, just above a whisper. Iris stirred a bit, nuzzling her face into her pillow. "Iris, Dear heart, Sweet Angel." Rose said again, a little louder.

"Hmmn?" Iris moaned as she began to turn over onto her back. The top button of her top was undone and Rose caught a brief flash of Iris nipple, and modest peak of her breast. Rose smiled to herself and reached over to button up Iris's shirt.

"Wake up darling." Rose continued. Iris blinked her eyes slowly twice, then twice more in quick succession as she tried to sit up.

"Rose." She said with a start, and pulling her shirt closed tightly in her hands, before looking down at her shirt, and then looking back up at Rose, wide eyed.

"It's alright my dear. I wear men's pajamas too." Rose said, interpreting the hesitance in Iris's gaze. "Does your brother know you're rummaging through his closet for night things?" Rose taunted. "What does it say in the bible about women not dressing like men?"

"Oh Rose." Iris smiled. "It is too early for your sense of humor." Iris said shaking her head into her hands.

"I need to borrow something to wear." Rose said, bouncing up from Iris's bed and heading over to Iris's armoire. "Is this where you keep your dresses?" she asked opening the door. Iris caught her reflection briefly in the oval mirror that hung inside of the armoire door. The image of her in Justin's nightshirt was queer to her, and wanted to get out of it as soon as possible.

"Yes. Wear anything you'd like." Iris said crawling out of bed. "I'm going to get ready for the day if you'll excuse me." Iris said as she walked past Rose heading for her bathroom.

Rose whistled as Iris walked by, and Iris turned her head lifting her eyebrows. "Those legs Iris, you really should have been a ballerina or something." Rose laughed. "And in that shirt, very sexy, I must say." She added.

Iris looked down and realized with a tinge of embarrassment that the line of Justin's shirt fell way above the line of her nightgown, exposing a good half of her upper thighs. "Oh, Rose. There is more to life that looking sexy." Iris admonished. "Besides, I completely lack grace. I'm afraid Justin got all of that." She added as she disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door.

Once inside the bathroom Iris quickly took off the shirt, stuffing it in the bottom of the clothes hamper as if hiding evidence of a great crime. She tried to replay the events of the night before in Justin's bedroom, but she couldn't quite recall how she'd ended up in Justin's shirt. All she remembered was that Justin's passion had begun to overwhelm her, and that some part of her had known that once she started crying out like a woman in fear, or a woman in pain, that it would ignite Justin into a force she couldn't control, and that she would be swept up in that, that she would become temporarily, like the maids that she'd tucked into gurney's before watching them be loaded into the van headed for the asylum. Iris caught sight of herself in the mirror and let out a startled gasp. Around her rib cage were two large bruises in the exact shape of Justin's hands. As Iris turned slowly in the mirror she saw clearly a bite imprint along her shoulder blade, and three scratches running down the other shoulder blade.

"What's wrong?" Rose asked through the door.

"Uh, nothing." Iris called back, rummaging quickly through the hamper for something to cover herself with. She grabbed up the green dress that Jack had bought her. She put it on quickly, to fix her reflection in the mirror as quickly as possible. "It was just suddenly cold is all." Iris called out again. Iris turned on the water and quickly washed her face and brushed her teeth. Iris emerged from the bathroom, patting down the collar of her dress and twisting her hair into a bun, she secured it with pins as she took a seat at her vanity. "Did you find something?" Iris asked as she looked at Rose in the reflection of her mirror.

"I like this one." Rose said, pulling out a plain black dress.

"I'm sure it will look much better on you than on me." Iris said smiling. Iris turned her attention back to the mirror and began putting on her makeup. She was getting to like the ceremony of it all, more than the finished product, it was becoming habit already. As Iris moved closer to the mirror to line her eyes with kohl, she caught site of Rose's naked back. "You can change in the bathroom if you like Rose." Iris said, feeling awkward.

"Oh, I'm fine right here." Rose said turning around, exposing her breasts to Iris in the mirror. Iris tried to look away, but she couldn't help a wandering glance back at Rose's figure. She was a little plumper than she used to be, but Iris was surprised to see that Rose's breasts were still the works of art they always had been. "It's just us girls." Rose said walking closer to Iris.

"Well, you've always been much more comfortable with your figure that most." Iris smiled, turning her full attention back to lining her eyes.

"Here, let me do that." Rose said grabbing up the mascara from the vanity and turning Iris in her chair so she could sit on her lap. "Open your eyes wide." Rose said and Iris obliged, trying not to take in the breasts that were now directly in front of her face. "You know." Rose said, stopping and sitting back a bit to face Iris, "I was always so jealous of your eyes."

"Why?" Iris said taking in the vision of Rose before her. Her skin was a perfectly pale cream color, without a freckle or mole to be seen, and her breasts while a little lower than they had been, were still there same full round anomalies. And her complexion was still relatively unlined, save a few deep creases. Iris tried to imagine what it was that Rose saw when she looked in the mirror that made her cake on makeup the way she did, or want for anything to be different, physically.

"They are the most beautiful shade of icy blue." Rose said wistfully. "Brown is so common, and so is blonde. But you have these beautiful blue eyes, and that red hair."

"Oh, so now it's my hair too?" Iris smiled. Iris pushed at Rose a bit, and she slid off of Iris's lap and walked back over to the bed, getting fully undressed and slipping Iris's black Sunday dress over her head.

"Well I think it's a little snug, but it'll work." Rose said as she turned around. Iris turned to face Rose and let out a little laugh. Rose's breasts were pressed slightly in the bodice, giving her the kind of cleavage Iris had only ever managed with a corset.

"You're going to scandalize my poor dress." Iris laughed. "It'll never be happy on me again."

"Cotton doesn't stretch out." Rose said as she looked down at herself. "I swear Iris, I don't know how you can wear such long shapeless things."

"Well if I was as gorgeous as you Rose, I imagine I would be more invested in how I presented myself. But I've found it's best not to draw attention to what you haven't got." Iris said standing up and walking over to Rose, tugging here and there.

"I need some stockings too." Rose said pushing past Iris and walking over to her dresser.

"By all means." Iris said, sitting on the edge of her bed and taking in the woman before her. Rose dug into the drawer containing Iris's socks and nylons and pulled out a dark pair of knee highs. Rose plopped down on the wooden floor her legs spread before her as she unfolded the hosiery. She looked like a little girl to Iris, completely unaware of the skirt of her dress or the cleanliness of the floor, totally absorbed in the activity before her. Rose looked up at her sweetly.

"Do you have garters?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure." Iris said, getting up and walking over to her nightstand and pulling out the fancy garters she wore on Sundays with her dark hosiery. They were dark as well, and the clip on them was hidden. It'd cost Iris extra for those. She tossed them to Rose who caught them in one hand. She knew that Rose wouldn't appreciate their value, that Rose most likely spent time searching for the garters that would be the most apparent should her dress or skirt hitch up higher than it should. Iris was sure that the only reason Rose was even bothering with the pretense of stockings instead of bare skin was because Justin was a man of God, and Iris knew, Rose loved her enough to not want to offend her sensibilities in such a public way. Rose would save that for dirty jokes whispered under her breath, or candid confessions about the nature of her attraction to Justin in the middle of an empty field a mile or two out of town. That much about each other was understood. What boundaries could be violated, and when and where.

"Could you find me some stockings too?" Iris asked Rose.

"Sure." Rose said, getting up quickly and fishing through Iris's drawers again. She tossed a pair of nude colored stockings at her. Iris unfolded them in front of her. They were long stockings. "I guess you'll need these too." Rose said digging through the drawer with all of Iris's underwear, and tossing a garter belt at her. Iris caught the garter belt and rolled her eyes slightly at Rose. Many years ago, at the Dahlia house they had a long conversation about the decadence of wearing a garter belt. One because it meant you were wearing nylons instead of socks, and two because it meant that you had occasion to wear something as delicate as nylons, frequently enough to need the garter belt. Rose had always added that they were sexier, the biggest preoccupation of Rose, because they were something that a woman wore, not a girl.

Iris hiked up her dress and fastened the belt around her waist and let the dress drop again as she sat down. She rolled each stocking on extending her legs out in front of her. "Legs like a ballerina." Rose said again, sitting on the floor and watching as Iris stood up and rolled the nylons up to her thighs, and fastened the tops of them in the front. "Here, I'll help you get the back." Rose said crawling over to where Iris stood as Iris hiked up her dress in the back. Rose smiled as she ran her hand across Iris's underwear and then down the length of the garter. Iris watched in the mirror as Rose ran a finger along the inside edge of each nylon as she finished. "You still have a great ass Iris." Rose said brightly, giving it a playful smack before Iris could drop the skirt of her dress and step away.

"I don't know what you're talking about Rose." Iris said turning around quickly to face Rose.

"Oh come on Iris, you always had a great figure." Rose said standing up. She walked over to Iris, and hugged her. Iris gave in and opened her arms to Rose. "Why do you think Johnny Lee wanted to go all the way with you?" she giggled, pressing her fingers into Iris's ribs. Iris convulsed immediately, trying to push Rose away. "Still ticklish I see." Rose said smiling, and trying to grab at Iris again. Iris tried to duck out of the way, but Rose managed to tackle her, pushing her down onto the bed. She continued her assault on Iris's ribs. "C'mon Iris, tell me the story about Johnny, did you let him get fresh?" Rose cooed. "Did he touch you here?" Rose said, grabbing quickly at Iris's breast through her dress.

"Rose." Iris screamed out.

"Or maybe here?" Rose said running a hand up Iris's skirt. "C'mon, you can tell me. No one would fault you for it. He was a handsome boy. The handsomest Mintern'd seen." Rose laughed.

"Why Rose, I never." Iris laughed, giving up and throwing her arms back so she was pressed flat on the bed. Rose hovered over her on all fours.

"I have to say Iris. I know I'm a woman and all, but there is something about the way you look underneath me like this. Short of breath and powerless. At the mercy of my whim to tickle you senseless." Rose said through a huge smile, rocking slowly back and forth as she balanced on her hands and knees.

"I don't know what you mean Rose." Iris said, trying to stifle her own laughter.

"Beg me." Rose said getting serious.

"What?" Iris said, still laughing.

"Beg me for mercy. Beg me not to tickle you. I swear to God Iris, I'll do it." Rose said, positioning a hand a few inches away from Iris's ribs.

"Please don't Rose. I can't take it." Iris gasped.

"Just one little tickle?" Rose said moving her hand closer.

"Please no Rose. I'll throw up, I swear to God I will." Iris said more soberly.

"Oh, well." Rose started climbing off of Iris. "In that case. That's not exciting at all. That just makes me feel bad." Rose said, lying down on her back next to Iris. Both women were panting, staring up at the ceiling.

"Listen, I have to go back to Los Angeles. I can stay there if you like, or if you wouldn't mind having me around a little longer, to get some more of my things. If I could I'd really like to stay with you a bit more. I've only just found you, and the house down there is so lonely without my dear departed." Rose said, not looking at Iris, but looking straight up, still panting.

Iris rolled on to her side, looking at Rose more seriously. "Of course I'd love for you to come back and stay longer." Iris paused for a moment, reaching out and placing a hand on Rose's stomach. "You are always welcome at this house. Always."

"Come with me to Los Angeles!" Rose said with a start. "I'd love for you to see my house, and I could show you pictures and you could see how I've been living." Rose turned her head to face Iris, her smiling growing wide with her eyes, again, reminding Iris of a small child.

"I don't know Rose. I have a lot of responsibilities here. I'm not like you, I can't just take time whenever I want it." Iris offered back.

"The Women's Rotary?" Rose said with much less excitement. "C'mon Iris, I refuse to accept that as a priority over visiting with me."

"I know it's not exciting or glamorous, but I've made a commitment." Iris countered sitting up on the edge of her bed. Rose sat up to join her and they sat quietly for a moment. Both kicking their legs and pushing gently into one another. "Okay, let me talk to Sofie and Justin." Iris said like a mother submitting to a child's request for a toy. "But only for a day or two, I really can't abandon my responsibilities much longer than that. I've already let too many things slide." Iris added.

"Lovely." Rose giggled, wrapping an arm around Iris's shoulders. "We're going to have the best time. When you do you think we should leave? Tonight, tomorrow morning, in the afternoon?"

"What's all the excitement about?" Justin said, leaning against the door jamb in his robe.

Both women looked up at him with a start. Iris instinctively dropped her gaze to the floor. Rose didn't notice but rather embraced Iris tighter, reaffirming what they'd just said, as she looked up at Justin. "Iris is going to come with me down to Los Angeles so I can pick up a few of my things."

Justin's face dropped imperceptibly, if you weren't Iris. He looked over at Iris, staring at the floor. Sensing his gaze she looked up at him, mustering as much nonchalance as she could manage. In the back of her mind she knew she'd earned it, but in the front of her mind she was tabulating what she was going to have to do to get his permission. Justin looked back over at Rose. "Well that sounds like a wonderful time. How long will you two be gone?"

"A few days at the most." Rose said, looking over at Iris. "I know that Iris here has her responsibilities. Just long enough for me to show her around a bit. Maybe we could even look up Johnny Lee. I'm sure he'd love to see you Iris." Rose was nearly bouncing with delight.

"I don't know if I'm ready for all of that Rose." Iris offered, more for Justin's benefit than out of actual sentiment. "Perhaps we can stick to photographs and stories this time around."

"Sure, whatever. I'm just so excited. You're going to get to see my house! You're going to see how far I made it Iris." Rose gushed, as she hugged Iris tighter.

"You know that dress looks so much different on you than on my sister." Justin offered from the doorway, looking directly at the cleavage suddenly afforded by the collar of the dress. Justin smiled broadly. "Of course it looks lovely on you both."

"Rose, why don't we get started on breakfast?" Iris said standing up and maneuvering out of Rose's embrace. Rose looked at Iris confused. "The day'll get a head of us before long."

"Alright." Rose said smiling out of courtesy. She stood up and straightened her dress and walked slowly past Justin where he stood at the door. She paused briefly and looked up at him, suspiciously. Justin looked down at her and gave a wink as he straightened his posture. Rose suddenly remembered the intensity of the kiss he'd given her the night before on the porch and she hurried past him into the hall, feeling a blush burning at her cheeks, and a flutter in her stomach. She felt Iris move right behind her, grabbing up her hand and squeezing it playfully before moving ahead of her down the stairs, pulling at her. When the got to the bottom of the stairs Iris stopped and looked up smiling. Rose looked up and saw Justin leaning over the banister, looking entirely too serious. He looked over at Rose and smiled.

"I'll join you ladies shortly." He said. "For some reason I'm famished this morning."

Rose felt Iris's hand tighten around hers for a flicker moment, and it settled across her mood all wrong.


	35. Chapter 35

The day slowly burned away the remaining cool of the previous night's rain, and by lunch the sun was shining across the valley. Everything looked brighter and greener and more alive. Iris and Rose sat together on the porch rocker staring down at the valley and Rose explained to Iris what her home was like, and the minutia of her day to day life down in Los Angeles. Iris listened intently and jealously to the free wheeling lifestyle Rose had finally earned herself, all the while thinking of Jack and trying to picture some sort of domestic bliss with him, until she realized she hadn't heard a word that Rose had said for several minutes. She looked over at Rose and Rose looked at her smiling, and it was evident that Rose didn't really mind that Iris was daydreaming. Rose fell silent and they both leaned back into the rocking chair.

"So when would you like to leave?" Rose asked.

"Perhaps after lunch, that would get us to Los Angeles around dinner time wouldn't it?" Iris said, realizing that she wanted to get out of Mintern before she spent another night with Justin. She worried that already he'd had too much time to think of reasons for her not to go.

"Well then, you'd better get packing." Rose said. "Knowing you that'll take awhile." She smiled.

"I suppose your right. It has been forever since I've taken a trip anywhere, I mean aside from daytrips to Los Angeles with Tommy Dolan." Iris said looking down at the camps and the lines of migrants beginning to form around the soup pots. "Maybe you can take my place today down in New Canaan with Sofie while I pack."

"Where?" Rose asked leaning forward.

"Oh, that's what Justin named it. The little city that's managed to form down there. Sofie and I we go down there and serve soup to the migrants every day at the lunch hour." Iris said turning to Rose. "It helps them to see a smiling face really. I'm sure a face like your would be a welcome treat down there. And who knows, maybe you'll find your next scandal while your there." Iris smiled.

"Some of them are handsome then?" Rose asked, seriously.

"Oh sure." Iris answered quickly. "And I'm sure they'd love you. Very rugged you know."

"Well, know, this does seem delightful." Rose said smiling wide and standing up. "It's almost noon, where is Sofie?" she asked.

Iris stifled a giggle. "I'm sure she's inside getting ready. Why don't you go find her." Iris said. "The next page in your diary could be waiting for you with baited breath as we speak."

Rose smiled coyly at Iris before disappearing into the house and calling after Sofie. Iris laughed to herself again. She tried to think of what she would need for such a trip and a pang went through her psyche wishing it was Jack she was going to go see. She thought again of his hands on her, of the way his voice had sounded. The utter sturdiness of his arms as he'd held her in his lap. The genuine warmth in his eyes when he looked at her sent gooseflesh down her arms, and she instinctively stroked her arms, to smooth the hair back down, and calm the skin. Iris went inside.

As she walked down the halls she heard the sound of Rose and Sofie laughing in the kitchen. Iris headed up the stairs to her room. When she reached the top landing Iris realized that all the sound from downstairs was effectively silenced. It was as if there was a palpable quiet energy on the top floor this morning. Even the light coming in through the windows to the hallway seemed a little dimmer. Iris made her way to her room and left the door open trying to somehow open up the feeling in it more. She got down on her hands and knees and lifted the dust ruffle along the edge of her bed, searching for her suitcase. She spied the edges of it in the dark and pressed herself flat into the floor to reach for it. She managed to get a hold of it's handle and pull it to her into the light, dragging with it a bit of dust, which flew up into her face making her cough and sneeze. Iris sat for a moment on the floor looking at her hands now covered in dust, and the sleeve of her dress, equally dirty.

Iris brushed at herself before giving up on it and lifting the suitcase onto her bed and opening it. She stared at it empty and open and thought again of day trips with Tommy Dolan. She thought of the long days spent worrying about Justin as she sat around the house in Mintern, wondering if she'd made the biggest mistake of her life, if she'd gone too far. Praying with all of her faith that she knew what was best and that Justin did have the strength within him to overcome his grief in order to grow his ministry. Iris's stomach turned remembering the night she'd stood in the hallway of the orphanage holding the lit match. The strangest sense of panic and destiny had moved through her in that moment. When she'd driven home that night she hadn't cried, though she wanted to. It was like the beginning of her life with Justin in St. Paul. A feeling that something was right and terribly wrong all at once. She had done after the fire what she'd done after the first night she'd made love to Justin, she'd put it in a box in her mind that she locked up tightly along with all reasoning and care.

Iris began to pull clothes out of her dresser and toss them into the open suitcase on her bed, suddenly feeling a kind of depression inside of herself. The realization that if Rose understood everything about her she would be horrified. That if Jack had arrived in Mintern a few months earlier he would have come to some thing entirely different about her. It was the loneliness again that she was feeling, that there was no way Jack or Rose could begin to comprehend the things that Iris had done, the things that she knew, the things that weighed heaviest on her. The real hold that Justin had over her. And yet that too had seemed the crux of it, that Justin had in some way willed her to do what she had done, had put the thought in her mind. She wasn't sure how, but she sensed it keenly. She'd never had the thought to do such a thing before or after.

Iris began folding her clothes into her suitcase, finding her senses becoming tense. She was beginning to feel angry, thinking about Justin. It wasn't fair that the whole meaning of her existence, that her, was merely a function of Justin, that he could never understand how that felt. She thought again of that first night in Mintern as she laid there in stunned silence as he kissed her, as his hands searched her body out, as he made love to her. She thought of St. Paul. It was she who was older and yet he had managed to take advantage of her, had used his size against her, even now was a power over her. Iris began to feel hot, her cheeks were burning with anger thinking of the way Justin had led her to believe that he was going to sacrifice her to the masses. Iris's pride was emerging, and it was making it hard to breathe. She tried to calm herself. She walked over to her window and pressed her cheek to the glass letting it cool her skin. She saw Sofie and Rose walking down to the camps, and Iris thought of the good time she would have being free with Rose in a matter of an hour or two and it began to soothe her.

Iris smiled to herself thinking of the freedom she would have to call Jack from Rose's house. Jack might even be able to visit her. Justin would have no way of knowing.

"What was all that business about calling you Angel last night?" Justin's voice broke through the pensive quiet of Iris's room. Iris caught herself tensing up at the violation. She felt defeated, as though he could read her thoughts. Iris turned around. Justin was standing in the doorway, wearing his cassock already for the afternoon service. He stepped into her room and shut the door behind him.

"I don't know." Iris said, turning back to look out the window again, watching Rose and Sofie disappear down into the camps.

"I cried out for you, you called me a sweet name. What does it matter?" Iris said dropping her head, wanting this conversation to end as quickly as possible. Justin was next to her now, and he put his hands on her shoulders. "You know I don't like to talk about this sort of thing Justin." She added, trying to deflect him with habit. Justin turned her around so she was forced to look him square in the eye.

"Iris." He said and caught her in his gaze, not letting her look away. Iris suddenly felt a nest of hummingbirds inside of her. "You won't see him will you?" he asked plainly. His eyes moved back and forth quickly across her face, the way Jack might, but there was a ferocity underlying his searching. Iris felt the weight of his power so strongly she couldn't bring herself to give voice to words, she couldn't seem to muster the will to put sound to her speech. So she just nodded her head back and forth briefly, without breaking away from his stare. "Say it. I want to hear you say the words." Justin said stepping away from her.

Iris turned and moved to the bed sitting down on it and looking up at him. "I promise, I won't see him." Iris finally managed to push out.

"Good." Justin said. He approached Iris and held out a hand to her. She reached out and he pulled her up and into him. He embraced her tightly, burying his head in her neck for a long moment. "I want to be together before you go." He whispered into her ear. Justin pulled away from her and Iris felt the strange suppressing thing again, that made words difficult. Iris turned away from Justin to look at her bed, but he pulled her back so she was facing him. "No, not in here." He said, walking toward the door and pulling her by the arm. Iris followed meekly as Justin opened her door and walked them across the hall to his room. "Sofie already cleaned my room today." He explained almost casually as he pulled her into his room and slammed his door shut.



Iris sat on the edge of Justin's bed, trying to put her garters back on, she let out a faint gasp as her finger brushed across a deep bite mark on her inner thigh. She held up her hand and there were traces of blood on her fingertips. Iris didn't say anything she just continued to get dressed. When she stood up to put her dress back on she caught sight of herself in Justin's mirror, and saw there were several more bite marks across her stomach and chest, and fresh bleeding scratched across the handprints bruised into her ribs from the previous evening. Iris looked over at Justin, buttoning his cassock back up. He looked at her unapologetically and handed her dress to her. "Forgive me dear, but I need some kind of insurance that you'll keep your clothes on while you're away. Your word just isn't worth very much to me at the moment."

Pride grabbed at Iris's throat again and she felt tears of rage burning at the rims of her eyes. Iris quickly brought her dress over her head and began smoothing it out. She looked at herself in the mirror and began re-pinning her hair. Justin moved to her side, embracing her as she worked at her hair, trying to continue on as if he wasn't there. "You really hurt me." She finally said as he looked at her in the mirror.

"Well it seems that's going around." He said smugly before abruptly pushing her away. Justin moved to the door and opened it with one arm, grabbing her with the other and pushing her into the hall. "Now I have to gather myself for the afternoon service." He said quickly shutting his door again. Leaving Iris standing half dressed in the hall. Iris moved into her bedroom and slammed the door as hard as she could. She saw a bottle of perfume on the vanity that Justin had bought for her the previous Christmas. She grabbed it up quickly and opened her door. She took aim at Justin's closed door and threw it as hard as she could.

She felt a great relief as she watched the glass bottle explode on the lacquered surface of Justin's bedroom door and fall to the floor. Justin's door opened suddenly and he leaned out violently, looking around the door jamb to determine what exactly had been thrown. Justin looked up at Iris who was standing in her doorway heaving. "Don't even start this with me Iris, do you really want to see which of your treasures I can break?"


	36. Chapter 36

The fabric of Iris's dress was rubbing against her skin, agitating the abrasions that covered most of her torso and upper thighs. As the car bounced along the roadway the stinging of each wound strung together into a tedious aching. Iris shifted in her seat trying to alleviate however briefly a cycle that seemed destined to continue for the next four hours. "How long of a drive is it to Los Angeles again?" Iris asked.

"Oh, about that," Rose said, turning to Iris briefly and then returning her gaze to the road, "we're not actually going to Los Angeles." Rose paused for a moment, sneaking another glance at Iris in the periphery of her vision. "I hope you're not mad, but we're going to San Francisco. I just said that stuff about Los Angeles to keep Justin from getting his feathers ruffed."

Iris felt a jolt of fear moved through her body, imagining Jack wanting to hold her or make love to her. She shifted again in her seat. "I don't know if this is such a good idea Rose." Iris said, "I don't know if I'm really prepared to see Jack right now."

"Nonsense, Iris." Rose said, shifting gears aggressively. "You're going to see Jack, you're going to meet Caleb, you're going to let me buy you a pretty dress in the city and you are going to have a wonderful time."

Iris sunk back into her seat, resigned to the fact that there was no way of explaining to Rose, or anyone else, for that matter what particular difficulties she was foreseeing. She rubbed at her inner thigh absently, though it hurt, trying to think of what excuses she could use to keep Jack from seeing what Justin had done do her body. Iris smiled to herself as she looked out the window of the car at the rushing scenery. _Let alone my mind_, she thought. "Well, if you insist Rose, then I suppose I'll have to try." Iris said, looking over at Rose and offering up a decent impression of a smile.

"I don't understand you Iris." Rose said, "For a woman in love you're awfully forlorn most of the time."

"Don't worry, It'll change once I see Jack." Iris said, more to herself than to Rose. "Whenever I get around him I get this warm feeling inside and I can't stop smiling." Iris smiled as she said this, allowing herself to bask in the memory of Jack's smile.

"I think I like this better than the last time I saw you in love." Rose said, her tone lowering to something more serious. "I don't know why you don't want to tell me about now, after all this time, but who ever he was, whatever it was, it weighed on you."

"I was young and scared." Iris said without thinking.

"Weren't we all?" Rose said, settling back into her own seat to match Iris's posture.

"Love is supposed to be this great thing," Iris said, "but when I think about it, all of the worst anxieties I've ever felt, all of the saddest tears came from love."

"You can't let yourself think that way too much Iris." Rose said, "Think about all of your greatest joys in the world, most likely they happened when you were in love too."

Iris thought about this for a moment. She recalled the image of Jack hovering above her trying to unbuckle his pants while she lay beneath him. Iris had felt like something of a fairy as they made love in the fortress she'd built with Christopher. The memory of the sun's warmth on her skin, and the feel of Jack inside of her that afternoon overtook the excruciating sensation of prickling cuts that was staking claim to her body at the moment. "How long do you think before we get there?" Iris asked.

"San Francisco is a much shorter drive," Rose said, "maybe two hours."

"Does Jack know we're coming?" Iris asked, sitting up in her seat and focusing intently on the road before them, as though it might bring them to their destination sooner.

"He wasn't expecting me for a few more days." Rose said smiling, "But you know how I love to stir things up a bit."

"That's why I like to be around you Rose." Iris said, "You're able to do the things I wish I could."

"C'mon." Rose interrupted, "Tell me who that first boy was back in Mintern."

Iris looked at Rose for a long moment, watching the twinkle in Rose's eye grow at the prospect that she was going to get some kind of an answer. Iris let out a long sigh. "Just some boy." Iris said, looking out of the passenger window again. After a moment Iris turned her head to face Rose again, to watch her profile as she drove on. "Maybe someday I can tell you about it, but not today."

"Did Justin know about it?" Rose asked.

"Yes, yes he did." Iris said staring out at the road again.

"What did he think?" Rose said falling into a more conversational tone.

"We didn't really talk about it." Iris said. "It's still uncomfortable for me Rose. I'd rather not think about it before seeing Jack. I want to be happy for him."

"You're right." Rose said, "I'm sorry. I'm just so, you're still such a mystery to me. I'll stop now."

"It's alright Rose." Iris said, reaching out a hand and resting it on Rose's thigh, "I want to know all about you too. In time, I think."



Iris stood in front of Jack's apartment building holding her suitcase and watching Rose drive off. Iris had insisted to Rose that showing up on someone's doorstep out of the blue wasn't quite her style, but Rose had insisted that Iris didn't have a style when it came to romance. Iris had agreed by the time that they arrived at his door that Rose's presence at such a reunion would probably be a bit awkward, though Iris wouldn't mind Rose's presence for anything. Iris had never been to San Francisco before; she turned a full circle taking in the buildings that shot straight up into the sky, with their ornate moldings and intricate carved pieces. The scenery reminded her a bit of St. Paul as far a cities go, but somehow it was less dreary, the buildings seemed prettier, more cared for.

Iris walked up the steps to Jack's door, and stood under the eave admiring the tall flowering tree that grew up from the sidewalk and hung its branches over a window on the second floor. Iris pushed the door bell and waited, staring at her reflection in the glass of Jack's front door. "Iris?"

Iris turned around quickly and saw Jack standing at the foot of the steps behind her. He was wearing a light blue sweater and holding a leash. Iris followed the lead with her eyes and saw that he was walking a very reserved cocker spaniel.

"Hi." Iris said, leaving her suitcase on the porch and walking down the steps to greet him. They stood in front of each other for a moment before they fell into a tight hug. Iris involuntarily let out a sigh of pain as Jack's arms squeezed across the fresh scratches down her back. They stepped back from the hug and stood taking each other in. Jack smiled at Iris and she felt a blush creeping up to her cheeks. She looked away and Jack grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her. Iris melted into the kiss letting Jack pull her closer to him, the leash around his hands quickly became tangled around the two of them and they almost toppled over.

"I thought you were taking my dog for a walk Jack?" A rasping voice called out from above them. Jack and Iris both looked up and saw an elderly woman leaning out of the second story window of the neighboring building.

"I did Mrs. Weatherby." Jack said, "I was just about to ring your door."

"I'll be down in a minute." The woman called back and disappearing into her window.

"Here." Jack said, handing Iris his house key, "Why don't you go ahead and let yourself in while I talk to Mrs. Weatherby for a minute."

Iris took the key from Jack and headed up the stairs. She opened his door and turned to get her suitcase. She stopped and watched for a minute as Jack handed off the leash to the diminutive old woman. He pulled her in close and kissed her on the forehead and she smacked him on the chest playfully before turning to spy a look at Iris. Iris smiled back at the woman and quickly grabbed her suitcase and stepped into Jack's apartment.

Iris left her suitcase in the entry way and the door ajar as she moved slowly down the hall. Jack's apartment was huge and the wood floors echoed her every step as she took in the framed pictures lining the walls. Men and women in ornate dresses and rich suits stared back at her from ottomans, or posed in front of painted backdrops of lakeshores in springtime. Iris caught herself counting the jewels on the arms of one of the women looking stoically at the camera.

"Aunt Ella." Jack said behind her.

"What?" Iris said.

"That is my Aunt Ella." Jack said, "That picture was taken when she was crowned Ms. Virginia I believe."

Iris nodded her head and continued to look around her.

"There's even more at the end of this hall, actual rooms, and upstairs, a bedroom and an office." Jack said laughing softly.

"I want to see all of it." Iris said walking quickly to the end of the hall into the living room. Iris stopped and looked back down the hall at Jack. "Your house is absolutely immaculate Jack." She said, before disappearing from view.

Jack closed the front door and headed into the front room. Iris was standing in front of his bookshelves reading the titles. She turned to face him, "I see you've got a copy of The Stranger next to your arm chair." She said, "Doing a little light reading?"

Jack smiled at her a blush coming to his cheeks. "I think you're the most handsome creature I've ever seen Jack." Iris said, walking over to him.

"I'm so happy that you're here." He said. "I've imagined this moment many times since we first met." Jack reached out a hand and stroked Iris's cheek. "But now that you're here I don't even know what to do with you."

Iris clasped his hand and pulled him with her toward the couch. "Why don't we have a seat?" she said, sitting down and pulling him down next to her. Iris immediately cuddled into Jack and he leaned back into the couch to accommodate her, stroking her back through her dress as she buried her face in his sweater. "I just want to stay like this for awhile if it's alright." Iris mumbled through the light blue fabric of Jack's sweater.

"Anything you want Angel." Jack said as he continued to stroke her back softly, and his breathing slowed.

They sat that way on the couch in silence until the light faded out completely and they were in total darkness in his living room. Iris crawled up his chest and began to kiss him. Jack moved his hands into her hair and pulled her onto his lap. They kissed sweetly in the dark, gasping occasionally into each other's mouths. Eventually they became so lost in each other's kisses that they fell onto the floor. "Let's go upstairs." Jack whispered into Iris's ear as he moved a hand up to her breast.

An electric charge went through Iris's body and she found herself arching up into him. Jack responded quickly by dropping his head to her collar bone and trailing kisses along the elegant protrusion of bone. Iris moaned underneath him and ran her fingers through his hair. "I can't." she said.

"What?" Jack said, lifting his head. "What's wrong?"

"I just, I can't right now." Iris said. She didn't want to lie, so she hoped a plaintive statement of fact would do the trick.

Iris felt Jack's body move away from hers and she reached out to pull him back. She heard a fumbling and suddenly the room was flooded with light. Iris squinted into the dim lamp for a moment before opening her eyes. Iris sat up looked at Jack unsure of what to say or how to hold her expression. Jack was giving her the interrogation stare and Iris dropped her head quickly. "Please don't look at me that way Jack." Iris said as she fidgeted with the hem of her dress. "It kills me inside, and I don't want to lie to you, but please let me just say no, and have that be that." Iris said, looking up at him.

Jack looked at her longer, probing her even further with his stare. "Don't you want to be with me?" Jack finally said, "We were both kissing the same person just now weren't we, here in this room, right there on the floor where you're sitting? Did I miss something?"

Iris stood up and straightened her dress a bit and sat back down on the couch. "Yes, I want you Jack. I just can't right now." Iris said closing her eyes and leaning back. Iris felt the weight of Jack's body as he moved to sit next to her on the couch.

"Is it because we're not married?" Jack asked.

Iris opened her eyes to look at Jack. "Is that an attempt at humor Jack?" Iris said.

Jack smiled at her, "Yes and no."

"What do you mean yes and no?" Iris turned into him.

"I know that's important to you." He said, reached behind her head and pulling out her hair pin. He raked his fingers through her hair so it fell down around her face.

"Oh, you do?" Iris said smirking at him. "What is this talk of marriage suddenly Jack?"

"I want to be with you." He said running a finger along the collar of her shirt. "I'll do anything to be with you."

"You sound like schoolboy." Iris said.

"On the contrary, Iris," Jack said, looking her in eye, "I want to marry you. I want you to be my wife. I want you to live with me here. I don't want to spend another day apart from you."

Iris pulled away from him, and drew into herself. "You don't even really know me Jack." She said, nodding her head to herself, "You don't know what you're saying.'

"Yes, yes I do." Jack said moving closer to Iris. "Let's get married. Whatever it is, whatever secrets you think you have, whatever it is you think I won't understand. There is nothing that could change the way that I feel about you."

"That's a cruel thing to tell a woman." Iris said, drawing her features into a scowl. "You shouldn't say things like that."

"Iris," Jack said grabbing Iris's face in his hands. "What is it? Who was it that told you that you couldn't be happy?"

Tears began streaming down Iris's face. "Angel, what is it? Just tell me." Jack said wiping at the tears as they flowed.

Iris began sobbing in fits. She pulled away from Jack and slid down to the floor, crouching down and sobbing in great heaves. Iris looked up at him, her features trembling. "I do love you Jack." She said before letting out two more sobs. She wiped at her eyes with her hands. "I really do. I want to be with you more than anything."

"Then be with me." Jack said moving down to the floor and hugging her hard. Iris buried her head in Jack's neck and began kissing him again. Jack pulled away. "I don't understand."

"Just kiss me Jack." Iris said.

"Let's at least go upstairs." Jack said standing up and reaching out a hand to Iris and pulling her up.

"I can't Jack." Iris said bringing a hand up to her mouth.

"Just let me hold you," Jack said pulling Iris toward the stairs.

Iris let him lead her up the stairs to his bedroom. He went in ahead of her to turn on the lights, but Iris pulled at him. "No Jack, no lights."

"Why?" he asked pulling her into the dark room.

"I just don't want to be seen right now." She said, her voice breaking into fresh tears.

"Okay," Jack said, "No lights, that's fine."

Jack led Iris to the bed and pulled back the covers motioning for her to sit. Iris sat down slowly watched as Jack dropped to his knees in front of her. "Can I at least take your shoes off?" he asked. Iris offered up her feet and he quickly slipped her shoes off. Jack looked up at Iris from between her legs.

"Kiss me Jack." She said as she extended her arms out to him, Jack rose up between her thighs and kissed her forcefully, pushing her back onto the bed.


	37. Chapter 37

Jack wasn't sure at first. He kept staring down the back of Iris's dress as she slept next to him. There was something on Iris's back, when she had shifted slightly as he cuddled into her upon waking, her dress had gapped away from her body briefly and he was sure he'd seen scratches. Deep ones. Jack brought a finger up to the neck of Iris's dress and carefully pulled the fabric away from her body. He slowly leaned into her to get a better look in the morning light filtering into the room.

Jack's stomach turned immediately when he recognized that there were indeed four long scratches down her back, the perfect span of fingers. The image of the kind of position Iris would have been in relationship to the person administering them to her flashed in Jack's mind and his heart sank in his chest. Jack rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

Iris stirred next to him, rolling onto her back as well. Jack turned to look at her as she let out a whimper and grimaced briefly in her dreams. Jack rolled over again slowly, and this time lifted the front collar of Iris's dress and winced himself as he took in the dark mottled imprints of teeth across her freckled flesh, and even more scratches. Normally Jack would have found his behavior perverse and in this moment he laughed to himself at the utter irony of how defeated he felt.

The image of Iris's knees flashed in him mind again, then the image of Iris naked underneath him in the dark of the hotel, her eyes wide with bewilderment as he hovered over her asking her why she'd bit him. Jack reached over to wake Iris up, but stopped himself just before he grabbed hold of her arm. He watched her eyes moving under their closed lids, he took in the spread of her red hair fanned out across his pillows, and his stomach turned again.

Jack slipped out of the bed quietly and crept downstairs to the bathroom. He shut the door and looked it, and stood in the quiet for a moment, listening for the sounds of Iris moving on the bed just over his head. It was quiet. Jack splashed some water on his face and took in his reflection dried his skin. This was his ritual. He looked at himself ruefully.

"She's cheating on you man." He said to his reflection. "No, worse yet. She's fucking leaving you buddy." Jack lifted his eyebrows. "That's why she didn't want to fuck you last night; she came to give you the kiss off." Jack looked down at the sink trying to see down into the drain. A new thought came to him and he snapped up to regard his reflection again.

"She came up here so you wouldn't go down there."

"No, no, no." Jack began pacing in the small room. He looked at his reflection again. "Did you see what he did to her? She doesn't like that shit man. She told me, I saw it in her eyes." New thoughts swirled into Jack's thinking. He heard a little girl laughing outside and the sound of a father admonishing her. "Didn't I?" he asked himself as he looked back in the mirror.

Jack sat down on the edge of his tub and ran his hand through his hair. "Maybe she lied. She didn't want to scare you off." Jack dropped his head down; imagining again Iris in the various naked positions of the kind of fucking it would require to leave those kinds of marks behind.

Jack stood up again. "So she went and found someone who could give her what she wanted." He said to himself as he turned away from the mirror to face the back wall. He brought up a hand to smack it, but stopped short. "No, no. She's not like that, you've seen that before." Jack turned again to face himself in the mirror. "Something's going on Jack. You have to find out what it is. She's not gonna tell you." He said as he moved closer to the mirror so he was staring right at himself, getting in his own face.

"She loves you man. You saw that shit in her eyes. She needs you." Jack pulled away from his reflection and looked up at the ceiling again. As if on cue he heard the faint squeak of bed springs following by the dull percussion of Iris's feet as she climbed out of bed. Jack looked back at his reflection again. "Fuck being a gentleman man." He scolded himself. "She wants you to find out." He cast another look at himself.

"Are you gonna let some one do that to her? Are you gonna let her do that to herself?" Jack began pacing again. "It's just sex right?" he muttered under his breath as he listened to the sound of Iris descending the stairs. "You love this woman." He said looking up at his reflection again. He looked himself right in the eye, trying to see into his own soul. "I'm gonna fucking kill him."

"Jack."

Jack quickly opened the door smiling. Iris turned to him and smiled. Her feet were bare and her hair was flying off in three different directions. "Morning Angel." He said, stepping into the hall and pulling her to him with one hand. He placed a kiss on the top of her head, and held her to him for a moment. Iris slid her hands around his waist, but didn't try to pull away. Jack let his hand fall down around her waist.

"I'm sorry about last night." Iris said trying to look up at him.

"Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong." Jack said smiling down at her. "Why don't I go down to the corner coffee shop and get us some breakfast and bring it back here and you can get dressed."

"Why don't I just make you something?" Iris said pulling away from him. "I'm told I'm a pretty good cook."

"I don't want you to lift a finger while you're here Iris." Jack said. "This is how we do things in the City." He said leaning down and kissing her on the cheek. "There are fresh towels in the bathroom already; I just did the laundry, so you're in luck."

"Okay." Iris said moving toward the bathroom. Jack sprinted up the stairs and grabbed his sweater off of the floor. He threw it on quickly and hurried back down the stairs.

"Hey." Iris said as he was reaching for the door knob.

"What?" Jack said, turning around.

"You're coming right back right?" she said, holding a fresh towel to her like a little girl cradling a doll.

"Of course Angel, right back." Jack said before turning around and heading out the door.

Jack bounded the two blocks down to the diner, rushed through the front doors and a few face looked up from their plates to regard him. Jack craned his neck to get a view of the entire restaurant until he saw the man he was looking for. Jack smiled and walked briskly to the booth in the far corner of the coffee shop.

An overweight man with a bright pink complexion, emphasized by his stark white hair was tucked neatly into the booth. His flatware and coffee mug were arranged symmetrically in front of him as he worked at a crossword puzzle. The rest of the newspaper was stacked neatly on the inside of the table. Jack slid into seat across from him and set his hands down on the table.

"I need your help." He said.

The man looked up and his face immediately beamed. "Jack."

"Remember that situation I told you about?" Jack said, already laughing.

"You took her to bed anyway?" the man said without betraying much surprise in his features.

"You're a good friend Bruce." Jack smiled. "It was good advice you gave me, but now I need a favor."

"Didn't turn out the way you thought it would huh?" Bruce said smiling and taking a sip of his coffee.

"She's the toughest nut I've ever tried to crack, but I know you've cracked tougher." Jack said smiling.

"You don't have to blow smoke up my ass Jack." Bruce said setting his cup of coffee down. "It's no secret I'm a better detective than you."

"I need your kind of expertise right now." Jack said. "Give me that pen." Jack said. Bruce handed it over and Jack scribbled something out on the napkin in front of him. "Here." He said, handing the napkin over to the older man. "This is all you need to know." Jack slipped back out of the booth. "I gotta go, she's at my place right now. I'm supposed to be getting us breakfast."

Bruce laughed. "Oh, Jack. I thought you like her for being the mom?"

Jack stared out the plate glass window in front of them. "I did like her for being the mom, then I just liked her." Jack looked down at Bruce again, "Funny how that happens. Never thought it would."

"I never thought it would either, always thought you were too detached." Bruce said before returning to his crossword. "Go on." Bruce waved at Jack without looking up. "I'll have something for you in the next few days. Enjoy it while you can."

Jack turned and headed for the cash register, winking at the waitress already waiting with a ticket for him to order.


	38. Chapter 38

Iris stared at herself in the mirror, getting lost in the lines and contours of her complexion. She remembered a thousand other moments like this one, over time, staring into a mirror, puzzling at the image in it. Iris could still recall with perfect clarity the way she'd looked to herself at twelve and twenty, and especially that day when she was twenty-four; and she'd spent most of the free hours of that particular day looking for some subtle change her features, anything that might give away the fact that she'd lost her virginity.

"Iris."

Iris jumped and snapped her head quickly to the right. Jack was standing in the door way holding two cardboard boxes that smelled distinctly of breakfast. "You scared me." Iris said. She walked over to him, smiling.

"What were you thinking about?" Jack asked.

"Where did it go to?" Iris said shrugging her shoulders and pushing past Jack into the hallway. She looked over her shoulder at him and smirked. It conjured the memory of Iris bent slightly over her croquet ball as she positioned her mallet for the strike in the hot sun. Jack smiled and followed Iris into the dining room.

"The aristocracy." Jack said as Iris took a seat. Jack stared at her for a moment as she lifted the lid off one of the boxes. The entire platter was resting inside the cardboard service tray, as well as the diner flatware. Iris looked up at him. "They know me." Jack said as he took a seat next to her at the table.

"That was an awful lot of trouble for bacon and eggs." Iris said, lifting her plate out of the shallow box and placing on the place mat in front of her.

"Well." Jack said lifting the lid off of his own box and putting the plate before him. "Food always tastes better when someone else makes it."

"With all your gallantry lately, I'm a little surprised you would deny me the right to cook for you." Iris said, as she lifted her fork.

"Lately?" Jack said smiling. "Aren't we going to say grace or something?"

"I imagine that we would have to say grace over more than our food." Iris said, eying Jack and then her fork. "In for a dime, in for a dollar." She smiled.

"The surprises are always pleasant with you Iris." Jack said grabbing a piece of bacon from his plated and biting off a piece.

"God knows I'm grateful." Iris said, smiling at Jack then quickly dropping her gaze. It kindled hope in Jack as he sat next to her memorizing the exact dimensions of her profile as she sat at his dining room table, in case he might not get to see it again. "What?" Iris said, setting her fork down and turning in her chair to look at Jack.

"You're beautiful." Jack said, turning in his chair so he was facing her directly. "And why are you so far away from me?" he pulled at the seat of her chair suddenly bringing her knees to rest between his legs , along the side of his chair. Iris giggled. "There that's much better."

"You must be going blind." Iris said as she reached over to Jack's plate and grabbed up a piece of his bacon.

"That's mine." Jack said quickly grabbing it out of Iris's hand.

"You pulled me all the way over here, and now I can't reach my plate, it's all the way behind me." Iris said laughing.

"Allow me then." Jack said reaching for Iris's plate behind her on the table, forcing them into the intertwined position of an embrace. Jack dropped his head into Iris's neck and kissed her there. "Excuse me." Jack whispered into her ear.

"For what?" Iris gasped as Jack kissed again along her neck.

"My manners." Jack said more loudly, grabbing Iris's legs where they bent at the knees and pulling her up onto his lap. "I never even offered you a seat."

Iris just gasped again as Jack began to kiss along the exposed flesh left behind by the bodice of her dress. She brought her arms around his neck and pulled her self closer. Jack could detect the slight rock of Iris's hips on his lap and he found himself pushing up her skirt and running his fingers under the clasps of her garter belt. Iris's hands descended over his softly. "No Jack." She whispered into his ear. Jack obliged

Moving a hand around the small of her back and moving the other up trace the contours of her right breast. Iris looked down at him seriously and Jack looked up at her matching the solemnity of her features with his own.

"Rose called." Iris said watching his eyes keenly. "We're supposed to meet her in less than an hour."

Jack pulled at the collar of Iris's dress, bringing her face to his and kissed her with more force than he had before. Iris responded pushing her whole body into him and returning the kiss. She pulled away from him panting. Jack watched the rise and fall of her chest, trying not to think of the bite marks he knew to be on the other side of the thin fabric of Iris's dress.

Iris smiled down at him, and opened her mouth to say something, and then crashed into him again, kissing him clumsily, and running her hands down the front of his sweater. Jack grabbed one of her hands and pressed it into his lap. Iris dropped her head down to Jack's neck, kissing along his jugular as her hands unbuttoned his pants. Jack let out a sigh. Iris slid off of Jack's lap and onto her knees in front of him.



Jack stood in the doorway of the kitchen looking into the living room. Iris was sitting on the couch on the far side of the room in the light of the window holding a small mirror up to her face and putting on lipstick. The sight of Iris's mouth reminded him of where her mouth had just been and a second wave of arousal passed over him, he felt lightheaded.

"What Jack?" Iris said without looking away from the mirror.

"I'm just not used to having someone else in my house." Jack said, "I forgot about the little things you get when you share a room with someone."

"You really liked being married didn't you?" Iris said, putting her mirror down and turning in her chair to face Jack.

"Yeah, I did." Jack said walking over to her and taking as seat next to her on the couch. "You like the view?" Jack said pointing out the window which faced the wall of the neighboring building.

Iris laughed. "I don't know if I could get used to how close everything is here." She said looking out the window. "Everything seems stacked on top of itself here."

"That's because it is." Jack said. He moved closer to her as he took in the shape of her profile in the light. She licked her lips and swallowed. Jack stored away the image of Iris's throat in the sun light.

"You keep staring at me Jack." Iris said, still looking out the window.

"I can't help it." He said. "You have that lipstick on, and it keeps pulling my eyes there, and then I start thinking about other places your mouth has been."

Iris turned and smiled at him. "Is that how men really think all the time?"

"Yes." Jack said smiling and pulling her close to him. "Surely that fact hasn't escaped you." Jack held Iris in his arms and looked out the window at the blank wall and let his imagination paint images of domestic bliss with Iris there. Jack felt tired.

"What was your favorite part about being married?" Iris asked.

"I don't know. I've never really thought about it before." Jack said; stroking her arms and running through a list of memories of the life he had with Maddy. Jack rarely realized how far away from who he was now, that life with her had become. His stomach sank a little bit. Jack imagined for a moment Iris with her mystery lover, crying out in the dark of a bedroom; and his stomach sank further. Iris absently ran her hand across Jack's stomach just above his belt and tightened her grip around him, and Jack thought of Iris on her knees before him at the dining room table. Jack thought about Maddy, trying to recall the sound of her voice, but the only memory that came to him as he held Iris was a random night some random number of years into their relationship, when he'd woken up as Maddy had slipped into bed next to him.

"I think I used to like it when I went to bed before Maddy did, and Maddy would crawl into bed after I'd gone to sleep." Jack said. "It would always wake me a little bit, but it was a comforting feeling."

"It's funny the things that you remember about someone after they're gone." Iris said. "I only have one real memory of my mother. I'm a little girl and Justin is asleep next to me in bed, and my mother leans into the room and I can't really make out her face because the light from the room behind her is so bright. But I can still hear her voice telling me goodnight." Iris pulled away from Jack and turned to face him. She smiled as she looked him up and down. "I think that's the most beautiful sound I've heard in this world." Iris's eyes welled up and she brushed at the forming tears quickly with her thumbs. "It's funny, but my mother was a little over half my age when she died. It's seems strange to me that I'm older than my mother ever was, or thinking back on who I was a twenty-four, and trying to imagine having two children."

"That must have been very difficult." Jack said.

"You know." Iris said, relaxing her posture and looking up at him with an expression of wonder. "There's something about the mother. It's, well I lost my father too, but there's something about when the mother goes, that's very...I don't think I've ever gotten over it. It feels like there's always a little bit of melancholy inside of me, that I carry with me through the world."

"I feel the same way about Maddy." Jack said. "I've moved on with my life and all that, but I think there's some part of me that always remembers that loss. That knows that it can happen at any time. I think it's changed me."

"But you want to get married again?" Iris said looking away and fidgeting with the hem of her dress.

"I think it's cute the way you fidget like a little girl when you're uncomfortable." Jack said. Iris stilled her hands. Jack laughed. "Angel, I like it."

Iris looked up at him. "You know, you're the only person who's ever had a pet name for me."

"I imagine they think you would feel put off by it." Jack said.

"Why is that?"

"Iris, don't act as if you aren't aware of the kind of person you present yourself to be." Jack said, grabbing her hands in his and squeezing them. "It's much too clever and calculated."

"Well obviously not that clever Jack." Iris smiled, "You've got me figured out."

"I'm very good at what I do Iris." Jack said.

"That's what I worry about Jack." Iris said eying the clock over the fireplace.

"What do you mean?" Jack said, turning his attention to the clock.

"We should leave if we're going to meet Rose and Caleb in time." Iris said standing up. She looked down at Jack and lifted her eyebrows. Jack decided to let it slide.

"Yeah, sure." He said as he stood up.



Iris cuddled into her coat and wrapped her arm around Jack tighter as they walked to the diner. Leaves were beginning to flutter down from the trees and skate across the pavement in gusts. As they stood at a street corner waiting to cross Jack slide his hand down to hers and slid his fingers between hers slowly; letting his fingertips ease over the joints of her knuckles and the soft of their palms to press together lightly. Jack brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it. As they crossed the street he brought his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him, loosening his hold on her again as they reached the other side.

"That's where we're going, right there." Jack said, pointing to the diner at the end of the block on the corner.

Iris looked up at the sky. "The weather is so strange here." Iris said, "It's warm and beautiful and the next moment it's cold and windy and overcast."

"Wait until you see the fog." Jack said looking down at her.

"If I decide to stick around that long." Iris said.

Jack couldn't help the weight that dropped in his stomach.

"I'm just kidding Jack." Iris said quickly squeezing his arm.

"I know." Jack said, frowning.

"You looked like I'd just told you your dog died." Iris said smiling up at him. They stopped at another street corner, waiting for the traffic to slow. Iris thought she could make out Rose's distinct shape sitting at one of the booths, through the large plate glass windows of the diner. Iris looked up at Jack, who was watching the cars go by. She remembered the feel of him naked and pressing into her, and the way he looked at her, so full of desire, compared to the way he looked at everyone else, and it made her cheeks flush. "It doesn't feel like I thought it would." She said, looking toward the diner again.

"What?" Jack said, as he slid his hand into hers again. He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it again.

"Being in love." She said without shifting her focus.

Jack held her hand to his mouth a little longer and gave it another kiss.

The traffic came to a stop at the light and Jack wrapped his arm around her shoulder again as they stepped into the street. There was a strange feeling moving through him, and intense attraction and desire, and another hook of anger over her other lover, and weight of sadness left over from Maddy, and a tension of fear at what Bruce might find out about Iris. Jack decided she was right, this wasn't at all how he'd thought it would feel, but he knew he was in love none the less, he couldn't remember the last time he'd had that much of a feeling about anything.


	39. Chapter 39

Rose and Caleb slid out of there booth and stood to greet Jack and Iris as they approached the table. Caleb was a tall man, almost as tall as Jack, and he had a the rugged good looks of a boxer, but he had the same creamy complexion of his mother, though a shade or two darker, and when he smiled his eyes twinkled in the kind of angelic way of her as well.

"Iris! Jack!" Rose said, stepping forward and grabbing Iris in a tight embrace, then sliding her arms away from Iris's shoulders and snaking them around Jack's. Jack slid his arms down around Rose's waist as squeezed her and then pulled away from her slightly and moved a hand up to her head, pulling her face close to him and kissing her on the cheek.

Rose stepped back and her cheeks were slightly flushed. She cupped her cheek, and looked form Jack to Iris. Iris smiled at Rose, and shot a look at Caleb. Caleb stepped forward quickly extending his hand to Iris.

"I'm Caleb."

Iris quickly took his hand. "I'm Iris."

Iris looked over at Rose. "You do good work Rose. He's very handsome."

"Thank you." Caleb said.

Iris looked over at him and winked. "You're welcome."

"Oh my, Jack's already rubbing off on you." Rose said, "I don't think I've ever seen you wink."

Iris felt a twinge of embarrassment. She looked over at Jack and he was smiling down at her. Her heart fluttered and she smiled back at him.

They took their seats in the booth, Jack and Iris sitting across from Rose and Caleb.

"So what time are you two leaving today?" Jack asked. "I want to know how much longer I have to convince Iris that she'd much happier in San Francisco than Mintern."

Iris's stomach turned and she looked over at Caleb. She smiled weakly.

"You mean you haven't convinced her yet?" Rose said looking at Iris inquisitively. "I can assure you that there is nothing there that isn't her tenfold." Rose turned her attention back to Jack. "Justin took me on a date around the city," she rolled her eyes dismissively, "if you can call it a city, and I was amazed I'd forgotten how utterly dull the place was."

Jack leaned forward. "You went on a date with Justin Crowe?"

Rose leaned back into the booth, narrowing her eyes over a smirking smile. "Yes, I did. And I just bet you're dying to know what happened." Rose leaned forward quickly, nearly jumping, and smiled her genuine, eye twinkling smile. "Okay, I'll tell you." She darted her eyes between Jack and Iris.

Iris's heart raced, she saw the image of her brother standing outside of the diner with his arms folded in front of him, tapping his foot, waiting to tear her apart for being in San Francisco. She shifted in her seat.

"Nothing." Rose said, slapping her hand down on the table and leaning back. "One of the most uninteresting times I've had."

Caleb leaned into the table, looking at Iris. "Who's Justin?"

"Justin is my brother." Iris said, "These two," Iris tilted her head to the side indicating Jack sitting next to her "they don't care for him too much."

Jack's hand landed on Iris's thigh under the table and he squeezed it lightly. A warm sensation ran through Iris's body, she looked over at Jack and smiled. Jack smiled at her and then turned his attention back to Rose. "I'm not surprised." Jack said.

"He was no you Jack." Rose said. "I tried my hardest, but the most I could do was get the two of them to share a bottle of wine with me at dinner."

"Any time you need a drinking buddy," Jack said, extending a hand across the table and stroking Rose's hand, "you know where to find me. I will gladly carry you home after I've drunken you under the table any time."

"Hah! I can out drink any one my friend."

"Rose, " Caleb said, turning to his mother "that's really not good for you. Especially at your age."

"I really like you Caleb." Iris said, "I mean, more than before. She doesn't believe in theology, but maybe she'll believe a doctor."

Rose looked over at Iris and Caleb. "You'll never stop me."

"I'll never try to change you." Jack said with a mock gentleness.

"Are you flirting with my mother Jack?" Caleb said, shooting him a stern look.

"Your mother, Caleb," Jack said, laughing to himself, he leaned back in the booth and looked at Rose. He smiled and dropped his head shaking it, "I'm innocent."

Rose reached over and stroked Caleb's hair. She ran her hand down the side of his head, letting her finger linger on his earlobe for a moment. She smiled sweetly to herself.

Iris took in the scene before her and couldn't help smiling to herself at how lovely it was to see mother and son together. Caleb smiled over at his mother and ducked his head down shyly. Rose turned her attention back to Jack and Iris and leaned into the table again. "Okay, about us leaving." Rose looked at Iris and bit her bottom lip. "We have to stay another night." Rose lifted her hand to Iris and turned her head away, "Now Iris, before you say anything." She looked back at the table and dropped her hand back down. "I was thinking about how we're supposed to be in Los Angeles right now, and how I'd said it would be wonderful to look up Johnny Lee so he could come over and visit." Rose looked back and forth between the two of them.

Iris felt a flush run up to her face. "Oh no Rose." Iris said dropping her head.

"Stop it Iris."

"Who's Johnny Lee?" Jack asked looking over at Iris.

"Iris's first boyfriend.." Rose said smiling at Iris.

Iris looked up quickly. "Rose, stop it." She looked over at Jack who was looking at her with brows lifted. His eyes looked especially bright and blue. "He was a boy from the Dahlia house." Iris said. "He was in the picture you showed me."

"Oh, right. I never got to talk to him."

"And he wasn't my boyfriend. He doesn't like girls." Iris said, looking over at Rose.

"Well, he liked one girl." Rose said looking back over at Jack. "At least he told me there was only one girl he'd marry."

Jack squeezed Iris's thigh again.

"Well I called a few friends down in L.A. And they made a few calls, and then Johnny Lee called me back." Rose looked around the table.

"This Rose, is why you should leave detecting to detectives." Iris said leaning back into the booth.

"I'm impressed Rose," Jack said, "I wasn't able to track him down. Not that I really needed to, but I did have a pass at it."

"Well Jack, Hollywood is very incestuous place." Rose said.

Iris's whole body tightened as Rose annunciated the word incest, and chill came over her. Iris dropped her eyes to the table, and Jack squeezed her thigh again. She looked over and he was looking down at her questioningly.

"Are you two listening to me?" Rose said.

"Yes." Jack and Iris said in tandem looking over at her and cocking their heads at the same angle.

Caleb started laughing, and Rose's face lit up. "That was adorable you two."

"What?" They said in tandem again.

Caleb laughed louder.

"So, Johnny Lee is on his way up here as we speak." Rose said smiling. She reached over and grabbed Iris's wrist. "He is so excited to see you. He loves you."

Iris thought of Johnny Lee's hand moving up her skirt as they kissed in the pantry of the Dahlia's house, and then of Justin looking at her angrily across crossed arms. "I don't know Rose." Iris said, "I have a lot of things I have to do in Mintern."

"Iris, no. Just no." Rose said leaning back. "He's coming for drinks at Jack's house in," Rose looked at her watch, "four hours.. I hope you don't mind I offered up your place Jack," she looked over at Jack and smiled demurely, then she looked over at Iris, "and you are going to be there, and we are going to drink and have a good time."

"I guess you could leave without Rose." Jack said looking at Rose and winking at her. He stroked his chin thoughtfully, and then turned to Iris. "Yes, you could take the train back to Mintern."

Iris looked at Jack and cocked one eyebrow.

"You know," he said, looking over at Rose, "That might actually be preferable. That way we could ask him all about Iris."

Rose smiled and leaned in. "You're right Jack." She leaned in and whispered, "Without this one here to stop us from finding out all her secrets. You know he has all of them."

"Yes, I'm very curious about this boyfriend." Jack said looking back at Iris.

"He wasn't my boyfriend."

"I don't know Iris." Caleb said, "I don't know if I'd trust these two around someone like that unsupervised." He looked from Jack to his mother and then back at Iris. "Between my mother's questioning and Jack's good looks..." his voice trailed off and he laughed softly. "Well, they might know ever embarrassing thing you've ever done before the clock strikes midnight."

"We used to fool around okay?" Iris said looking around the table. "That was all. He thought he could like girls with practice, and so whenever we got bored we would practice, kissing I mean, and one day he wanted to go all the way in the backseat of the Dahlia's car and I put an end to it." Iris was laughing before she got to the end of the sentence. She looked over at Rose. "And in answer to your question earlier, yes, he did feel me up," Iris paused and looked about the table. Jack was looking at her with what she recognized for the first time as surprise in Jack's eyes. "All the time." Iris looked back at Rose, "I even let him put his hand up my skirt once." Iris thought of that moment so many years ago again, and laughed to herself, then recalled another incident when Johnny Lee had actually gotten his hand down her underwear. "No, twice."

Caleb smiled and turned to his mother. "I thought you said she was reserved?"

Rose looked over at Iris. "I thought she was." She turned to Jack, "Have you two been drinking without me?"

Jack leaned back and put is hands out in front of him, "No. But now I'm wondering if I should have this guy in my house."

"Jack." Iris said nudging at his leg.

"What? He might see you and rekindle the passionate feelings of youth." Jack smiled at her, "there is a very seductive quality to you Iris."

"Oh please Jack." Iris said. "Trust me Jack, passions will be kindled, but for you. You are very much his type."

"How do you know that Iris?" Rose said, leaning in.

"Because we shared everything about the feelings he had for men." Iris said sitting up primly.

"So that's what you would talk about while his hand was up your skirt?" Caleb asked.

Iris closed her eyes briefly and looked to the side. "No, I can't repeat what was said in those moments." Iris looked back up at the table. "What?"

"Iris, I can't believe you kept all of this from me." Rose said sitting back in the booth. "You are far too trustworthy. You never let it slip once."

"I can see why you like her Jack." Caleb said, "Now I'm going to be wondering what kinds of things you've seen and done." He smiled at Iris and reached out hand and grabbed her hand. "You have to stay."

Iris sensed a longing in the way he looked at her, that there was something that he wanted to ask her. Iris looked at Rose and Jack who were giving each other strange signals with there hands and eyes across the table. She looked back at Caleb and thought about her own mother and father. She thought of Justin's glaring eyes, knowing that each hour spent here was multiplying the possibility that Justin would find out where she was, and that another night with Jack meant another risk that he would see the marks on her body and get it in his head that she was stepping out on him. Iris stomach turned at the realization that she was doing just that. _Giving in to Justin had been about being able to see Jack, and about seeing Jack only, right?_ She thought. Iris tried to push the worry from her mind. She did want to see Johnny Lee. She decided that's what she would tell Justin.

"Okay. I'll stay." Iris said rolling her eyes.

"I have to hand it to you Caleb; all my powers of persuasion couldn't accomplish in a day what you just did in two sentences." Jack said looking at Iris and running and hand down her cheek. "What is it Angel? The youth? Or is it that he's a doctor?"

Iris blushed. The mention of her pet name was embarrassing.

"Angel? Did you hear the story she just told?" Rose said smiling at Iris, "Letting herself get felt up by Johnny Lee?"

"Hey, he was very, very handsome." Iris said sitting up straighter, "I couldn't have been expected to resist too much. Besides, I thought I was saving his soul."


	40. Chapter 40

"Because Justin, I haven't seen him and I want to."

Jack stood in the living room at the edge of the hallway eavesdropping on Iris as she talked to her brother on the phone. Jack had to strain to hear her under the record she'd put on in the living room.

"Justin, stop it." Iris's voice was almost breaking.

Jack's body tensed, he hated to see Iris cry, or be upset for anything.

"I'll be home tomorrow afternoon." She said emphasizing the last words with a whining tone.

Jack felt a pang of disappointment realizing that tomorrow night he would be in bed alone again.

"Yes, I remember what you said." Iris was actually crying now.

There was tension building in Jack's throat, he hated the way Iris always seemed like a scared little girl when it came to her brother. He wasn't sure who he wanted to throttle more, Justin for making her feel that way, or Iris for taking it. The tinny trumpet refrains of St. James Infirmary coming from the record player created an eerie atmosphere when they coupled with the soft panting sounds of Iris's tears.

"Why are you doing this Alexei?" Iris sniffled sharply. "I'm trying?" Iris said, her voice breaking open over the words. "Because, you're upsetting me."

Jack clenched his fist. He could hear Justin's voice in his head, telling Iris to stop crying. The record stopped.

"It's just a few drinks with some old friends." Iris's voice was louder now, but still broken with tears.

"Don't say that about her." Iris's voice was more aggressive now.

Jack wondered why she could do for Rose, what she couldn't do for herself.

"I can't get there that early."

Jack could hear the clicking of Iris's shoes on the wood floors as she paced.

"I know I've never missed one."

Iris sniffled again. "I'm sorry I forgot. I was caught up."

"One Sunday service in twenty years." Iris's voice had taken on a pleading tone.

"What do you want me to do?" Iris said, her voice was flooded with tears again, muffling her words, and her tone had dropped into the register of resignation.

"Okay, I'll be there." Iris breathed in hard, stifling her tears again.

"Justin.." her voice was impatient, and then there was a long pause. "I promise." She said, her voice dropping into a near whisper.

Jack pictured Justin as a small child pouting on the other end of the line, insisting on pulling his big sister away just so she could watch him preach. Jack shook his head.

"Of course I'm wearing it." Iris said.

Jack turned his head sharply, running his eyes over Iris in his mind, stopping at each article of clothing, trying to figure out which item would be of significance to Justin. Jack realized the only thing she wasn't wearing was her necklace.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Is she your sister or your wife?" he mouthed to no one. Jack shook his head again.

"No, I haven't seen him." Iris said her voice now a calm even tone. "No one is turning me into a whore."

Jack recalled the image of Iris on her knees in front of him, his hand resting lightly on her head as she serviced him at the breakfast table, and he smiled..

"Very upset." Iris said as if she was reciting an answer she'd been quizzed on countless times already.

Jack lost focus on the conversation at hand, getting lost in the memory of the sensation of Iris's mouth, the feel of her head under his hands, the way she'd placed a hand on his stomach, sliding it up under his sweater when he'd told her he was going to come, and kept going. Jack was getting hot. He reached up and touched his neck, his fingers felt cold.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Jack wasn't sure how much he'd missed, but her tone indicated they'd come to some understanding. He began tapping his fingers against the wall lightly. Jack closed his eyes and conjured the image of Iris standing before him as he sat panting and dizzy in his chair, biting her lower lip and looking away, half smiling and watching him from the corner of her eye.

"You look like a little girl who's just been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to." He'd told her.

She'd lifted her eyebrows and pursed her mouth slightly. "I thought I was feigning humility." She said, and then laughed silently walking behind him and sliding her hands around his neck and down his chest, and pressing her cheek to his. "Can you breathe?" she'd asked.

Watching her saunter out of the kitchen to freshen her makeup, Jack had wondered how she'd gotten to be good at something like that with her brother around. Of course Jack had known she was no virgin. He knew that should be the gentlemanly assumption given her family and her marital status, but he'd figured there were sticky fumblings here and there. If there had been a long time lover or even something remotely close, he would have uncovered him in his investigation.

Jack opened his eyes. He didn't want to think about that yet.

"Good night." Iris whispered.

A wave of exhilaration went through Jack. He straightened up and pressed his back to the wall, listening to the sounds of her footsteps as she came down the hall. Iris walked right past him into the living room and he pounced on her quickly, bringing a hand over her mouth and pulling her close to him.

Iris went rigid in his arms and let out a muffled squeaking sound, before relaxing and leaning into Jack.

He kissed down her neck and slowly slid his hand away from her mouth. He slid both of his arms under hers and wrapped them around the front of her, cupping her breasts through her dress.

"Jack, I can't." Iris said, pulling away from him.

Jack pulled her back against him hard, and he groped her breasts more aggressively, stroking his thumbs over her nipples through the fabric. "Your body doesn't lie." He said and returned to kissing her neck.

Iris reached up over her shoulder to stroke Jack's hair. "You really like that don't' you?"

Jack stopped kissing her and rested his chin on her shoulder. "What?"

"Scaring me." Iris said. She turned around in his arms so she was facing him.

Jack took her face in his hands and kissed her. Iris put her arms around this neck and stood up on her toes pressing herself into the kiss. She began moaning as Jack pulled her even closer to him. Jack kissed along her collar bone and she closed her eyes, tilting her head back and holding Jack close. Jack dropped to his knees and quickly lifted Iris's skirt above her knees. He kissed along the tops of her garters.

Iris rested her hands on his shoulders. She looked down at him as kissed up her thighs, to where his hands were anchoring her skirt to just below the line of her underwear.

When Jack began to kiss higher, Iris suddenly steeped away. "No, no, no." she said playfully as she backed into the back of Jack's sofa. "Quit seducing me."

Jack stood up and walked over to Iris, smiling maniacally. Iris sat half sitting on the back of the sofa, watching Jack draw near. Her eyes were wide as she looked up at him. Jack bent down and kissed her, moving his hand between her legs as he did. He pushed her legs open and she complied, moaning and whimpering again as he found his way into her panties.

Iris pushed Jack away. "No." she said looking down at the ground.

Jack's body was aching. He wanted to get lost in her skin. He wanted to make proper love to her once before she was gone. No hotel rooms, not outdoors. Those were exciting, but no substitute for the kind of lovemaking that happens when new lovers have each other to themselves.

Jack dropped to his knees in front of her again, wrapping his hands around her waist and looking up at her. "Why not Angel? What about this morning?"

"Jack, I just had a very uncomfortable conversation with my brother." Iris said looking down at him.

Jack looked up at her. "I understand that," he said as he unfastened the stocking on her right leg from its garter. "and we can talk about it." Jack began to slide the stalking down her leg stopping just above her knee. "What was he so upset about?" he asked, and then dropped his head to kiss the bare flesh of her upper thigh.

Iris sighed. "He doesn't want me spending time with Johnny Lee because he's, you know."

"Uh huh," Jack said kissing her leg and running his fingers along the underside of her thigh.

Iris pulled her skirt down to her knee, forcing Jack's head away.

Jack looked up at her wide eyed.

"Jack, this is serious." She said.

"So is this." Jack said grabbing her leg again and pulling her stocking down to her ankle, without looking away from her. Jack stroked her leg absently, still looking at her. His eyes softened. "Well Angel, that's a popular opinion. That men like Johnny Lee aren't the sort of person an upstanding Christian woman like you should be spending time with."

Jack leaned down and kissed along Iris's ankle.

She watched him for a moment. Jack kissed up her calve and rolled his eyes up to look at her. "I can understand why your brother, being who he is would be worried about how it would look. You didn't know he had a problem with this? Most people do."

Iris looked around the room before looking back down at him. Jack's stomach dropped, he knew she was lying. That hadn't been what Justin was upset about at all.

"Do you agree with most people?" she asked.

Jack looked between her legs, trying to see into the shadows of her skirt before looking up at her. He smiled, almost laughing. "I wouldn't have him over to my house if I felt that way Angel. But to answer your question, after everything I've seen I feel assured that most of the sexual depravity in this world comes from men like me, not girls like Johnny Lee."

Iris looked off into the kitchen and Jack went back to kissing along the faint divot formed in her flesh from years of wearing sock garters just below the knees.

"I have to go back early tomorrow too because I've never missed a Sunday sermon." Iris said.

Jack kissed along the inside of her knees. "That's fine Angel, family is important."

Iris looked down at him. "Your just saying yes to everything aren't you?"

Jack sat back on his heels. "Yes Angel." Jack tilted his head at her and looked at her in the way that made her feel completely seen. "What do you want me to say? That's its ridiculous?" Jack lifted his eyebrows to emphasis the point. "It is. The fact that you feel the need to lie about where you are is ridiculous. But that's the way things have to be, so I'd rather enjoy the time."

Jack stood up, and looked down at Iris. Jack looked down at her. She looked small to him, and the way her eyes were searching his, he knew that she was afraid that he was going to rip her clothes off and see the marks. Jack wanted to tell her he'd already seen them, and that he didn't care because he was going to kill the man. Jack took a deep breath and closed his eyes, picturing Iris biting her lower lip and looking off the side again.

The fire started to burn across his skin again.

Jack opened his eyes and Iris was still looking up at him. He looked down at her bare leg. He saw something on her kneecap and dropped down. He turned her leg from side to side in his hands looking at it. There was a large circular bruise there. Jack quickly unfastened the garters other leg and peeled down the stocking. There was a corresponding bruise on that kneecap as well.

Jack looked up at Iris and smiled.

"What?"

Iris peered down at her own legs. She looked back at Jack. Frowning. "You've seen my scars before haven't you?"

Jack leaned back and smiled even wider. "Yes. And while not my favorite part of your anatomy, I do actually like them. But I wonder how you're going to explain those to your brother.

Iris's eyes bulged and her eyebrows lifted instantaneously. She looked down and then looked back up at Jack laughing. "I guess I'll tell him I was praying for Johnny's soul." Iris bit on her bottom lip and looked off to the side stifling a laugh.

A thunderbolt of desire shot through Jack. He stood up and looked at Iris for a long moment, until she stopped laughing and looked at him. "Look Iris. All I want is to put my face between your legs and lick away until you scream my name to high heaven, sometime before our guests arrive. What's it gonna take?"

Iris dropped her head and kicked her legs slightly. "Jack."

"Oh come on Iris. Are you telling me that the same woman that dropped to her knees in the middle of breakfast and gave me a blowjob," Jack stopped tilting his body slightly trying to see into Iris's face, "a mind-numbing blowjob, I don't mean to demean it with what I'm about to say."

Iris looked up at him suddenly.

"A blowjob, as casually as if she was passing the salt, can't handle me saying blatantly that I want to fall asleep in your skirts?"

Iris looked at him and bit her bottom lip again and frowned slightly.

Jack felt another jolt of electricity.

"I guess where I'm from we don't talk about it" Iris said, "We just do it."

Jack knew she was speaking seriously and not making a challenge, but he didn't care. "Oh, is that what this is.?" Jack walked over to the end table by the sofa and pulled something out of one of the drawers.

Iris watched him, her eyebrows knit in confusion.

Jack walked in front of her and held up his fist, he opened it and a shining pair of handcuffs dangled in front of her face. Jack reached down quickly and pulled Iris up. "If this is the way it has to be."

"No, Jack!"

"Well." Jack said letting her go, "that's a relief." Jack tossed the handcuffs on to the couch. "I don't know how you would've explained those bruises to your brother." Jack smiled down at Iris.

Iris looked around the room, biting her lower lip.

"Rest assured Iris, it's going to happen. Just tell me how you'd like it to happen." Jack said smiling down at her. He fixed his gaze at her so she knew he was serious.

Iris looked around the room another time before looking up at him. She opened her moth for a moment before asking the question.

Jack's heart began to race. He lifted his eyebrows.

Iris suddenly changed her expression into a grimace, and then she looked back up at him. "What's a blowjob?"

Jack exhaled loudly and rolled his eyes. "It's what we called them at work." Jack said. "You know listing offenses when you catch someone with a whor…working girl."

Iris narrowed her eyes at Jack. "Did you just call me a whore?"

Jack looked down at Iris. "I called you a professional." Jack said walking around to the front of the couch, "Most men have to pay for that kind of thing." Jack grabbed up the handcuffs. He grabbed both of Iris's arms and forced them together behind her back and cuffed them before she had time to look over her shoulder.

"Jack."

"Now, be careful Iris." Jack said walking back around to face Iris. "As they are right now, those won't bruise, but the more you fight it, the worse it's going to be." Jack stepped back and leaned against the wall. He looked at his watch then back at Iris. "You have two hours until our guests arrive. What's it going to take?"

Iris looked down at the floor; she looked off to the side and let out a breath. She turned her head to face him. "I want to keep my stockings and garters on and all the way up."

Jack nodded silently in the affirmative.

"And no lights, and no bed. Just, on the floor here. And I want to keep all my clothes on."

"No bed?" Jack squinted at her.

"Bed is more likely to lead to, well; men can be like a kid in the cookie jar." Iris said leveling her gaze at him.

"Fair enough." Jack said, smiling and looking around the room. "I want to see you.. How 'bout one light, the dimmest one over there." Jack said nodding his head at a small lamp in the corner of the room.

Iris looked at him down her nose, tilting her head to the side. "Okay, but all my clothes stay on."

"Of course." Jack said pushing off the wall and heading toward her. He stopped and turned off all of the lamps on the way to her. He stopped in front of her rolling each stocking up to the middle of her thighs. Her eyes widened.

"I know, I know." Jack said, "I'm not looking anywhere but in your eyes Angel." He said as he fastened her garters to the top of her stockings. Iris's eyes grew soft as he looked at her, and he couldn't help it, he started reading her. He could feel her absolute fear.

Jack smiled at her. "Don't be scared Angel." He frowned at her and ran a finger down her cheek. "You know I would never hurt you?" Jack laughed. "Don't you?"

"I know." Iris said.

Jack moved behind her and began to unlock the handcuffs. "Now Angel, you're going to feel the overwhelming urge to slap me for cuffing you. It's okay, most women have that reaction."

Iris leaned over her shoulder. "We've never done this before."

"Believe me that had not escaped by attention." Jack said, turning the key and sliding open the handcuffs. Iris moved her hands into her lap.

Jack stood up and walked around in front of her again. "We were always in a hurry."

Iris looked up at him sternly and stood up fully. "I have to take my panties off."

Iris turned around the hiked her dress up and opened her garters to slide her underwear down the tops of the stockings. She refastened them and stood upright again letting her skirt fall down, and the underwear skimmed down to her ankles. She stepped out of them and turned around and shrugged at Jack. Looking up at him with her bottom lip protruding ever so slightly.

"Pout all you want Iris." Jack said smiling. He pulled Iris to him and kissed her, She responded slowly, but as he kissed down her neck and moved his hands over her breasts she began to actually grind into him and whimper slightly.

Jack's body felt electrified at the sound of Iris's pleasure. Jack pulled her with him down to the ground and moved in top of her. "The other part of the deal is that you can't be quiet. You're not allowed to stop yourself from crying out."

Iris stared up at the ceiling as Jack moved down her body and spread her legs. She held her breath as he placed one of his hands directly over a bite mark barely covered by the top of her stocking. Jack hovered over her sex for a moment then crawled back up to her face.

Iris's eyes were wide open an as he lay on top of her he could feel her heart racing.

Jack's heart sank. He hated to see Iris upset, especially to know he was the source of it. "One more thing Angel." Jack said.

Iris's face relaxed. "Yes."

"I love you."


	41. Chapter 41

It was around two in the morning when Rose fell asleep on the couch. Johnny Lee and Caleb made coffee and talked about Dr. Dahlia and Rose as a young girl. When the clock struck three o'clock Johnny looked at Caleb and set down his coffee cup. "Are you ready?"

Caleb looked at Johnny shifting his eyes around the room. "Yeah. Jack is going to kill us."

"Turn about is fair play I always say." Johnny said smiling. "We're getting Iris home. If Jack wasn't so jealous right now, he'd be doing the same thing."

"You don't know Jack like I do." Caleb said standing up. "You really don't want to be on his bad side."

"We won't be." Johnny said. "Once he sobers up he'll be glad that someone did the right thing."

The two men crept up the stairs and stood in front of Jack's door for several moments. Each eying the other. Both afraid to speak, but both indicating to each other they felt awkward sneaking into a man's bedroom. To steal his woman out of it. "What if she's naked?" Caleb had mouthed. Johnny had just smiled wide and given a thumbs up, indicating it would all just be the better luck for them.

Johnny finally turned the knob slowly and pushed the door open, letting the hallway light flood in. Both men stood to the side of the door, waiting to see if the light was going to wake up the sleeping lovers. It didn't. The two men crept into the room. Iris was sleeping on the side of the bed closest to the door, and she was facing them. They hovered at the edge of the bed for a moment looking back and forth at each other.

Johnny Lee pulled the blanket back and was relieved to see that Iris was already completely dressed, stockings and all. Jack's arm was around her waist, but other than that she was relatively unencumbered. Johnny leaned down and kissed Iris softly. Her eyes fluttered half open. Johnny put a finger up to his mouth and then placed a fingertip to her mouth. Johnny reached down to hug her and she put her arms around his neck. Johnny slid his arm under her legs and lifted her up in one smooth motion, letting Jack's arms drop down on the mattress. The two men remained perfectly still waiting to see if Jack would wake up. Not that they had planned anything to say if such a thing should happen. But it was instinctive.

Iris was already back asleep in Johnny's arms. Johnny nodded his head at Iris's suitcase and shoes in the corner of the room and Caleb hurried and retrieved them. They closed the door carefully and smiled at each other before heading down the stairs. They tucked Iris carefully into the backseat of the car and shook hands. Johnny watched Caleb disappear back into Jack's building and got in the car. He looked back at Iris sleeping peacefully on the pillow and blanket he'd pilfered from Jack's linen closet. He laughed remembering making the proclamation that Rose could buy him fifty replacements with last season's rags alone. They had each in their own way, come a long way. Johnny started the car.



Johnny sat outside of his car smoking a cigarette while Iris brushed her hair and freshened up her makeup in the car. It was almost five in the morning and they were just outside of Mintern. Johnny had been surprised when she'd pointed out the house the she now called home. He actually thought they might have something much bigger. But when Iris pointed out New Canaan, and the number of people following Justin, Johnny did register a bit of awe.

As they drove on the main driveway Iris had Johnny stop the car. "I'll just walk from here."

"Are you sure?" Johnny said. "It's a bit cold out still."

"I'm sure." Iris said. "It'll be good for me. Wake me up."

"What are you gonna do?" Johnny asked, brushing a strand of hair out of Iris's face.

Iris looked at him and smiled. "About what?"

"About Jack?" Johnny was looking at her with a kind of resignation that told her he had already figured out the crux of that relationship.

Iris smiled, but as she did she found her eyes welling with tears.

"Iris, what's wrong?" he said reaching out and touching her shoulder.

"I don't know. I'm just so confused" she said wiping at the tears in her eyes. "It's nothing, it's gone." She said smiling. They were quiet for a moment. Iris was looking down at her feet. "I don' know." She said. She looked up at Johnny. "I don't know what I'm going to do about Jack."

"Well. I'm sure you'll figure it out." Johnny said, reaching over and hugging her. Iris opened the door and stepped out. Johnny leaned over to the window. "Do you need any help with your bags?"

"No." Iris looked back. "Call me sometime."

"Take care of yourself Iris." Johnny said with a seriousness that sent a little chill up Iris's spine.

"Always." She said, winking at her friend before turning and beginning the walk up to the driveway. It was still pitch dark outside and it was awfully brisk. Iris was already regretting her decision to wake up. She had wanted though, to be able to sneak into the house. She wasn't sure why, maybe she just didn't want to have to deal with Justin until she was sufficiently reestablished in the environment. Despite anything else that happened between them. At least in this house, if he was king, she was queen, with all the powers that were implicit in that role.

The house was quiet when Iris stepped inside. There was a single hall light on near Sofie's room downstairs and an upstairs light. Iris closed the door quietly and crept up the stairs. However when she got to the landing she could hear the faint sound of voices. As she got near Justin's door she could hear it louder.

Iris realized it was the sounds of Justin extracting pleasure from some poor girl. Justin loved the sounds of agony more than actually inflicting it. The girls that had lasted longest had figured it out. Not that they weren't enjoying themselves. Justin could always pick the masochist out of the crowd. Justin's promiscuity and cruelty were disgusting to Iris. Not that Justin cared much about what she thought was right or wrong.

Iris crept past the door and into her own room. She set her suitcase down inside the door and looked back at Justin's door. The noise in the room had ceased for a moment. Iris smiled to herself wondering if Justin has sensed her, or smelled her, or just heard her. Not that she cared so much about that part. But she did like the idea that her presence would be enough to make him nervous. Iris remained perfectly still and quiet.

The noise started again. It was the sound of the whip. He was making some girl his penitent. Iris squinted at the door, this was a new routine. Iris was curious. She decided she could save the girl, annoy Justin, and satisfy her curiosity all at once. She crept slowly to the door and listened in. A crying girl was asking for more, and then there was the sound of leather against soft flesh. It was hitting with some force too. Iris flinched with next smack. Iris thought of Celeste's face the day she'd found her naked and trembling next to Justin's bed and felt her jaw clenching. Iris turned the knob and stepped in suddenly.

A cold sweat broke over her body as she saw a woman with the same shade of hair as her, kneeling on the floor in the dress the Justin had insisted she throw away. It was unzipped in the back and the girl's back was covered with deep red welts. Justin was standing over the girl in his cassock. Iris had been expecting naked bodies and embarrassment. Iris looked at Justin with genuine surprise. Wondering what fresh insanity this was. "What the hell is going on in here?" Iris walked all the way into the room toward Justin.

Justin's eyes were wide, and he was holding the whip tight to his side, trying to hide it. Iris looked over at the young woman. "You should be ashamed of yourself. Bringing this perversity into the house of a man of God." She said. The girl looked up to her like she might say something in defense of herself. "Get out of here." Iris snapped. The woman scurried quickly out of the bedroom, leaving the door ajar. Iris walked over and shut the door before turning around. Justin stood with his hands behind his back, looking at her.

"Having a little fun are we?" she said walking up to him. "Explain to me again why it is that I shouldn't mind these girls, why until recently I was supposed to procure them for you?"

Justin stepped closer to her. "Yes, that has been a rather inconvenient development." Justin said, letting his eyes linger on the cleavage that was afforded by this new dress Rose had bought her. "You should've been nicer to her. She was taking your punishment for you." Justin said bringing the whip in front of him and tapping it lightly in his hands. "But now that you're here it's all the better.'

A chill went up Iris's back, remembering the times she'd felt the lash of leather against her skin. She tried to relax her face, to not give a way a hint of her fear. "Oh please." Iris said turning and walking quickly to the door. Justin followed after her fast and shut the door as she tried to open it, pressing into her. Iris's stomach turned as she pressed her cheek flat against the door. Justin's breath was hot her ear. Iris tried to push against him but he wouldn't budge. After a few moments Iris tried to move again, but Justin forced her into the door harder, and pressed tighter against her back.

"You've scared off my good time, you're going to have to make up for it." He panted into her ear. "Don't be afraid, the whipping was over anyway."

"You know I'm not afraid of pain Justin." Iris said with more confidence than she was in possession of. Justin pressed himself into her harder and she felt his arousal. It made her suddenly aware of her own anatomy.

"Do you know what I make them do next?" Justin asked. He grabbed Iris by the arm flipping her around so her back was pressed into the door this time and he was pressing into her chest.

Iris looked into his eyes, narrowing her own, and feeling her body getting aroused despite her mind's objections. "I can guess. I know what you like."

"You know what I don't like about them Iris?" Justin said pressing against her ever harder and moving a thigh between her legs. Iris let out a gasp of arousal, and stopped it short, trying to control herself. "They're so simple. They're so easy to break."

"Your bedroom habits disgust me." Iris said, trying to move free of him again. Justin pushed her back against the door hard, she hit her head against the door with the force. She squinted and sucked air through her teeth, and Justin's knees pushed against her sex more insistently.

"What I like about you is the way you say _no more_, when you're whole body is begging to let it go, and I can feel it., we both know you're about to" Justin said near enough to kiss her. "You're hands are pulling at my hair, you're dragging your fingernails down my back." Justin leaned in to her ear and whispered, "You're flooding inside." Iris felt herself beginning to flood, as if Justin was casting a spell on her with each word he uttered. She wondered if indeed he was. Justin pulled away to face her again. "And still you say _no more_."

Justin looked her up and down, and met her eyes again. "But I think my favorite is when I know I'm hurting you, and you keep asking for more." Justin smiled at her and pressed into her nuzzling against her neck as though he would kiss her and whispering in a sugary voice meant to mock her own "_More_." Justin pressed into her again, shifting his knees causing another gasp of pleasure from Iris. "Just like the other morning in your bed. _More, Justin, more_." He mocked. Justin looked her in the eye and licked his lips. "Come on Iris, try to get away again."

Iris's skin was aching. Suddenly she wanted to be touched more than anything. She felt herself getting wetter, this awareness overtook any other. Iris looked at him narrowing her eyes, she was panting, and so was he, waiting. Iris wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a bruising kiss, and he pushed back. She bit down on his lower lip and scraped her fingers across the shoulders of is cassock as he lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he pressed into her. She gasped as he moved his head down to her neck and began biting there.

Justin carried Iris to the bed and set her down. They kissed roughly and she busied her hands unbuttoning his cassock. Several of the buttons flew off at once and scattered to the floor. Justin stood up and pushed Iris's dress up ripped her garters from her stockings and pulled her underwear down.

Iris looked up at him, anticipating, but he didn't move instead he just looked at her. Iris got on her knees and crawled to the edge of the bed opening his cassock and pulling at his belt buckle. She reached into his pants and grabbed him, looking up into his eyes. He looked down at her and smiled. "I like this way your tits look in that dress." He said. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back hard into the mattress and found his way between her legs. He pushed inside of her.

Iris felt a sharp burning pain shoot through her body, she tightened around Justin and let out an actual shriek. Justin pushed inside of her harder and faster. The pain became worse, waves of stabbing pain up through her body, making her short of breath, and radiating down to the backs of her thighs. Iris remembered bits and pieces of her and Jack making love drunk and enthusiastically. "Justin stop." She said, trying to push against his chest. "It hurts."

Justin brought a hand up to Iris's mouth covering it, and moved her leg under him to he could push further inside of her. The pain intensified and Iris felt anxiety move through her and she began to struggle under Justin in earnest. Justin moved faster and pinned her down more. Iris managed to get a hand free and she scratched at his face.

Justin stumbled back from the bed grabbing his face. Iris quickly brought her legs together, and pushed her hands between her legs through her dress. Her eyes were watering.

"God damn it Iris." Justin said looking down at his hand and seeing blood there. "I have to preach today."

Iris was writhing on the bed. She looked at him feeling a rage burning inside of her. "You were hurting me!" She said. Justin frowned at her. "You told me it always hurts." Justin stepped back to the bed and grabbed Iris by the shoulders, lifting her into a sitting position. The ache between her legs was starting to subside. "You were with someone else weren't you?" Justin's expression changed to one of disgust. "You wore yourself out didn't you, like a common whore." He was shaking Iris now. She could see his eyes beginning to cloud over.

Iris struggled for something to say. "I'm still sore from what you did to me before I left you sadistic bastard." She finally spat. Hoping the drama with which she said it would pass for genuine passion. Iris started crying. Justin stopped for a moment and then pulled her close to him in a hug.

"I'm so sorry." He said. "I never mean to hurt you. I never mean to. That's what the other's are for. I guess I got carried away." Iris sobbed harder. "Please don't cry." Justin said. Iris felt a twinge of guilt, Justin sounded like a little boy again, terrified he'd broken something he couldn't fix.

"I'm not a whore." Iris said, sniffling away her tears. Justin looked up at her pulling her face to his and pressing his forehead against hers.

"You're a stranger to me lately." He said. Iris pushed him away so he was looking at her. A flush ran through her, knowing that she was about to make a gamble.

"I'm your sister." She said, "I'm your penitent lover, full of petty jealousies." Iris paused looking at her brother. His eyes were watering slightly. She moved closer to him, holding his face in her hands. He pulled her at the waist so she was almost sitting on his lap. "So full of desire for her lover, she incites his lust before she is ready to satisfy it." Justin kissed Iris hard and pushed her back in the bed. He grabbed her breast through her dress. He pulled away from her and looked her in the eyes has he ran a finger back and forth across her nipple, making her whimper slightly.

"Iris, your words can heal my heart so easily. And they can destroy me so fully." Justin said. "This power you have over me perverts me. It makes me crazy with desire." Justin leaned down and kissed her again. Iris ran her fingers along the back of his cassock and he began to grind into her. She could feel him growing harder as his kiss deepened. Iris pushed him off of her and reached her hand down inside of his pants.

"Then let me satisfy that desire." She said as grabbed him. Iris kissed at his neck and moved up to his ear. "Promise me, no more girls." She said as she began to stroke him. Justin grabbed her face and pulled her to him. He was looking at her through narrowed, discerning eyes. Iris tried to look as earnest as possible. Hoping that what she was doing with her hand below his waist would distract his judgment enough to believe her.

"I promise." He said. Iris went back to kissing his neck, and then she began to kiss down his torso. When she got to his hip bones she nibbled slightly at their outer edges in the way she knew drove him to frenzy. He bucked slightly, trying to restrain himself in anticipation of what was coming. He laid a hand on Iris's head as he traced the roots of the tree tattooed across his body with her tongue. "I'm so glad you're home." He said.


	42. Chapter 42

Iris sat on Justin's bed sewing the buttons back on his cassock as he stood in front of the mirror in his bathroom examining the scratches on his face. Justin looked over at Iris and smiled at the image of her in her slip on his bed, her stockings rolling down her legs and the sunrise coming up behind her through the windows. He had missed his lover. She was biting on her lower lip as she concentrated on the task at hand and it aroused Justin again. It was a sweet torture knowing her couldn't have her today, but having her in his room, half naked on his bed none the less.

Justin thought of their time in St. Paul, living as husband and wife. That was always how he had intended it; never as illicit lovers, never as anything less than a holy union. He loved Iris and would never want to hurt her in that way, by demeaning her honor. The brother that had visited yesterday, also trained in St. Paul had reminded him of those days with Iris. That is why he'd been so upset when she'd called to say she would be gone longer. Father Bellamy had made Justin hungry to feel Iris against him again.

"There was a visitor yesterday." Justin said.

Iris looked up and smiled. "And you didn't eat them alive?"

Justin laughed and walked over to where Iris was. She looked up and stared at him shirtless in front of her. Justin felt a rush of pride. He knew he still had a strong figure and that Iris was impressed by it. "The treasure was gone from the house. I didn't need to protect anything."

"We have treasure?" Iris asked looking back down at Justin's cassock and pulling the needle and thread through the fabric.

Iris looked so sweet and tender to Justin in that moment that he wanted to be absolutely lost in her. He grabbed her quickly and pushed her down on the bed, burying his head in her neck. "Yes, it's five and a half feet tall, and it has beautiful red hair and something quite extraordinary here." Justin said running a hand between her legs.

Iris gasped and pushed his hand away quickly. Justin snaked his hands up the front of her dress and grabbed at her breasts. "Justin, please stop" Iris said, trying to push at Justin and laughing a bit. "I'm going to stab myself with this needle." Justin grabbed the bundle from Iris's hands and threw it to the floor. Iris dropped her head to the side and sighed dramatically.

"That won't discourage me Iris. I'm insatiable" Justin joked, running is fingers across her ribs and making her giggle. Justin wrapped himself around Iris in the sunrise light on his bed, breathing heavily. "His name was Bellamy. He was a brother from my seminary. I didn't know him though, a little before my time there. He's working in Sacramento now. He came to see what we're doing here."

"From St. Paul?" Iris shifted so she was pushing back into Justin. Justin wrapped his arms around Iris tighter, and kissed her neck.

"We talked almost the whole day" Justin said. "It was nice, though I have to admit, it had me thinking of you." Justin began to kiss down Iris's back, sliding the strap of her slip down her shoulder and pulling it down so he had access to the middle of her back. He began to kiss her there until she let out the soft little moans he loved so much. "Do you remember the day you had a fever?"

Iris turned into Justin so she was lying on her back. She looked up at him, and he smiled. He looked down at her and saw that one breast was slightly exposed. He pulled her slip down a little more and went to kiss it, when Iris brought a hand to his forehead stopping him. "I remember that was that day I decided we couldn't anymore. You couldn't control yourself."

"God Iris, I loved you so much" Justin said, stroking Iris's face. "I was young. I wanted to own you body and soul."

"You loved me so much you would have had me pregnant by the end of the term." Iris said. She rolled over so she was facing away from him. Justin stayed calm, stroking her arms.

"I thought you were, that's why that day I threw caution to the wind. I thought it didn't matter. I thought we were doomed" he said, kissing her shoulder. Iris turned into him again, to look up at him seriously.

"What would you have done?"

"I don't know, taken you far away where no one knew us and married you." Justin said smiling thinking of how he'd fantasized just such a thing happening so he would have the impetus to abscond with Iris.

"How can you be so flippant?" Iris struggled underneath Justin to get up, but he pushed her down and moved to be on top of her.

"I'm not" he said, sitting up on her hips, pinning her and looking down on her. "You never had faith in me did you?"

"Justin" Iris said, turning her head to the side.

Justin felt something like desire and disgust moving through him at once. "Well that's a shame, because I always had faith in your love for me."

Iris snapped her head back and looked up at Justin. He could feel her eyes searing into him. Justin leaned down and kissed her again. She was resistant at first, but he pushed his tongue into her mouth and adjusted her hips under his, so that his unfastened belt buckle was gently scraping against her thigh, and she caved to him. She always did.



Iris sat in her chair watching as the tent began to fill with people. She looked over at Justin who was reading through his bible in his own seat next to her. She saw in the sunlight his scratches actually looked quite bad, she felt a twinge of satisfaction and looked down at the floor, smiling to herself.

She crossed her legs and felt a fresh pain between her legs. It was like the first time all over again. She hadn't intended to let Justin try again, but he had insisted in her ear that he would "be good" and the belt buckle against her thigh, well she was defenseless against it. Iris's stomach turned thinking again of that first night in Justin's bedroom. She looked over at him.

Iris wanted to throw him a little before he gave his sermon. Iris brought her finger to her mouth as if she was correcting the line of her lipstick, and then licked her lips. She felt a warmth in her stomach as she saw the faintest twinge of pink form across Justin's cheeks. Iris crossed her legs again and winced again for Justin's benefit. He breathed in deeply, and stood up to address his flock.

Iris looked out at the crowd and almost jumped out of her chair. There were Rose and Caleb sitting right in the front pew. Iris smiled quickly. And Rose and Caleb smiled back before shifting there attention to Justin as he began his sermon. Iris felt a fire burning across her skin as she sat in front of the crowd, wondering if Rose and Caleb had managed to catch the little exchange between her and Justin.



"What a pleasant surprise" Justin said, as he hugged Rose. He gave her an extra squeeze and she blushed when he released her. He tuned his attention to Caleb, who turned his head to get a better look at Justin's face.

"This is my son Caleb" Rose said, her eyes twinkling with pride.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you Caleb. I'm Justin, Iris's brother." Justin shook the young man's hand. Iris looked from the boy to the women still seated in the pews near the front. They were fanning themselves a little faster, and she couldn't help a giggle.

"What happened to your face?" Caleb used Justin's hand to pull him closer, so he could better examine him.

"Oh that" Justin said stepping away quickly and putting his hand up to his face. "I'm afraid a feral cat got into the house."

"Must've been an awfully big cat" Caleb said, frowning.

"Yes. She went crazy in my arms, but eventually I had her purring in my arms" Justin smiled. He placed a hand on Iris's shoulder and felt herself blushing slightly.

"Justin I must say, you have an amazing presence behind that pulpit" Rose interjected.

"Nothing would make me happier than to hear that I have brought you closer to God my dear Rose" Justin smiled.

"Iris, do you have a doctor here?" Caleb tugged at Iris's arm to separate her from Justin. Iris looked at Justin and smiled before turning away and taking a few steps with Caleb.

"No we don't, though we're always looking for volunteers" Iris said, casting another look at Justin. Justin smiled at her. "Let me show you around Caleb" Iris said, taking Caleb's arm and leading him out of the tent and into the milling chaos that was New Canaan.

Justin looked down at Rose. "I wasn't aware that you had children. How old is he? Thirty?"

"Caleb was from my first marriage when I was just a girl" Rose said smiling up at him and rolling her shoulders back to accentuate her cleavage. "Didn't Iris mention it? My marriage to the King of Spain I mean" Rose said drawing closer to Justin.

"Fair enough" Justin said bringing an arm around her shoulder. "You know I just can't wait to hear about what moved you in the sermon. I just have so many questions for you really" Justin said beginning to walk with Rose out of the tent and toward the house.



Iris and Caleb walked clear of the migrants and began heading down the river towards Iris's lair. Iris hadn't been to visit it since Justin had spied her there and she wondered if Christopher had maintained it. They walked into a grove of trees and were almost to the other side when Caleb grabbed her suddenly and thrust her up against a tree and pulled down the front of her dress, exposing the scratches and bite marks there, and part of the areola of Iris's left breast, causing her to let out a cry of shock.

"He did this didn't he?" Caleb grabbed her shoulders and shook her. Iris slapped him as hard as she could. Caleb staggered back and looked at her. "Do you remember what you told me when we went walking in the rain?" Caleb stepped closer to her, and she looked away. "You said that he did it to make sure you behaved yourself." Caleb grabbed Iris's chin and turned her face so she had to look at him. "Is this something sexual?" Caleb frowned at her and dropped his voice to his whisper when he asked the question. Iris just looked at him, her face paling. "The scratches on his face, did he", Caleb looked around then back at her, "did he rape you?"

Iris slapped him again, and he dropped his head grabbing his face. She smacked him again on the arms, faster and faster, and then suddenly she collapsed down against the tree, hiding her face. "Don't look at me" she said. Caleb huddled down with her whispering into her hair.

"I've seen this kind of thing before. It's not your fault. If he threatened you, if he's hurting you" Caleb said stroking Iris's arms. Iris turned to look at him.

"Please Caleb, when we get back, take your mother and go home, and forget you ever saw this, forget all of this" Iris said grabbing his face and looking in his eyes with an intensity he'd only ever felt with his most afflicted patients.

Caleb lifted Iris up as he stood. "I'm afraid I can't do that Iris. I can't let him keep hurting you. I've only just met you, when Jack finds out, I can't imagine what he'll do, but he would never forgive me for just leaving you."

Iris began sobbing. "God no, please you can't tell him. Never ever. Please. I'll deny it. I'll say you have no idea what you're talking about."

"You can try that Iris, but I think we both know Jack well enough to know what he'll do."

"He didn't rape me" Iris stated flatly, wiping away at her tears. "It was consensual."

Caleb stepped away from her. "What?"

"You couldn't understand. But don't you see. It's better off for everyone if you just forget all of this."

"I don't believe you." Caleb reached over and straightened Iris's dress. "You're sick, you don't want to admit it, you're ashamed, that's fine, but I'll not let this happen to you" Caleb said as he adjusted her dress, without looking her in the eye.

"Please" Iris said, grabbing Caleb's hands, "just give me a few days before you say anything. I promise I'll get help. Please."

Caleb looked at her and then back towards the camps. "It's disgusting, that he's leading all these poor souls." Caleb looked back down at Iris. "A few days, but if I find out you're still here, I'm telling Jack. I wouldn't want to break his heart. But I won't let you either. He's a dear friend to me."



Rose was sitting on Justin's lap on the bed in the guest bedroom kissing him. Things became more heated and their hands were searching all over each other. Rose was biting at his lower lip and Justin was weaving his hands through her hair. Until Justin finally made a loud grunting sound and turned Rose over so she was lying on the bed and he was hovering over her. Justin looked down at her and smiled. "You are a gorgeous thing Rose. If I hadn't made a promise to my sister, I would devour you here and now. You would ask for no mercy, and none would be given."

"Excuse me?" Rose lifted herself up to elbows and looked at Justin quizzically.

Justin pushed her back down and kissed her hard, biting on her lower lip until she whimpered. Justin pulled up and stroked her forehead. Rose's eyes were slightly glazed. "You heard me Rose" he whispered, "Now what I want to know is, where you really took my sister this weekend" Justin leaned in closer, "and Rose you really don't want to lie to me do you?"

Rose shook her head no, but her expression was almost dead. Justin smiled. "No, that's a good girl, I didn't think so." Justin leaned down kissing along her neck and grabbing at her breasts. He let one hand up her dress.

"I took her to see Jack. I wanted to surprise her" Rose said, shifting under Justin's ministrations. Justin moved his head down between Rose's legs, kissing Rose's sex through the fabric of her underwear. He let out another grunting sound.

"God damn promises" he said before moving back up to face Rose. "You're a good friend Rose, to tell me your little secret." Rose shook her head yes. "But you know what's unfortunate is that you impelled Iris to sin. You've saved her from some punishments I would have taken great pleasure in administering, but you see, know you've let me see who needs to be punished." Tears fell from Rose's eyes quietly. "You're in there somewhere aren't you, knowing what's coming next?" Justin said, searching her dead eyes.

Rose shook her head in the affirmative slowly. "You really are a terrible friend to Iris Rose, and that is unforgivable. And when you get home you are going to become despondent over all of the trouble you've managed to get into in your life. And you are going to decide that there is only one way to end your suffering. Aren't you?"

Rose nodded her head in the affirmative again, as more tears sprang silently from her eyes. Justin leaned down and kissed her deeply. He pulled away and stood up. "It's a shame really sweetheart. I did so want to show you the depths of your own depravity. Which I assure you, you've only begun to understand at this late stage in your life." Justin started to walk out of the room and when he got to the door he turned around. "And falling in love with Jack? This is really a mercy killing my dear, it would have only been a matter of time before you tried to make a move on him yourself. Now get up and put on a happy face sweetheart. I'd hate for Iris to worry over you for a second. You're really not worth the effort."


	43. Chapter 43

Jack opened the door and Bruce was standing in front of him, in his priest's collar and suit. Bruce looked disheveled. Alarm rang through Jack's body; a cool sweat of panic broke across his skin. Never in all his days had Jack seen Bruce look disheveled. And Jack had never seen Bruce in the habit he used to wear years ago, before he was a detective, before he'd met Jean and fallen in love. Jack had heard the story, only once, but it wasn't the kind of story you forget. Jack motioned for Bruce to enter.

Bruce took a seat at Jack's kitchen table and watched quietly as Jack made coffee. Jack tried to smile at his friend when their eyes met occasionally, but Bruce wouldn't return the sentiment, instead looking down. Bruce fished a stack of old folded papers from his pocket. They were folded like letters ready to be put into envelopes. Bruce tapped his pink fingers along the edges of them. They were yellowed with age. There was one on top that looked much newer.

Jack sat down handing Bruce a cup of coffee, Bruce waved it off. Jack took a sip from his own cup. He wanted to lighten the mood somehow. "Come on Bruce. She's not dead is she?"

Bruce looked up at Jack, all the color gone out of his pink complexion. He looked like a rather somber thing with grey skin and white hair and hazel eyes. And his black habit and collar did little to add to the image. Bruce looked like the specter of a once jovial Holy man. "Remember what I told you about when I took my vows, that if I had taken them before I met Jean I would have suffered my sensual love for her rather than quit the priesthood."

Jack's stomach turned. "Yeah. You were Catholic, you wouldn't have been able marry."

"That's how important my faith is to me Jack. The decision not to take my vows was one of the hardest I ever made." Bruce adjusted his collar and took it off, setting it down on the table. He ran a hand through his white hair. "I learned something from that I've used in my work." Bruce looked up at Jack and Jack looked at him with his eyebrows lifted. "Love is some serious shit."

Jack laughed and took at sip of his coffee. "Amen." Jack looked at Bruce who wasn't laughing or even smiling yet. "Look Bruce, when I said I need your expertise I meant, the fact that you weren't me."

Bruce looked down at the folded papers in front of him. "I know what you meant. I also know what Iris means to you, and what getting inside of her life would mean. And I'm a damn good detective. Too good maybe. Jean told me not to tell you."

Jack's stomach turned again and he thought he might be sick. If Bruce had told Jean about it, it meant that it had to be bad. "What did you find Bruce?"

Bruce pushed the stack of letters toward Jack. "Heaven help me. Never in my life Jack have I thought about destroying evidence before."

Jack took the letters into his arms and started to open the top one.

"No. Not while I'm here, I don't think I can bear it." Bruce breathed out and rubbed his forehead. "Or maybe I should be here….for you."

"What are these Bruce?"

"Some women keep journals. She wrote letters she never sent. Most of them are from when she was living in St. Paul. But the top one is about you, about now, and she doesn't waste any time. It's addressed to Rose."

Jack opened the letter and read the first line.

I've always been in love with my brother.

Jack looked up at Bruce quickly. "I think I'd like to be alone." Jack's voice was broken, and already there were tears in his eyes.

Bruce nodded at Jack as he stood up. "Call me if you get desperate, or…." Bruce looked around and then back down at Jack. "Call me."

Jack looked down at the letters and back up at Bruce. "What am I gonna find here?"

"I've seen a lot of things Jack, but I've never felt real danger of Hell until I stepped foot in that house."

§§§

There was a strange atmosphere when everyone converged in the dining room for lunch. Sofie focused her attentions on Caleb and he smiled at her between frowns in Justin's direction which mystified her. Rose seemed subdued, though to a stranger she would have seemed charming and polite. Iris huddled into herself at the table, constantly looking from the neckline of her dress to the table and adjusting it. Justin seemed more raptor like than usual, looming more than sitting at the head of the table. There wasn't much conversation.

After lunch they all sat on the veranda looking out at the property and drinking coffee. Caleb talked about his practice in the City, and Sofie asked him questions eagerly. When Sofie asked Rose questions about her life in Hollywood, Rose deflected them, saying that they were merely "silly old stories" and looking deeply into her coffee cup, stirring.

"Are you alright Rose?" Caleb sat up and placed a hand on his mother's shoulder. Rose looked up as though she was shocked at his presence.

"Of course Caleb, I'm just tired" she said wiping the hair out of her face, "I'm not as young as I used to be. I think perhaps you were right about me slowing things down a bit."

"You know that you are always welcome to stay here Rose" Justin said, smiling before taking a sip of his coffee.

"The guest bedroom is already ready for you" Sofie chimed in. She looked over at Caleb and smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear, "and I could have a room ready for you in no time."

Caleb looked at Justin with a blunt edge to his features. "Thank you for the hospitality, but I think it would be best for me and my mother to return home where I can better take care of her."

"I'm not ill" Rose said dispassionately. "Just tired Caleb."

"Rose, still, I'd feel more comfortable in an environment where I could take care of you should it turn out you've caught a bug." Caleb reached out a hand and pressed it to Rose's cheek, "you really don't look well, and you were fine this morning, at this rate you might be quite ill by sundown."

"I've never met a physician before" Sofie said smiling.

"Caleb has a wonderful bedside manner" Iris said, "He makes you feel very comfortable."

A slight drizzle began to fall, but the sun was still shining.

"There'll be a rainbow" Iris said looking off towards the line of trees at the edge of the yard.

"When did you have occasion to be examined by Caleb?" Justin straightened in his chair, looking at Iris, but she didn't look back at him.

"I had a little too much to drink" Iris said as she stood up "you'll excuse me" she said. Iris walked off the veranda and out into the rain before anyone could respond.

Everyone turned their head to watch as Iris meandered across the yard. Seemingly out of nowhere Christopher appeared, running up to Iris. Christopher took off his button down shirt revealing a sparkling white long sleeved undershirt. He held his flannel over Iris's head. Iris looked up at it, and turned to Christopher, touching his cheek. Christopher withdrew the flannel and took Iris's arm leading her through the trees.

"Who is that?" Caleb asked, turning and looking at Sofie.

"No one really knows" she said, looking over at Justin before continuing. He was just watching Iris disappear. "He's mute or something. No one can figure if he can't talk or his simple minded, you know, and idiot or something."

"You mean if he's dumb or an imbecile?" Caleb corrected.

"He's a stray that Iris picked up down in the camps." Justin said as he watched the last sliver of white from Iris's dress disappeared behind the dark branches. "Follows her around like a dog, the minute she steps off the porch, there he is."

"Isn't that a bit dangerous" Caleb said looking at Justin and Sofie "No offense but hard times can make men into monsters" he looked over at Justin "and you can only know a man so much."

"My sister has a great capacity for love Caleb" Justin said, looking directly at the boy "it hardly seems Christian to talk her out of such charity." Justin took another sip of his coffee.

"I've sensed that about her" Caleb said, focusing more on Justin "it seems though, that that quality might be abused by mean spirited people, in my time working at the clinics in the City, I've learned that some people are just bad, no reason for it. They just wait for people like Iris."

"You may not see them Caleb, but there are eyes on my sister at all times. Since the attempts on my life, it has been necessary to install security measures all around New Canaan." Justin narrowed his eyes at Caleb.

"What about privacy then?" Rose chimed in, "It seems a bad trade off to me."

Justin looked at Rose and smiled, wetting his lips slightly "Of course eyes watch from a distance, and they guards are kept in separate quarters from the rest of the migrants, so there is less temptation to sit around gossiping like women at a Rotary meeting." Justin winked at Sofie, and she let out a giggle.

Caleb looked over at Sofie, frowning. "You're mother managed to make quite an impression at the local Women's Rotary in Mintern" Sofie explained, looking over at Rose.

"Yeah," she said looking off into the distance "I came in dripping wet and it stirred things up amongst the uppity bitches in town."

"Rose" Caleb said leaning forward.

Rose suddenly looked around the table, as if she'd just come out of a trance. "Oh," she said setting down her coffee cup and bringing a hand to her chest "forgive me Justin, I was just thinking out loud. I really mustn't be feeling well." Rose looked around the table. "Where's Iris?"

"I think Rose" Justin said setting down his coffee cup "she's gone to the meadow."

"What's the meadow?" Caleb asked.

"A little place she goes to think, and, teach Christopher to read I think." Justin said. "She must have something on her mind. Or maybe Iris and Christopher had an arrangement. I try not to step too much into her affairs."

"Your sister is very mysterious" Caleb said.

"I've known Iris for over twenty years, and I don't think I could really tell you the first thing about her" Rose said dreamily. "Strange, I could feel so strongly for someone I hardly understand"

"I'm sorry, I don't think I get what you mean" Sofie said, looking at Rose inquisitively.

"Oh," Rose said, sitting up straight as though she'd woken again from a trance, she looked around the table "nothing little girl, just some nonsense" she laughed. "I'm really not feeling myself at all." Rose smiled sheepishly at Caleb. "When Iris comes back, perhaps we'd best get on the road. I think you might be right."

"Iris might be awhile" Sofie said "Sometimes she's gone for hours away from the house."

"I don't want to leave without saying goodbye," Rose said, slumping down in her chair "but maybe we'll have too."

"I'm sure she'll understand Rose" Caleb said grabbing his mother's hand and smiling. "Iris can always visit you; she's only a few hours away from you at any time."

§§§

"Christopher?" Iris asked as they stood side by side at the edge of the river in the rain, watching the white linen of the tent puff and ruffle in the light breeze between the long trunks of the trees that lined the meadow, her sanctuary.

Christopher grabbed Iris's hand and squeezed. Iris's felt a wave of nausea move through her body. In her mind she saw everything falling apart, the whole world burning up like the ministry. She could hear the breaking glass as the heat exploded the windows in the orphanage as she hid in the shadows watching it happen. Iris felt like a completely different person from the woman who had done such a terrible thing, and yet she felt all too much the same. She felt now a sense that she must protect what was left around her. She could feel herself sectioning off her emotions, already quarantining Jack from her heart. Leaving Justin was out of the question, and so was telling Jack. Iris could think of no way to silence Caleb, and that once Caleb told Jack, Jack would tell Rose and then Justin would destroy them all.

"I want you to destroy it" Iris said. "I want you to take it apart like it never existed."

"Are you sure?" Christopher asked.

"Yes. Do it today" Iris turned to Christopher and looked him in the eye. "And then I want you to go away, I don't ever want to see you again."

Christopher's face crumbled, and a single tear feel down his face. "Why?"

"He'll hurt you" Iris said, "Now don't argue with me, I want you to disappear, do you hear me. If you show up again" Iris looked at him and grabbed his face in her hands, "I will be very angry with you, do you understand."

"I can protect you" Christopher said pulling Iris's hands away from his face, "I've killed a man before, I'm not afraid."

Iris let a tear fall and brushed it away quickly, "Don't be foolish Christopher, he will toy with you and he will destroy with you out of pure petulance."

Christopher stared at her for a moment, "I won't go away" he said.

"Yes, you have to, you have to do what I say" Iris said and she walked away, not looking back. Iris walked back up toward the house, stopping at a small cluster of trees where she could see the top of the tent peeking up over the trees that bound in her meadow. The rain stopped falling and a long thin rainbow arched over the distance in the foothills. She watched as the white of the tent down below slowly fell down into the inky dark of the trees, and dropped her head. Christopher's smile flashed in her mind and she looked back up. The landscape looked suddenly rugged and uncivilized, as though she'd never been there.

Iris turned around and headed back to the house, feeling a hardening along the chamber of her heart where she tucked Christopher and the Meadow away for safety.

§§§

Jack sat at his kitchen table looking at all the unfolded sheets of paper scattered across the kitchen floor and along his counter and the table top. He laid the last one down in front of him. The image of Iris sitting on a kitchen table with her skirt hiked up around her waist and Justin shirtless and on his knees with his head buried between her legs as she sank her fingernails into his shoulder blades and cried out in ecstasy as tears streamed down her face overtook his thinking. Nausea rose up through Jack and he ran to the bathroom, tearing across sheets of paper on the floor. As he heaved into the toilet more images came, every detailed encounter, revisiting a small bedroom where Iris laid sweating and naked as her brother thrust into her half dressed in his priest habit during a study recess, covering her mouth as she whispered for him to stop, and finishing inside her with a crude grunt before collapsing on top of her.

Jack stood up and looked at himself in the mirror. He rinsed his mouth out with water. His mind rested on the image of Iris alone in the apartment in St. Paul brushing her teeth, staring at the unopened green box of sanitary napkins and counting the number of days in the month and praying, then counting again, and praying. Jack spit and looked at himself in the mirror again. "What are we gonna do?" Jack dropped his head down and let out a single sob. He breathed in sharply and looked up at himself, feeling everything falling apart from his eye sockets to his ankle bones. He looked into his reflection and tried to settle himself. "Think man, think" he begged his reflection. He stared at himself for a beat before dissolving into quiet tears. Panic moved over Jack. He rubbed at his arms, and ran a hand through his hair before looking up at his reflection. There was a painful catch in his throat. He looked at his reflection pleadingly. "I can't."


	44. Chapter 44

After dinner Iris went quietly up to her room. She was going to wash her face and get dressed for bed, she had her nightgown in her hand, when she sat down on the corner of her bed and got lost there. Images of Jack on top of her coupled with images of Justin. Rose's smiling faces saying the word "incestuous" as the table at the diner, wouldn't leave her. Iris recalled the feeling of the crisp air on her chest as Caleb had pulled down the front of her shirt, and she rested her hand on her chest. She was unaccustomed to the feel of her skin, of the tops of her breast under her hand. She thought of Rose standing in the mirror next to her at the dress shop in San Francisco, as she reached her hands under Iris's arms and playfully cupped the undersides of her breasts, adjusting their fit in the bodice of the dress.

There was a knock at the door. Iris set her nightgown down and walked to the door, but before she could open it, Justin entered. Iris stared at him. Justin smiled and closed the door behind him. Iris smiled back at him weakly; she didn't have it in her to make love to him again.

Justin walked toward her and let out a little laugh. "Relax, Ira" he said reaching out to her and drawing her to him. He kissed her on the head and then along her cheeks, before taking her face in his hands and kissing her deeply on the mouth. He pulled away and smiled down at her, dropping his hands to her shoulders. "I just want something simple from you." Justin pushed down on her shoulders and Iris dropped to her knees in front of him.

Iris's stomach turned, she sat back on her heels and looked up at him. His expression was blank. Iris sat up on her knees and began to unbuckle his pants and he grabbed her hands quickly. Iris looked up at him again. "No, not that" he said looking down at her and smiling again, but smirking. "I want you to confess." Justin dropped to his knees in front of Iris, so he was looking her in the eye. "So that you may be forgiven."

The hair on Iris's arms stood up. She wasn't sure what he was up to. "I don't understand" she said. Sitting back on her heels again.

Justin reached out and stroked her face sweetly. "Its okay Iris, Rose told me that she took you to see Jack, and that you didn't know" Justin said smiling at her. "Now I just want to know everything that happened between you two, from the beginning. I want you to tell me everything, so that I can forgive you your sins."

Iris felt a warm blush moving over her whole body. She felt hot and cold at the same time. She wasn't sure what she was being asked to say, she could feel the roots of every single hair on her head. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything Iris, every place that he touched you, everything that you felt, everything that you said," Justin said, grabbing Iris's hands and massaging them in his. "You're fingers are cold, you're scared." Iris looked up at him. "Don't be Ira, I will forgive you."

"No, I don't want to tell you that" Iris said, withdrawing her hands quickly and dropping her head. "Why would you want to know something like that?"

"I want to know every place that you gave away to him" Justin said, his voice getting louder. "Where did he put his mouth? Where did he taint your body?"

Iris felt her body starting to tremble against her own volition. She looked up at Justin. "Everywhere" she whispered. She looked down at the floor. "He touched me everywhere, and I touched him everywhere. We were intimate about ten times."

"How did it start?" Justin leaned forward and lifted Iris's chin so she had to face him. "Look me in the eye and tell me how you betrayed me."

Iris shook her head free of his hand and scrambled to stand up. "No Justin, I won't do this."

Justin grabbed her arm and forced her back down on the ground on her knees. Iris flinched as pain shot through her body from the bruises on her kneecaps. "No Iris, you will tell me everything!"

"Stop this Justin. Why are you doing this?" Iris tried to shift off of her knees.

"What's wrong with your knees?" Justin said.

A bolt of adrenaline went through Iris's body. She grabbed at the hem of her dress and tired to pull it down to the floor.

Justin pushed her back and grabbed at her stockings, ripping them from their garters and pulling them down to her ankles. He grabbed her left kneed and brought it close to his face. He dropped her leg and grabbed her shoulders. "Where did you get these?"

"Praying, I got them from praying." Iris said quickly, her eyes searching Justin's face.

"Lying bitch! You got these from sucking his dick like a common whore" Justin said throwing Iris down to the ground.

"I told you I fucked him!" Iris heard herself say. Instantly she recoiled ready for him to slap her. She felt Justin grab her arm and begin pulling her. She heard the seam on her dress rip. Justin dragged her into the bathroom. Iris sensed her impending doom and felt something inside of her break lose, and she couldn't silence herself. Justin was holding on to her hair with one hand, and with the other searching through her bathroom drawers, scattering things and throwing them to the floor. "Everything I gave to you I gave to him."

Iris saw something metal glint in Justin's hand and then he pulled her back hard by the hair, she heard a familiar metallic clipping sound. "This is your penance" Justin said behind her, and she felt something feathery falling down her back, and then he released her. Justin stood up quickly and forced her to stand and pushed her in front of the mirror.

Iris's eyes began to well immediately. He had cut her hair and it now fell along the line of her chin. She looked at him in the mirror and his eyes were clouded over in a molted black. He was heaving. "Look at yourself. This is the face of betrayal" Justin said. He quickly turned her around so her back was pressed against the sink counter. He pushed her up onto the counter and buried his head in her lap, crying violently.

Iris felt numb. Justin moved his head up Iris's torso. "You were never to fall in love with someone else. Never, no matter what" he said in a broken voice. Justin looked up and grabbed Iris by the throat, pushing her back into the mirror. "If I didn't love your face so much I'd cut it. I'd take away your beauty."

Tears were streaming down Iris's face. "What is it? Why do you love him and not me? What did I ever do but love you?" Justin pushed Iris back down to the floor and she looked up at him.

"I've taken Rose from you as punishment for this time. The next time you see him I'll take someone else, and another, and another, and another."

Iris crawled to Justin's feet and climbed up to his knees. "Please don't take Rose, please. I'll do anything you want." Iris was crying hysterically now.

"I gave you a chance to do the right thing Iris, but you insist on sinning. It's in your nature. You are an evil thing, and every time you see him, I'll take another, and another and another." Justin said as he shook Iris loose from his leg.

Iris sat quietly on her bathroom floor, she looked up at him, and then down at her hair all around her legs. Justin retreated from the bathroom. A rage moved through Iris and she stood up quickly running after Justin and jumping on his back. "I hate you!" she screamed. Justin threw her onto the bed, and came after her. Fear quickly replaced the anger as she took in his blacked out eyes. He looked like a charging bull to her and she tried to scramble across the bed, but he caught her. He ripped the stocking completely off of her leg and grabbed her wrists, quickly binding them together and weaving the stalking around the slats in her head board.

"You hate me?" Justin said as he straddled her and took off his jacket and then unbuttoned his shirt. Iris was looking at him through wet wide eyes. She twisted her hands and fingers, which were already beginning to turn bright red. Blood was peeking out from under the nylon bound around her wrists and digging into her flesh. "You have no idea how merciful I am, but now you will." Justin pulled her other stocking off of her leg and balled it up and shoved it in her mouth. Iris was still kicking her legs underneath him and trying to twist her hips so he couldn't pin her, but it was no use, Justin was much to large for her.

Iris tried screaming, but the sound was too muffled. Tears were burning her eyes as they streamed down her cheeks, and she felt as though she might suffocate.

"Keep screaming Iris, you know just what I like" Justin said as he slid his belt out of the belt loops around the waist of his pants.

There was a knock at the door. Justin brought his finger to his mouth and looked at Iris. She was heaving and her hands were turning a shade of purple.

"Iris, there's a phone call for you, it's very urgent" Sofie said through the door.

"My sister is feeling very ill Sofie." Justin called out.

"It's very important." Sofie called back.

"Take a message Sofie; have them call back, something." Justin said, his voice half breaking.

"No." Sofie called back. "Caleb is waiting on the line."

Justin got up and retrieved the scissors from the bathroom and cut off the tie around Iris's wrists. Justin pulled the gag out from Iris's mouth. He pulled her up and walked her to the door. He stood behind it and looked at her sternly. "We're not done here" he whispered, and then he turned the knob and opened the door.

Sofie looked at Iris with a strange expression, and then looked past her at the chaos in her room. She looked at Iris again. "Caleb is on the phone for you, there's been an accident."

Iris's stomach dropped and she pushed past Sofie to walk downstairs.

Sofie tried to peek into Iris bedroom when the door suddenly slammed shut.

§§§

"Hello' Iris said into the phone, trying to hold back the tears that were already threatened to flood from her body. She looked down at her wrists and saw they were raw and bloody. She shuddered.

"Iris, Rose is in the hospital. I got her home and left for the clinic and when I came home she was unconscious on the couch. She found a bottle of ether and drank it all" Caleb sighed into the phone and she could tell he'd been crying. "I don't think it was an accident."

Iris sobbed into the phone. "I'm so sorry Caleb" she said.

Caleb cried for a minute then breathed in deeply. "I don't think she's going to hold out too long. If you want to say your goodbyes, you'd better come quickly."

"There's nothing you can do for her?" Iris held her hand over her mouth, trying not to sob.

"Not anymore." Caleb said.

"I'm on my way" Iris said "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Iris hung up the phone and looked down the hall. Sofie was standing in the kitchen looking at her. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Yes, I don't think I can drive in this condition" Iris said before giving up and sobbing fully.

Sofie ran to Iris and hugged her, walking her into the kitchen. "Just sit here, I'll pack you a bag and we'll be on our way. Don't worry about anything."

Sofie disappearing through the living room and Iris sat reeling at the table. A long shadow fell over her and she looked up.

Justin was standing before her in his overcoat and scarf holding up Iris's own coat. "Come on my dear" he said, shaking the coat almost like a bullfighter. Iris got up slowly from her chair and walked over to him, sliding her arms into her coat. Justin turned her around and focused on buttoning up her jacket. "Best thing for her really' he mumbled as he neared the top button and looked her in the eye.

Justin moved to the door and Sofie came up behind Iris carrying her bag. "It'll be okay Iris" Sofie said, taking Iris's arm and leading her out to the car.

§§§

Caleb was waiting outside of the hospital room in a chair when they arrived. Caleb quickly stood and grabbed Iris, pulling her into a hug. The rocked like that for a moment.

"Why aren't you inside?" Iris looked at Caleb full of panic.

"I can only read the doctor's notes so many times Iris. It'll drive me crazy." Caleb said pulling her away from Justin and Sofie.

"Can I see her?" Iris looked into the doorway, but there was a curtain obscuring the view of the bed. "She doesn't get her own room?"

Caleb stepped into her line of vision. "She's critical care right now Iris."

Iris began crying. Justin's hand was suddenly sliding around her shoulders. Caleb looked up at the sudden intrusion. "If there's anything I can do to help" Justin said smiling with genuine affect down at Caleb.

"Thank you" Caleb said, before looking away quickly at Sofie standing apart from everyone on the other side of the hallway. "Hello Sofie" Caleb said.

Sofie nodded and took a seat quietly. A couple emerged from a neighboring room, a man and a woman of similar height and coloring. Both dirty blonde and freckled in plain navy pea coats. The woman rushed up to Justin. "Aren't you Justin Crowe" she whispered and she clung to the sleeve of his jacket.

Justin turned to face her. "Yes" he said. "Could you maybe sit with our daughter for a few moments? She's taken ill with a fever and it doesn't look good" the woman said, tears beginning to stream down her face.

"Come on Penny," the man said pulling at his wife, "I'm sure Brother Crowe is here to tend to his own sick."

Justin stepped forward. "It's quite alright. I'd be happy to pray over your daughter" Justin reached out a hand and lifted the woman's chin "Penny". Justin smiled and disappeared into the neighboring hospital room.

Caleb pulled Iris past the door into Rose's room and huddled close to her. He looked over at Sofie. "I'm going to have brief word with Iris Sofie" he called out softly.

Sofie nodded her head and looked away.

Caleb pulled Iris further down the hallway and back into an alcove. He pushed her against the wall and held her face in his hands, so that their eyes could meet. "Iris," he began in a whisper, "next to my mother was a piece of paper that had your brother's name written on it, and the word sorry. On the way over here she regained consciousness once, said your brother's name and then faded away again." Caleb's eyes searched Iris's and his grip on her face got tighter. "Do you have any idea why?"

Iris just looked at him, her lips trembling. Tears fell down her face. "You know as well as I do they had a long talk this morning after the service."

Caleb ran a hand down her cheek, and then he grabbed a piece of her hair and ran his fingers down its length examining it. He looked back up at her, and his features crumbled into tears. "What did he do to her?"


	45. Chapter 45

A throng of doctors rushed by Caleb and Iris tucked away in their alcove. They both looked. Caleb's hold in Iris tightened. "What is it?" Iris looked at Caleb who was still staring out into the hall. Caleb didn't answer. He dropped his hands down and grabbed Iris's sleeve and pulled her after him as he hurried into the hall and back towards the room Rose was in. Caleb looked in to the room and quickly leaned back out, leaning against the wall and letting out a sigh of relief.

"Thank God" he said, turning to look at Iris. "That's an awful thing to say I know. I thought she was passing. It's the man next to her."

Iris peeked around Caleb into the room and saw several nurses and two doctors hovering around a bed in the far corner of the room. She looked over one bed and saw the edge of Sofie's coat behind the opening of the curtain around Rose's bed. Iris tried to enter but Caleb stopped her. "Wait for them to get through."

Caleb turned Iris's hand in his. "Good God Iris!"

Iris turned to look at him, and then looked down at her hand in his. Her wrist was raw and bloodied. A frayed red line encircled the slender joint of her hand. She tried to pull her hand away but Caleb wouldn't let her. Iris looked down at the floor. "Leave it be Caleb" Iris said.

Caleb ran a hand down the side of Iris's hair. "Are you going to tell me that you consented to this? You want me to believe that you enjoy what he does to you, but I've seen awful things, and this kind of mark, comes from a violent struggle to get free" Caleb pulled her close so he could whisper in her ear "not the feigned helplessness of some sexual game."

Iris looked at Caleb. "Please don't talk like that, these are things you should never have to concern yourself with" Iris lifted her hands to her mouth like she was saying a prayer "such a sweet young man, I've brought so much sorrow on you." Iris's eyes began to well and collapsed into her hands, crying quietly.

"Here he comes now" Caleb whispered.

Iris felt her brother's familiar arms wrap around her and begin to stroke her hair. The catch in Iris's throat was threatening to choke her, and she didn't care if she was seeking solace in the arms of the very one who caused her strife. Iris turned into Justin's arms and pressed her face in close to his chest and sobbed while he held her and kissed the top of her head. "It's alright" he would coo once in awhile until Iris was standing silently in his arms, loosed of every last tear.

Iris pulled away from Justin and pushed away from him without looking at him. She walked to the bed Rose was in, and she drew the curtain back. Caleb sat on one side of her and Sofie on the other. They both looked up at her. Rose looked beautiful even as a specter of death. "It looks as though she's just sleeping peacefully" Iris said, tilting her head.

Sofie was holding Rose's hand and watching her face intently. "She looks like she's doing a little better to me" Sofie said looking at Caleb. "Maybe someone should examine her again."

Caleb looked up at Iris and then over at Sofie, his eyes welling slightly. "I'm afraid that's impossible Sofie. There's really no coming back from where she is barring a miracle."

Sofie looked at Iris and then at Caleb again. She leaned over Rose's body to emphasize her point. "Caleb, I'm serious, someone should look at her again, I'm sure of it."

Caleb looked between the two women. "Iris, why don't you take my place and I'll see if I can find her doctor."

Caleb left them and Iris took Caleb's seat. Iris took Rose's hand and it felt surprisingly soft and warm. Sofie looked over at Iris. "Just let me stay until the doctor comes, I just don't want to leave her until he gets here."

Iris nodded her head yes.

A few moments later the screen opened and a man who looked to be Iris's age was standing there in a suit. "Hello, I'm Dr. Burnett" he said reaching out a hand to Iris. She shook it. He had a firm brief handshake. "I was getting ready to leave for the evening, but Caleb said that one of you was insistent I take another look at Ms. Darling."

"I really would appreciate it doctor" Iris said casting a look over at Sofie. The two women stood up and moved out of the man's way as he began examining Rose, comparing her charts and measuring her vital signs. "Is that Justin Crowe in the hallway?" The doctor didn't look up from his task.

"Yes, that's my brother" Iris said flatly.

"Well then, perhaps we'll have a couple miracles before the night is over" the man looked up at Iris coolly. "If those radio broadcasts are to be believed."

"Experience hasn't improved your bedside manner has it doctor?" Iris said before she could really think.

The doctor didn't flinch. "Point taken", he said before returning to what he was doing. The doctor stood upright and turned to the two women, and then looked past them at Caleb. His expression shifted to one of surprise. "She's improved, drastically. Well her vitals anyway. Her body seems to have stabilized. She still seems to be comatose, but it's almost as if all she needs to do is wake up."

"How can that be?" Caleb pushed his way up to the head of the bed to stand next to the older doctor. "How is that possible?"

"The patient next to her was doing well and then suddenly took a bad turn. Sometimes Caleb, things defy explanation. Of course we'll have to run more tests tomorrow." The two doctors looked at the women standing at the foot of the bed. "Perhaps we should continue this in the hall", the older doctor said.

The two men exited and Iris cast a look at Sofie. Sofie smiled up at Iris and touched her shoulder before making her way out into the hall as well. Iris sat down next to Rose and laid her head down on her stomach. "You never could understand the bad in people could you Rose? No matter how much I warned you, you insist on believing the best of human nature" Iris said through tears. Iris looked up at Rose, and ran a hand along her forehead. "You were the great love of my life I think; I just didn't know how to say it."

Iris left the bedside and headed out into the hallway. Caleb and Sofie were standing next to each other and Justin was seated on the opposite side of the hallway, with his hands steepled in his lap. They all looked up at her. Iris looked from face to face. She focused on Caleb. "Is there a church nearby?"

Caleb looked back toward Justin, then down the hall and back then back at Iris. "There's a chapel here in the hospital" he said.

"No, a real church" Iris said.

"Across the street and down a block there's a Catholic church. I don't recall the name of it." Caleb looked over at Sofie and towards Justin again and then back to Iris. "Surely you can pray anywhere. I'm sure your prayers would be more useful close by."

"I'll be back" Iris said. She turned and headed down the hallway toward the main corridor leading out of the hospital.

"Iris, wait, I'll walk with you." Justin called out gathering up his coat and running after Iris.

Iris spun around quickly. "No," she said holding up her hand "you stay with Sofie and Caleb. Justin came closer to her so they were standing face to face. "Justin please, let me go."

Justin looked down at her, and his eyes narrowed. "I don't trust you" he whispered.

"Brother Justin Crowe?" a voice called out across the hall. Justin and Iris both looked. There was a group of nurses approaching them. They all looked similar in height and build, only there eye and hair color seemed to vary. They were candy stripers. A dark complexioned girl near the front with tightly pinned dark hair spoke up again. "We work in the pediatrics ward and we heard you were here. We were hoping you might be willing to visit some of the children." She smiled.

"He would be delighted to" Iris said smiling widely at the young women. "Wouldn't you Justin?"

Justin looked down at Iris scowling. She looked up at him, not smugly, but defiantly. Justin turned to face the young women. "Of course I would" he smiled at the girls. "You ladies lead the way, any way that I can help a child" he said.

The girls giggled behind their leader, who remained stoic and serious. Iris recalled her own image as a young girl. Instinctively she looked for the Rose in the group and a new pang of sorrow shot through her body. Iris watched as the girls led Justin down a hallway she hadn't even noticed before. Just before he turned the corner he cast a look at her and lifted his arm to point at his watch, and he held up one finger. Iris nodded and turned and walked into the corridor.

A chill went up her legs as a draft from outside gusted down the large breezeway from the front doors. Doctors and nurses criss-crossed in front of her field of vision. Some of them looked up from their clipboards at her as she passed them. One nurse looked straight at her wrists, peeking out from the cuffs of her coat. Iris instinctively drew her arms up into the sleeves. She passed by a room full of invalids waiting to be seen by a doctor. She made eye contact with a young girl who looked to be about nine months pregnant. She rubbed her belly and looked away quickly, ashamed. Iris smiled at her turned head and stepped out into the brisk night air.

§§§

Iris sat in the confessional booth staring at her feet. The tension was rising through her body. She wanted to pray for Rose, but she was overcome with the feeling that God wouldn't hear her prayers until she confessed her sins.

"Well go on my child" the voice said through the lattice work partition "what is it you'd like to confess?"

Iris stared down at her feet. She felt dizzy. "I set a fire, and took the lives of innocent people." Iris began to weep quietly. "I thought it was for the greater good, but now I know it wasn't."

"Are you truly sorry for what you've done? Do you come to God with honest remorse?"

"There's more father."

"Go on."

"I have" Iris burst forth with fresh tears.

"Take your time." The voice said calmly.

"I have been living with my brother as his wife. We've been in a sexual relationship since I was twenty-four."

"My child" the voice said, betraying shock "you must stop this relationship immediately."

Iris moved down to her knees in the cramped compartment. "I don't believe I can father, I believe he'll kill me." Iris began sobbing, "I want to die father! There is no end to this suffering."

"My child, God loves all of his creatures. All sins are equal in the eyes of God, and you are forgiven them. But you cannot receive absolution until you vow to never again commit these mortal sins. You must pray to God to be strong when you are threatened to commit the mortal sin of adultery with your brother. You must recite the prayer of contrition."

Iris leaned back on her heels, and bowed her head. "Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for the sins which I've committed, which are an offense to your character. Please help me to turn away from the evil which stalks me at every moment. Please forgive me for helping to raise my brother to power, this my gravest sin. Forgive me my love of him."

"God the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son, has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. "

Iris sat for a moment. The priest slid the panel across the lattice work between them, shutting her darkness. Iris bowed her head and said prayers for Rose. The door slid back open and Iris jumped.

"And remember my child; a prayer of intercession's power is not contingent on the person who performs it. Even an unrepentant sinner's prayer on behalf of another can have the power to heal another just as a penitent sinner's can."

The door slid shut again. Iris stepped out of the booth into the dimmed church. All the pews were empty. A sense of calm moved over her as she walked down the red carped aisle in the flickering candle light. She looked behind her and saw a priest kneeling at the altar, bowing his head in prayer. He turned his head and for a moment their eyes met. Iris turned away quickly and ran from the building.

Outside a warm gust of wind passed by quickly carrying a few leaves with it. The sky was clear and the stars seemed muted and sparse. Iris looked to her right and saw the lines of Victorian style houses disappearing into the fog. The warm yellow lights burning in scattered windows called to her. Iris looked to her left and saw the downhill slope of Victorian facades, interrupted by the large open edifice of the hospital, and the people scampering in and out under the streetlights, the women in their long light smocks and the doctors in their slacks and long white lab coats. A few couple huddled together in civilian clothing, clutching briefcases, or snuggling down into large coats.

A loud gonging sound erupted behind her and Iris turned around. The bell was ringing in the bell tower. She watched the large clapper glinting in the moonlight as it struck the sides of the bell, and new that she was running out of time. Iris oriented herself, and realized that she recognized where she was from drunken snippets of her walk with Caleb. He had pointed out the hospital to her before. Iris closed her eyes and tried to focus her memories. She realized that Jack's apartment was three blocks to the right, and two blocks up. Iris cast another look toward the hospital, and tried to calculate in her mind the time it would take to walk that distance. She wondered how far her and Jack could get if they started running right now. Iris turned her back to the hospital and started walking.

Butterflies swarmed in her stomach as she tried to close the distance of the first block, imagining Justin emerging from the hospital to check on her, and spotting her retreating figure. Iris took off her shoes, and eyed the length of sidewalk in front of her looking for any broken glass or other obstacles. The ground was cold on her feet as she ran. The faces of curious onlookers blurred on either side of her as she ran, until she found herself in front of Jack's door. She could tell the kitchen light was on. She bounded up the steps and pounded on the door. She was terrified and delirious and cold.

§§§

Jack stacked placed the stack of letters on the andiron in his fireplace. He sat in front of the fireplace and stared at them as he took another swig from his bottle of whiskey. He tried to focus on the stack of letters, but the stack multiplied into three separate stacks of letters before his eyes. Jack tried to lean forward tentatively and douse the paper with the last of the whiskey in his bottle, but he kept slipping and falling to his side. Finally Jack threw the bottle hard into the fireplace and it shattered over the letters and iron cradle, but not without scattering several of the letters across the bottom of the fire pit. Jack crawled over to the end table by the couch and opened the drawer. He pulled out the box of cigarettes inside, but dropped it, sending a dozen cigarettes rolling across the floor. Jack threw the box against the wall and grabbed one of the cigarettes, placing it roughly in his mouth.

Jack heard a loud pounding coming from somewhere. He turned quickly, narrowing his eyes and stood up. He perked his ears and followed the sound; he was halfway down the hall before he realized it was his front door. Jack turned on his heel and went back into his living room. He spotted the oversized lighter on his mantle and grabbed it. He stood rocking back and forth in place lighting his cigarette. He puffed it a few times when a loud pounding sound startled him and he dropped the heavy lighter, set in a heavy glass container to match the liquor bottles in his cabinet. It fell on his foot. Jack took the cigarette from his mouth. "Fuck that hurt!" he yelled, before putting the cigarette back in his mouth and limping toward the hallway. Jack got halfway to the door again, before remembering he didn't' want to answer it.

"Jack?" Iris called through the door.

Jack's heart began to race. A bolt of adrenaline shot through him. Jack raced to the door, not sober by a long shot, but suddenly, painfully aware of how drunk he really was. Jack opened the door as a wave of panic and nausea crashed over him.


	46. Chapter 46

"Angel" Jack said as he stood with the door open. Jack didn't know whether to smile or cry or yell at the woman before him. Her eyes looked red and swollen and her hair fell bluntly along her chin. Jack reached out impulsively and stroked her hair. "I loved your hair, why did you cut it?"

Iris smiled at him sheepishly. "It was time for a change I guess" she said, shrugging her shoulders, her voice was cracking and tears were threatening to rupture.

"It doesn't look that bad" Jack said laughing at her, "You don't have to cry."

Iris stepped inside and shut the door, wiping away the streams of tears that had fallen down her face. "God damn it Jack, why do you have to be drunk right now? Can't you see I need you?"

"Actually I'm drinking because of you Angel" Jack said, he pointed at her accusingly, "Because I found something out about you."

Iris looked at him tilting her head. Jack grabbed her by the arm and pulled her down the hall into the living room. Jack threw her down on the couch and looked at her. "Do you recognize these?" Jack fanned his arm out dramatically toward the fireplace, and the scattered letters that had managed to float down in front of it. Jack brought his forearm to his mouth and held it there, the realization dawning on him through his drunken haze of the exact content of the letters he was about to burn, and everything he now understood to be true about Iris Crowe.

Iris looked at Jack for a moment and then crawled towards the fireplace and picked up one of these sheets of paper, she unfolded it and began to read. Iris looked up at Jack and let the letter fall from her hands. "I'm gonna be sick" she whispered.

"That's okay Angel, I threw up too, a few times" Jack looked down at her. "I don't think I've ever been more disgusted in my life" he said lifting his eyebrows and swaying backwards slightly, as if he was talking about a bad movie he'd seen once. Iris just stared up at him. "It's alright baby" Jack said getting his bearings and looking at her seriously "I have no idea what to say either."

Iris looked around the room again. "Where did you get these Jack?"

"Doesn't really change the content does it Angel?" Jack said sitting down in the armchair across from the couch. Iris crawled to Jack's feet placing her hands on his knees. "I guess I should thank your brother for all the good times we had. He taught you everything you know. How many hours did you spend on your knees to learn how to do what you do so well?"

"Please Jack. It wasn't like that" Iris said.

"It wasn't Iris, because generally when you're fucking someone that's what it's like, fucking." Jack said leaning forward on his knees.

"Jack you're not even making sense" Iris said sitting back.

"I read the letters Iris, women and details," Jack rubbed his eyes and looked down at Iris more soberly "it wasn't some crazy circumstance Iris. He didn't leave an inch of your body uncovered. There wasn't a single way to fuck you that he didn't. I didn't realize how right I was when I called you a professional." Jack pushed Iris out of the way and stood up, pacing the living room.

"Please don't talk that way about me Jack" Iris said her voice almost disappearing inside her tears.

"God Iris, aren't you even going to defend yourself, or try to deny it?" Jack squatted down close to Iris. "Say something Angel. Tell me they were someone else's letters. Deny it please."

"I always thought Jack," Iris wiped at her face "I had all these things I thought I could tell someone should they ever suspect anything. But the truth is, no one would ever dare suggest such a thing, it's too awful." Iris dropped her head.

"You're damn right. Never in all my days have I seen something like this." Jack yelled. He grabbed her face and looked her in the eye. "What the fuck is wrong with you? What is this hold he has over you? Don't try to tell me different because I've seen it in your eyes, you don't want to be there."

"He was my brother, I couldn't reject him."

Jack looked at her pleading, "Why not?"

Iris's voice was almost gone, "He was all I had."

"Not anymore Angel, not for a long time." Jack brushed the hair out of her eyes.

"I did stop him. I stopped him for a long time."

"What happened?" Jack sat across from her on the floor, looking through her in the way that made her feel completely seen, and in this moment it was more than she could bear. Iris looked away.

"He started changing. He got powerful and he wanted his wife back." Iris said.

"He's sick. He leads people Iris. Don't you feel ashamed?"

"Of course I do!" Iris said as she looked up at Jack. The room fell silent. Jack stared at the floor. Iris stared at the letters scattered in the fireplace. She turned back and looked at Jack. "So now you know my big secret Jack, that thing you wanted to know so badly." Iris paused for moment. "Do you still love me? I dou…"

Jack snapped his up "Yes" he cut her off. "God help me, but yes I still love you." Jack crawled over to her and grabbed her face in his hands. Even like this I still want you." Jack kissed Iris pulling her to him and she crawled into his embrace kissing him back. Jack quickly unbuttoned her coat and began kissing her neck. Iris ran her fingers through his hair.

"Jack its like every time you touch me he was never there" Iris said as Jack pulled at the bodice of her dress. "What are we going to do? He'll never let me go" Iris said pulling away from him.

Jack looked at her searching her eyes, he was sober. "I'll kill him."

Iris jumped back and brought her hand to her mouth like she'd just been punched in the face. Her eyes went wide and she gasped. She brought her hand down slowly. "No Jack, you must never say things like that."

"Iris look at what he's done to your hair, your body, and your wrists." Jack grabbed her hands and brought them in front of her. "Look at what he does to you, he's killing you slowly."

"No Jack. He'll destroy you. You'll end up rotting away in jail for the rest of your life. Sacrificing the life of a good man for the stupid dreams of an old woman doesn't make sense Jack."

"We can't go on like this." Jack said pleading. "Why don't we run away?"

Iris shook her head. "No Jack, he would find a way to get to me. He found out about my visit here this weekend and that's what cutting my hair was punishment for, but he also managed to talk Rose into drinking a bottle of ether to make sure I wouldn't think about seeing you again. Don't you see, he promised he would hurt another one and another and another one. It's too dangerous. We can't see each other any more. It's the only way I can keep everyone safe."

"Rose drank a bottle of ether?"

"Yes. She's in the hospital right now in a coma, and she probably won't make it" Iris said beginning to cry hysterically, "that's my punishment. She's going to die because of my selfish desire to be near you."

"He's just a man Iris; he can't make someone kill themselves." Jack said pulling Iris close in his arms. "Rose had been depressed since the death of her husband, on top of the memories that meeting Caleb brought up, is it so unbelievable that she might take her own life? I could say I'm just as responsible."

Iris shook her head in Jack's arms. "No Jack. Please don't test him. Please don't make him prove to you what he is" Iris looked up at Jack.

"Please Jack, we have to say goodbye now. That's why I came here."

"No" Jack said pulling her to him tightly "I won't let you go. I'll find a way to see you."

Iris pulled away and grabbed her coat and tried to stand up. Jack stood up with her and watched as she put her coat on. Iris buttoned up her coat and looked at him. "They probably won't notice how long I've been gone if I leave now. Please Jack. Just forget you ever knew me." Iris ran down Jack's hall and out his front door.

Jack stood dumbfounded for a moment before running down his hallway. When he opened his front door Iris was standing there. "I take that back Jack. I don't want you to forget you ever knew me" Iris reached up and kissed him hard. Jack pulled her too him and kissed her back. Iris stepped back. "But please don't chase me Jack. Just know that if I ever could have a normal life I'd want it to be with you."

Jack watched as Iris disappeared down the street. Jack walked back into his house and stepped into the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face and looked at his reflection. "What just happened man?" Jack studied his reflection cocking an eyebrow. "You're gonna follow her. She's obviously crazy, but you're going to follow her" he told himself. "He's just a man, right?"



Caleb was sleeping sitting up with his head leaned back against the wall. Sofie took him in. His features settled pleasantly in her mind. Suddenly a vision of Caleb with his throat slit in his office flickered in her mind. A chill went across her skin. She tried to focus harder and call the image back until she was standing inside of it like a movie. She approached his dead body and saw that he was holding a scalpel in his right hand; she could see the blood pumping out of the gaping wound along his tender throat. Sofie looked at the desk in front of him. There was a note scribbled there.

_It seemed like the right thing to do._

_-C_

Sofie looked up from the desk and saw Justin standing in front of it. "Very good Caleb" he said, and suddenly the vision was gone. Sofie looked around the hallway, the lights were dimmed, but they were still alone. Sofie's heart was racing. She ran her eyes down Caleb's sleeping form again, lingering on his exposed throat. _Why would Justin want to hurt you?_ Sofie closed her eyes and tried to focus on the idea of Caleb. A rush of images came to her over a rush of words. She tried to pick out something, a phrase or lingering thought. "Ill expose you" she heard Caleb say, but the sound was disjointed, almost stuttering on itself. "I know about you and Iris" she heard him say.

Sofie could see Iris sitting next to Caleb as he leaned into her, she was stroking his hair. Sofie could feel the warmth of Iris's body and the gentle trace of her fingertips in her own hair. She looked over at Caleb again. _She's the mother you want isn't she? That's your heart's desire. Not Rose. No, no Caleb, that's going to destroy you. You can't bring her to you that way. _

Sofie saw Caleb pushing Iris up against a tree and pulling down the front of her dress. She could feel his rage boiling up in her as she took in the bite marks and bruises on Iris's chest. She saw Iris's exposed back and scratches running down one of her shoulder blades, and she could feel the rough texture of the scabbing tissue under her own fingertips. "He did this didn't he?" Caleb's voice was disembodied again.

Sofie looked around the hallway again, they were still alone. Sofie place her hands on Caleb's head. _Let me take those memories away from you_. Sofie focused on the images again, imagining them siphoning out of his psyche and into hers. She felt intense waves of longing and anger and sadness and shock and fear and disgust moving through her body. She felt Caleb shifting under her. Sofie quickly removed her hands.

"Sofie?"

Sofie smiled at Caleb. "You fell asleep for a moment" you should get some rest.

Caleb blinked and looked around. He stood up and looked down at her. "You're right, I'm going to see about getting a cot, we let visitors sleep in the rooms sometimes."

"I'll be here" Sofie said, looking back into the open door leading into the intensive care unit "keeping an eye on things."

Caleb smiled down at her. "You're a sweet girl Sofie" he said before turning and heading down the empty hallway out into the main corridor. Sofie crept back into the room with Rose and took a seat next to the bed. She took Rose's hand. She thought about Iris pacing the floors in the bedroom above hers back in New Canaan. She'd suspected and known plainly Justin's feelings on the matter, but somehow had never really allowed herself to think to much about what more sinister passions undercut the rivalry between Justin and Iris. Justin couldn't hide his thought much. It was always plain to Sofie that he felt a lust for Iris, but she'd imagined they'd always been restrained. Now as the images of Iris's ravaged body played through her mind she felt guilty. How could Iris have helped her mother, when Justin was doing it to her too?

Sofie focused on Rose in earnest trying to coax something out of her. _I know you're in there somewhere Rose. I'll be God damned if I'm going to let Justin win_.

"What are you doing Sofie?" Justin was standing on the other side of Rose.

"Praying" Sofie said.

Justin took a seat and took Rose's other hand and bowed his head in prayer.

Sofie closed her eyes and saw Rose coming toward her down a long hallway. Sofie called to her and tried to pull her as if by an invisible rope wrapped around Rose's waist. She felt a resistance growing, pulling at Rose from the other direction. This seemed to go on for a long time, the whole while the expression on Rose's face seemed vacant and oblivious.

Sofie began to feel a great force behind her, helping pull the rope, and Rose's face seemed to suddenly snap awake and she smiled brightly at Sofie and began trying to walk toward her, fighting against the force that kept trying to pull her back, until Rose was almost close enough to reach out and touch. Sofie felt Rose's hand tighten around hers. Sofie's eyes shot open.

"She squeezed my hand" she said turning to Justin.

"I didn't feel anything" Justin said.

"No, I saw it" Iris said.

Sofie and Justin turned at the sound and saw Iris standing at the foot of the bed smiling. She was looking directly at Rose. "I saw her whole arm tense up."

Justin looked back and forth between Sofie and Iris and stood up. "Here my dear, take my seat."

Iris slid into Justin's seat and he stood behind her. He rested one hand on her and whispered something into her ear before kissing her on the top of her head. Iris nodded and took Rose's hand in hers.

"I like your hair Iris" Sofie said "not all women can wear short hair. If you want I can clean it up a bit more when Rose gets better."

"I'd like that Sofie" Iris said smiling. "Nothing would make Rose happier than to wake up to the news that I'd finally gotten a haircut. She spent the whole weekend insisting my hair was too long for a woman my age." They both laughed. "You know once when Rose had the flu, when we were still at the Dahlia's, she was passing in and out of consciousness and I was taking care of her and she told me that she couldn't leave this world until I promised her that I would start wearing rouge in the winter time so I wouldn't look so pale."

Sofie smiled wide. "That was her dying request?"

"There I was worried about her salvation and she was worried that I'd never get a date." Iris smiled at Sofie and then at Rose. "I guess we've always been like strangers in a museum discussing a Surreat from up close and far away. Same paint and canvas, completely different ideas about what it's supposed to be."


	47. Chapter 47

Iris woke up to Sofie hovering over her. Iris looked around quickly and realized she was still in the hospital. She was lying on a cot under a thin blanket. Sofie was smiling. She held up a pair of scissors and snipped them in the air. "You might want to put some blush on" Sofie said "and let me have a go at those choppy ends."

Iris sat up straight. "She's awake?"

"She came to some time this morning. You fell asleep at her side last night and Justin carried you in here. You were both sleeping and me and Caleb went for a walk, and when we came back Rose's eyes were open. They've been running tests on her for awhile, and her speech is slow, but she's awake." Sofie rolled her eyes and smiled. "She said we weren't to bring you in until you looked ravishing, she said she wanted her first vision to be grand as she put it."

"Rose," Iris said laughing. She threw the covers back and set her feet on the ground.

Sofie looked at the bottoms of Iris's stockings. "I brought you fresh stockings and different dress, though that one seems to look better the longer you wear it."

Iris looked down at her self and realized her breasts were half hanging out of the low neckline. She quickly pulled up the bodice of her dress and blushed.



"My God" Rose said softly as Iris entered the hospital room "you look gorgeous Iris."

Iris blushed. She looked around the room and Caleb's eyes brightened, and Justin looked at the floor. "I'm supposed to be making you feel better remember?"

"Your hair, my prayers were answered; you look like a real modern woman Iris." Rose straightened up in her bed and extended her arms to Iris.

Iris quickly closed the distance between them and hugged her. "Don't you ever do that to me ever again you bitch" Iris whispered into Rose's ear.

"My word Iris, I don't think I've ever heard you curse" Rose said as she ran a hand through Iris's hair.

"You inspired the passions in me" Iris said sitting back "I thought you were going to leave me to raise your son."

The women laughed and shifted their gaze to Justin and Caleb standing in the corner of the room. Caleb seemed suspiciously relaxed standing next to Justin and Iris let her eyes linger on her brother Iris couldn't seem to read him. Her heart fluttered again thinking of the deal she'd made with Caleb the day before.

"Caleb seems to have warmed up to Justin while I was away" Rose said in a whisper. Iris looked down at her.

"What happened?"

"I got sad" Rose said quietly without flinching from Iris's gaze. A tear sprang from Iris's eye and Rose reached up and brushed it away. "You've cried too much."



Caleb shook Justin's hand and promised to visit New Canaan again soon. He lingered in his hug with Sofie and his eyes sparkled when he said that he was looking forward to seeing her again, and when he hugged Iris there wasn't a trace of subterfuge about it. Iris sat next to the window and listened as Justin recounted to Sofie the long conversation he'd had with Caleb about setting up an infirmary in the camps at New Canaan. Iris quickly surmised that Justin must have used some kind of wickedness to scrub Caleb's brain of all that he knew, or thought he knew, or thought he might use against Justin. She felt a weight lift off her and felt guilty for it; though she knew in the end it was what was best. She had thought the whole world would begin to unravel should anyone ever find out about the life that she and Justin led, and yet it seemed that entirely the opposite was true. That kind of revelation merely helped to circle the wagons around their life together in that house up on the hill.



Iris was sweeping up her hair from the bathroom floor. She looked up and saw Justin sitting on the edge of her bed. She knelt down and brushed her hair into the dustpan and emptied it into the wastebasket, smacking the dustpan loudly against the rim and looking over at him again. She stepped out into the bedroom and stood staring at him, a hand on her hip and the other leaning on the broom. Justin stared at her hips for a moment and then brought his eyes up to her face.

"What?" Iris leaned the broom against her armoire and walked over to Justin.

Justin pulled her close to him and reached up to stroke her necklace. Iris looked down at him and he dropped his hand away. Justin pulled Iris close and pressed his head into her pelvis, running his hands up the back of her dress, stroking the smooth skin on the backs of her knees.

"I've made a decision" Iris said, stroking Justin's hair affectionately. Justin looked up her. "I could have left you yesterday. Could have run away with Jack. I went and saw him." Justin squeezed her legs hard, pulling her onto his lap, so she was eye level with him.

"I would have come after you." Justin ran a hand along Iris's breast and kept it there, feeling her heart beat. Iris put her hand over Justin's pressing it into her flesh. Her heart was beating faster. "What stopped you?"

"I thought of all the things I've done. I couldn't help but wonder if maybe I would start this new life with Jack and then I'd do something bad again. I couldn't risk that. I couldn't risk him finding about who I am, and what I've done."

Justin lay back on the bed and pulled Iris with him so that she was on top of him. "So then love for me had nothing to do with it?" Justin pulled Iris's face to his and kissed her.

Iris pulled back and searched his eyes. "I guess I'm just a bad person."

Justin pulled her to him and kissed her again, and rolled over on top of her. He began kissing at her neck. "Why did you do it, that first night, why did you kiss me?"

Justin hovered over her. "Because I was in love with you."

Iris searched his eyes. "It was that simple for you?"

"Come on Irina" Justin said as he hiked up her skirt "we were meant for each other, it's who we are." Justin unbuckled his pants and settled between her legs. "We have a destiny, Jack was a fairytale." Justin pulled the Iris underwear to the side and he pushed into her. She let out a gasp. "See how I fit inside you perfectly" he said as he began to move inside of her looking straight into her eyes. "It's a mortal sin, but we are the sin, there was never any other choice for us." Justin began to breathe heavily as he moved faster.

Iris tightened her legs around Justin's waist and dug her fingernails into his jacket. "You wouldn't know how to leave me, you couldn't live without me. Don't you feel me inside of you? Doesn't it make you complete?" Iris began to whimper and her face began to flush. Justin could feel himself getting close. "If you aren't with me, you are to destroy me, and you can't destroy me can you Ira?"

"No" Iris said before shutting her eyes and letting out a soft whimper.

"We're fate, and you can't fight fate. It drives you to set fires, to murder innocent children, an old crone, to let an innocent man rot in prison. Accept it Ira, don't fight it."

Iris opened her eyes and looked at him as he shuddered his release. "I won't fight you anymore Alexei."



"I don't know if this is healthy Jack" Bruce said as he wandered through Jack's apartment stepping over letters on the floor. He took note of various letters taped to the walls, passages were marked and notated. Bruce ran his plump fingers along the smooth feminine script of a few pages as he reached the kitchen.

Jack looked up from the table where he was reading through one of the letters. "It's not bad once you get over the fundamentals of what's happening" Jack said cryptically.

"I thought it was all about the fundamentals Jack" Bruce said as he cleared a seat.

Jack looked up from his task. "If you don't think you have the stomach for it Bruce, you don't have to help me."

"I can stomach it Jack" Bruce said pulling the letter away from Jack and forcing him to look at him in the eye.

"I'm just not sure exactly what it is you're trying to achieve here" Bruce said.

"I'm looking for the key." Jack took the letter back from Bruce and began reading again. "Somewhere in all of this is the way I'm gonna get her out of this mess. Somewhere is the secret to unlock that gilded cage he's got her in."

"If there's one thing I can understand Bruce, its thinking. If I can figure out how they think together, how he thinks, I can out think him." Jack looked up at Bruce in the way that was so very Jack. "I beat him Bruce."

"What are your thoughts so far" Bruce said with a sigh, picking up a random letter.

"Well, he sets up house with her. There is almost a ritual to what they do. This isn't like what we normally see."

"Sure, normally it's a secret, there's little if any acknowledgement of what's happening even between the two people involved."

Jack looked up at Bruce. "I've never seen so much talk about fate and destiny in my life."

"Wasn't there another woman at some point?" Bruce began sifting through the letters.

"There was a rape, at least that's what I think it is. Iris talks in code half the time, but I think I've figured it out." Jack stood up and started pacing around the kitchen. "He's irresponsible, he's impulsive, he's cruel, but also he's disciplined in his thinking."

"But it's all contingent on Iris" Bruce said "the magical thinking about fate and destiny, always through the support of Iris."

Jack stopped. "She's the liability he always keeps around. Everything, everyone else, he uses and discards except for her. But not just because she's his sister. She started to go crazy towards the end of their stay in St. Paul. He should have ditched then, but instead he comes back to a smaller congregation in California, in Mintern."

"What do you suppose he'd do if he found out what his bastion really thought of him?" Bruce circled his finger around the room. "His whole empire would collapse or he'd have to cut her loose. Crumble his foundation."

Jack looked around and looked up at Bruce. "Can it really be that simple?"

Bruce picked up one of the letters and began to read. "Day and night my thoughts turn to death. I find myself wondering how long it would take to bleed to death if I should slip with the kitchen knife and slit my wrist, or if I would be frightened if I jumped from our apartment window. I find myself frightened of heights not because I'm afraid to fall, but because I fear I won't be able to control my impulse to jump and finally be free of Lexei." Bruce looked up and smiled. "Like an arrow straight through his conniving heart."

"You don't like him either huh." Jack said smiling.

"He's got no business in a collar. He should have never been entrusted with a sacrament as Holy as the Eucharist Jack." Bruce said. "And his superiors should have known it."


	48. Chapter 48

Justin sat in the empty tent in the first pew before the pulpit. He ran his hands over Iris's dress in his hands. He'd managed to get it back from the little cocette who'd run off with it when Iris had charged into his room so many nights ago. And the little tart had repaired it as well. Justin recalled the intensity with which he'd climaxed that day with Iris after she'd first scratched him. He'd spent a considerable amount of time with his head between her legs before pleading into her ear that he would "be good" that he would be uncharacteristically gentle with her. Justin was getting lost in the body memory of that early morning tryst, working his fingers across the familiar blue, the color of heaven and truth. It had always reminded him of the Virgin Mary, the infinite curative power of Iris's lap.

"I recall that dress." Jack said. Justin turned quickly into the cloying tone of Jack's voice. Jack was standing a few feet behind him in the aisle of the tabernacle. He was looking at Justin with a smug appraisal that told Justin he'd come to deliver some kind of parting shot.

"Excuse me Detective," Justin said standing up and stepping into the aisle to meet Jack. They stood facing each other, looking over one another like ill fitting reflections in a mirror. "I didn't hear you come in." Justin smiled. He folded Iris's dress over and leaned behind himself to set it down on one of the pews.

Jack looked past Justin at the dress and smiled. He looked back at Justin. Justin was uncomfortable. He was used to having to look down into people's eyes. He didn't like meeting with a level gaze from this man. And he couldn't help wondering at his frame, wondering what Iris saw in Jack Tiernan that she couldn't see in him. Justin found himself assessing Jack's features, trying to determine if the sum of the angles of his face was greater than his own. Justin couldn't help but think he was more attractive than this interloper.

"Iris wore that dress the first time we were together." Jack said, as if he was merely observing the weather. Justin felt his whole body flash with a fire of anger.

"How dare you come in to a house of God, and say such things about my sister" Justin said, shy of a yell, not wanting to draw attention from the migrants milling about outside.

"Well," Jack said walking past Justin and grabbing Iris's dress in his own hands. "That's quite a statement coming from a man who stands behind a pulpit every Sunday talking about sin." Jack examined the fabric for a moment, "Before going home and fucking his sister." Justin tried to grab for Iris's dress, but Jack stepped back. "Living like man and wife, up on that little," Jack waved his arm toward the ranch house, "house on the hill." Jack swirled his finger in the air "Overlooking this little kingdom here."

Justin stood for a moment in shock at the man before him. It took a few seconds for his brain to decide between the scripts he'd written in his daydreams since the first day he'd made love to his sister, the one of indignation and disgust should someone confront him, and forgoing it all together and simply peeling the flesh from his bones. "You're a sick, sick man Detective Tiernan to accuse a man of God of such a thing, and to imply such a thing about my sister. I'm only grateful she isn't here to hear such an ugly thing said about her." Justin tried again to reach for Iris's dress, but Jack pulled back again, side stepping Justin, and eying the opening in the tent, and the migrants outside.

"No, at least your sister could recognize when she'd been found out. That's one of her better qualities Brother." Jack straightened up and moved closer to Justin. "She's aware of her own frailty."

"I don't know what she told you Detective" Justin said pulling himself together as quickly as he was falling apart. "But my sister is a troubled woman and it's a shame that people like you are always there waiting to take advantage of that."

Jack lifted Iris's dress to his face and smelled it, looking at Justin as though they were negotiating a pin up on the cover of a magazine. "She's really something isn't she?" Jack smiled. "I mean, she doesn't feel like anything else."

"That's enough," Justin said stepping closer and snatching the dress out of Jack's hands. "Now kindly get out." Justin added, still trying to check is voice.

"That's alright." Jack smiled. "You go ahead and keep that. I have a better keepsake." Jack said smiling and tapping his left temple, with his left hand. "There's nothing like the sounds she makes." Jack moved closer to Justin, taunting him. "Do you even know what her desire sounds like? The way her voice breaks when she really wants you? They way she makes your name sound when she's begging for more?" Jack looked at Justin straight on, narrowing his eyes as Justin tried to wrap his mind around everything this stranger was saying. "The sound of Iris in love, it's like a magic spell." Jack said before stepping back a bit, and taking Justin in before him.

Justin couldn't hold it in anymore. He stepped into Jack's space, feeling his eyes cloud over. "Do you have any idea what I could do to you?" Justin pushed in ever closer, feeling a welling strength in his body, the rushing charge of power pushing at his skin, ready to be unleashed. "I could destroy you as easily as fire lays a match." Justin growled, still controlling his rage. "You are nothing. You're an insignificant it in the scheme of things." Justin looked around, his features already beginning to contort, and his eyes wanting to give over to the powerful darkness within him.

"I know that." Jack said, not backing down, but losing the taunting edge to his voice. "But you won't do anything to me." Jack continued "Because she would know." Justin moved closer to him, heaving. "And you don't have it in you to break her heart again." Justin stood inches from Jack's face, huffing out his nostrils like a possessed mustang, or a raging bull. "You don't have it in you to tear her up." Jack continued.

Justin backed away, hating that Jack had figured him out. "That's what the maids are for? Isn't it?" Jack said, regaining his bearings and beginning to smile again.

Justin shook his head silently, still unwilling to admit anything, trying to figure out what all of this meant. Wondering how Iris had actually brought herself to tell someone about them, about him. "I don't know what you're talking about." Justin said, unwilling to look Jack in the eye anymore.

"That's the purpose they serve, isn't it? They keep the monster at bay for awhile?" Jack said, with a tone of real curiosity. "But just sometimes you have to have her. How long did she play hard to get? Twenty years?" Jack smiled, mocking Justin. "I mean, you kept it under control fro a long time." Jack moved toward Justin now, pushing at him with his words like the force of all the evil Justin could muster. "That must've been torture, I understand. Iris, the pull of her can be very..." Jack's voice trailed off and he looked up for a moment, before looking back down, leveling his gaze with Justin's, "Strong, very powerful." Jack fell silent for a moment just staring at Justin. Waiting fro him to do or say something.

"You've got quite an imagination Mr. Tiernan." Justin finally said squeezing the bridge of his nose.

"I've seen it all in my line of work, Brother. Wife beaters, rapists, pedophiles, sadists. You're all the same, treating the world like a giant tit." Jack said, not hiding the derision in his voice.

"You don't know anything about me." Justin spat back, feeling an edge of confidence.

"No, no I don't Brother." Jack said wistfully, "But I'm starting to." Jack straightened his jacket and looked around the tabernacle. "I'm not a religious man. I'm a logical one, but after everything I've seen in my work, the only logical reason for the ugliness I see, is evil." Jack looked into Justin's eyes, "And I think that's what you are." I think you've tried to fight it, but I think it's your nature. Just like my nature." Jack shifted, looking down at the floor for awhile, and then he jerked his head up suddenly. "Do you know what it feels like to find out the woman that you think about before you open your eyes in the morning, the woman you'd cut off your left arm to keep from crying, to find out she's fucking some other man? The whole time kissing you and smiling up into your eyes?" Jack dropped his head again laughing softly before smirking up at Justin, "Of course you do, what was I thinking?"

Justin clenched his fists and jaw in time and felt his heart racing. The flashing images of Iris moaning beneath Jack in a dark motel room were coming faster and faster, trying to tease out the raging beast bristling under his skin.

"I wanted to smack her." Jack admitted, lifting his eyebrow. "I'm a man after all and the idea of you and her." Jack stopped, thrusting his hands into his pockets and leveled with Justin. "It made me nauseous." Jack stepped back and Justin looked down at the ground, trying to lessen the impact of what was being said. "But it's my nature; my nature won't let me leave her Justin. Do you understand?" Jack asked.

Justin looked up at Jack but said nothing. He wasn't quite sure what was being implied. "You keep trying that normal life. But ask yourself how long you can keep it up before your lovely young wife, and let's face it, it's only a matter of time before you decide you need to take one to better your image, wonders why her devoted husband slips out of their bed at night, and creeps into his sister's room to lay his filthy hands all over her, saving all his tender lovemaking for Iris, while dishing out all of his brutal depravities in her lonely wedding bed?" Jack began to walk toward one of the openings in the tent to leave, leaving Justin standing in the aisle staring blankly in his general direction.

"You see Justin it's just in your nature." Jack said, turning around, "You can be good for awhile, but eventually you'll have to give in."

"I love my sister. I would never hurt her." Justin finally said.

Jack stopped at the doorway, taking Justin in a last time. "Love? Obsessed maybe, need, pathologically desire." Jack looked out the tent at the house where Iris was, and back at Justin. "You may be more powerful than me, but I'm smarter." Jack said, catching Justin's eyes. "If there's a way to stop you, "Jack paused, "I will find it."

"Do you really think you can take my sister away from me?" Justin asked disbelieving the hubris, but dreading the truth behind it. "Do you think you can undo a lifetime, that you can get her to abandon her life here? That I would let you take her away?" Justin laughed before becoming more sinister and settling his gaze. "I let you live, I'm letting you walk away, but you're a fool to think you can have her. You could never love her the way I do."

"You're pull over her is very powerful Justin." Jack said, "I don't think there's anything Iris wouldn't do for you. Hell, she already believes she's condemned her soul, to satisfy your lust, the whims of your ministry." Jack stopped for a moment, looking all around him. "But I have an advantage over you. I'm good. And one of these days soon, I'll be coming for her, and I just might have the whole cavalry with me." Jack stood up straighter, to show Justin his resolve, and with that Jack disappeared into the dark.

Justin grabbed Iris's dress back in his hands and tore at the fabric.

"Oh, I almost forgot" Jack interrupted. Justin looked up, frozen in position with the dress pulled tight between his hands. "I hate for someone indiscreet to find these." Jack threw a stack of folded papers bound in a rubber band onto the pew next to Justin. "Man, they are juicy too."

"I don't follow" Justin said.

"You read a lot of scripture, so read some of your sister's script" Jack smiled wide before turning and walking out again. "Who would've guess a priest could even think up such things to do with a woman's body" Jack called out over his shoulder. Jack couldn't resist and turned around one last time "but really wait until you get to the part where she talks about how all that made her feel. It's compelling stuff." Jack turned again, this time disappearing into the dark for good.



Justin locked himself away in his study and began to read. Sofie felt uneasy as she went about the evening chores, as though a great blizzard was brewing. Iris seemed to sense it to, as she kept looking up from her needlepoint expectantly and then dropping her head back down. Eventually Iris turned out the lamp light and headed up stairs and closed her bedroom door, though Sofie heard her open the door, and Sofie assumed peek into the hallway several times before finally falling silent. Still the light under the door of Justin's study glowed.

Sofie lay in bed and felt as great waives of pain and anger and anxiety crashed over her, so fully she started feel as though her body was actually being sucked through the mattress. Then suddenly her heart would go light and she would feel as though she was floating above everything. Through the night Sofie felt a change in the temperature all around her. When she first lay down she was overwhelmed with waves of heat like fire licking her body, and then slowly a chill moved over her, numbing her extremities. Sofie was halfway between dreams and waking when she heard Justin's door open his footsteps down the hallway, and then the load slam of the front door.

Sofie crept out of bed and ran to the edge of the front window and saw Justin walking in his cassock, with no other protection from the night chill, walking towards the migrant camps of New Canaan. As Justin moved further from the house Sofie felt the warmth returning to the tips of her body. Sofie crept into Justin's office and turned on the light. Scattered across the floor where dozens of handwritten pages in the script Sofie recognized as Iris's. Sofie picked one up and saw that several sentences were underlined.

Not wanting to risk being caught she only glanced at them but saw the words _monster,_ and _suicide_ and _depravity. _Another letter had words like _damnation_ and _unforgivable_. All linked to the name _Lexei_. Sofie ran quickly back to her room as if she might be caught in the next instant. She sat on her bed clutching her pillow and listening for any sounds upstairs, but she heard nothing. Sofie could still feel faint waves of emotion roiling under the surface of the walls, floating through the air, charging the atmosphere like electricity and she knew that Justin was still close by.



A sense of dread roused Christopher from dreams and he though he saw a specter of a demon at the foot of his bed. He rubbed his eyes and he saw it moved. Christopher jumped into a sitting position in his tent. The dark thing moved closer to Christopher and as his eyes adjusted to the dark he could make out the figure of Brother Justin. Christopher felt his pulse pounding through his chest remembering Iris's admonitions that he go far away.

"Do you know who I am?" Justin asked, moving closer. Christopher nodded his head in the affirmative.

"I mean, do you know what I am? I think you do." Justin said pulling the boy closer to him so he could stare him down.

Christopher's heart was racing and he felt himself trembling. Christopher could feel it in his bones what Justin was the moment he'd met him, though he couldn't explain why. Just as he'd been pulled to Iris immediately, to protect her, though he couldn't say he'd ever had such an impulse before with a person. Only that he felt she was his to take care of. Christopher nodded his head yes.

"You're not a mute are you boy? Speak." Justin said. His tone was impossible to read, and Christopher felt flustered.

"No" he said "choose not to speak."

"Are you an angel?" Justin asked with a barely contained rage, coupled with genuine fear. "Does my sister speak to you, her inner thoughts?" Justin's voice became calmer, and there was almost a trace of pleading or hope there.

"We don't speak with many words, just feelings sometimes. Strong ones" Christopher said, not sure of what Justin was asking.

"What is she like inside?" Justin asked now almost on his knees in front of Christopher.

"Not like you."

"Have I been wrong this whole time?"

"You can't take her where you're going" Christopher said, not knowing how else to explain to Justin the feelings he clearly wasn't understanding.

"I've been alone all along?" Justin asked his voice almost breaking.

"No, she has."

Justin hunched down and began weeping while Christopher looked on mystified. Suddenly Justin sat up straight and wiped at his face. "I want you to take my sister far, far away from me, where I can't ever find her. Do you understand?"

Christopher nodded yes.

"I'm afraid. I'm afraid what I might do to her, what I might turn her into to keep her with me."

Christopher jumped out of his bed and scrambled to get his clothes on and bolted past Justin to the flap of his tent. He paused there for a moment, unsure of whether or not this was some kind of trick.

"Go!" Justin said before crouching back down and burying his face in his hands.

Christopher took off running for the house.


	49. Chapter 49

Justin sat in the empty tent in the first pew before the pulpit. He ran his hands over Iris's dress in his hands. He'd managed to get it back from the little cocette who'd run off with it when Iris had charged into his room so many nights ago. Justin let out a soft chuckle when he realized that the little tart had repaired it as well. Justin recalled the intensity with which he'd climaxed that day with Iris after she'd first scratched him. The amount of time he'd spent pleading into her ear that he would "be good" that he would be uncharacteristically gentle with her had intensified the ecstasy of actual release far beyond what he'd ever experienced with her before.. Justin was getting lost in the memory of that early morning tryst, working his fingers across the familiar blue fabric, the color of heaven and truth. It had always reminded him of the Virgin Mary, and the infinite curative power of Iris's lap.

"I recall that dress." Jack said. Justin turned quickly into the cloying tone of Jack's voice. Jack was standing a few feet behind him in the aisle of the tabernacle. He was looking at Justin with a smug appraisal that told Justin he'd come to deliver some kind of parting shot.

"Excuse me Detective," Justin said standing up and stepping into the aisle to meet Jack. They stood facing each other, looking over one another like ill fitting reflections in a mirror. "I didn't hear you come in." Justin smiled. He folded Iris's dress over and leaned behind himself to set it down on one of the pews.

Jack looked past Justin at the dress and smiled. He looked back at Justin. Justin was uncomfortable. He was used to having to look down into people's eyes. He didn't like meeting with a level gaze from this man. And he couldn't help wondering at his frame, wondering what Iris saw in Jack Tiernan that she couldn't see in him. Justin found himself assessing Jack's features, trying to determine if the sum of the angles of his face was greater than his own. Justin couldn't help but think he was more attractive than this interloper.

"Iris wore that dress the first time we were together." Jack said, as if he was merely observing the weather. Justin felt his whole body flash with a fire of anger.

"How dare you come in to a house of God, and say such things about my sister" Justin said, shy of a yell, not wanting to draw attention from the migrants milling about outside.

"Well," Jack said walking past Justin and grabbing Iris's dress in his own hands. "That's quite a statement coming from a man who stands behind a pulpit every Sunday talking about sin." Jack examined the fabric for a moment, "Before going home and fucking his sister." Justin tried to grab for Iris's dress, but Jack stepped back. "Living like man and wife, up on that little," Jack waved his arm toward the ranch house, "house on the hill." Jack swirled his finger in the air "Overlooking this little kingdom here."

Justin stood for a moment in shock at the man before him. It took a few seconds for his brain to decide between the scripts he'd written in his daydreams since the first day he'd made love to his sister, the one of indignation and disgust should someone confront him, and forgoing it all together and simply peeling the flesh from his bones. "You're a sick, sick man Detective Tiernan to accuse a man of God of such a thing, and to imply such a thing about my sister. I'm only grateful she isn't here to hear such an ugly thing said about her." Justin tried again to reach for Iris's dress, but Jack pulled back again, side stepping Justin, and eying the opening in the tent, and the migrants outside.

"No, at least your sister could recognize when she'd been found out. That's one of her better qualities Brother." Jack straightened up and moved closer to Justin. "She's aware of her own frailty."

"I don't know what she told you Detective" Justin said pulling himself together as quickly as he was falling apart. "But my sister is a troubled woman and it's a shame that people like you are always there waiting to take advantage of that."

Jack lifted Iris's dress to his face and smelled it, looking at Justin as though they were negotiating a pin up on the cover of a magazine. "She's really something isn't she?" Jack smiled. "I mean, she doesn't feel like anything else."

"That's enough," Justin said stepping closer and snatching the dress out of Jack's hands. "Now kindly get out." Justin added, still trying to check is voice.

"That's alright." Jack smiled. "You go ahead and keep that. I have a better keepsake." Jack said smiling and tapping his left temple, with his left hand. "There's nothing like the sounds she makes." Jack moved closer to Justin, taunting him. "Do you even know what her desire sounds like? The way her voice breaks when she really wants you? They way she makes your name sound when she's begging for more?" Jack looked at Justin straight on, narrowing his eyes as Justin tried to wrap his mind around everything this stranger was saying. "The sound of Iris in love, it's like a magic spell." Jack said before stepping back a bit, and taking Justin in before him.

Justin couldn't hold it in anymore. He stepped into Jack's space, feeling his eyes cloud over. "Do you have any idea what I could do to you?" Justin pushed in ever closer, feeling a welling strength in his body, the rushing charge of power pushing at his skin, ready to be unleashed. "I could destroy you as easily as fire lays a match." Justin growled, still controlling his rage. "You are nothing. You're an insignificant it in the scheme of things." Justin looked around, his features already beginning to contort, and his eyes wanting to give over to the powerful darkness within him.

"I know that." Jack said, not backing down, but losing the taunting edge to his voice. "But you won't do anything to me." Jack continued "Because she would know." Justin moved closer to him, heaving. "And you don't have it in you to break her heart again." Justin stood inches from Jack's face, huffing out his nostrils like a possessed mustang, or a raging bull. "You don't have it in you to tear her up." Jack continued.

Justin backed away, hating that Jack had figured him out. "That's what the maids are for? Isn't it?" Jack said, regaining his bearings and beginning to smile again.

Justin shook his head silently, still unwilling to admit anything, trying to figure out what all of this meant. Wondering how Iris had actually brought herself to tell someone about them, about him. "I don't know what you're talking about." Justin said, unwilling to look Jack in the eye anymore.

"That's the purpose they serve, isn't it? They keep the monster at bay for awhile?" Jack said, with a tone of real curiosity. "But just sometimes you have to have her. How long did she play hard to get? Twenty years?" Jack smiled, mocking Justin. "I mean, you kept it under control fro a long time." Jack moved toward Justin now, pushing at him with his words like the force of all the evil Justin could muster. "That must've been torture, I understand. Iris, the pull of her can be very..." Jack's voice trailed off and he looked up for a moment, before looking back down, leveling his gaze with Justin's, "Strong, very powerful." Jack fell silent for a moment just staring at Justin. Waiting fro him to do or say something.

"You've got quite an imagination Mr. Tiernan." Justin finally said squeezing the bridge of his nose.

"I've seen it all in my line of work, Brother. Wife beaters, rapists, pedophiles, sadists. You're all the same, treating the world like a giant tit." Jack said, not hiding the derision in his voice.

"You don't know anything about me." Justin spat back, feeling an edge of confidence.

"No, no I don't Brother." Jack said wistfully, "But I'm starting to." Jack straightened his jacket and looked around the tabernacle. "I'm not a religious man. I'm a logical one, but after everything I've seen in my work, the only logical reason for the ugliness I see, is evil." Jack looked into Justin's eyes, "And I think that's what you are." I think you've tried to fight it, but I think it's your nature. Just like my nature." Jack shifted, looking down at the floor for awhile, and then he jerked his head up suddenly. "Do you know what it feels like to find out the woman that you think about before you open your eyes in the morning, the woman you'd cut off your left arm to keep from crying, to find out she's fucking some other man? The whole time kissing you and smiling up into your eyes?" Jack dropped his head again laughing softly before smirking up at Justin, "Of course you do, what was I thinking?"

Justin clenched his fists and jaw in time and felt his heart racing. The flashing images of Iris moaning beneath Jack in a dark motel room were coming faster and faster, trying to tease out the raging beast bristling under his skin.

"I wanted to smack her." Jack admitted, lifting his eyebrow. "I'm a man after all and the idea of you and her." Jack stopped, thrusting his hands into his pockets and leveled with Justin. "It made me nauseous." Jack stepped back and Justin looked down at the ground, trying to lessen the impact of what was being said. "But it's my nature; my nature won't let me leave her Justin. Do you understand?" Jack asked.

Justin looked up at Jack but said nothing. He wasn't quite sure what was being implied. "You keep trying that normal life. But ask yourself how long you can keep it up before your lovely young wife, and let's face it, it's only a matter of time before you decide you need to take one to better your image, wonders why her devoted husband slips out of their bed at night, and creeps into his sister's room to lay his filthy hands all over her, saving all his tender lovemaking for Iris, while dishing out all of his brutal depravities in her lonely wedding bed?" Jack began to walk toward one of the openings in the tent to leave, leaving Justin standing in the aisle staring blankly in his general direction.

"You see Justin it's just in your nature." Jack said, turning around, "You can be good for awhile, but eventually you'll have to give in."

"I love my sister. I would never hurt her." Justin finally said.

Jack stopped at the doorway, taking Justin in a last time. "Love? Obsessed maybe, need, pathologically desire." Jack looked out the tent at the house where Iris was, and back at Justin. "You may be more powerful than me, but I'm smarter." Jack said, catching Justin's eyes. "If there's a way to stop you, "Jack paused, "I will find it."

"Do you really think you can take my sister away from me?" Justin asked disbelieving the hubris, but dreading the truth behind it. "Do you think you can undo a lifetime, that you can get her to abandon her life here? That I would let you take her away?" Justin laughed before becoming more sinister and settling his gaze. "I let you live, I'm letting you walk away, but you're a fool to think you can have her. You could never love her the way I do."

"You're pull over her is very powerful Justin." Jack said, "I don't think there's anything Iris wouldn't do for you. Hell, she already believes she's condemned her soul, to satisfy your lust, the whims of your ministry." Jack stopped for a moment, looking all around him. "But I have an advantage over you. I'm good. And one of these days soon, I'll be coming for her, and I just might have the whole cavalry with me." Jack stood up straighter, to show Justin his resolve, and with that Jack disappeared into the dark.

Justin grabbed Iris's dress back in his hands and tore at the fabric.

"Oh, I almost forgot" Jack interrupted. Justin looked up, frozen in position with the dress pulled tight between his hands. "I hate for someone indiscreet to find these." Jack threw a stack of folded papers bound in a rubber band onto the pew next to Justin. "Man, they are juicy too."

"I don't follow" Justin said.

"You read a lot of scripture, so read some of your sister's script" Jack smiled wide before turning and walking out again. "Who would've guess a priest could even think up such things to do with a woman's body" Jack called out over his shoulder. Jack couldn't resist and turned around one last time "but really wait until you get to the part where she talks about how all that made her feel. It's compelling stuff." Jack turned again, this time disappearing into the dark for good.



Justin locked himself away in his study and began to read. Sofie felt uneasy as she went about the evening chores, as though a great blizzard was brewing. Iris seemed to sense it to, as she kept looking up from her needlepoint expectantly and then dropping her head back down. Eventually Iris turned out the lamp light and headed up stairs and closed her bedroom door, though Sofie heard her open the door, and Sofie assumed peek into the hallway several times before finally falling silent. Still the light under the door of Justin's study glowed.

Sofie lay in bed and felt as great waives of pain and anger and anxiety crashed over her, so fully she started feel as though her body was actually being sucked through the mattress. Then suddenly her heart would go light and she would feel as though she was floating above everything. Through the night Sofie felt a change in the temperature all around her. When she first lay down she was overwhelmed with waves of heat like fire licking her body, and then slowly a chill moved over her, numbing her extremities. Sofie was halfway between dreams and waking when she heard Justin's door open his footsteps down the hallway, and then the load slam of the front door.

Sofie crept out of bed and ran to the edge of the front window and saw Justin walking in his cassock, with no other protection from the night chill, walking towards the migrant camps of New Canaan. As Justin moved further from the house Sofie felt the warmth returning to the tips of her body. Sofie crept into Justin's office and turned on the light. Scattered across the floor where dozens of handwritten pages in the script Sofie recognized as Iris's. Sofie picked one up and saw that several sentences were underlined.

Not wanting to risk being caught she only glanced at them but saw the words _monster,_ and _suicide_ and _depravity. _Another letter had words like _damnation_ and _unforgivable_. All linked to the name _Lexei_. Sofie ran quickly back to her room as if she might be caught in the next instant. She sat on her bed clutching her pillow and listening for any sounds upstairs, but she heard nothing. Sofie could still feel faint waves of emotion roiling under the surface of the walls, floating through the air, charging the atmosphere like electricity and she knew that Justin was still close by.



A sense of dread roused Christopher from dreams and he though he saw a specter of a demon at the foot of his bed. He rubbed his eyes and he saw it moved. Christopher jumped into a sitting position in his tent. The dark thing moved closer to Christopher and as his eyes adjusted to the dark he could make out the figure of Brother Justin. Christopher felt his pulse pounding through his chest remembering Iris's admonitions that he go far away.

"Do you know who I am?" Justin asked, moving closer. Christopher nodded his head in the affirmative.

"I mean, do you know what I am? I think you do." Justin said pulling the boy closer to him so he could stare him down.

Christopher's heart was racing and he felt himself trembling. Christopher could feel it in his bones what Justin was the moment he'd met him, though he couldn't explain why. Just as he'd been pulled to Iris immediately, to protect her, though he couldn't say he'd ever had such an impulse before with a person. Only that he felt she was his to take care of. Christopher nodded his head yes.

"You're not a mute are you boy? Speak." Justin said. His tone was impossible to read, and Christopher felt flustered.

"No" he said "choose not to speak."

"Are you an angel?" Justin asked with a barely contained rage, coupled with genuine fear. "Does my sister speak to you, her inner thoughts?" Justin's voice became calmer, and there was almost a trace of pleading or hope there.

"We don't speak with many words, just feelings sometimes. Strong ones" Christopher said, not sure of what Justin was asking.

"What is she like inside?" Justin asked now almost on his knees in front of Christopher.

"Not like you."

"Have I been wrong this whole time?"

"You can't take her where you're going" Christopher said, not knowing how else to explain to Justin the feelings he clearly wasn't understanding.

"I've been alone all along?" Justin asked his voice almost breaking.

"No, she has."

Justin hunched down and began weeping while Christopher looked on mystified. Suddenly Justin sat up straight and wiped at his face. "I want you to take my sister far, far away from me, where I can't ever find her. Do you understand?"

Christopher nodded yes.

"I'm afraid. I'm afraid what I might do to her, what I might turn her into to keep her with me."

Christopher jumped out of his bed and scrambled to get his clothes on and bolted past Justin to the flap of his tent. He paused there for a moment, unsure of whether or not this was some kind of trick.

"Go!" Justin said before crouching back down and burying his face in his hands.

Christopher took off running for the house.


	50. Chapter 50

_October 31, 1936_

_Dear Rose,_

_I wish I could have written you back sooner, but Jack didn't really feel it was safe until now. I can't tell you exactly where I am, but the sunsets here are beautiful. Christopher and I lived alone together in a motel room on the beach, and even shared a bed the first two months I was here, you would have been very proud. I know you never really got the chance to get to know him, but he was my salvation more than once back in Mintern. And he cleaned up well too...He's still rough around the edges but there's a school teacher who I hear leaving out of the back door early in the morning from time to time, and at least once a week Chrsitopher is gone all night helping her repair this or that. She's a pretty girl, and she's helping me to learn the language. _

_Jack's gone most of the time working on different cases and working on something major he doens't like to talk to me about, so it's mainly Crhistopher and me around the house, which I don't mind at all. We talk a lot, silence is such an unnecessary thing around here now that we try to make as much noise as possible. Trying to learn another langauge at my age is practically ridiculous, though moving to Russia was even less appealing to me. I have the vocabulary of a very precocious five year old. We sing songs to announce our comings and goings and our plans for dinner, to help me rememeber the neccessities. It's very much like the way I learned English so long ago. I think Christopher is the only person I could let see me stumbling around in a such a state with my thoughts. Even Jack would intimidate me I think. _

_Jack never reminds me of the fact that he speaks three languages, but you know me, he doesn't have to. Whenever he's too kind to my pronunciation or misnomers I remind him that he knows better than me. He tells me that soon I'll have mastered it, and then we'll be even. Jack and I haven't gotten married yet. He used to ask me every day, but I would always tell him that he could do much better in a wife, and it's true. A few months after we'd settled into the split level we have here I woke up and found a ring on my finger. Jack didn't say anything about it, and I didn't take it off. He calls me his wife and I dont' correct him, but I dont' know if we'll ever make it official. Sometimes I just feel like what we have, I don't want to share with anyone else. Except for you and Christopher of course. So to answer your question from that letter you gave to Jack to deliver to me months and months ago. No Jack and I aren't married yet, but I am his wife now._

_All I can really tell you about where I'm staying is that it's warm here all the time and at night you can hear the waves crashing in my bedroom if you leave the windows open. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and have to shut them because the sounds of the tides will keep me up all night fighting off nightmares about a great flood washing over the earth like Noah and the Ark. There's never a need for shoes and I've hiked up the hems on all of my dresses to make it easier to wade into the ocean. Aside from my language lessons with Christopher's lady friend, I mostly lay about the house like a pampered pet, or help Christopher work on car motors. Yes you read correctly, and he says I have an aptitude for it. _

_I don't miss much of Mintern, except of course for Justin. Some days it's like I'm missing an arm, and I feel as though I'm trying to get by like everyone else with a great handicap. Neither Jack nor Christopher can really understand me when I get in that somber state, and I don't want t to talk to them about it much because of their feelings about him. I really don't want Justin to huant my new life with that old sorrow. Most days it's more like a nagging feeling, like I've forgotten an appointment, and I wander about all day feeling as though I've forgotten something, but I can't quite place my finger on it. Sometimes when I'm alone reading or in the bath I'll hear a creaking floorboard and I'll think it's my brother and my heart will race and then I'll remember that he's miles away from me and a sadness will come over me and linger for hours. I wonder a lot if he misses me, and though I've got no reason to, I feel rejected, forgotten, cast away, like a wayward child. Though I chose to leave, and he chose to let me. I try not to understand any of anymore, and just let it pass through me instead. _

_Its a bittersweet feeling for me when I think of Mintern, but I can't say that I miss it very much. I just remember that I used to make pancakes every morning when Justin and I first moved back there from St. Paul, and Justin would bring me home a piece of fresh fruit everyday. It's funny the things you remember, I'm hard pressed to recall the birthdays or Christmases, but I can still taste the sweet peaches that he brought home at the beginning of August._

_I'm never hard pressed for affection though. When the sun begins to set me and Christopher sit on the porch swing and he cuddles up to me and lets me stroke his hair and tell him stories about Russia and the Dahlias and you. He introduces me as his mother, because he says it's easier for him to explain in a foreign language, and like Jack, I let him, even when we're alone and speaking English only to each other. Jack always comes home at sunset, and I get a strange giddy feeliing inside when the sun hits the horizon line before I ever glance at my watch, knowing that he's coming. Everyday I run out and hug him like he's been gone for years, and he spins me around in his arms like a knight returning home from a long battlle. And when he kisses me I feel all flustered. I thought that would go away eventually, but even with his ring on my finger, I still find myself getting shy sometimes when he looks at me too long. _

_I don't know if I'm happy or if I did the right thing. But at night when I'm sitting at the dinner table with Jack and Crhistopher, I get a strange warm sensation all through my body, and my heart feels liighter when I see them eating, like a mother bird watching her eggs hatch. I can't help but smile even as I write this, just thinking about the exconvict who writes poetry and calls himself my son, and the blue eyed cherub with the kindest demeanor I've ever known, who has a crooked nose from being punched in the face iin too many bar brawls, and scares the local miscreants into crossing to the other side of the street when we find ourselves out on the town. Mother and wife, these are words that I never thought I would hear describing me, and I'm still getting used to the fit of them. But I do think of them as mine, so I suppose they are my family, and that I feel proud whenever I look at them._

_I feel guilty sometimes at night in Jack's arms. Feeling so content. I feel that I shouldn't, that I should be sufferring the world. _

_I miss you, intensely at times._

_Jack is yelling at me from downstairs to finish up now so he can take this letter to you. In a few moments I imagine he'll be bounding up the steps to kiss me for the fifth time since he got his suitcase into the car. I'm pouting because I can't come with him to see you. I coulld never ask Jack, but if you have the chance to write me something back, could you send me some news about my brother?_

_I love you,_

_Iris._


End file.
